KAL PENN GETS FITTING FAREWELL TO WHITE HOUSE STINT: “Actor-turned White House aide Kal Penn was robbed at gunpoint near his D.C. townhouse early Tuesday, police sources told the Washington Examiner. Penn, whose real name is Kalpen Modi, was walking in the 1500 block of S Street NW around 1:20 a.m. when a man with a dark-colored pistol ran up to him and demanded his belongings, police said. When Penn asked what the man wanted, the gunman is said to have replied, ‘Everything.’” But but but was he still able to get his White Castle hamburgers by sunrise? [Yeas & Nays]
WASHINGTON'S GREATEST CELEBRITIES 3:17 pm April 20, 2010
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{ 47 comments }
Dr. House will never let him live this down.
A “dark colored pistol”, huh? That really narrows it down.
“..the gunman is said to have replied, ‘Everything.’”
Ah, the Dalai Lama bandit, obvs.
Newell have you been robbed in D.C yet? Or are you waiting until your last day (gasp) at the Wonkette?
One of the baggers from yesterdays rally must have needed bus fare to get back to Kentucky!
[re=560470]SmutBoffin[/re]: Silly little distinction, though I doubt he’d know the difference between a pistol and a revolver.
“A dark-skinned pistol was seen fleeing the seen…”
Or, fleeing the *scene*, you fucking retard.
Ah, I thought he shot himself in the head, like he did on House MD.
[re=560477]magic titty[/re]: My car has been broken into a couple of times, but no, I have not been mugged. I think you have to leave the house and walk around for that to happen.
Didn’t that ruffian realize what day it is today? He robbed Kumar? That’s like goosing a nun on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception.
Who was the dark colored pistol? You guessed it: Maya Keyes.
[re=560496]nappyduggs[/re]: Oh shit! 420!
Uh, Kal, there’s not a lot good going to happen to you at 1:20 a.m. on the street in DC. Just because U Street and Adams Morgan have gotten a leetle bit gentrified doesn’t mean you want to wander around after dark by yourself. You’re a movie star, call a cab when you leave the Black Cat.
Another drug buy gone bad.
[re=560493]Jim Newell[/re]: Don’t forget that DC Social Services has a program that will bring muggers to the homes of shut-ins so that you don’t feel left out.
Too bad his brother BJ wasn’t there to help him teabag the bad guy into submission.
[re=560476]TGY[/re]: What is the sound of one hand mugging?
Something’s in the air with us 420 people today, because Kal’s not the only one feeling the pain.
I just created my very first ever:
“Hitler Finds Out On His Birthday What 4/20 Means To Everyone Else”
Clip last night and as it turns out today, is the day that Constantin Films is giving Adolf a big fat juicy birthday present and making YouTube pull *all* the ‘Downfall’ clips:
http://openvideoalliance.org/2010/04/hitler-downfall-meme-gets-dmcad/comment-page-1/?l=en#comment-1880
Un-fucking-believable this happened to me today. Further evidence I’ve got this Forrest Gump/Zelig Curse going on.
I only thought of doing this last night after midnight, so it’s a rush job, and the timings just a little off, but so far, it’s my best damn work. Bastards.
You better believe I unironically threw an Adolf level temper tantrum when YouTube wouldn’t let me post it.
I already lodged a Fair Use dispute claim with YouTube, on Political Speech Grounds, the SCOTUS Citizen’s United Decision needs to cut both ways, and lucky me, the company that owns the original film just happens to be local to me so I’m going to go in there personally on Thursday, since I’ll be in the neighborhood anyway meeting a client, and request permission to post it.
Layne’s got a direct link to it in his email, but I’m not going to put it up here because of the whole Ban Hammer of the Gods thing. I was one of the Wonketeers from back in the day that had to audition for my posting privileges, and I’m not about to give that up.
Number one suspect: Neil Patrick Harris.
[re=560496]nappyduggs[/re]: Goosing a nun isn’t a required part of the Feast of the I.C.? Man, they sure taught us all wrong at Holy Family back in ’61.
Oh, Crank Tango. ::shakes head sadly::
Freakshow got out of prison?
The mugger probably thought he had a massive bag of kind on him.
[re=560545]gurukalehuru[/re]: The DC po-po put an APB out on a white ’83 Chevy Unicorn with a rainbow sticker on its hock.
As a commentor to the original article sagely noted:
“The goverment which wants to govern us all, air we breath, cars we drive, health insurance we buy, can’t even keep the peace in our capital city.”
Poor Kumar! Anyway, isn’t his quitting his White House job a little like when Che Guevara left a government position in Havana to go get shot in Bolivia? Wow – it’s almost uncanny!
[re=560548]chaste everywhere[/re]: That was pre-Vatican II. Now I think you can UFB ‘em, but good luck finding a cute young one.
[re=560528]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: That’s right! I believe it’s called “Meals on Wheels”.
Eric Cantor just went to press saying, He too was robbed at gunpoint near his dc townhouse, and it’s not just happening to Democrats and they should stop giving power to muggers saying, ‘if they keep broadcasting their muggings it will give them power’.
Deserves what he got. He shouldn’t have complained about the volcano monitoring.
[re=560590]PlanetWingnuta[/re]: I’m not for mugging or violence, or violent mugging, but it makes me laugh to think of Cantor crying like a newborn if he ever got mugged.
[re=560605]Katydid[/re]: Me too…actually a whole lot of republicans crying that they got mugged would make me chuckle a bit..ok i lied…a lot!!!
White Castle? He must have been drunk. Only drunks can eat that shit.
[re=560609]PlanetWingnuta[/re]: Imagine Cantor wailing while he got mugged, even if the mugger didn’t have a little dark gun. Cantor is such a pussy, and I don’t think I’ve ever used that word in that way. But he is. A pussy.
[re=560617]Katydid[/re]: He does remind you of the class geek who always had his hand up. Not cause he was smart as he wanted the attention of being the “good” kid. Who did get bullied cause of his arrogance more than his geekiness.
[re=560630]PlanetWingnuta[/re]: The kind of kid who said, every Friday, “Teacher, you forgot to give us homework.” And after he got justly beaten, he would yell at his attackers, just as they walked out of earshot, “I’m telling.”
[re=560493]Jim Newell[/re]: Nope. Robbed in my own house! While I was there!
[re=560638]Katydid[/re]: LOL you so get me LOL
To the S Street Muggers: Seriously – who steals White House identification card of someone who is leaving? Next time hit Rahm, instead. He’ll be there forever.
[re=560649]PlanetWingnuta[/re]: LOL, and unfortunately you and I both get those kind of people, who always grow up to be Republicans, because they were Republicans in junior high. You know, assholes.
[re=560660]Katydid[/re]: Then grow up to prove how much their assholes by shitting on everyone else.
[re=560493]Jim Newell[/re]:
Stay in the house, young Jim. There is booze, porn, and Cheetos there. No need to go outside.
[re=560541]Dustin de Wynde[/re]:
You need another hobby,
This is so psychedelic man. Kal gets mugged on his way to blow town. On 4/20. Not righteous dude.
I really object to the racial stereotyping.
“Dark colored pistol.”
Does the Mainstream Media ever mention when the pistol is chrome plated, i.e., “White”?
I think not!
Dude. That is so not extreme.
When Penn asked what the man wanted, the gunman is said to have replied, ‘Everything.’”
Really, if it wasn’t for Kal getting mugged, this would be the most bad-ass, cold-blooded, gangsta’ movie line of all times.
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