Finally, some Wonkette agreement with the Greenville Tea Party of South Carolina: Why won’t unmarried ex-Sailor Lindsey Graham, whose super-gay voice and constant gayness with Joe Lieberman and Walnuts McCain make him seem gay, just tell us the truth about his sexual orientation? Straight, or gay — which is it, Lindsey? (CAVEAT: it will only count as “truth” if he says “gay.”)

Ha ha ha no no no… we are just being dumb and mean. This speaker at the Greenville Tea Party event, though, is very seriously concerned that Lindsey Graham’s Stealth Gayness is causing him to (pretend to) work with Democrats on energy and immigration bills. IT’S NOT THAT HE’S HOMOPHOBIC THAT’S NOT WHAT HE’S… THAT’S JUST NOT IT, OKAY? He’s merely declaring that… if Lindsey Graham were gay… he wouldn’t vote for him? Eh? There, that should do it.

(Also enjoyable is his brilliant prophecy that people would make fun of him for these comments on Monday morning. Ha ha, silly overreact-y Internet, always thinking there’s fun to be made when someone says, “I need to figure out why you’re trying to sell out your own countrymen, and I need to make sure you being gay isn’t it,” earnestly.)


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