About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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  • JMP

    Dammit, I was hoping for an arrest warrant.

  • GoinGreen

    With pedi-penis popsicles for the bishops who had only raped the “quiet ones”.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    I always wondered what TinTin would look like if ever got to be 83 years old, and started flashing black/blue/white, over and over again.

  • The Church of Realism

    Aaaagh!!! Thank God I’m not an epileptic…

  • rag

    gif seizure

  • user-of-owls

    [re=558413]JMP[/re]: Dammit, I was hoping for some anti-seizure medicine.

  • Bostoprov

    Is there something specific I’m supposed to do after that seizure?

  • JohnnyMeatworth

    well, shit! they don’t make Pope on a Rope anymore….

    http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article6964554.ece

  • PsycGirl

    You almost gave me a seizure for the Pope’s birthday. Was that his idea?

  • magic titty

    In honor of The Church, the cake was Fudgie The Whale from Carvel.

  • jetjaguar

    So, one thing I miss from Netscape is that you could use the stop button to stop animated gifs.

  • Hooray For Anything

    Awww…isn’t that sweet, the Archdiocese of New York gave him a 16 year old boy as a present.

  • jetjaguar

    [re=558421]Bostoprov[/re]: That depends. Can you sit down comfortably right now?

  • edgydrifter

    Balrog!

  • JMP

    [re=558431]jetjaguar[/re]: It works in Firefox, too. Now if you’re using IE, I have no idea (and pity you).

  • Maddow Loves Cox

    I think it’s really horrible that you liberal secular freemason jew homosexual unreal american progressives refer to the man as ‘Ratzinger’. You should show respect to his rank.

    So it’s oberrottenfuhrer Ratzinger to you, OK?

    That guy fought in a war, he was part of the Greatest Generation, he saw the suffering of prisoners from Dachau first hand. If he was complicit in some of the greatest crimes of the century, well, they were all at it. Times two, of course, what with the whole ‘being a Nazi’ thing. And he killed Mace Windu.

  • Extemporanus

    After staring at Pope Strobeyrapechildren II for the last ten minutes straight, I can’t decide whether to take off my belt and hang myself with it, or to not take off my belt and choke to death on my own tongue.

    Win-win?

  • JamesMichaelCurley

    [re=558431]jetjaguar[/re]: Works in IE8.

  • Jim89048

    [re=558431]jetjaguar[/re]: Escape button works in Firefox, but I think I was too late.

  • Jukesgrrl

    “I am the God of Hell Fire … and I bring you RATZI!”

  • FlownOver

    Nice little web-thing youse got there – be a shame if anything happened to it.

    It’s Friday, and if youse don’t give us back our Comics Curmudgeon… well, ya never know.

  • 4tehlulz

    DELICIOUS CAKE MUST EAT

  • Tommmcatt

    That blingee really needs Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in d or Shostakovich’s String Quartet #8 in c minor to be truly effective. Or maybe Manson’s cover of Sweet Dreams>/i>.

  • NJB

    That insane little psychedelic birthday card could set off epileptic seizures. Yow.

  • Tommmcatt

    [re=558445]FlownOver[/re]:

    He’s on “vacation”. Give him a break until the meds stabilize.

  • JGabriel

    Time for a “The cake is a lie” reference?

    .

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    The Pope Strobe is bad for my brain.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    No no, Your Eminence. You’re supposed to blow out the candles, not the acolytes.

  • sezme

    Assraping children is important for our national security, Vatican experts say…

  • bureaucrap

    The pope’s cake is going to be one of those giant ones. At the *stroke* of midnight, “Jason”, a 18-year old “altar boy” will jump out of the cake wearing nothing but a banner reading “gauisus natalis, Pontifex!” Then he’ll piss on the Pope’s Pradas. At the pope’s request of course.

  • honkyman

    Bet he can’t hardly wait to view the vibrating giant penis sculpture in Malta

  • jetjaguar

    [re=558438]JMP[/re]: YOU LIE! [re=558441]JamesMichaelCurley[/re]: Huh, you’re right. I don’t think it used to though… +1 to IE. [re=558442]Jim89048[/re]: You is also right, but that’s dumb. The stop button is the most intuitive solution. I use chrome, but I don’t see a built in way to stop teh blingees.

  • Prommie

    [re=558445]FlownOver[/re]: They were pretty quick to act on the poll results, weren’t they?

    Where’s the sexing room I asked for, is what I want to know, Comics Curmudgeon, he was alright, shining his spotlight of truth, showing that there are so many many people in the world who do their jobs even worse than I do mine, editorial comic-making guys as well as law-talking-guys, but I can take him or leave him, I wanted a live video sex chat room.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I sent him a pair of armor-plated underpants so they don’t do to him in prison what he facilitated in church for so long. A few more years and you’da been home free, Ratzi — I’ll bet neither you nor Bernie Madoff thought you’d get so close, did you?

  • widestanceromancer

    After my third seizure finally subsided, I found myself seeking out a fourth, and a fifth and so on. My neurons haven’t had it this good in years.

  • Joehoya

    Tea and cake _and_ death.

  • Asa Hawks

    Well, this’ll make for some interesting nightmares.

  • GOPCrusher

    I thought Nazi Pope was supposed to be dead by now.

  • RogueDC

    [re=558461]bureaucrap[/re]: Ratzi: “Meh… too old!”

  • Extemporanus

    [re=558493]SayItWithWookies[/re]: A similar method was attempted during the Spanish Inquisition:

    Phase 1: Collect Iron Maiden Underpants
    Phase 2: ?
    Phase 3: Repent!

  • RogueDC

    [re=558527]RogueDC[/re]: Ratzi: “As for the 11 year old boy, also too old!”

    I wonder how to translate into latin, “If the field’s got any grass, I’ll pass”

  • problemwithcaring

    [re=558421]Bostoprov[/re]: That’s not a seizure. It’s clear you need a professional exorcist.

  • An Outhouse

    Ratzo needs his ass capped and traded.

  • hoosiermama

    [re=558427]magic titty[/re]: “A whale of a cake for a whale of a pope.” –Tom Carvel.

  • mustardman

    You gotta put up a warning for that animated picture for any epliptics out there! Yikes!

  • Pete-O

    Benny the Rat wanted to show all of his devotees that he can have his cake and eat it, too.

    Make a wish and blow hard, for a good altar boy is hard to find, but a hard… well, y’know.

  • Snarkalicious

    [re=558439]Maddow Loves Cox[/re]: “Vee didn’t invade zem. Zey invited us to come ovah. Vee brought cake.”

  • Words

    [re=558451]NJB[/re]: … and migraines.

  • The Toot

    Personally, I was hoping for another Pedobear in his Pedovan. I has sad.

  • zenferret

    So its Pope Palpatine’s birthday huh? Did Cardinal Vader give him the cake?

  • chascates

    How about the Vatican & it’s entire population move to Jerusalem? Better yet, aren’t Betheleham & Nazareth in ‘occupied’ territory?

  • leftcoaster

    The cake was in the shape of a smooth, supple bottom of a 9 year old boy.

  • Briguy

    I did’t get a seizure cuz I’m drunk. Fuck you. It’s Friday.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    You know who else was born in April..

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=558647]leftcoaster[/re]: And it was a giant cake–an actual 9 year old boy popped right out of the cake’s asshole and started singing Ratzi’s favorite showtunes!

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=558687]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: D’oh, I guess I should read the thing above the picture..

  • Accordion-o-rama

    [re=558419]rag[/re]: [re=558420]user-of-owls[/re]: [re=558421]Bostoprov[/re]: It’s nice to see so many seizures in a story regarding Dr. Ratz. Maybe some will rub off on him.

    (Not really. The longer he’s the public face of the church, the better from my perspective.)

  • President Beeblebrox

    Needs moar altarboys.

  • smellyal8r

    [re=558705]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: Oh, you said “PUBLIC” face of the church. I misread it and laughed out loud for a long time.

  • widget09

    Was “Panzer Pope” presented with the cake by a nubile young boy? Happy Birthday indeed.

  • RogueDC

    [re=558715]smellyal8r[/re]: Same… some of my coffee went out the nose and onto the keyboard. Then upon reflection, I realized that Ratzi wouldn’t get pubic hair on his face, you know how picky he is.

    I can’t wait until he gets to England and those atheists arrest him. Just for fun they should let him cackle in front of the press going “DIP-LO-MATIC IMM-UN-IT-Y!” like that creep in Lethal Weapon 2. Then Danny Glover could come up from behind, dressed up in a Bobby outfit, pull down his cap, and pull out some handcuffs, declaring “It’s just been revoked!” Epic FTW on Youtube!

  • Jukesgrrl

    [re=558705]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: “The longer he’s the public face of the church, the better from my perspective.” I hadn’t really thought of that angle before. You have a point. Reverse-PR: it works for me.

  • Jim89048

    [re=558733]Jukesgrrl[/re]: I’m not so sure. I mean, reagan has been the public face of the repubs for over 25 years, yet they’re still with us.

  • LowerdPeninsula

    That animation is PRICELESS.

  • AKAM80TheWolf

    [re=558647]leftcoaster[/re]:

    Betty Cocker makes some moist and fluffy cakes.

  • Darkness

    [re=558457]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: snigger . . .

  • Autochthon

    [re=558449]Tommmcatt[/re]: I dunno – I’m gettin’ more of a “Dies Irae” vibe…

  • Imelda_Narco

    can’t it more like the Nancy Pelosi blingee? With fire coming out of his eyes

  • Tim

    God I love blingees. They’re the only useful thing the internets have produced.