Happy Millionth Birthday, Pope Nazi Pedobear!

by Ken Layne

'I'm a Catholic boy, Redeemed through pain, Not through joy.'
What did the evil Emperor of Rape Joseph Ratzinger get for his birthday? An eternity roasting in Hell, plus a cake! We figured we ought get him something, too.

Cakes full of boys!

 
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{ 69 comments }

JMP April 16, 2010 at 3:23 pm

Dammit, I was hoping for an arrest warrant.

GoinGreen April 16, 2010 at 3:24 pm

With pedi-penis popsicles for the bishops who had only raped the “quiet ones”.

Lascauxcaveman April 16, 2010 at 3:24 pm

I always wondered what TinTin would look like if ever got to be 83 years old, and started flashing black/blue/white, over and over again.

The Church of Realism April 16, 2010 at 3:25 pm

Aaaagh!!! Thank God I’m not an epileptic…

rag April 16, 2010 at 3:25 pm

gif seizure

user-of-owls April 16, 2010 at 3:25 pm

[re=558413]JMP[/re]: Dammit, I was hoping for some anti-seizure medicine.

Bostoprov April 16, 2010 at 3:26 pm

Is there something specific I’m supposed to do after that seizure?

JohnnyMeatworth April 16, 2010 at 3:26 pm

well, shit! they don’t make Pope on a Rope anymore….

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article6964554.ece

PsycGirl April 16, 2010 at 3:27 pm

You almost gave me a seizure for the Pope’s birthday. Was that his idea?

magic titty April 16, 2010 at 3:32 pm

In honor of The Church, the cake was Fudgie The Whale from Carvel.

jetjaguar April 16, 2010 at 3:33 pm

So, one thing I miss from Netscape is that you could use the stop button to stop animated gifs.

Hooray For Anything April 16, 2010 at 3:35 pm

Awww…isn’t that sweet, the Archdiocese of New York gave him a 16 year old boy as a present.

jetjaguar April 16, 2010 at 3:36 pm

[re=558421]Bostoprov[/re]: That depends. Can you sit down comfortably right now?

edgydrifter April 16, 2010 at 3:36 pm

Balrog!

JMP April 16, 2010 at 3:36 pm

[re=558431]jetjaguar[/re]: It works in Firefox, too. Now if you’re using IE, I have no idea (and pity you).

Maddow Loves Cox April 16, 2010 at 3:37 pm

I think it’s really horrible that you liberal secular freemason jew homosexual unreal american progressives refer to the man as ‘Ratzinger’. You should show respect to his rank.

So it’s oberrottenfuhrer Ratzinger to you, OK?

That guy fought in a war, he was part of the Greatest Generation, he saw the suffering of prisoners from Dachau first hand. If he was complicit in some of the greatest crimes of the century, well, they were all at it. Times two, of course, what with the whole ‘being a Nazi’ thing. And he killed Mace Windu.

Extemporanus April 16, 2010 at 3:37 pm

After staring at Pope Strobeyrapechildren II for the last ten minutes straight, I can’t decide whether to take off my belt and hang myself with it, or to not take off my belt and choke to death on my own tongue.

Win-win?

JamesMichaelCurley April 16, 2010 at 3:37 pm

[re=558431]jetjaguar[/re]: Works in IE8.

Jim89048 April 16, 2010 at 3:38 pm

[re=558431]jetjaguar[/re]: Escape button works in Firefox, but I think I was too late.

Jukesgrrl April 16, 2010 at 3:38 pm

“I am the God of Hell Fire … and I bring you RATZI!”

FlownOver April 16, 2010 at 3:39 pm

Nice little web-thing youse got there – be a shame if anything happened to it.

It’s Friday, and if youse don’t give us back our Comics Curmudgeon… well, ya never know.

4tehlulz April 16, 2010 at 3:40 pm

DELICIOUS CAKE MUST EAT

Tommmcatt April 16, 2010 at 3:42 pm

That blingee really needs Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in d or Shostakovich’s String Quartet #8 in c minor to be truly effective. Or maybe Manson’s cover of Sweet Dreams>/i>.

NJB April 16, 2010 at 3:43 pm

That insane little psychedelic birthday card could set off epileptic seizures. Yow.

Tommmcatt April 16, 2010 at 3:43 pm

[re=558445]FlownOver[/re]:

He’s on “vacation”. Give him a break until the meds stabilize.

JGabriel April 16, 2010 at 3:44 pm

Time for a “The cake is a lie” reference?

.

Monsieur Grumpe April 16, 2010 at 3:44 pm

The Pope Strobe is bad for my brain.

queeraselvis v 2.0 April 16, 2010 at 3:46 pm

No no, Your Eminence. You’re supposed to blow out the candles, not the acolytes.

sezme April 16, 2010 at 3:47 pm

Assraping children is important for our national security, Vatican experts say…

bureaucrap April 16, 2010 at 3:48 pm

The pope’s cake is going to be one of those giant ones. At the *stroke* of midnight, “Jason”, a 18-year old “altar boy” will jump out of the cake wearing nothing but a banner reading “gauisus natalis, Pontifex!” Then he’ll piss on the Pope’s Pradas. At the pope’s request of course.

honkyman April 16, 2010 at 3:56 pm

Bet he can’t hardly wait to view the vibrating giant penis sculpture in Malta

jetjaguar April 16, 2010 at 3:59 pm

[re=558438]JMP[/re]: YOU LIE! [re=558441]JamesMichaelCurley[/re]: Huh, you’re right. I don’t think it used to though… +1 to IE. [re=558442]Jim89048[/re]: You is also right, but that’s dumb. The stop button is the most intuitive solution. I use chrome, but I don’t see a built in way to stop teh blingees.

Prommie April 16, 2010 at 4:00 pm

[re=558445]FlownOver[/re]: They were pretty quick to act on the poll results, weren’t they?

Where’s the sexing room I asked for, is what I want to know, Comics Curmudgeon, he was alright, shining his spotlight of truth, showing that there are so many many people in the world who do their jobs even worse than I do mine, editorial comic-making guys as well as law-talking-guys, but I can take him or leave him, I wanted a live video sex chat room.

SayItWithWookies April 16, 2010 at 4:02 pm

I sent him a pair of armor-plated underpants so they don’t do to him in prison what he facilitated in church for so long. A few more years and you’da been home free, Ratzi — I’ll bet neither you nor Bernie Madoff thought you’d get so close, did you?

widestanceromancer April 16, 2010 at 4:06 pm

After my third seizure finally subsided, I found myself seeking out a fourth, and a fifth and so on. My neurons haven’t had it this good in years.

Joehoya April 16, 2010 at 4:10 pm

Tea and cake _and_ death.

Asa Hawks April 16, 2010 at 4:10 pm

Well, this’ll make for some interesting nightmares.

GOPCrusher April 16, 2010 at 4:10 pm

I thought Nazi Pope was supposed to be dead by now.

RogueDC April 16, 2010 at 4:17 pm

[re=558461]bureaucrap[/re]: Ratzi: “Meh… too old!”

Extemporanus April 16, 2010 at 4:18 pm

[re=558493]SayItWithWookies[/re]: A similar method was attempted during the Spanish Inquisition:

Phase 1: Collect Iron Maiden Underpants
Phase 2: ?
Phase 3: Repent!

RogueDC April 16, 2010 at 4:21 pm

[re=558527]RogueDC[/re]: Ratzi: “As for the 11 year old boy, also too old!”

I wonder how to translate into latin, “If the field’s got any grass, I’ll pass”

problemwithcaring April 16, 2010 at 4:26 pm

[re=558421]Bostoprov[/re]: That’s not a seizure. It’s clear you need a professional exorcist.

An Outhouse April 16, 2010 at 4:26 pm

Ratzo needs his ass capped and traded.

hoosiermama April 16, 2010 at 4:35 pm

[re=558427]magic titty[/re]: “A whale of a cake for a whale of a pope.” –Tom Carvel.

mustardman April 16, 2010 at 4:38 pm

You gotta put up a warning for that animated picture for any epliptics out there! Yikes!

Pete-O April 16, 2010 at 4:41 pm

Benny the Rat wanted to show all of his devotees that he can have his cake and eat it, too.

Make a wish and blow hard, for a good altar boy is hard to find, but a hard… well, y’know.

Snarkalicious April 16, 2010 at 4:49 pm

[re=558439]Maddow Loves Cox[/re]: “Vee didn’t invade zem. Zey invited us to come ovah. Vee brought cake.”

Words April 16, 2010 at 5:01 pm

[re=558451]NJB[/re]: … and migraines.

The Toot April 16, 2010 at 5:16 pm

Personally, I was hoping for another Pedobear in his Pedovan. I has sad.

zenferret April 16, 2010 at 5:41 pm

So its Pope Palpatine’s birthday huh? Did Cardinal Vader give him the cake?

chascates April 16, 2010 at 5:48 pm

How about the Vatican & it’s entire population move to Jerusalem? Better yet, aren’t Betheleham & Nazareth in ‘occupied’ territory?

leftcoaster April 16, 2010 at 5:59 pm

The cake was in the shape of a smooth, supple bottom of a 9 year old boy.

Briguy April 16, 2010 at 6:23 pm

I did’t get a seizure cuz I’m drunk. Fuck you. It’s Friday.

Smoke Filled Roommate April 16, 2010 at 7:04 pm

You know who else was born in April..

Smoke Filled Roommate April 16, 2010 at 7:09 pm

[re=558647]leftcoaster[/re]: And it was a giant cake–an actual 9 year old boy popped right out of the cake’s asshole and started singing Ratzi’s favorite showtunes!

Smoke Filled Roommate April 16, 2010 at 7:33 pm

[re=558687]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: D’oh, I guess I should read the thing above the picture..

Accordion-o-rama April 16, 2010 at 7:44 pm

[re=558419]rag[/re]: [re=558420]user-of-owls[/re]: [re=558421]Bostoprov[/re]: It’s nice to see so many seizures in a story regarding Dr. Ratz. Maybe some will rub off on him.

(Not really. The longer he’s the public face of the church, the better from my perspective.)

President Beeblebrox April 16, 2010 at 8:08 pm

Needs moar altarboys.

smellyal8r April 16, 2010 at 8:12 pm

[re=558705]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: Oh, you said “PUBLIC” face of the church. I misread it and laughed out loud for a long time.

widget09 April 16, 2010 at 8:18 pm

Was “Panzer Pope” presented with the cake by a nubile young boy? Happy Birthday indeed.

RogueDC April 16, 2010 at 8:39 pm

[re=558715]smellyal8r[/re]: Same… some of my coffee went out the nose and onto the keyboard. Then upon reflection, I realized that Ratzi wouldn’t get pubic hair on his face, you know how picky he is.

I can’t wait until he gets to England and those atheists arrest him. Just for fun they should let him cackle in front of the press going “DIP-LO-MATIC IMM-UN-IT-Y!” like that creep in Lethal Weapon 2. Then Danny Glover could come up from behind, dressed up in a Bobby outfit, pull down his cap, and pull out some handcuffs, declaring “It’s just been revoked!” Epic FTW on Youtube!

Jukesgrrl April 16, 2010 at 9:22 pm

[re=558705]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: “The longer he’s the public face of the church, the better from my perspective.” I hadn’t really thought of that angle before. You have a point. Reverse-PR: it works for me.

Jim89048 April 16, 2010 at 10:11 pm

[re=558733]Jukesgrrl[/re]: I’m not so sure. I mean, reagan has been the public face of the repubs for over 25 years, yet they’re still with us.

LowerdPeninsula April 16, 2010 at 11:57 pm

That animation is PRICELESS.

AKAM80TheWolf April 17, 2010 at 1:19 am

[re=558647]leftcoaster[/re]:

Betty Cocker makes some moist and fluffy cakes.

Darkness April 17, 2010 at 8:45 am

[re=558457]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: snigger . . .

Autochthon April 17, 2010 at 10:42 am

[re=558449]Tommmcatt[/re]: I dunno – I’m gettin’ more of a “Dies Irae” vibe…

Imelda_Narco April 18, 2010 at 12:32 am

can’t it more like the Nancy Pelosi blingee? With fire coming out of his eyes

Tim April 18, 2010 at 1:10 pm

God I love blingees. They’re the only useful thing the internets have produced.

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