Go to the dry cleaners, slag.While Real Americans spent yesterday standing together in government-funded places and overthrowing the government, former Go-Go’s guitarist Nancy Pelosi was busy defending the rights of America’s musicians to get paid more money for their “creativity,” of all things. Ugh, this lady and her pet causes.

Pelosi went to some “advocacy event” hosted by the Recording Academy — makers of the televised witchcraft spectacle the Grammy Awards — to talk about this thing called the Performance Rights Act, which would make radio stations pay some sort of compensation for that musical stuff they play. She said there’s an “army of advocates” in Congress who are working extra-hard to pass this socialists-for-vocalists scheme, because they nothing better to do. Where is America’s “army,” of freedom?

The radio stations are not down with this pro-welfare initiative at all! Because they are already doing enough for Ke$ha and these other music losers by promoting them all the time, for free. And besides, if the Founding Fathers had wanted radio royalties to go to America’s pop stars, they probably would have said something about it in the Constitution so what are we even talking about this for, oh BTW Miss Fancy Nancypants we’re still waiting on those JOBS, Tik Tok. [Informative Factual Note: U.S. terrestrial radio stations currently pay royalties only to the songwriter and music publishing company. And that Ke$ha character is, technically, a songwriter. So she already gets performance royalties.]

In related news, alt-country singer-songwriters U.S. Rep. Mike Conaway and U.S. Rep. Gene Green of Texas have joined hands *across the aisle* to defeat this poorly constructed welfare scheme, which they say will imperil the futures of America’s disadvantaged college radio DJs and bankrupt all of America’s farm-based hip-hop stations. [The Hill]

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  1. Any comment about a record “moving up the charts with a bullet” will invite a visit from the Capitol Police, FBI, RIAA (most feared).

  2. slippery slope. next thing you know, those socialist fascist communistic democrats will be wanting a more equitable income tax structure, or they’ll maybe even want to cut defense spending.

  3. You do realize that if this bill goes thru, every small independent radio station will be forced to stop playing music because they won’t be able to afford the fees. It’s a pretty awful bill for small stations.

  4. DJs and radio networks have every right to be upset because the money is going in the wrong direction.

    Payola to radio = US America
    Paying artists = Socializm!!

  5. [re=558288]Briguy[/re]: The Speaker of the House is just dripping with sex in Ms. Apple’s rendition.

    No one ever said that about Sam Rayburn.

  6. Joining hands across the aisle in order to grab campaign contributions from Clear Channel; such glorious bipartisanship gives David Broder a boner.

  7. This bill should actually please conservatives, especially the Tea Bagger sort, because in doing this, because the inability to make wads of money is killing the incentive of artists like Ke$sha and Justin Beiber to come out with better music. Free things up so they can make more money and they’ll have the incentive to be that much more awesome. Why do you think there’s so many low-selling hipster bands out there? It’s the same reason there’s so many low-selling hipster bands out there, because they don’t see any point in recoding great music if they can’t sell it. Pass this bill and they’ll be doing 8 minute videos with Lady Gaga in no time.

  8. [re=558246]Edsdesk[/re]: If that’s not a Zappa line, it should be.

    [re=558277]gbear[/re]: Pretty good point, and even as a former performing musician, I’m not sold on the idea of shoveling more more money to performers, necessarily. If Ke$hia isn’t making enough scratch to soothe her ego, she should maybe get back on stage and shake her moneymaker a little harder. Most of the moey that performers get to keep comes from their live concert.

    Radio stations can be wildly lucrative businesses, but most aren’t. And the college stations and independents that break new acts (they still do that don’t they?) will suffer greatly from this attempt to squeeze a few more buck from the big stations.

  9. Nice drawring, Lauri – is it one of your works? Now, tell me who the fuck you want to be mad at and I’ll comply – stop pissing in the weeds.

  10. Even after the teabagger protests, that picture of Pelosi as a Go-Go is giving me a serious fit of cognitive dissonance. Having seen her rebuttal to one of Dubya’s speeches, Nancy’s performing ability puts her in the same league as William Hung.

  11. That is another awesome Lauri Apple portrait — in honor of the artist’s beliefs, I will make as many copies of it as I please and enjoy them all for free!

    She’s got the beat!

  12. [re=558241]proudgrampa[/re]: No shit! I guess it’s hard to get a jobs bill going when the real problem is your fellow members of the upper socioeconomic level are moving all the jobs overseas so they can move their entire level that much higher over the rest of us. Nancy will move up with them, of course.

    [re=558246]Edsdesk[/re]: Montana, a great Zappa tune.

    [re=558249]edgydrifter[/re]: [re=558277]gbear[/re]: Clear Channel might complain about the increased costs, but you can bet your ass (and Nancy’s too, for that matter) that the real intent is to run the smaller stations (i.e., Clear Channel’s competition) out of business by increasing costs using the pretence of helping artists no one gives a damn about.

  13. Thanks for getting that “Tik Tok” song stuck in my head, Lauri. And now, just for revenge’s sake, I will type:

    Hey Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind! Hey Mickey! Hey Hey, Hey Mickey!

  14. As an occasional drone at a wee bitty station myself, I look forward to replacing our bumper music with my own arrhythmic clapping and off-key humming of public-domain sea shanties.

  15. [re=558322]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Slap a plaid shirt and some hair gel on her and you’ve got yerself a totally decent crossdressing Ed Grimley, I must say.

  16. Huh. So that explains why the idiot pop starlets get co-writing credits on their hit songs, even when it’s patently obvious they couldn’t string together a verse if their lives depended on it.

    Wonkette, now 88% more servicey!

  17. Only people who do real work like engineers, accountants, lawyers and stock brokers should be paid. All you musicians, artists, writers, etc., just love what you’re doing anyway, so why should you get paid?!?

  18. [re=558304]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: The Copyright law in this country is already riddled with exceptions for small users. They could readily create a hardship exemption to this for small wattage/college stations (if they had the fortitude to do so).

    This particular disconnect is pretty stupid. The focus should really be on insuring that performers get a slice of the royalties the publishers get when the record gets played, since the idea is supposed to be that the station shouldn’t have to pay multiple times for the same performance. But that would require the recording industry to not take advantage of their massively greater power in negotiating with musicians and stations, so it ain’t gonna happen

  19. Was Pelosi the lesbian drummer, the singer who posed in Playboy, the hot blond coke head guitarist, the pixieish coke head guitarist, or the punkish coke head bass player?

  20. [re=558249]edgydrifter[/re]: No doubt an exemption WILL be made for Clear Channel. The Democrats will present a bill that applies only to radio stations that come into being after 2014, with all existing stations grandfathered out of the requirements. It will pass, NancyPants will give a party, Hopey will use a thousand day-glo pens to sign it (one for every Grammy winner), and everyone will dance. Rahm will be in another room telling the recording industry how Hopey secured them another income stream and then telling the radio stations how Hopey enabled them to keep their profits safe from grasping Commies who insist on calling themselves “artists.”

    But the real question is: What does Taylor Swift think? That’s all that counts.

  21. [re=558300]Hooray For Anything[/re]: So how long do you think it will be before the record companies realize the profits they made in the 1990’s were an aberration due to high CD sales and were historically unusual and unlikely to repeat? Sure, one can make up wildly inaccurate figures using flawed methodology based on P2P internet downloads, but bad data does not justify this legislation or any other legislative schemes. If the labels want to be more profitable they need to reanalyze their entire business model, not just add band-aids to their current business model that anger people.

  22. No time for a war crimes investigation, but she’s got time for this shit. Most irrelevant issue for congress to get their knickers in a knot over since steroids in baseball.

  23. [re=558249]edgydrifter[/re]: Clear Channel needs a break like that BADLY. They overleveraged themselves in a big way and are in the process of being crushed by the debt they took on buying EVERY FREAKING STATION IN THE US and making it suck. So my heart totally bleeds for them, etc.

  24. [re=558401]Berkeley Bear[/re]: VERY good point.

    BTW, Ke$ha looks dirty. Not dirty as in sexy and fun, but dirty as in she could kill a cat with her physical filthiness.

  25. We need a single payer Lady Gaga system. Sure, Lady Gaga would make less money and maybe there would be longer waits to see her, but everyone needs to see Lady Gaga at some point in their life.

  26. [re=558808]TVarmy[/re]: Seeing Ke$ha on SNL made me realize that for as much as I cannot stand Lady Gaga, Ke$ha makes Lady Gaga look like Maria Callas.

  27. Okay, reading through all these comments, i noticed something, and its something else that is completely irrelevant to the issue. people are blaming the democrats and saying that they’;; pass the bill just to line their pockets. there are a couple problems with that though. first, this issue has been going on for YEARS, the isn’t something the democratic party just picked up out of the blue. The Big 4 have been pissing and moaning about this for a while now, so stop ripping on the democrats for that. Oh, by the way, Ke$ha sucks, and Lady Gaga can’t sing, she uses auto-tune on all her recordings.

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