today in journalism

Newsweek Forgets To Put Image Of Captain America Fighting Commies On Patriotic Cover

Don’t worry about your taxes, America! The Newsweek claims we are “back,” as in “who got lotsa money, we the Americas do, fap fap.” Attend the most exquisite restaurants and order only the choicest hares, tonight! Bathe in condor blood filtered through gold doubloons! BOOM! [Barry Ritholz]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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  • Snarko Marx

    Is that magazine cover going to fight Rocky Balboa?

  • ManchuCandidate

    Canada City scoffs at your arrogance US America. Being smug about not getting sucked into the fizkal vortex you created IS OUR JOB (in the case of many Canada City folks who lost their actual paying jobs in this mess, the only one they have.)

  • OzoneTom

    Sarah’s got America’s back!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Newsweek, however, remains obscure, unread and dying.

  • Katydid
  • chaste everywhere

    America’s back is wide and boldly stry-ped, like a Huckaboy.

  • Oblios Cap

    That cover got Colbert all excited.

    On to the next bubble!

  • magic titty

    Fine. Now work on the Knicks.

  • thesheriffisnear

    Needz moar Lee Iacocca

  • V572625694

    [re=557134]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Newsweek‘s a WaPo spinoff, what do you expect–journalistic excellence?

  • NJB

    But what about America’s FRONT?? Hmmm???

  • Suds McKenzie

    My Sir-mix-Alot Stock is going to go through the roof.

  • V572625694

    It’s the damndest thing how many US Americans are still attached to these awful magazines with their shitty “trend” stories used to stitch together three-of-anything in a vain attempt to make old news new. Plus editors in New York just rewrite field stuff (or stuff they crib from real sources) shamelessly. At least the local newspapers have coupons for discounts at the grocery store. And “Mary Worth.”

  • Serolf Divad

    Thank God Republicans managed to kill TARP, the Stimulus, and Health Care Reform! Otherwise that Newsweek cover would be all: “America is Finished!”

  • Hooray For Anything

    Great, now I feel like an even bigger loser for being unemployed

  • An Outhouse

    YOU – ESS – AYE!!!!
    YOU – ESS – AYE!!!!
    YOU – ESS – AYE!!!!
    YOU – ESS – AYE!!!!

  • chaste everywhere

    [re=557146]V572625694[/re]: But, but . . . isn’t Wonkette a WaPo spinoff, and doesn’t it soothe us daily with journalistic excresence? Or a WaPo pissoff, maybe?

  • freakishlystrong

    Well, finally! Dubya’s brilliant economic policies finally paid off.

  • JoeMac

    [re=557156]Serolf Divad[/re]: Yeah really you would think the liberal media would have said that the Obama stimulus plan was working and helping to put people back to work and fix the mess. Oh wait a minute the liberal media is on a halucination brought about in Rush Limbaugh’s head by too many drugs. Nevermind.

  • Mr Blifil

    MAGAZINES ARE BACK ON YOUR MAXIPAD

  • comicbookguy

    Boner was right, this is Armageddon.

    America is back? HELL NO YOU CAN’T!

  • thesheriffisnear

    [re=557154]V572625694[/re]: I’m still trying figure out why they publish weekly newsmags in a breaking news, internet era but, then again, they still market TAB.

  • eclecticbrotha

    Newsweak with the typo fail. that should say “America’s BLACK!” Now that its settled, where’s my white women at?

  • GoinGreen

    [re=557157]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Yer not America – yer a socialism, uh – a communism, uh – a fascism!! Real America IS BACK, BABY!!! (Rich white guys are getting RICHER!)

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=557141]magic titty[/re]: Fine. Now work on the Knicks.

    At this point, I think on G_d can help the Knicks. And it’s pretty clear he doesn’t want to.

  • x111e7thst

    Like it or not America is Back.

  • V572625694

    [re=557162]chaste everywhere[/re]: I expect teh funnie, and am often rewarded. Plus actionably scandalous lies about Peggy Noonnanny. Those are sweeet.

  • coolcatdaddy

    I’m sorry – I can’t read this story unless Newsweek puts it in a trendy iPad app with spinning 3d avatars that I can touch and spin around as I have a drink celebrating the death of print media.

    Or they could at least come up with a cover that wouldn’t hurt my eyes when I glance at it.

  • Mr Blifil

    YES Newsweek Americans LIKE turning around and rolling over to receive the economys. EXCEPTIONALISM is exceptionally REMARKABLE.

  • nappyduggs

    [re=557150]NJB[/re]:

    ‘Tis a Fupa. Prosperity!!!1!1

  • thesheriffisnear

    [re=557200]coolcatdaddy[/re]: That cover is the newsprint equivalent of the Denver Broncos throwback unis. Now I’ve got a migraine.

    http://cache4.asset-cache.net/xc/91864147.jpg?v=1&c=IWSAsset&k=2&d=77BFBA49EF878921CC759DF4EBAC47D0969540A1D0646F5A1A0570ADEACEB73913D796B560E6A7F6E30A760B0D811297

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=557182]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: “on” is the new streetwise, hip term for “only”, BTW. (You heard it here first.)

  • taylormattd

    [re=557127]Snarko Marx[/re]: Um no. It’s going to fight Ivan Drago. Shuh.

  • Hooray For Anything

    [re=557181]GoinGreen[/re]: It’s always easier to declare a recession over when you make six figures and haven’t been laid off. I’d like for them to get a counter point from someone in Ohio or Detroit (or me) about their opinion on how America is doing

  • Tim

    I thought the skittles car brought us back … I don’t see any mention of it.

  • Extemporanus

    That cover is very slimming — one look at it, and I want to throw up.

  • TGY

    The first thing we do, let’s kill all the bankers.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=557146]V572625694[/re]: Maybe the Post can send some of that Kathleen Parker magic their way. There’s nothing like a conservative with the occasional dose of moderation to spell great thinking. Or better yet, just get Marc Thiessen to write for them, and it’ll make every other Newsweek piece look brilliant by comparison.

  • proudgrampa

    When a mag like Newsweek has a cover like that, it usually signals the END of a trend. With the Foreclosure Holocaust just around the corner (foreclosures up 19% in March), it’s gonna start looking really ugly in the streets.

    I would be vewwy vewwy caweful about believing in this recovery.

    Just saying.

  • Snarko Marx

    [re=557226]taylormattd[/re]: I think Newsweek fought Ivan Drago in IV but helped Apollo Creed fight Rocky in I.

  • Anonymous Office Zombie

    YES!!! Like a manic coke-addict roaring out of the gutter, America’s BACK!… with absolutely no memory, remorse, or intention of mending it’s ways as it speeds full-throttle toward it’s next doomsday.

    LET’S DO THIS THING, U.S.A.!!!

  • Hooray For Anything

    [re=557262]proudgrampa[/re]: Unemployment claims went up again too. Yet Bernake just testified to Congress about how awesome things are and how awesome it’ll be to start worrying about that deficit.

  • mustardman

    Good to see the Bush recovery plan kickin in!

  • mustardman

    [re=557291]Hooray For Anything[/re]: I get it, you don’t like Bernake. Release the Kraken!

  • jus_wonderin

    Hey, are those the bars for the cells that house the criminals who caused the entire meltdown?

    Oh no, those guys are free, got government bailouts and are making profits on a market that is rising from the crash they created.

    I guess that was actually a good plan. Win. And win. And, yet…another win.

  • OhBoy

    At least they put the Stevens headline on the Left and the Hate from the Right headline on the Right. Clever….or maybe we are looking at America’s back as she slides into the abyss….

  • JMP

    Now Jim, the real Captain America primarily fought (and fights) Nazis; the “Commie Smasher” was the racist wignut 50s Cap.

  • pirate king of the Jews

    I’m having the kitten burgers and panda fries.

  • desertwind

    What’s the schedule for all these Ameros to trickle down to me?