SmearedImportant news about old what’s-her-name, America’s Dentist: “Lawyer Orly Taitz has been told she won’t be allowed to speak at a Tea Party tax day rally in Pleasanton on Thursday because other candidates planning to be on the platform basically don’t want to be seen with her.” Why not? She’s great at old sex, which is the whole point of the tea party. (That and LYNCHING.)

Apparently some of the other “entertainers” — Republican candidates like Carly Fiorina and Chuck Devore, who have expressed interest in winning the offices they’re running for — also didn’t care to be seen in public with Taitz (who, when we last heard from her, was busy asking the UN to protect her from Obama’s army of Kenyan vandals). Orly’s already venting her wrath, it looks like: on her Livejournal she says she’s defriended Devore on the Facebooks and asked her two supporters not to vote for him. Harsh!

Dr. Taitz, MD also made bloggings about two other teabagger fuckfests she’s supposed to attend today, which will keep her from filing lawsuits in all of America’s courts, constantly, for at least a few hours. To help spread the word about her two appearances, she’s asked the John Birch Society street team to pass out flyers on her behalf. This will strengthen the Constitution. [OC Register]

With additional reporting by Lauri Apple, ha ha, because she wrote a post about this, too, and we just pasted in her second and third paragraphs, PULITZER for everybody.

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  1. awww you cant disavow Orly now…she is the foundation of your movement…you cant say teabagger with having some oily taint in your mouth!!!!

  2. oh how the worm begins to turn…when will the chorus girl ever learn.
    oh how the worm begins to turn…when will the chorus girl ever learn.
    oh how the worm begins to turn…when will the chorus girl ever learn.

  3. I think the egregious thing about this whole Orly Taintz sicheeation is that they call her opponent, Damon Dunn an ex-NFLer!! The jackass had 1 catch for 6 yds and played 3 plays in 3 years – for 3 different teams!! Oh, and she sux too!

  4. [re=556921]WestEdEd[/re]:

    Bachman – Fuck (cause she is crazy hot, with those wild googling peepers of hers)
    Taintz – Kill (really, no explanation needed for this one)
    Palin – Marry (cause she is makin’ CRAZY bank right now by fleecing these illiterate, racist fucks!!)

  5. [re=556901]ph7[/re]: Except the teabaggers have nothing but crazed wackos. They’ve got no problem with her frivolous lawsuits; they just don’t like her for losing.

  6. Fuck, I actually clicked on her “live blog” and got a pop-up that the “bowser is old”, oh BROWSER is old. Fuck you Orly, leave my browser outta this.

  7. Oily Taints, Palin and Bachmann should not be married to anyone, no one should be “killing” anyone, unless they’re al queda terrorists, and no one should be having relations with these three things, either. A good idea is to encourage Taints, Palin and Bachmann to retire, effective immediately, and never appear in public or say anything in public ever again.

  8. It was clearly a miscalculation on her part not to inform them that she’d be perfectly happy to show up wearing a sheep suit with red glowy eyes. No LEDs necessary.

  9. I know I’ve said it before, but that’s not a barrier given the inconsequential nature of the post, so here goes: “Nancy Sinatra LOOKS LIKE SHIT!”

  10. [re=556925]Cape Clod[/re]: Leave poor Margaret out of this–Orly is *clearly* straight from the Black Lodge, prolly wallowing in a vat of creamed corn as we speak.

  11. OK, couldn’t resist clicking on John Birch Society Street Team.

    Orly has married some dude named Esquire.
    Street Team is notably lacking crazy bitches.

  12. [re=556932]freakishlystrong[/re]: [re=556947]Hemp Dogbane[/re]: I got the same browser message, and then SAV Autoprotect kicked in and disabled trojan.sasfis

    I never got to see the Bircher thing, which I regret (screen shot, plz?), but at least I’m not infected with some Oily Taint Virus.

  13. She’s great at old sex, which is the whole point of the tea party.

    I think you’ve really hit on something there, Jim. The point of the tea party is that it provides baby-boomers a place to meet, greet, and get sweaty funky with other olds. A bit like raves were in the ninties for the Gen Xers, only with Metamucil and Viagra instead of XTC.

    Kiss the rain, baby.

  14. “Orly Taitz, MD & Realtor”

    I realize she’s only a dentist, but I like the sound of that. Sounds like money.

    Once she has exhausted the possibilities of her dada political theatre act, she can star in a reality show in which she talks people into questionable cosmetic surgery and/or sells them a questionable house. Since she likes the showy fashions, we could work in a couple of flamboyant gheys as on-screen fashion and surgery consultants.

    She could start with a lipo-and-McMansion deal for octomom. I smell big ratings, crossover ratings, baby.

  15. [re=556956]magic titty[/re]: I know, right? Newell writes one graf, Apple writes two, and BAM, it’s up there with Newell’s, well, I don’t know if you’d call it a byine exactly, but his name’s on it. And you just know Layne is stingy with those famous Wonkette bonus checks if writers don’t come in with enough, ok, let’s call ’em “bylines.”


  16. Being on the Street Team for the John Birch Society must be a killer job. I had a friend on the Weezer street team in high school and he got free tickets to shows and got to hang out with the band right after their 2000 comeback. I would LOVE to go to special John Birch champaign room events and hang out with Oily Taintz.

  17. [re=556929]GoinGreen[/re]: exactly! plus if you marry palin, you could maybe end up banging bristol, or even starting the cycle all over again, whereby you kill palin, bang bristol, and marry willow.

  18. Um, Wonkette, donchathink you oughta take off the link to the site with the virus? Not every Wonketteer has the latest and greatest anti-virus software, probably. Or don’t you love us anymore?

  19. In the bizzaro world we occupy, the Tea Party’s puttin’ the Haitz on the Taitz can only add to her credibilty. Thanks, tea bagger fux.

    In other world news:

    To press her claim that Barry is a closet-Kenyan and that alligators live in the sewers of Manhattan, our mad, yet bad, dentista of Laguna Niguel tried to intervene in the Red States’ attorneys general lawsuit to overturn the federal socialist/terrorist/baby-killer Healthcare Reform Act. But Judgey, he say no.

  20. [re=556961]southern mark smith[/re]: 24 older white guys, almost all have middle initials except Nelson Bunker Hunt. Picture about half of them coming down the sidewalk toward you at once, all in their JBS t-shirts. First thought: at least the Klan doesn’t have a Street Team. Second thought: Run!

  21. [re=556982]eclecticbrotha[/re]: I’d like a Crist-Marco-Bachmann 3-way. I believe that would be called a Greek salad with some crazy on the side.

  22. [re=557007]Hemp Dogbane[/re]: AAAGGHHH! I think I’ve had that dream before. And I start bouncing to escape them, but then I bounce too high and can’t stop.

    at least the Klan doesn’t have a Street Team — a distinction without a difference?

  23. Where is her long form birth certificate? Have you seen it anywhere? Combined with that heavy unsophisticated eastern european accent. Smells fishy to me.

  24. Wow… liberals and their racist lies.

    I guess you morons forget about people like Senator Byrd (Democrat, member of the KKK)

    Jesse Jackson – “I want to cut his nuts off” about Obama

    Democrat Senators organized the record Senate filibuster of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Included among the organizers were several prominent and well known liberal Democrat standard bearers including:
    – Robert Byrd, current senator from West Virginia
    – J. William Fulbright, Arkansas senator and political mentor of Bill Clinton
    – Albert Gore Sr., Tennessee senator, father and political mentor of Al Gore. Gore Jr. has been known to lie about his father’s opposition to the Civil Rights Act.
    – Sam Ervin, North Carolina senator of Watergate hearings fame
    – Richard Russell, famed Georgia senator and later President Pro Tempore

    Maybe my history book was flawed, but Im pretty sure Lincoln was a Republican, and most Democrats were FOR slavery.

    Liberal dumb asses

  25. [re=557306]Robespierre[/re]: One more time: We don’t go down to the bus station and slap the dicks out of your mouth when you’re working do we?

    Don’t feed the trolls, I guess.

  26. [re=556921]WestEdEd[/re]: Hmmm. If I were to fuck Orly, I’m sure I’d hear something like “Don’t pull out! Will you let me feenish!” Palin’s voice would kill any erection. Bachmann’s obviously insane so sex with her would violate Ryan’s Law (“Never fuck anybody more crazy than you are.”) It’s not worth the jail time to kill them and I’ve been married for 36 years and not looking to change that now.

    So, IGNORE is the only option, really.

  27. [re=557306]Robespierre[/re]: Hey, the racist troll is back! And peddling the same tired, discredit “the Democrats are the real racists” crap that so many of them have said. Don’t you realize we’ve heard this shit before? It’s very, very old, and it’s bullshit.

    -Yes, Sen. Byrd was a member of the KKK, a long time ago, and has since refudiated it and apologized repeatedly.
    -The filibuster was organized by Southern Democrats, who all jumped ship after the Civil Rights Act passed, and are now Republicans.
    -And in 1860, the Democrats were the conservatives, while the Republicans were liberals. That changed later, and the people who now celebrate treason-in-defense-of-slavery (like you, in an earlier thread) are all Republicans.

    Now kindly fuck off, or at least try to be slightly original in your trollery.

  28. [re=557306]Robespierre[/re]: You are so persuasive. But your list missed Nelson Bunker Hunt, member Texas Horse Racing Hall of Fame. And, it almost goes without saying, Great American.

  29. [re=557306]Robespierre[/re]: Ive got an idea…. why dont all you pussy ass, fuck nut liberal bitches do everyone a favor, and take your yankee bitch ass to a tall cliff and jump the fuck off? Or are you too busy fucking your lesbian mom in the ass these days? Nothing but a bunch of pussy ass bitches who are too scared to do anything but sit behind a computer and act like a tough guy, when in reality you would rather suck-off your gay boy friend while taking it in the ass from an AIDS infested San Fran fag.

    You people are nothing but chicken shit cowards. How about you nut up and stop acting like your coward leader for once? Apoligizing and all that bull shit for being a strong nation who is always the first to help out when disaster hits or other socialist douche bags like Hitler pull shit like whats going on in this country.

    Mindless fucktard sheep

  30. [re=557609]Robespierre[/re]: no no, you misspelled it. It’s TRUCK NUTZ, not fuck nut.

    My my, I do believe the wonketteers made the troll mad! And what a special, double-troll-present – he’s not only a racist, but a homophobe! Hey, troll, thanks for your last post. It’s really helpful when you just spew the hate speech that we know you’re really thinking all day. It’s when you try to be logical (or what passes for logical with you, a blend of conflicting ideas which somehow all fit together perfectly when Beck waves his magic menthol-eye-cream wand) that you get really muddled and confused.

    Seems everything’s funny to you, Wonket!

  31. [re=557609]Robespierre[/re]: Hahaha. Pottymouth troll is a pottymouth.

    Now if he could get some of the funny in there, he’d fit right in.

  32. [re=557609]Robespierre[/re]: the word is spelled “apologizing.” And we’re not “a strong nation who is always the first to help,” we are a strong nation “which” is always prepared to help, or a strong nation “that” is always prepared to help.

    As for “…when disaster hits or other socialist douche bags like Hitler pull shit like whats going on in this country.”

    I can’t help you with that.

  33. [re=557609]Robespierre[/re]: Not bad. Maybe flesh out the second paragraph a little. Keep that distinctive in-your-face style. Don’t listen to the all-caps suggestion. It’s a trick.

  34. [re=557609]Robespierre[/re]: Hey, dickhead! I was facing off with the North Koreans before you were born so kindly cool it with the “coward” bullshit. I would be happy to kick your ass at any location you choose to name. So, wash the Cheetos residue off your penis, pull up your sweat pants and contact your travel agent.

  35. “Maybe my history book was flawed, but Im pretty sure Lincoln was a Republican, and most Democrats were FOR slavery.”

    That was a long time ago, and most of the Dixycrat Racists have long ago switched sides. Nowadays the one-time party of Lincoln has turned into the party of Jefferson Davis. If slavery in some form is brought back, it is the Jeff Davis Reptilian Party which will do it.

    Not that I necessarily have a high opinion of their opposing team, the Demonic party, but I think they are slightly less dangerous to ME.

    Zhu Bajie, American in China

  36. [re=557306]Robespierre[/re]: Surely you realize that your namesake was a liberal and a leftist? Rightist in the French Revolution were all monarchists.

  37. [re=557609]Robespierre[/re]: Shocking that the racist also hates gay people; though you’re not even using code words now. I believe there are people here who like sucking off their gay boyfriends, and good for them.

    You also apparently haven’t the post a little below this. Newsflash: Obama did not apologize for being a strong nation, and it takes an incredibly moronic misreading of his statement to claim that.

    Then you make no sense with this: “other socialist douche bags like Hitler” – uh, Hitler was a fascist, the exact opposite of a socialist, and hated socialists. Learn some history, moron. How stupid are you, exactly?

  38. [re=557609]Robespierre[/re]: Ha ha ha! I’m your worst nightmare, weirdo: Southern, white, suburban, Christian, married to a veteran, a gun owner and a liberal.

    Can you do me a favor, though? I was endlessly entertained by the videos of one “Skoal Rebel” person (but I believe by spelling it correctly, I misspelled it). Unforch, he seems to be missing nowdays. I loved him so much! It was like performance art!

    So would you please finish up that can of spray paint and make some videos? Por favor? Let us know where to find them and be sure to include all that shit you said up there. I’m serious, I would SUBSCRIBE to your youtubes channel.

    Merci! That’s French for thank you!

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