We know. We know you did not sleep last night for the same reason we didn’t: Mike Huckabee still hasn’t made a decision about running for president in 2012. Even though it is still early 2010, what’s the damn holdup? Some of us are trying to max out on donations here! Let’s see what is written on the HuckPac blog, called “Blogs.”
“Janet and I are choosing to split our time between Arkansas, Florida and New York to better accommodate our busy travel schedule and personal business. This was a personal decision not a political one.
Politically, I have consistently made it clear that my current focus is on the 2010 elections and HuckPAC’s mission to elect conservative Republicans around the country. That should be obvious to any political reporter – considering HuckPAC’s strong involvement with candidates around the country, our contributions and our nationwide volunteer network.
It is ridiculous for someone to try and read something into this decision. I think it’s foolish for political pundits to assume residency in Florida is an indication on my political intentions. As I have repeatedly said, no decision has been made about my political future – and none will be made until after the mid-term elections.
Only the Lord knows what my future holds and He hasn’t told me yet – so I’m positive He hasn’t told any political reporters.”
Jeebus, it appears, is still trying to negotiate some concessions with the various candidates. (Except Mitt Romney, who is like Jewish??)
We don’t know what he is talking about with Florida. There must have been some rumors there that he was moving to Florida to gay-sex up Charlie Crist. Well, just remember: all rumors are true, otherwise they wouldn’t be rumors.
[HuckPac]
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GAH! That fucking photo. Of all of the disturbing Wonkette photos, this is the one that makes me smash my puter screen every damn time. Gory. Would you please use one of the hi-larious Santorum family photos from now on in place of the fucking unsettling Huckabee family photo? Please save us from teh insanity!!1!1!
Oh, Huck, too bad you’re God didn’t tell you to not ever make that photo public, (too bad for you anyway, I laff every time I see it).
I always think of the Cowsills.
I guess God has a hard time talking to him in between his stuffing his fat face and him lying about quotes he gave.
I will never tire of that picture. Here’s to Merka and the Lards ‘n Stripes.
“Only the Lord knows what my future holds and He hasn’t told me yet – so I’m positive He hasn’t told any political reporters.”
Does Mista Huck believe every diety who swears not to commit divine news leaks? And that God is a man? On 2 counts, not qualified to be president.
Huck’s campaign slogan will be “Fried Dough in every pot!”
Romney isn’t Jewish, he’s Moribund.
I want to start a PAC and call it FukkOFF.
That photo’s caption should be “we’re about to enjoy this delicious dog.”
Too much Golden Corral.
Does anyone else find that HuckPAC sounds vaguely dirty? Jesus might not like it when Mike is caught HuckPacking someone who’s not his wife.
So if Jesus tells you to run for office, but then he also tells someone else to run for the same office, what is he up to? Just staging a cock-fight for his own sick pleasure? Or is he trying to teach you a valuable lesson about how to lose and then write a book and host a talk show on FOX? Jesus is so wise, sometimes I just want to touch him all over, and pat his wise, firm buttocks.
That poor dog was ate right after the picture was taken.
“all rumors are true, otherwise they wouldn’t be rumors.” Didn’t Ed Meese say that?
Love seeing fat people in Auschwitz uniforms.
Romney is a Utah Jew…I think they are known within the faith as “Dyanetics”. They worship holey undergarments, as I understand it.
That cop-killer Huckles released should use that “Jesus told me to” shtick, then President Huckabee will pardon him.
That is one happy fucking Cocker Spaniel. Probably glad he doesn’t have to wear a hideous red sweater or a striped shirt with elbow patches.
It’s true that stripes make you look thinner.
[re=556810]freakishlystrong[/re]:
I had to look that up.
http://home.comcast.net/~bubblegumusic/cowsillmilk.jpg
I guess if you just follow what God tell you to do, you can abdicate all responsibilty for your actions. We had that in the previous administration. I don’t think we need to see a repeat of that.
[re=556831]madtowngooner[/re]: Looks like they’ve all been sentenced to fat camp…
[re=556827]iburl[/re]: Rozanne Barr, a Jew from Utah, called them ‘the Nazi Amish.’
[re=556830]PabaBritannica[/re]: She’s not happy, she’s struggling to breathe because Ms. Huck is chocking her.
Obvs, 2012 Huckabee Campaign slogan = “A Double-Down in Every Pot!” http://www.observer.com/files/article/kfc_doubledown.jpg
He thinks God cares. Neither do I, for that matter.
The Lord is getting ready to tell the Huckster to come out of the closet. Janet will be getting the house in Arkansas, Huckster will go to Florida only to break Charlie Crist’s heart, because 2012 is going to be the year of HuckPac/PlentyPac !
Hey, Huck! Who gives a ___________! (You can fill in the blank).
the missus looks to be the thinest with the daughter…i wonder if the mission impossible theme plays whenever he attempts to have sex.
Seems to me that Huckabee is a too long Mel Brooks sketch, and no one can find the hook. Sweet baby Jeebus reach out with your shepherd’s staff, puhleeeez.
Please, not again. It was fun the first time (remember the Huckabee Forums?), but it’s just going to be a bore the second time around.
Nothing like a steaming plate of HuckPAC to get me going in the morning.
“Huck” should be the new term for barf, horf, or upchuck. Ie; I hucked up my breakfast when I saw this photo. Pass it around!
[re=556821]Patty Dumpling[/re]: “Just staging a cock-fight for his own sick pleasure?”
Yes. See also, Israel/Palestine.
“Here, hold my beer. I’m going to tell all these guys that this small strip of shitty desert is theirs, alone. Let’s see how many of them kill each other instead of moving somewhere else that isn’t as shitty.”
Well, that shoots that “vertical stripes” theory in the ass. I guess their only hope is that the “Jeebus loves the fats too” theory holds true.
[re=556818]MMS[/re]: [re=556824]CrunchyKnee[/re]: [re=556830]PabaBritannica[/re]: [re=556838]JMP[/re]: Speaking of the Huckabees and our canine pals: in case you’ve never heard this, have a gander at this fucked up little tidbit: http://www.newsweek.com/id/78241, in which his son (the super-size one) hangs a dog in a tree at summer camp where he worked as a counsellor. Can’t wait to see what Christian hijinks the Santorum munchkins come up with in a year or two!
pretty sure i saw that picture on awkwardfamilyphotos already. also, i’m fairly certain that not that long ago i heard huckabee on NPR talking about preventative measures for healthcare i.e educating people on the dangers involved in not eating right. hello, mr. pot? yeah, kettle on line 2.
I think it’s time for Wonkette to get its own PAC. FapPAC?
The dog is smilin’ cuz missus huck is rubbing his balls.
We don’t know what he is talking about with Florida. There must have been some rumors there that he was moving to Florida
Rumors no more. Ex-Governor Tiny formally declared residency and registered to vote in Florida, aka The Diaspora State!
http://www.arkansasbusiness.com/article.aspx?aID=121398.54928.133539
There was a collective sigh of relief here in Arkansas when we learned the Blubbernor and his vicious harpy spouse had left the building.
Two down, about two million to go.
He’s moved to Florida and registered to vote: http://www.nwfdailynews.com/news/county-28001-walton-mike.html#slComments
During a conversation about American politics, I once pulled that photo up on my computer during a dinner with a group of normally svelte French people just outside Paris. Would that I’d captured THAT reaction on video.
Stripes have a slimming effect, but not that many stripes.
I love this picture. That goddamned dog kills me every time!
I heart Huckabees.
[re=556874]plowman[/re]:
“His wife is registered as optional, meaning she had not selected a political party.”
…or the dog is first in Huck’s affections?
Remind me which one tortured the dog at Boy Scout camp? The red haired one looks sly. The big boy in the middle looks like it would be way too much work to actually catch and kill an animal.
[re=556858]Norbert[/re]: Based on my camp experience with Boy Scouts, I wonder if this was a common occurrence. I mean, we definitely did used to launch firewood with a crude trebuchet into other’s tents. Doing something like it with a stray dog doesn’t seem beyond some of the people I knew then.
[re=556809]F*T*S*[/re]: Needs moar pinstripes.
[re=556820]JMP[/re]: Or who was not of the same species.
(wife flips on kitchen light) “Mike! Have you been eating butter-flavored Crisco all night?” “The Lard told me to!”
The Huck Family–headed to an all-you-can-eat buffet near you!
Nice barbershop octet.
Hey Huck, the Lord came to me and conveyed this message: if he intended for you to be a big deal it would have happened by now. He also wondered where you got the money to have a busy travel itinerary, why you persisted in having quite so many ugly children, and moreover made inquiries as to why you feel it necessay to be quite such the raging douchebag in his name. He concluded by having a snicker with me about your little problem releasing murdering rapists from jail, chortling as he ascended back to his throne in the sky: “nice one, you stoopid fat fucking gaybo.”
You know who else wore stripes?
NO, goddamnit, the Beach Boys!
Godwin’s Law doesn’t always apply…
[re=556817]Buzz Feedback[/re]: Mittens has already started his own: FudgePAC.
What is this? Is this a Wal-Mart ad for a sale on retro, Kingston Trio loser-wear?
It looks like a Fat Farm reunion and they all fell off the wagon, except for the young gal there, who hasn’t lived long enough to get as porcine as the rest of ‘em. Either that, or she’s got bulimia. Or maybe she’s allergic to corn dogs.
Wait! Is the Mom Unit strangling that puppy?!?! Guess dog-torture is a family activity.
Some are called to greatness, some have a bucket of KFC thrust upon them.
[re=556874]plowman[/re]: Did not register to vote. He registered a “domecile”, which could be anything from a fat camp to a Mickey D’s.
[re=556966]DDD[/re]: Win.
[re=556830]PabaBritannica[/re]: And doggo doesn’t realize that cockers go great with cheese fries.
Is that a hot air balloon in the back row?
God, I love that pic–cracks me up every time. Although you can’t tell what sex the dog is because it’s not in a barbershop quartet shirt or a red lady zip-up thing. Why didn’t they think of that?
He’s wondering if he can stand all the years people will call him “Fuckabee!”
[re=556977]Mr Blifil[/re]: Always remember: “He Who sits in the heavens laughs them to scorn!”
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