The POLITICO did something fun and funny today: they asked John McCain to elaborate on his famous recent assertion, “I never considered myself a maverick.” How would John McCain react? Would he get Visibly Irritated? (This has nothing to do with the video above. Sometimes your Wonkette just likes to revisit Actual Pinnacles of Comedy, especially with Ol’ Walnuts.)
John McCain — who built his political persona and his 2008 presidential campaign around the claim that he’s a “maverick” — told Newsweek recently: “I never considered myself a maverick.”
When POLITICO asked McCain about the contradiction at the Capitol this week, the Arizona Republican grew visibly irritated and snapped: “I’ve been called a thousand things. It’s absolutely ridiculous.”
He said 48 percent of the homeowners in his state are underwater on their mortgages. He said he’s always “done what’s best for my state and the nation.” Then he said it again, adding, “People can consider me whatever they want.”
And then he darted into the Senate chamber without explaining himself further.
We can consider him whatever we want? Finally!
John McCain is a Dragon.
[POLITICO]
{ 103 comments }
John McCain is the smoke monster.
He’s really a Whig, but their endorsements are really scarce.
He’s a feminine hygiene product AND a dessert topping!
His comment about nearly half of Arizona being (financially) underwater is a propos of what? That he’s going to hide in his room until it blows over?
John McCain is Panamanian strongman Juan McCain. Always and forever. And WALNUTS! Also.
And the empowerer of the screechy-voiced Snowbilly, which wipes out all the good will he earned for saying the Confederate flag was a symbol of racism.
John McCain is Sasquatch
He should start with Prozac. If that doesn’t work, try Paxil.
Or…John McCain is a-draggin’ his miserable mummified corpse around through the sands and concrete malls of Arizona.
If only some ancient Egyptian cobra deity would swallow him for setting loose the zombie Palin.
Chops McDouchebag.
Crank old man is cranky.
Kevlar burrito. Always and forever.
John McCain
I doubt McCain can “dart” anywhere.
Politico: Could John McCain be a Maverick? His father, um, actually John spoke out on his behalf.
Walnuts: John McCain is not a Maverick. He may be a liar, a lousy naval officer and aviator, a bad husband, an idiot, a Maverick, but he is not a porn star!
The Rat
Walnuts. You’re a sour grape.
McCain’s irrelevance must really be written on the wall now, with even his biggest media cheerleaders turning on him.
However, according to the Politico, the Politico’s criticism of John McCain is good news for John McCain.
Why is he hitting on MILFs with little kids in a grocery store? He has a formaldehyde-stabilized GMILF princess with infinity beers at home fer chrissakes.
John McCain is a Pasty Old White Dude.
He grows more visibly irritated by the day. Also, I thought Arizona was kinda desert-like so how come houses are under water there? And what about their new anti-Mexican law that make it illegal to be Mexican? So many mysteries.
John McCain is made of dustbunnies and lithium.
John McCain is JarJar Binks. Except older and bald.
it’s the return of one of my favorite ’08 campaign moments.
John McCain is the only snack with 60% less fat than potato chips.
For the benefit of future historians that may be reading these comments at the Library of Congress in a few decades, here’s a guide to some of the refrences you’re reading here:
-Smoke Monster – A character on the television series “Lost”. No one in this time period understands the program either.
-Sasquatch – Local Alaska politician that would go on to run for national office in 2037.
-Zombie Palin – John McCain’s running mate in the long-forgotten Presidential race which led to the demise of the Republican Party and the emergence of the new Paultard Party in 2018.
-Mummified Corpse – A derogatory, yet humorous term, that, in Wonkette, can alternatively describe John McCain, Dick Cheney or any number of long-term Southern Congresspersons.
-concrete malls – Buildings used for shopping before the 2023 Free Market Coup, which transferred this function to Amazon and Walmart web presences.
He sounds a bit testy — of course, I’d be testy too if someone were making campaign ads calling me a maverick and saying I approved that message. He’s just a victim of scurrilous and malicious rumors — just like the Pope!
“People can consider me whatever they want.”
So, can we consider him a nappied hypotenuse?
Even so, Politico cannot WIN the afternoon, because our own JMP has snatched the prize.
Besides being a feminine hygiene product and a dragon, McCain is also Dr. Frankenstein, with his eponymous creation wreaking as much havoc as she can on the witless villagers.
He’s always done what’s best for the country and now we are 48% underwater. Hooray!
The cartoon by the Politico story is pretty good.
Is this sort of thing the reason that Palin never wants any of those pesky recording devices around?
John McCain is a hippie-dippy love child from the “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing” Coke commercials from the seventies. It makes me laugh to think of him prancing through the tall grass, waving his poor stumpy arms and smiling that death’s head grin while wondering why all the free-love children named and “Peace Tree” and “River Sighing” are running away from him screaming…
[re=556045]Joshua Norton[/re]: I think what he means about helping all those homeowners under water is banning earmarks.
Pork chops and applesauce. Isn’t that swell?
John McCain is the Yamcha to the American political system’s Dragon Ball Z.
[re=556062]Buzz Feedback[/re]: Senator Porkchops N. Applesauce has my vote!
[re=556051]bureaucrap[/re]: Oh crap. Now I have to wipe the chewed up lettuce and feta cheese off of my monitor. Is that original or a quote?
John McCain is a Furry.
[re=556103]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: Jesus fuck goddammit! Where the hell did you come from?!
Were you hiding in the condiments aisle or something?!
I’m John McCain and so is my wife.
You’re all Joe the Plumber!
John McCain is Not Amused.
[re=556121]Extemporanus[/re]: I’m hiding in your mind which is a very frightening place.. Help meeeeeee!!
That was a terrific story up until that last link, foisted on us by somebody’s syphilitic understanding of sourcing one’s quotes, lest they be sent to blog D-hall.
“He said 48 percent of the homeowners in his state are underwater on their mortgages.”
Of course, he’s worried about all those people and their mortgages. They elected an old coot to keep government out of their lives, but he did nothing at all to make sure the government saved their houses. Time to vote him out of office!
When I think Maverick I think this:
http://dckaleidoscope.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/0202.jpg and suddenly it ALL makes sense.
The fundamentals of the economy are strong!
[re=556111]Extemporanus[/re]: My favorite episode along with Marcia’s big nose and Greg’s surfing wipeout. Joe Namath, also.
[re=556075]user-of-owls[/re]: Nice.
[re=556132]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: MUUUUWHAAAHAHAHAHAAA!
john mccain is lindsey graham’s Cranky Leather Daddy.
At Christmas, John McCain is an eight-year-old Panamanian boy sitting on the lap of Nicholas, a Catholic saint.
John McCain in an under ripe avocado.
I’d like to consider him retired and forgotten…
Grandpappy Amos, without the limp.
Shit, I’m really showing my age now.
John McCain is a gay-mexican-trollop-cunt
Old. Just old.
“And even if he didn’t routinely use the word to describe himself until he plucked Palin from Alaska, he also didn’t steer away from it.”
Is it possible that a Politico writer allowed himself a cow pun?
[re=556186]mookworthjwilson[/re]: I think YOU deserve the Wonkette award, just for that marvelous hyphenated predicate adjective. Or whatever the hell it is.
John McCain is a budget family restaurant chain in Illinois.
John McCain is Spartacus – in the final crucifixtion scene.
In McCain’s defense, he thought he was in the line for the salad bar.
He never didn’t not call himself a dragon, HENNNGNGGG????!
How’s that mavericky thing workin’ out for you?
[re=556204]Berkeley Bear[/re]: FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was going to do the spartacus joke, but what’s the last comment I read?
[re=556199]the problem child[/re]: John McCain is the other white meat.
Sarah Palin is plucked (turkey!), and Michael Steele is what’s for dinner (beef!). Please go dig a See ‘n Say® out of the basement if you’re having trouble keeping up.
How about “Senator Nice-evening-out-at-the-pictures-then-perhaps-a-dance-at-a-club-and-back-to-his-place-for-a-quick-cup-of-coffee-and-little-bit-of…”?
[re=556043]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: Smokey IS almost as old as Walnuts. And the island does have jungles, kinda like Vietnam. Five and a half years man! Maybe all these time traveling jumps are just Walnuts trying to remember what the fuck is going on.
Well, John McCain is just this guy, you know?
Walnuts’ balls are so long they go CLICKITY CLAK when he walks.
Some people call me the space cowboy.
Yeah! Some call me the gangster of love.
Some people call me Maurice,
‘Cause I speak of the pompatus of love.
GET OFF MY FUCKING LAWN, POLITICO. YOU BUNCH OF MOTHER FUCKERS.
HENNGH?
John McCain is a barbeque with a rope swing nestled in one of seven or eight or ten or eleven houses.
John McCain the the horse getting laid in the email I received from that nice gentleman from Buffalo.
Thank you for showing this scene from the best run presidential campaign in modern history.
John McCain is an albino sewer gator.
Oh, you can call me John, or you can call me S, or you can call me JS, or you can call me Walnuts, but you doesn’t hasta call me maverick.
[re=556118]Ducksworthy[/re]: John McCain is a floorwax AND a dessert topping. That might clear things up.
He’s the real Slim Shady. He’s just too old to stand up.
Good. We may now go back to referring to him as “Former Embezzler.”
Funny how close to the surface that famous temper of his is if you just scratch it a little.
During the campaign whenever some crypto-rascist idiot would say, “Barack HUSSEIN Obama” I would reply, in the most sneering, pompous manner, “John SYDNEY McCain the THIRD.”
Although I am glad that McThird is finally upset about the housing crisis. Changing his nom de guerre from “Maverick” back to “Senator” is a sure fire way to fix the mortgage problem. How’s that name-y change-y thing workin’ out for ya, John?
He is the James Garner of Mavericks
[re=556093]user-of-owls[/re]: You rang?
John McCain is the Matrix.
[re=556085]gizmo1204[/re]: John McCain is JarJar Binks. Except older and bald.
.. and less popular.
Yeah, your banker buddies raped your constituents blind and you did what about it? Right.
As my 88 year old mother said to me after McCain picked the grifter, “I think he’s a little senile.”
He is Arizona’s Happy Action Fun Ball.
He’s been called a thousand things? John McCain is LEGION!
[re=556356]marioninnyc[/re]: Funny, I have an 88 year old neighbor lady who said pretty much the same thing.
JamacCain has about 20 years on me, I’m already getting bitter and cranky, and I was never captured and interrogated by the NVA. I can only imagine what goes through what’s left of his mind.
Goeb is pronounced Gohb or Goob?
@Starrigavan: Gerb?
Why, John McCain is not only a dragon, but a very good one! One might even call him a *grand* dragon. Spread the meme.
“He said 48 percent of the homeowners in his state are underwater on their mortgages.”
How much of that figure is made up of John McCain’s houses??
WALNUTS!: “Most Americans now want to do nothing. And I — and I — at this moment, and I agree with them.” (FOX News Network,12/30/09)
Does that count for helping the 48% of homeowners in Arizona who are underwater on their mortgages? I thought so.
You know those Democrats who say they used to like John McCain, back when he was mavericky? I’m not one of them.
I never liked that phony, overrated, plane crashing, propaganda film making, self-promoting, village bombing, legacy project from a war mongering lifer family.
So the country is in terrible trouble and government should do nothing about it and not make any changes. This is seriously the mainstream Republican platform? By these standards Nixon was a flaming liberal and Bush I was a maverick. And McCain is still a douche whose name kept him from getting kicked out of Annapolis.
[re=556486]babsinbuffalo[/re]: John McCain isn’t sure how many of his mortgages are underwater. His staff will get back to you.
[re=556357]edgydrifter[/re]: I hate to do this, but here:
• Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to John McCain.
• Caution: John McCain may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
• John McCain contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
• Do not use John McCain on concrete.
• Discontinue use of John McCain if any of the following occurs:
o itching
o vertigo
o dizziness
o tingling in extremities
o loss of balance or coordination
o slurred speech
o temporary blindness
o profuse sweating
o heart palpitations
• If John McCain begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
• John McCain may stick to certain types of skin.
• When not in use, John McCain should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of John McCain, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.
• Ingredients of John McCain include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
• John McCain has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
• Do not taunt John McCain.
• John McCain comes with a lifetime warranty.
• Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to John McCain.
• Caution: John McCain may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
• John McCain contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
• Do not use John McCain on concrete.
• Discontinue use of John McCain if any of the following occurs:
o itching
o vertigo
o dizziness
o tingling in extremities
o loss of balance or coordination
o slurred speech
o temporary blindness
o profuse sweating
o heart palpitations
• If John McCain begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
• John McCain may stick to certain types of skin.
• When not in use, John McCain should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of John McCain, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company, Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.
• Ingredients of John McCain include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
• John McCain has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
• Do not taunt John McCain.
• John McCain comes with a lifetime warranty.
[re=556682]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: copy/paste fail, fool!
John McCain is a fighter, a hard working man who fights for our state and our Nation. You may not love everything he says or does but he IS THE BEST CANDIDATE. I can guarantee you that JD has far more unethical, pathetic qualities, far more of a corrupt past, far more skeletons in his closet.
[re=556728]AZ Righty[/re]: So you agree, AZ voters should write in Happy Fun Ball?
John McCain is a collection of aborted fetus parts (especially his baby-head) and various cadavers.
John McCain is a Tiger Woods mistress.
Juan McCain es El Chupacabra.
John MCain is a legendary Leprachaun.
Finally, John McCain “killed fitty men!”
I can’t believe those jars of applesauce had the nerve to attack a Maverick like John McCain. Why, he’s one of the people that keep applesauce in business! He prolly can’t each much harder things than that or curdled milk. But don’t let that stop him. He’s gonna live until the end of time because he’s been born into a family with genes shared by leather dipped in kerosene – and that’s long enough to sit at the bottom of the ocean with the Titanic for a century and not decay.
When someone says ‘John’s a keeper’… they really mean it.
I consider him, dead.
(As a lot of other doctors)
Comments on this entry are closed.