Some Republican legislators in the sovereign nation of Texas have formed a new supergroup called the Independent Conservative Republicans of Texas, yee-haw, to help teabagger activists ruin things and also distance themselves from the radical feminist welfare moms who have taken over the regular Texas GOP. The ICRT just launched its new website, which is very brown (!) and has Founding Father pictures and Ronald Reagan junk all over it, what did you expect. There’s also stuff like “core principals” (hate homos/love fetuses/amen).
This all differs from the Texas GOP *how*? The founder of this exciting new organization, State Senator Dan Patrick of Houston, told the Star Telegram that Real Patriotic Conservatives need a place to go that doesn’t have what’s his name, the strip-club what-up guy, Michael Steele.
“I don’t want those folks to represent who we are,” Patrick said.
A fun-fact about Dan Patrick is that he once asked a doctor to neuter him live on the radio. For better teabagging, he did this.
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“those folks”
hmmmmm
My wife’s grandfather raised prizewinning Yorkshire hogs. Hang a blue ribbon round this Patrick porker’s neck and he would fit in with the best.
He is not only the president, he is a member of the unconvincing toupee club for men.
Who’s the dude with the caps and bad rug? (not to sound all judgmental, but you can practically see where he ties it under his chin fer crissakes.)
First, get this guy’s dentist on the phone! Next! His barber! Also, the people who made his toupee! What the hell happened here? He deserves answers! STAT!
[re=555789]Red Zeppelin[/re]: and teeth.com, whatever that is.
“This Websense category is filtered: Potentially Damaging Content. Sites in this category may pose a security threat to network resources or private information, and are blocked by your organization.”
Go figure -
Jesus, he looks like one of those “touslin and ticklin my intern” kind of politicians. BTW, I wonder if his fuzz bonnet comes with a chin strap for those windy Houston afternoons.
Dude has really let himself go since he left ESPN
Has any political party come back from obscurity by narrowing their appeal and playing to the basest fears of their most extreme members? Outside of the Nazis, I mean.
“We’re going to ask people for their trust,” Patrick said. “Our mission is really our message and then living up to the message.”
Isn’t that the thing the teabaggers are AGAINST? That’s what they’re on about, for chrissakes. That you can’t trust the Government or anything they say.
I guess maybe they just mean not to trust skinny Kenyans?
I love it that Steele’s “stewardship” of the GOP has driven all the racists out into the open, where we can get a clear shot — I mean *look* — at them. If they want to divide themselves into the “we pretend to be welcoming but don’t call us on it” GOP and the “No coloreds, No homos, No wetbacks, No Jews, No Wimmin” party, they should be encouraged to do so. I’ll even donate $10 to him so he can get himself a “Go Away” doormat for the clubhouse.
In the article, Huckabee said this will be just like Gingrich’s Contract with America. So they’ll make a lot of noise over this bullshit, then follow up by doing absolutely nothing; but keep referring to it as some big success anyway.
Radio Vasectomy? It looks like he’s put on some weight since the operation. I bet he naps on the TV all day too.
“It’s so Black… its like how much more Black can it be and the answer is…none.”
Nigel Tufnel
Too arcane?
In their little flashheader thingy they missed the mostus important document in Tejas hiztory!!!
The Tejas Ordinance of Secession, 1861. Why don’t they dust it off and say AMF?
Not to be confused with the Conservative Republicans for American Prosperity.
The People’s Liberation Front for Judea and the Judean People’s Front have nothing on these Teabaggers.
US America politics as movie comedy classics.
Demoncraps = Blazing Saddles
GOPer/Teabaggers = Life of Brian
So, who in this organization is going to have the first sex scandal or be caught emailing racist stuff?
[re=555801]Cape Clod[/re]: touche, my brother. well played.
From the website: “Victory or Death” – What the fuck is it with republicans and death.?? I just don’t get it.
[re=555806]thesheriffisnear[/re]: Spinal Tap is always relevant.
[re=555806]thesheriffisnear[/re]: No way, baby. I appreciate it.
I believe Sen. Dan Patrick (R. Douchebag) is a former teevee sportscaster and sports bar owner. Also an outstanding example of what happens when smegma is allowed to pile up. However that is, I believe, his own hair.
Yeah, that guy’s teeth… Ewwww… They’re like Osmond family teeth only more so. That is all.
[re=555814]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: don’t forget the cramming and the ass raping.
[re=555806]thesheriffisnear[/re]: Anybody who thinks that’s too arcane can lick my lovepump.
If this article is about Dan Patrick, why is there a picture of a lesbian accompanying the article?
“However that is, I believe, his own hair.”
Pity. It would make me look forward to male pattern baldness with giddy anticipation.
You go, ICRT! Raise a little hell, Texas-style! Every last one of y’all, go get neutered and spayed! Eee-haw. Who wants BBQ?
I hear they kicked one of the ladies out of the ICRT.
Yup. Apparently she had an orgasm.
So for this boy’s club, gayface is a feature, not a bug?
[re=555807]weejee[/re]: AND didja notice they actually quote Col. Travis’ letter from the Alamo – “Victory or death!”??? Do they even remember how that one turned out or did that get revised in their “HIS-story” books, too?
Well, here’s to history repeating itself.
[re=555806]thesheriffisnear[/re]: Yours goes to 11.
[re=555814]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Sounds like a promise for ritual suicide if their side loses, as Roman politicians sometimes did. Can we hold them to it?
Oh god, the website’s text was just copy-pasted from a dozen AOL forwards about Nostradamus predicting a Communist Antichrist from Afrika would kill George Washington or something. The “history” page is all about how world’s greatest civilizations only last 200 years yadda yadda. http://www.lorencollins.net/tytler.html
Sweet Jeebus, that photo. You could warn a person, you know?
Pretty sure some of these “Members” aren’t real people:
Rep. Jimmy Don Aycock (Too stereotypical. Gilding the lily.)
Rep. Jim Jackson (Not much thought went into this one.)
Rep. Tan Parker (Boehner?)
Sen. Florence Shapiro (!?!?)
Rep. John Smithee (Brother of Alan?)
Rep. Rick Hardcastle
After being neutered, did he tie his testicles to the back of his pick-up truck Texas style?
It’s republican, but it’s also more Texas-y! Look at all those paintings and references to independence. The positioning here is “we take the positions of normal republicans, but we’re willing to *secede* and declare war on the nergoes, unlike those accomodationists”
Also, I realize now that this is post #3, but I just caught on to the fact that Lauri is actually writing articles now. Huzzah! Well snarked, Lauri.
As long as we’re ripping this guy for his appearance, ’cause the dumbass ideology is boringly always the same, I figure Dan to be the type who wears his belt directly across his navel rather than at waist level so that his ample girth is evenly divided into an upper and lower fat-melon.
But is the ICR “fer” or “agin” secession?
This sounds a lot like the Gun Owners of America, who split off from those hippies at the National Rifle Association in the ’70s because the NRA was too soft on the Second Amendment.
[re=555834]joezoo[/re]: Doncha’ think it seems ’bout right for what one would expect from a Palinesque ex-sportscaster? Sorta goes along with writing their own history.
Remember the movie “Reds”? A Warren Beatty biopic, more or less, about journalist/author/political activist Jack Reed and his involvement in the fledgling Russian Revolution that led to the Soviet Union. One of the scenes depicted the hair splitting, self-destructive splintering of the ever dwindling in size “parties” who supported the “revolution” in the U.S. Their fight to the death squabbling over ever-finer points became comical in its inanity.
That’s the modern Republican Party.
I though James Farmer was a CORE principal – well, at least until Roy Innis went all free enterprise on us.
[re=555800]user-of-owls[/re]:
WWKOD
What would Keith Olbermann do?
Lauri Apple!! How did the Alderman Art Project go?
This guy looks like the love child of Lindsey Graham and WALNUTS! Henggghhhhh?
[re=555814]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: The words are the same, but the meaning has totally changed. Now when baggers scream “victory or death” they mean “either I win or YOU die.” Spoiled brats with gunz und trucknutz, go figure.
Dan PAtrick is Houston’s answer to Rush Limbaugh: a know-nothing sportscaster who became a demagogic asshole in the mid-90s, and who is now one of only 33 (give or take) Senators in the Texas Senate. His sense of entitlement and not being challenged from his years on the radio have not translated well to the deliberative legislative process, which explains periodic internetical discharges like this.
[re=555819]BeWoot[/re]: Nah, this “Dan Patrick” is a radio station owner/host who is, unfortunately, my state senator. Not the sportscaster. His opponent in the election signed a waiver giving up equal time on Patrick’s radio station, lost the election, and ended up as one of the owners. But I’m sure that was all above board, and not illegal in the least.
NOT en fuego. Not en fuego at all.
Of the sixty or so members on their home page, about ten are female. That’s probably ten too many for the rest of them.
[re=555836]ArkansasFred[/re]: No, they’re actual members of the Texas legislature. They make me so proud — especially Florence Shapiro, who only exists to write anti-abortion legislation. A sack of losers, each and every one.
No neegrows aloud!
Whats the name of this group again? The Real White Patriotic White Male White Conservative Christian White Dude Club?
“A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury.”
Sounds like they have had just about enough of this silly “democracy” experiment. Time to go back to good old fashioned fiscally conservative fascism.
I can just picture the founding meeting. “Well we gave this democracy a try, but I think it’s run its course. Now let’s get rid of democracy and replace it with something more conservative.”
Don’t get me started on this asshole, who I remember when he showed up in Houston around 1980. He was a weekend sports anchor on the CBS affiliate’s local news, washed out of that, ran a couple of sports bars, then bought an AM radio station that mainly focused on sports. He ran it as a sports station for awhile, but then around 1988 he started airing a new syndicated program featuring a personality by the name of Rush Limbaugh. And the rest is history. Patrick is a total phony and self promoter; no doubt he has always vaguely hated colored people and resented paying taxes, but the traditional values stuff is entirely opportunistic.
This Dan Patrick’s claim to fame, before now, was in starting the firestorm that got Bill Maher knocked off of ABC (actually for agreeing with something said by wingnut cleric Dinesh D’Souza). Patrick has also written a Bible study guide, even though he has no religious education of any came.
In short, a phony pigfucker, not the authentic article. Really just a total douche. Real last name: Goeb, also (didn’t sound very Texan (he’s from MD), so he changed it).
That’s way too much information about a TX state senator who is unlikely to go any farther than that, so I’ll stop now.
Now now, let’s be nice: this *could* be a step toward Texas leaving the union and becoming its own nation…
[re=555829]ttt[/re]: If that guy in the photo is representative of the members of this gang, she must have had an electronic device…
At first, when I read “the strip-club what-up guy”, I thought you meant Jack Ruby. That would be cool if they could get him.
[re=555877]norbizness[/re]: Hell yeeeeah..I did a quick check on this schmendrick and found that he’s known for proposing inane, bullshit legislation like making it illegal to be an illegal immigrant in Texas, whatever the Hell that means. Otherwise, he’s known for NOT proposing new or relevant legislation. His real name is Daniel Scott Goeb so he not only changed his name he stole the name of a more prominent, accomplished and intelligent broadcaster AND you can fit all his military experience on the head of a pin and still have room for an infinite number of angels. Truly he’s a loathsome, grandstanding,chickenhawk FUCK.
I’m not sure I would place the statement “A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government.” prominently on my fake ‘History’ page. People may misinterpret what you’re suggesting.
At least he got that vasectomy. We can all be thankful for that. Why does he hate children?
[re=555908]kth[/re]: no, that was great, thanks, i was just getting into the groove…
[re=555922]An Outhouse[/re]: Oh no, I think the bad interpretations are perfectly intentional on his part.
I wonder if his wife got him microchipped at the same time as she got him fixed? It makes them easier to identify if they stray. Which you know they will.
I can’t wait to see what kind of government he tries to set up to replace democracy.
According to my work web filter, their website is “Porn/Nudity/Restricted Adult Content.” Teabagging, indeed!!
So every guy named “Dan Patrick” is a dickface?
[re=555833]JMP[/re]: No, we couldn’t even get Fat Rush to move to Costa Rica. They’re big on letting their moths write checks that their asses can’t cash, as my granny liked to say.
[re=555952]rocktonsammy[/re]: Yes we’ve come to quite a pass when Craig Kilborn’s smarm-mentor isn’t the biggest douche by the name of Dan Patrick.
This picture has tele-evangelist written all over it. And I predict that the words “Dan Patrick”, “meth”, and “male prostitute” will put into the same sentence. And not in a good way either.
[re=555953]ArugulaTeleprompterz[/re]: Mouths, not moths… More coffee please…
[re=555809]ManchuCandidate[/re]: It’s true! I can’t believe this is the first time I’ve seen that analogy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExWfh6sGyso
“Bossy bottom”, my money is on.
Good move. This will certainly go a long way towards helping the Tea Party & GOP overcome accusations of racism.
At least they came up with a real snappy acronym.
Just ran through the names on the website. Nary a Garcia, Rodriguez or Hernandez in the bunch.
Even his teeth are immaculately white. Photoshopped in obviously, but we get the point.
I’m all for “Victory or Death.” When this idiot’s next vote in the Texas legislature fails, he must kill himself. Immediately. For the children. Only then can we have Freedom. Remember the Alamo!
Lauri, when did you become a writer? How about some heads up, Introducing Our New Blogger, 3 time Pulizter Prize Nominee…? Hi!
So Mr Patrick’s real name is Goeb?
You haff done great verk Herr Goeb. Ze infiltration of ze Texas Republican Partei ist now komplete. You may now take back your name and wear it proudly, in honor of ze Vaterland! Mr. Daniel Patrick Goebbels!
Oh, yah, you need to change that silly “Victory or Death” motto… Maybe try “Hail Victory!?”
ICRT is pretty catchy…but how about Independent Society (of) Conservative Aryan Republican Independents Of Texas?
[re=556193]NYNYNY[/re]: Perfect! I just can’t get anything to work with “Judas”
Freedom
Alliance of
Southern
Conservatives
In the
State of
Texas
Everywhere I look icrepublicans (.com)
Old news! I wrote about this back in college.
http://burndownblog.wordpress.com/2010/04/14/burn-down-dan-patrick/
Wow! I have to read Wonkette to find out what is going on in my own backyard. Goeb, huh? And a carpetbagger/ Didn’t know that factoid, either. He made an especially classy Teabagger move by walking out of the Texas Senate because the invocation was being given by a Muslim cleric.
When he is eventually rounded up and sent to FEMA internment camp those teeth will be the first to go.
Goeb is pronounced Gohb, Goob or a la Boehner, Gayb?
[re=556269]evan7257[/re]: Good point about Straus. Goeb v. Straus? Faktionkrieg im das Partei?
[re=555899]Prommie[/re]: “Whats the name of this group again? The Real White Patriotic White Male White Conservative Christian White Dude Club?”
No, [re=555787]x111e7thst[/re]: said it was “Yorkshire Porkers.”
Independent Conservative? Unpossible.
[re=555811]Terry[/re]: Terry, all of them. :)
Yea! Race to the bottom. Whee!
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