rumors on the internets

Mike Huckabee Doesn’t Care About All Of The Gross Stuff Gay People Do To Their Dogs

  • Angelina Jolie recolonized The Congo so that Brangelina could adopt as many precious diamonds and African orphans as humanly possible. [The Daily Dish]
  • On a similar note: Mike Huckabee just wants you to know that babies do not = puppies, these are two different things, and yeah the gays can sodomize as many adopted puppies as they see fit but babies? Gay people shouldn’t be allowed to own those things. [Daily Intel]
  • Meanwhile, Teabaggers have developed a new form of Pride, “straight pride,” which is like “white pride” but for closeted dingbats. [Michigan Messenger]
  • Bostonians are being so mean to Sarah Palin, but no bother. She will tell them she has wet dreams about the Red Sox every night, and then Taxachusetts will elect her U.S. Senator, forever. [The Corner]
  • Alan Grayson receives 1,000 pesos from grateful liberals every time he punches a Republican in the face or calls Dick Cheney an evil cumsicle. And now he is peso-rich. [TPM]
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About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

View all articles by Riley Waggaman

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23 comments

  1. Beowoof

    I do love the I usually love crazy bitches sign for Sarah in Boston. I am sure she will fit in with all those college type intellectuals walking around knowing stuff. She can show them how much she knows about being a retard.

  2. JMP

    That’s very good news for any babies who get near Huckabee, since we know how his son likes to torture puppies.

    I liked this quote from a gay activist in the Michigan paper: “That group is older white people, straight apparently.” There’s a bit of too-much-protesting in the straight pride shirts. Oh, but Riley missed the death threats: “The company also offered other t-shirts carrying slogans like “Fox News Fan,” the Second Amendment written out in the shape of a handgun and a drawing of two stick figures with one holding a gun to the head of the other and labeled “socialism.” “

  3. chascates

    Huckabee also said the effort to allow gays and lesbians to marry is comparable to legalizing incest, polygamy and drug use.

  4. mumblyjoe

    With all the bile that she heaps on the East Coast, what? She expected Bostonians, the Classiest People On Earth*, to greet her with open arms?

    *not actually

  5. RoscoePColtraine

    Didn’t one of Huckabee’s sons torture a dog? Romney strapped his to the roof of the car and drove with it up there.

    Morons should definitely not be allowed to adopt puppies. Oh yes, I mean that.

  6. chaste everywhere

    According to the map of celebrity Africa, Jolie, Affleck, and Lange have pretty much sewn up the Heart of Darkness demographic, which oughta warm the cockles of everybody’s heart.

  7. St.SarahOfThePO

    [re=555281]chascates[/re]: Well, you have to consider the source. In the Huckabee family, hanging a starving stray dog from a tree is comparable to just giving the poor thing some food.

  8. Mahousu

    [re=555279]JMP[/re]: I’m confused. Does the last one mean that only socialists support the Second Amendment?

  9. Crank Tango

    [re=555303]St.SarahOfThePO[/re]: well duh, i mean what good is a starving dog to a huckabee? Can’t eat it, and god knows they wouldn’t share food with it.

  10. Crank Tango

    [re=555318]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: what i don’t get is, why is the gay kid in the straight pride shirt covering his face?

  11. coolcatdaddy

    [re=555281]chascates[/re]: Huckabee also said the effort to allow gays and lesbians to marry is comparable to legalizing incest, polygamy and drug use.

    And the problem with this is…?

  12. comicbookguy

    Makes me wonder what Huckabee thinks the Cheney daughters do on their sleepovers.

    Also, “straight pride” t-shirt… chick magnet? I need to find some way to tell women I’m straight, most of them act like they don’t know.

  13. N.S.Sherlock

    [re=555296]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: And you have man-on-dog Santorum. Change that Mormon reference to Republican.

  14. surfacenoise76

    [re=555281]chascates[/re]: He’s dissing the ‘cest? He’s obviously hit the big time and has no plans of being an elected official in Arkansas again.

  15. Jukesgrrl

    I sure hope that Straight Pride T-shirt comes in XXXXLarge.

    Bono is going to be SO upset his mug is not on that map of Africa! He might have to adopt Ireland.

  16. hatefulhelp

    I rather enjoy the fact that the straight pride company’s name is actually just the sound of a gunshot.

  17. friendlyskies

    RE: Straight Pride, I just saw that Constance girl, the one who was tricked out of her prom by nefarious evildoing straight adults, is going to be Grand Marshal in the NYC Gay Pride parade! From WTF to FTW in a week flat, you go girl. But damn, those school administrators? How can I buy a straight pride shirt now? Those people are fuckheads.

  18. Gayer Than Thou

    ZOMG — why does it totally figure that the Straight Pride t-shirt is black and white, with a drab logo and a perfunctory font? It’s a joke, right? I mean, an intentional joke, right?

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