Today In Catholic Church News: Freemasons, Jews, Queers To Blame For Adult Catholic Priests Raping Children

  nazis nazis everywhere

Today we revisit the Catholic Church, which is undergoing something of a scandal, whereby adult priests rail young children with their peens for centuries, and then no one goes to jail, and then the Church blames it on other people, and then people still choose to be involved with this institution. This is an Oligarchy, like the Southern planters, the industrialists, and currently the big Wall Street Banks. Fortunately no one really cares about the Catholic Church anymore, except in the various Mexicos. Is this starting to become one of those rants? Let’s get on with the blockquotes.

Here is a horrible thing:

SANTIAGO, Chile — The Vatican’s second-highest authority says the sex scandals haunting the Roman Catholic Church are linked to homosexuality and not celibacy among priests.

Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, the Vatican’s secretary of state, made the comments during a news conference Monday in Chile, where one of the church’s highest-profile pedophile cases involves a priest having sex with young girls.

“Many psychologists and psychiatrists have demonstrated that there is no relation between celibacy and pedophilia. But many others have demonstrated, I have been told recently, that there is a relation between homosexuality and pedophilia. That is true,” said Bertone. “That is the problem.”

(Emphasis ours, to point out obvious problem with motherfucker’s argument. There are many other problems, namely the fact that people are fucking children, and this has nothing to do with whether two dudes want to bone, or whether two ladies want to scissor. Although we must remember that ladies do not exist, in Catholicism, unless God fucked them with his magic tough to produce Jesus. Again, this is become one of those rants.)

More things:

Last week, retired Bishop Giacomo Babini of the Italian town of Grosseto told the Catholic Pontifex website that the Catholic pedophile scandal is being orchestrated by the “eternal enemies of Catholicism, namely the freemasons and the Jews, whose mutual entanglements are not always easy to see through. … I think that it is primarily a Zionist attack, in view of its power and refinement. They do not want the church, they are its natural enemies. Deep down, historically speaking, the Jews are God-killers.”

You might think that the 81 year-old Babini had already said more than enough for one day, but once some people “pop,” they just can’t stop. “The Holocaust was a disgrace for all of humanity,” the good bishop told the world, “but now we have to look at it without rhetoric and with open eyes. Don’t believe that Hitler was merely crazy. The truth is that the Nazis’ criminal fury was provoked by the Jews’ economic embezzlement, by which they choked the German economy.” He concluded that the Jews’ “guilt is graver than what Christ predicted would happen to them, saying ‘do not cry for me, but for your own children.’”

These are your leaders, Catholics. You were born into this faith. But now you are adults. You need to start fucking children, or you need to ignore the Vatican, an impediment to your very humanity.

[AP]
[Balloon Juice]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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119 comments

  1. TGY

    The welcoming arms of Lutheranism open wide. Lutheranism: where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average.

  2. JMP

    The Vatican’s blaming the Freemasons now? But I thought they were in league together in secretly ruling the world (along with the British royal family); that’s what the LaRouchists told me at least.

    Don’t worry about this turning into one of those rants, Jim; this is the Catholic hierarchy, the single most corrupt and vile organization currently on Earth, they deserve angry rants.

  3. TGY

    [re=554594]JMP[/re]: No, the Freemasons are in league with Tom Hanks against the Vatican and Opus the Penguin.

  4. pirate king of the Jews

    I feel I should clarify, I am neither a pirate, a king nor a Jew. I’m also not a Freemason, a Catholic and only a part-time asshole, unlike Santagrinch.

  5. Norbert

    [re=554590]An Outhouse[/re]: I would go with “dicitur”, which is also appropriate because of DIC. Or if you want to be more literal, and for added humor, “quidam dicunt”.

  6. Capricatony

    To be fair, concealing mass child rape isn’t the worst thing the Catholic Church has ever done.

  7. Oldskool

    Look out, Popey has Christopher Hitchens on his ass now. He’s telling Tamron Hall he’ll try to have him arrested when he goes to England. We should send our war crimnals over there since we don’t have the balls to do anything about em.

  8. SayItWithWookies

    [re=554588]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: Be like little children, they said — trust me completely, learn to keep a secret, and if anything happens, I’ll be ready to excommunicate your mother if she finds out and tries anything stupid like acting like a parent.

    Oh, and these are the people who, when Mike Huckabee and Newt and Michele and all the rest say they want government to be God-centered — these are the folks they feel should be in charge. Not Ratzi in particular, but other fucked-up individuals who don’t understand the concept of rule of law. Like that idiot who ran the place until the real adults started running things fifteen months ago.

  9. Lascauxcaveman

    To paraphrase Nelson: “Having sex with girls? That is so gay, dude.”

    I like Douchehat’s explanation better. It’s the hippies fault. Specifically hippies from the permissive 70s.

  10. TGY

    [re=554597]pirate king of the Jews[/re]: That’s OK. The initials ‘TGY’ have nothing to do with me, either.

  11. Aflac Shrugged

    I also blame the Queen. The Vatican. The Gettys. The Rothschilds. *And* Colonel Sanders before he went tits up.

  12. facehead

    Thank God the Jewish Homos are to blame, I kept thinking it was because I jerked off too much.

  13. whiskey tango foxtrot

    Babini is trying to Godwins-law this whole thread. Sorry ol Bishop – the law technically does not apply if you invoke it on purpose.

  14. nappyduggs

    Well, as the teeshirt says, “Christianity isn’t Jesus’s fault.”

    Why do the Catholics hate the Nazarene?

  15. JMP

    [re=554604]Capricatony[/re]: They’re also directly responsible for the spread of AIDS in much of the third world right now; so as evil as the child ape cover-up is, it’s not actually the worse current action of the Church.

  16. Way Cool Larry

    wow, that’s really Grosseto

    Does the name Giacomo translate to “jack a homo” in english?

  17. weejee

    Those wonderful atheists Dickie Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens hope to have the Pope arrested when he visits the UK in September. Why pray tell? Aiding and abbetting pedophilia for 2000 years is a crime?

    Sweet Jeebus cheers and cheers.

  18. charlesdegoal

    Don’t forget the other culprits: According to a French bishop (on local TV yesterday in Paris), the fault lies with the victims, who didn’t bother to complain.

  19. Lascauxcaveman

    Bet that Bishop Giacomo Babini was prolly quite relieved when JPII tossed that whole Vatican-II-lovey-dovey-hippie-ecumenism thing out the window. Sounds likes he’s been slavering to go hatin’ on the Jews for a long time.

  20. snideinplainsight

    Oh for goodness sake, can’t anybody read the Bible! It clearly says, in James’ Second Letter to the Ephesians 7:12,

    “Let them that hath no guilt blame the furries.”

  21. Lazy Media

    [re=554617]Darkness[/re]: [re=554601]Cicada[/re]: Not to stick up for the bish, but are there 13-year-olds who want to have sex? Uh, as a former 13-year-old, I can say, hell yeah. But as someone who was hit on by a 14-year-old when I was 32, I can say, Jesus Christ, you sick bastards, how hard is that to turn down?

  22. SayItWithWookies

    [re=554626]weejee[/re]: As the representative of The LORD, Ratzi vas only following orders.

  23. BOOBIES!

    “Deep down, historically speaking, the Jews are God-killers.” Jesus was a Jew, stupid child-fucker.

  24. SlouchingTowardsWasilla

    [re=554601]Cicada[/re]: [re=554607]SayItWithWookies[/re]: [re=554617]Darkness[/re]: Impressive.

  25. ArkansasFred

    And no one listened to me when I said it was a bad idea to fill all baptismal fonts with Cosmos.

  26. donner_froh

    [re=554601]Cicada[/re]: The chances of the Bishop of Tenerife having raped a 13 year old who was “asking for it” are 100%

  27. Darkness

    [re=554633]Lazy Media[/re]: I assumed that went without saying. Responsibility would, in a normal world, lie solely with the adults involved. De facto making any intent by the children involved, moot.

  28. edgydrifter

    And now we wait for Cardinal Ravenwood to weigh in, because once you’ve blamed the gays, Jews and Freemasons, you might as well go ahead and blame Dethklok, too.

  29. AxmxZ

    You really wonder why with all those atrocities going on, no one has guessed to segregate all those queers and Jews and Freemasons to some place where they can work productively and no longer imperil Vaterland with their decadence and sabotage?

    Wait, what?… Really!.. Well, then it looks like the Church already has the leadership to implement the glorious final solution to all its PR problems! That’s what it should be called: “The Final descent of the catholic church into utter senility, possibly from all that child-rape they’ve been indulging in, many have demonstrated that this leads to senility and blindness, that is true, that is the problem, or rather the Solution.”

  30. Chickensmack

    It’s ironic that a college professor recently said, “You may make mistakes, but you are not a failure until you start blaming someone else.”

    EPIC FIFTY YEAR BOINK-O-RAMA COVERUP FAIL

  31. ella

    Babini’s obviously a butt-kissing company man who might be retired but hasn’t forgotten his boss was a Nazi.

  32. mumblyjoe

    So, the really fucked up thing about whole “oh, let’s blame the gays for this” thing is that it probably is true, to an extent, that the very fucked up way that the Catholic community treats gay men contributes to the problem: these guys are taught from their first moments of sexual self-identity that any normal sexual expression for them is inherently sinful, that they need to live a life of complete celebacy, and that the only way they could ever hope to be a respectable member of society in light of that is to join the priesthood. Basically, it has all the specialness of the ex-gay bullshit that evangelicals do to people, but then they put them in a position of power and authority. Being gay [i]per se[/i] has nothing to do with it, but completely damaging someone in terms of self-identity and sexuality, then putting them in a position of authority sure as hell does. Try doing the same thing to hundreds of straight guys, and see what happens.

    But, because these fucktards jump to the gays==pedophiles libel whenever anyone points out that [i]the church covered up and turned a blind eye to child rape[/i], this actually relevant point kinda gets left by the wayside because it suddenly becomes impossible to point that out without looking like a homophobe.

  33. Cicada

    [re=554633]Lazy Media[/re]: Yeah, the problem isn’t that there are horny 13 year olds. The problem is that adults in positions of authority decided to take advantage of that. But hey, if you’re going to blame the Jews and the freemasons, why not throw the kids on the pile?

  34. weejee

    [re=554634]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Didn’t Nuremberg said something about that Ratzi defense? So even if this goes way back in the way back machine, there’d be no ex post facto bs for the last 50 years of [re=554650]Chickensmack[/re]‘s BOINK-O-RAMA.

  35. Lazy Media

    [re=554644]Darkness[/re]: I just dislike it when people lump teen-seducers in with child rapers. You fuck an 8-year-old up the bum, you’re doing something ENTIRELY different from the guy who gets a blowjob from a 14-year-old who’s into it. It’s like saying that having sex with a naked drunk girl who passes out halfway into the proceedings is the same thing as dragging a woman into an alley at knifepoint (which people do). Rape is an act of violence. There are types of sex that are Not Right and should be punishable, but they’re not rape.

    /Two of my great grandmothers and one of my grandmothers were married by the time they were 14. And my grandmother got divorced at 15 because she didn’t take any crap.

  36. MFitz

    Would someone who is good at photoshop please put this picture of Ratzi in Darth Vader’s helmet?

  37. Zadig

    [re=554588]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: The way those 13-year-olds were dressed, they were asking for it, man!

  38. Chickensmack

    [re=554662]weejee[/re]: One would think that the ex post facto part would at least extend back to the first time a settlement was reached between a diocese and a cornhole-ee. From that point on, I’d think, mamma’s watchin’.

  39. god.was.stingy

    [re=554590]An Outhouse[/re]: Multi populi dicant, If I remember correctly, but that’s many, not some.
    [re=554593]TGY[/re]: What about the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod? That’s my background, and they’re pretty dang crazy! All like “wimin can’t be pastors” in 2010, and then they also freaked out when a LCMS Pastor joined in an interdenominational memorial prayer service in Yankee Stadium right after 9/11. Nowadays, I avoid church in order to avoid arguments.
    And could someone please explain in theological terms why the Pope is so forgivey to holocaust deniers and Pope tumbler ladies, but is as resolute as a rapey rock in denying any wrong in the horrific abuse of children? I don’t think that’s what Jesus had in mind he said “Suffer the little children to come unto me.”

  40. JMP

    [re=554633]Lazy Media[/re]: 13-year-olds certainly want to have sex; but how many want it with wrinkly old drunken men?

    [re=554639]BOOBIES![/re]: So does this mean the Cardinal believes the Jews have super powers? Let’s face it, killing a god is pretty damned hard, and usually takes another god, or at least a demi-god; and even then it usually doesn’t stick.

    Though there have been a number of godly deaths recently, with Typhon killing Hera and Zeus, then him and Hercules killing each other (although does anyone expect Herc to stay dead?), and the Sentry killing Ares after he turned on the Green Goblin. Hard times for the Greek gods.

  41. Troubledog

    What’s the difference between a Level Three sex offender and the Pope?

    Level Three sex offenders are rehabilitated before release.

  42. Shot at Wolf

    Normally I would advise not to throw the baby out with the bathwater, but apparently there are exceptions to this rule as well.

  43. SayItWithWookies

    [re=554661]Cicada[/re]: I’d argue it has absolutely nothing to do with horny 13-year-olds. Speaking as a former horny 13-year-old, I never had a sexual thought about anyone older than the centerfolds in my dad’s Playboys. And the ones with real initiative were in the empty classroom taking the pants off the horny 13-year-old girls. The priests weren’t into the horny ones so much as the ones who keep quiet.

    [re=554662]weejee[/re]: The main irony would be that the Pope would be pleading that he wasn’t acting of his own initiative. This practice of doing evil while attempting to convey the misapprehension that it’s for some greater good is what the pious call humility. I don’t claim to see it that way myself, but watch for it — they will invoke it.

  44. Anonymous Office Zombie

    In your face, Tea Party losers! In your face!

    This is how you bring it. This is how the real pros, ball it, son. Your weak ass racism and your incoherent ideologies are nothing. The RC Church brings it old skool, biotches, with the classic one-two punch. “Pedophillia? On our watch? What you say-” BOOM! BOOM! Classic anti-semitism/freemason paranoia with the left, classic gay bashing with the right. KO, game over. RC crazy train victorious!

  45. weejee

    [re=554685]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Would this be the caner weeping and wailing “it’s for your own good” while she/he canes the canee?

  46. An Outhouse

    Let’s try it:

    ” psychologists and psychiatrists have demonstrated that there is no relation between celibacy and pedophilia. Multi populi dicant there is a relation between homosexuality ”

    reported the Fox Vatican spokesman.

  47. Johnny Zhivago

    My grandfather was a freemason and he definitely hated both Jews and Catholics. This was always a tad bit uncomfortable, since at the time, I was a Catholic.

  48. Jumping Jim

    A forty year old man having sex with a 12 year old boy isn’t about homosexuality. It’s about power and the corruption that goes with too much power. The church has had too much power over the lives of the working poor. You do not hear about this happening in Grosse Point or Gladwynne or Shaker Heights.
    When you have power you feel like you can do anything and you will be protected. The RC Church protects these bastards. Stick that in your hat pope boy.

  49. JooJoo Bee

    So which group is actually attacking the Vatican again now? The Jews or the anti-semites? It’s all so confusing. I wish Sister Mary Ignatius could explain it all to us.

  50. Aunt Fancy

    I saw this press conference on HBO the other night, Bishop Giacomo Babini was played by Anakin Skywalker.

  51. Cicada

    [re=554685]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I hate even arguing this, because I agree with you for the most part. I do need to point out, however, that there are young attractive priests. Given the current ages of a number of the accused priests and the time frame of their crimes, a lot of the priests being accused were probably fairly young when they started.

    That said, it doesn’t fucking matter if there were hoards of 13 year old boys throwing themselves at the priest equivalent of Brad Pitt, they were wrong to act on it. Also, that whole scenario is a straw-man being put out by a corrupt official to draw attention away from the thousands of documented cases of child rape and torture that were completely non-consensual. So fuck that guy.

  52. Red Zeppelin

    Don’t cry for Jews Argentina! Or Chile, or whatever the fuck miserable country down there.

  53. Cicada

    [re=554748]Cicada[/re]: “Hordes”, not “hoards”. Although I wouldn’t put it past some of these sleazeballs to have a hidden cache of 13 year olds stashed in a shed somewhere.

  54. Maxine of Arc

    That’s it, I’m switching to the Episcopal church.

    (The funny thing is, I wasn’t Catholic.)

  55. GoinGreen

    [re=554756]Cicada[/re]: Now THAT is a TLC special worth watching: “Hoarders: The Child Raper Edition”.

  56. proudgrampa

    They just say anything to absolve themselves of responsibility for ANYTHING.

    Fucking religion.

  57. Cranky Little Camperette

    [re=554671]god.was.stingy[/re]: [re=554702]An Outhouse[/re]: Quidam populi dicant — some (or certain) of the people say…

    Yes, I had to go back to my First Year Latin book for that.

    Yes, I still have my First Year Latin book.

  58. KilgoreTrout_XL

    Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone: congratulations, you get 6 whore diamonds.

    He’s got the horrible motherfucker thing down, but a true 7-diamond WhoreCardinal would have been jerking off while rubbing shit all over his face during the speech. Let’s step it the fuck up, you Vatican pieces of shit!

  59. GOPCrusher

    [re=554588]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: The children had it coming, did you see how they were dressed? They were begging for it.

  60. canadasteve

    The comments by the church reps. are so f*cking disgusting, I am speechless. And believe me, that doesn’t happen very often!

  61. hiphophitler

    Enough about the Jews and the homos. I say it’s time to gang up on the freemasons. All the pedophilia? It’s the fault of the damn freemason priests. Also, we need a constitutional amendment that prevents freemasons from marrying, teaching, and adopting children.

  62. GoinGreen

    [re=554812]hiphophitler[/re]: You know what you call a freemason here in Texas? The crew of illegals that your builder hired to brick the house you are building – you wait until they are ALMOST finished, then call INS and report the address! You then fire your builder for such repugnant hiring practices and hire your neighbors crew of illegals to finish the job.

  63. Accordion-o-rama

    The Vatican has dismissed outrage over Bishop Babini’s comments as a “Zionist plot”.

  64. Aurelio

    [re=554590]An Outhouse[/re]:
    How do you say “Some people say” in Latin?
    Aiunt. It means “they say.” It only occurs in that one form. There is no singular or first or second person of this verb.

  65. Starrigavan

    It isn’t about celibacy. It isn’t about sexuality, either homo or hetero. It’s about power. It’s about control. Think about the type of guys who want to be cops. Usually big, insecure assholes who like to bully people. Now think about the type of guy who wants to be your sole connection to god. There are priests who become priests to help people. Just like there are decent cops. No, really, there are decent cops. And there are priests who get off on the idea of power. Just like there are asshole cops. Priests are raping boys. They are raping girls. They are raping nuns. Anybody who is weak is a target. It’s about power. Are most priests rapists? No. Do most priests go along with the cover-up? Yes.

  66. Zorg

    Jews and Freemasons? Is Babini only 81? ‘Cause that sounds like a rant overheard in a Kiev police station around 1890…

  67. McDuff

    [re=554671]god.was.stingy[/re]: I, too, used to bow five times a day towards LCMS headquarters in St. Louis. I left Holy Mother Missouri after I discovered my car would only make right turns.

  68. Terry

    [re=554593]TGY[/re]:

    I thought that was supposed to be Minnesota, but they went ahead and elected Michelle Bachmann.

  69. Aurelio

    That is some picture of Ratzi in the Santa hat. He looks like he’s watching some heretics burn at the stake.

  70. JMP

    [re=554683]Zadig[/re]: Let’s face it, while many of the Greek gods could be assholes (the nicest was probably, oddly enough, Hades, the lord of death), they were easily beaten by old Yahweh in the murder and genocide departments. And his followers are still a big problem today. I’m hoping we can unleash Kratos on that old bastard.

  71. god.was.stingy

    [re=554777]Cranky Little Camperette[/re]: Nothing like learning a dead language! At least Junior Classical League was fun.

  72. GOPCrusher

    [re=554715]snideinplainsight[/re]: Da Swiss Guard. Jay Cutler will throw 5 interceptions.

  73. MOG

    [re=554588]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: They’ll be rounding that corner by Friday, watch this space.

  74. JMP

    [re=554933]TheWaltonFirm[/re]: He was originally a demigod, born of a mortal woman and Zeus, most powerful of the gods; but after his mortal death, following the betrayal of one close to him, his father raised him up to Olympus as a full god.

    Hm, his story is somewhat reminiscent of someone else…

  75. Cranky Little Camperette

    [re=554876]god.was.stingy[/re]: JCL, FTW! Wow, that brings back memories. Ridiculously geeky memories…

  76. PlanetWingnuta

    Babini probably not only fucked kids, but video taped it, sends them out to trade, probably is a star in some kiddie porn videos, and runs probably a porno ring with video studio in his rectory. There’s no reason for him to be this “upset” if he wasn’t hiding anything…i suggest the above …and worse.

  77. PlanetWingnuta

    By the way when Does Chris Hansen start doing To Catch A Predator – Catholic Priest Edition?

  78. desertwind

    Ugh.

    And, not to mention all the priests diddling their housekeepers who mysteriously keep having children even though they’re not married. See: everywhere, but a big deal in Central/South America and Africa.

  79. desertwind

    PS — Bernie Law, my first cousin twice removed (thank God) is well out of it now. Just retired and hangin’ out with the nuns.

  80. Starrigavan

    When does this stop being a “religion” and start being a “criminal conspiracy?”

  81. problemwithcaring

    [re=554748]Cicada[/re]: Yes exactly. Mr. Priest Brad Pitt, renounce the church and then blow all the 13 year-olds that you want.

    Seducing your chargers – no matter what their age and who you are – is wrong and creepy.

  82. Starrigavan

    [re=555367]problemwithcaring[/re]: By chargers do you mean big brawny horses or those things I use to plug my phone into the wall? Either way it’s wrong and creepy!

  83. maven

    [re=554818]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: The joke goes “how do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her as an altar boy”

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