Here’s a little map of Washington D.C. having a heart attack and dying. It will do this next Monday and Tuesday for President McGayertron’s precious summit on what else, nukes, where 40+ world leaders are coming to talk about nukes (except Bibi Netanyahu, because then he might have to admit that his country has lots of operational nukes). The traffic is supposed to be so bad during this nuclear dildo contest that the federal government is basically telling its slob employees to work from home. SNOW DAY! (THE SNOW OF HUMAN ASH.) [Washington Post]
DEATH CONFERENCES
April 9, 2010
Washington DC To Be Destroyed By Nuclear Weapon (Summit)
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FUN FACT: You know that part of the Nuclear Posture Review, that promises that WE WILL NOT cold nuke countries that don’t also have nukes, so long as they’re in the Happy-Funtime-No-Nukes-Here Club? Guess which country, along with India, Pakistan, and North Korea, [i]isn’t[/i] a member of that happy funtime club? (Iran, for the record *is* in the funtime club, but he’s the kid who showed up drunk, ate all the snacks, and then spend the rest of the evening puking all over everything, so we’re saying they don’t count as members any more)
Anyway: [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuclear_Non-Proliferation_Treaty"]Yup, that’s right[/url].
Anybody else feel like trolling Redstate by trying to start a rumor that Obama is secretly plotting to nuke Israel?
Whee! Human ash snowball fight!
What you see is the street closures for a 20 kiloton nuclear summit. If you adjust the widget, you’ll see expanded street closures from a 1 megaton nuclear summit.
Oh, sure — he’s all full of compassion for those funny-sounding foreigners now that he’s not threatening them with nuclear annihilation, but he has no feelings for the convenience of Real Patriotic Americans.
Well there’s only one way for the Republicans to react to this — stop complaining that he’s not keeping America safe for the duration of the summit and bitch instead about how he’s not doing enough about pollen, unemployment and alligators in the sewer.
From those of us that inhabit the “Inland Empire” outside of the Beltway, who are these “nonessential Federal employees” the article speaks of? I was assured that my tax dollars would be used by my government in a most efficient manner.
I thought President McGayertron preferred DuPont Circle…
[re=552930]mumblyjoe[/re]: “Obama is secretly plotting to nuke Israel?”
That’s a secret? Obama told us just a few hours ago in his weekly Fatwa at Friday Prayers – didn’t you hear it?
Palin, no doubt, will compare this to the snowmobiles jockeying for position, or changing Trig’s diaper or something fucking retarded.
Will there be hordes of howling ‘baggers, chanting that Obama is setting us for an attack of chemical, biological, or even cyber warfare?
Snow day? Does that mean all Fed employees are to show up for work with rolled-up $5 bills shoved in both nostrils.
[re=552930]mumblyjoe[/re]:
Israel is the most dangerous nuclear power in the mid-east. Hell, with their love of surprise military action they may be the most dangerous nuclear power in the world.
There are not forty countries with nukes! This all part of Nobama’s plan to “Spread the nukes around”. He’s going to show up at this summit and say, “Look under your seats! You’ve got a nuke, and you’ve got a nuke, and you’ve got a nuke!”
[re=552953]chascates[/re]: Cyber warfare? I’ll fucking throw my laptop at those bitches!!!1! My iPhone has a deadly laser app, also.
Woohoo! Snow day means more room on the Metro for my trip to the hotel on Tuesday.
…THE SNOW OF HUMAN ASH
Tough to build a snowman with that, no?
[re=552950]Radiotherapy[/re]: Palin doesn’t change Trig’s diaper. Being the brilliant executive and long-term strategist that she is, she gave birth to a housekeeper and two nannies before she had Trig. Not to mention a brave, selfless, God-fearing “troop” to do her patriotic duty for her.
[re=553013]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Agree. No way that narcissist does the gaggy, changey thing on that kid’s butt. But if offered Murdoch cash money, or if she can use his excrement in some lame, pseudo-folksy analogy with nuclear destruction, this grifter extraordinare will not hesitate to say she wipes his ass.
She is such a stain.
[re=553080]Radiotherapy[/re]: Thank God I ate my dinner more than an hour before I read that! Sad but true. I have felt “grifter” is the perfect term for her ever since I first heard it — and those who kowtow to her are the same ones who are usually taken by grifters.
I hope there will be giant puppets. They’re so effective in causing large scale policy change.
Wait, couldn’t the employees just take Metro? Or, is DC also one of those places where only poor and/or black people take public transit?
[re=553117]LowerdPeninsula[/re]:
No, people of all social strata pretty much take Metro. It’s the lazy ones who drive to areas served by Metro. Laziness transcends class.
[re=553110]Terry[/re]: Or at least an official song, like “We are the World”.
[re=553117]LowerdPeninsula[/re]: Lots of people take the Metro, but it’s chronically underfunded/on the edge of collapse and is fairly overcrowded on a normal day. Add in that it’s tourist season, and that there’ll be lots of additional support people that are going to come with all the dignitaries, and, well. Not pretty. Add in to *that* all the feds that normally drive resorting to public transportation, and we’ll have a clusterfuck of truly epic proportions.
Nice map. Looks like a diagram of Sally Quinn’s varicose veins.
“Boom” goes London,
And Limbaugh sat on the still-breathing Vince Foster where? Answer pursuant to the accepted standards of Western cartography, pigs.
[re=553119]Terry[/re]: [re=553128]m_supercomputer[/re]: Thanks, you two. I took Metro often during our week-long Senior class trip to DC. It actually wasn’t all that crowded when we were there (late May/early June). It was one of the cleanest, best ventilated subway systems I’ve been on, for sure. Loved it. A group of about three of us decided to try and make it to the zoo, missed our stop, and kept going until the area began to start looking a little rougher. lol DC as tourist teens: good times.
I feel that this disater is a ‘necessary evil’. Without it, the phoenix of typical traffic jams cannot rise again. Also, Israel will totally feel like shit for not showing up at the ball, even though they rented the tux(with US tax $$s).
Bibi not coming. Obama might poke him in the eye again for being a jerk to Joey B in Jerusalem.
Sucks to say, but we never had an enemy in the Middle East until we had an ally in the Middle East.
[re=552930]mumblyjoe[/re]: Well, I’m not sure why the US wouldn’t use ICBMs or submarine launched nuclear missiles on whatever country in the Middle East that was being a sufficient jackass at the time, be it Israel, Iran, Syria, or Pakistan. I also imagine that any Middle Eastern country with nukes would go all out with little warning. The logic might be that any nukes not launched immediately would be instead destroyed by other nukes themselves in their launch silos launched by US submarines stationed in the area. Giving a warning for an imminent launch might also be earn one a nuke detonated in the upper atmosphere above any nuclear weapons launch site, for the EMP.
While a nuclear weapon used at ground will have EMP effects, the meaningful effects will only extend into areas with a significant blast wave and an expected casualty rate of more than 75%. This would be an area where being unable to use your iPhone would be the least of your worries and where rescue workers who want to live will probably not enter to assist trapped victims. It probably doesn’t pay to attempt to rescue survivors who have received a lethal dose of radiation dose and risk a large dose of radiation of their own. This may change if the rescue workers who work in the area are one of the “walking dead” and will die in a few days anyway due to their own lethal dose.
If I lived in the McCollough Terrace Apartment, I would be so pissed right now I would light my shoes on fire.
[re=552935]comicbookguy[/re]: [re=553221]Exterminatus[/re]: According to my Nuclear Bomb Effects Computer (official DoD issue, even though it is circular slide rule kinda thingie), the fireball from a one megaton ground burst is about one nautical mile across.
That’s just the fireball. The blast/overpressure/flashburn radii are much, much larger.
Nowadays, though, a one megaton warhead is relatively rare. The “standard” maximum is only around 300 KT (e.g., the W78 and W87 series). But most deployed warheads are dialed in to a slightly lower yield, say about 250 KT.
But those are strategic warheads. The more likely scenario is a terrorist “suitcase” bomb. The “standard” for this would be something along the lines of the old W54 warhead that was incorporated into the Special Atomic Demolition Munition (SADM). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special_Atomic_Demolition_Munition
That had a yield of between 10 Tons and 1 KT. Barely a firecracker, really.
The bottom line: You need to get those Teabaggers to crowd in as close as possible to the detonation point. Implosion technology (particular for two point devices) as gotten a lot better since the W54 was designed back in the late 1950s. But you can’t count on some Mooslim foreigner using the best plans.
Also, given that the “brain material” of most of the target audience has the density exceeding that of solid lead (or even neutronium), you can’t count on as much radiation damage as otherwise. Heck, Sarah Palin’s head might make a great blockhouse wall.
Oh, man, I feel old: There’s an online version of the old NBEC:
http://www.fourmilab.ch/cgi-bin/Bombcalc?yield=9&yunit=1000&range=3&runit=1&rotate=0&imsize=800
Looks like a 10 KT ground burst from a SADM-type device would produce a fireball around .1 mile. Nothing, really. If you’re going to be down by the Potomac, bring an umbrella and some SP 40 rayblock.
Oh, and the Ray Bans.
WayFarer Classics, obviously.
ohhhhhhh nuclear no Destroyed it is bad for the human life or Politics. if offered Murdoch cash money, or if she can use his excrement in some lame, pseudo-folksy analogy with nuclear destruction.
http://www.fpolitics.com/
[re=553293]seoramsagar[/re]: Commenter of the year?
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