Typical communist/PETA fanatic.Poor old Tom Coburn was a wingnut proto-teabagger Republican Hero until the other day, when he went INSANE and told a crowd of morons they should maybe not be so hateful and personal about politics, when reasonable people can disagree, etc., and Nancy Pelosi is actually a “nice lady.” Wonkette op-art contributor Lauri Apple takes Coburn’s transformation to its only logical conclusion, and you must see it.

This should be Tom Coburn's official portrait.
See more of Lauri Apple’s art at her Trend Pieces website or right here at Wonkette.

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  • SayItWithWookies

    That’s just wrong. Those poor cats.

  • Troubledog

    On the wall, is that a dreamcatcher or a thigh harness?

  • Snarko Marx

    No Subaru Forester in the picture? S/he must be a hetero cat lady.

  • facehead

    That is so disturbing, I might just have to get back to work.

    Nice tits.

  • Hamster

    Bitchin’ …is that a circa 1970’s macrame owl?

  • BlueStateLiberal

    Oh, look at those sweet sensitive eyes! And his complexion is so smooth and clear! Way to go, Tom!

  • JMP

    Wouldn’t a lesbian have dogs, not cats?

    Coburn’s biggest crime, beyond even calling Pelosi nice, was telling the crowd to get their news from sources other than Fox. He’s dead to them now.

  • Crank Tango

    today, we are all lesbian cat ladies. Truth be told, I wasn’t that far off anyway. Except for the dick having.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=551399]Troubledog[/re]: The answer is “both,” obvs.

  • Scruffy_The_Janitor

    That’s a man baby!!!!!!!

  • Radiotherapy

    I get it! There is no FLAT screen.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0
  • Capitol Hillbilly

    [re=551402]Hamster[/re]: I think it’s a dildo cozy.

  • freakishlystrong

    Lauri is awesome; she even captured that contemplative look he gets while he’s blocking unemployment extensions. Kudos.

  • x111e7thst

    Tommi Coburn was a nigger.
    Jesus Christ and Grandma, too

  • Lazy Media

    Needs moar cheezburgers.

  • Brendan M.

    The problem with painting such a lovely and flattering portrait is that by the time the paint has dried Coburn proved that he is most assuredly a sociopathic asshole, momentary decency and sanity notwithstanding.

  • Radiotherapy

    Wait, the lesbian cat lady is a family practice doctor who specializes in Ob-Gyn and has had cancer, reportidly, twice. Even though there is nothing funny about cancer, that would explain the mastectomy appearance of the left chest.

  • An Outhouse

    He could share a place with the other lesbian cat lady, Joe Lieberman.

  • geminisunmars

    But is that a key around his/her neck? What’s that for? The Forester?

  • Lauri Apple

    [re=551402]Hamster[/re]: Indeed it is.

  • Lauri Apple

    [re=551439]geminisunmars[/re]: Oh, that’s an Oklahoma commemorative necklace. It says “OK.”

  • Red Zeppelin

    Needs moar plaid.

  • Hamster

    [re=551428]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: I get the feeling everything in that room is a dildo cozy, including the cats.

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    I hope Fleshbot posts pics of the lesbian cats.

  • Mr Blifil

    Could use a Hopi Dream Catcher mayhap…

  • germansteel

    Needz moar bible. Tom’s a deacon, counsellor to horny C Street Republicans everywhere. And, bribe bag lady, to boot.

  • hoosiermama

    [re=551459]Mr Blifil[/re]: That needs to be a macrame owl wall hanging, plz.

  • Whiskeybaby

    television cat frightens me.

  • Mr Blifil

    [re=551459]Mr Blifil[/re]: Try this one Mr. Lickspittle Smarty Poop-in-your-own-pants…

  • TGY

    Hello Kitty?

  • Aquannissiwamissoo

    Andrea Dworkin also got me hot …

  • One Yield Regular

    I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again, Wonkette. Enough with the faux-iPod awards for caption & blingee contests. Can we haz Lauri Apple painting?

  • What Fresh Hell is This?

    So, you ask, what does Tom Coburn say on this contagious subject? Let’s turn back the clock to October 12, 2004.

    “Lesbianism is so rampant in some of the schools in southeast Oklahoma that they’ll only let one girl go to the bathroom. Now think about it. Think about that issue. How is it that that’s happened to us?”


    I’d hit that. The guy, or the woman, but not that cats. Won’t have nothing to do with the cats.

  • weejee

    Since Tommie is up for re-election, if he losses will he become a bag lady?

  • Aurelio

    [re=551412]JMP[/re]: Wouldn’t a lesbian have dogs, not cats?
    Dogs are out, ever since that unpleasantness with the Presa Canarios in San Francisco.

  • snideinplainsight

    [re=551481]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: Geez! How do I find thes “southeast Oregon” place? Sounds cool to me!

  • Aurelio

    [re=551486]snideinplainsight[/re]: It’s southeast Oklahoma, and you don’t wanna go there, not even for the hot lesbian action.

  • user-of-owls

    This, my friends, is agit-prop at its finest.

  • Advocatus_Diaboli

    [re=551481]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: I can haz fap fap thoughts?

  • user-of-owls

    [re=551486]snideinplainsight[/re]: Alas, it’s “southeast Oklahoma” you’re pining for…and I can tell you from experience that it is somewhat different than “southeast Oregon”…rampant lesbianism notwithstanding.

  • Aquannissiwamissoo

    My secret Barbara Bain fetish is now complete.

  • Larry McAwful

    Any cat lover has my vote.

  • weejee

    [re=551488]Aurelio[/re]: [re=551486]snideinplainsight[/re]: Yes, the real action is just across the border in De Queen, Arkansas.

  • Speed Ball

    [re=551431]freakishlystrong[/re]: The cat by his right arm has same look on its face. Wrinkle on brow, thoughtful.

  • GOPCrusher

    Even the cats seem to be suffering from soul-crushing depression.

  • comicbookguy

    Tom Coburn is a nice lady.

  • inedalo

    maybe coburn wants to run for Prez? he’s a doctor, ain’t he? and could perform lots of abortions in the White House.
    remember, you catholics out there- if men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.

  • Speed Ball

    When Calico dies, Tom immediately replaces with identical Calico, and gives it the same name. This is how he keeps going.

  • DemmeFatale

    DustBowl, where are you?

  • Aurelio

    Tom Coburn…told a crowd of morons they should maybe not be so hateful and personal about politics.

    What’s this? Tom looks like a bull dyke, but inside he’s really a femme? What kind of sexual orientation is THAT? I haz a confused.

  • Accordion-o-rama

    [re=551481]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: To be fair, that comment was just before the 2004 elections when the GOP theme was “Gays will kill us all”. Here’s a time line:

    2000: Blow jobs will kill us all

    2002: Iraqis will kill us all

    2004: Gays will kill us all

    2006: Peaceniks will kill us all

    2008: The negro will kill us all

    2010: Socialists will kill us all

  • Aurelio

    [re=551559]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: Okay, here’s your straight line: What will the theme be in 2011?

  • DustBowlBlues

    [re=551481]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: Yay. You got it in. Remembered when it happened. “8 ft. Lesbian Attacks Little Dixie.”

  • DustBowlBlues

    When he had the momentary lapse into semi-decency, I told you guys not to take it seriously. Wasn’t he attacking Rachel Maddow last night? So even mavericky Tom has to suck the Faux News dick.

  • ella

    He looks like every gym teacher I ever had. Even the nuns.

  • the problem child

    [re=551428]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: [i] Empty [/i] dildo cozy.

  • Beanball

    [re=551620]the problem child[/re]: Don’t use the bracket “[” thingie, use the sideways carat “<” thingie. (Drop the quote marks, obvs.)

    [i] = [i]


    HTML magic!

  • Beanball

    [re=551684]Beanball[/re]: Whoa!

    i = i


  • sanantonerose

    Lauri, you really have a way of capturing the eyes.

  • Mostly_Harmless

    I heart this illustration.

  • jagorev

    This was amazing

  • heathenish

    [re=551482]BOOBIES![/re]: Is there ANYthing on the planet you WOULDN’T hit? I probably don’t want to know what that might be, though.

  • Jukesgrrl

    I was anticipating a Coburn smackdown from Rachel Maddow tonight, but Lauri beat her to it.

  • Darkness

    [re=551562]Aurelio[/re]: [re=551559]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: Hm. . .

    2012 Lawyers will kill us all

    2012 Taxes will kill us all (This seems most likely. Kicking the financial can down the road is a republican speciality)

    2012 Aliens will kill us all (green or mexican, or mexican with a salsa verde, if you prefer)

    Other than the repubs know damn well who is buttering their bread, i’d say 2012 the Chinese bankers will kill us all

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