SLAVES? SAYS WHO?  9:26 am April 7, 2010

Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell Just Wants To Celebrate the Confederacy

by Ken Layne

Is it so WRONG to wear a cone-hat and sheet and murder black people?New wingnut governor of Virginia Bob McDonnell simply wants to celebrate the rich tradition and noble spirit of the SLAVE OWNERS who fought for years against their own country, the United State of America, so they could continue to use human beings as free labor, because that was the entire Southern Economy, plus you got to rape the slaves at night, and then kill them if they “caused trouble.” Why are liberal socialists making a big deal out of this? Is there anything in the Constitution about blacks being people? EXACTLY.

The Washington Post reports:

McDonnell said Tuesday that the move was designed to promote tourism in the state, which next year will mark the 150th anniversary of the start of the war. McDonnell said he did not include a reference to slavery because “there were any number of aspects to that conflict between the states. Obviously, it involved slavery. It involved other issues. But I focused on the ones I thought were most significant for Virginia.”

Tourism! Of course. The KKK loves to take a road trip, as long as that doesn’t involve leaving the Commonwealth. [Washington Post]

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WELCOME THRILLHO April 7, 2010 at 9:35 am

Let this be our reminder that Virginia keeps going once you pass the Pentagon City Costco.

TGY April 7, 2010 at 9:35 am

This would be the War of Northern Aggression I hear so much about.

Manos: Hands of Fate April 7, 2010 at 9:36 am

“McDonnell said he did not include a reference to slavery because “there were any number of aspects to that conflict between the states.”

Cause countries fight bloody and violent civil wars over finer points of constitutional theory.

WestEdEd April 7, 2010 at 9:37 am

“This should keep that coon north of the Potomac.”

You know that’s what he’s hoping.

bureaucrap April 7, 2010 at 9:37 am

Virginia is for bondage-lovers.

WestEdEd April 7, 2010 at 9:38 am

Next week, Holocaust month, because McD is upset that the hebe didn’t take the hint when he shotn out his window.

CankleBiter April 7, 2010 at 9:38 am

Just another reason to move out suburban hellhole. Back to DC for me

norbizness April 7, 2010 at 9:39 am

We have “Confederate Heroes Day” in Texas, which is a state holiday. Weirdly, it usually falls on the same week as MLK Day.

Nope, not a joke.

bhosp April 7, 2010 at 9:40 am

[re=550153]WELCOME THRILLHO[/re]: That’s the most ominous warning I’ve ever heard about the state where I was born. Seriously, chills up my spine. “Abandon hope, all y’all who enter here.”

ManchuCandidate April 7, 2010 at 9:43 am

Members of my Korean family served in the Imperial Japanese Armed Forces during WW2 (not like they had a choice really.) No, my family doesn’t really like to talk about it. We were on the side that lost (again, we didn’t have much of a choice, but that’s not important), the end.
You don’t see me screaming “Banzi” dressed up like Tojo while waving a Samurai sword and a Nambu Pistol on like say Beating up white limeys at Singapore day, do you? Well, only when the meds wear off but that’s not the point here.

My point is that the Confederates were the US American equivalent of the Brits/French/Spanish/Philippines/Germans/Turks/Italians/Japanese/Nazis/Commies etc… You know, the enemy US America had to stomp the shit out of to get its way.

Be better to treat it as a family footnote rarely talked about at reunions instead of a celebration of white male inadequacy/lazy by enslaving the black man to do the work.

freakishlystrong April 7, 2010 at 9:43 am

That should make it extra fun, (and Caucasian!), for that neat-o loaded gun rally they’re having on April 19. They can just go ahead and wear the sheets now.

Terry April 7, 2010 at 9:43 am


Exactly. Barbed wire across the Potomac River bridges.

PineyWoodster April 7, 2010 at 9:45 am

>McDonnell said Tuesday that the move was designed to promote tourism in the state

Do traitor-fetishists really have that much money to spend, compared to the folks who will avoid Virginia because of this loser-rebel-loving proclamation?

I think someone didn’t do a cost-benefit analysis on this.

Ruhe April 7, 2010 at 9:46 am

Just to be clear…you’re going to boost your tourism sector by;
1) appealing to confederacy honks (a kind of furry or cosplayer I guess) who as a class barely have enough disposable income for cigs and ammo let alone vacations (if you’re on disability/unemployment is it really a vacation?), and
2) shouting a hearty screw you to a large portion of your own constituency and reasonable, history cognizant people everywhere.

Now that’s what I call a double down sandwich!

mumblyjoe April 7, 2010 at 9:46 am

Virginia is for lovers (of slavery) (in every possible sense).

ForTheTurnstiles April 7, 2010 at 9:47 am

Living in Fairfax for now and for the foreseeable future. In one direction from our place is the NRA world headquarters. In another direction is a house where the nutter owner likes to fly the old Apartheid-era South African flag, or the Christian Identity flag, or whatever creepy racist thing he might have stolen at the swap meet. I had thought it impossible, but I am nostalgic for *IDAHO*.

JMP April 7, 2010 at 9:48 am

It’s kind of hard to trust a governor who openly celebrates treason; unfortunately he’s not the only one.

Hey, I have ancestors who fought for the bad guys in the Civil War, too; but unlike dipsits like McDonnell, I feel proper shame over it.

Miss Crabbypants April 7, 2010 at 9:48 am

Used to say “elections have consequences.” Now it’s “elections have consequences, boy.”

Decker April 7, 2010 at 9:49 am

My most notable experience with tourism in VA was on a trip from Ohio to the Outer Banks. We stopped for gas in Richmond, where I watched a woman drive away from a gas pump with the hose still attached. Then during lunch at McDonald’s, where my daughter stepped in actual human excrement at their Playland. We had pulled into McD’s because of a flat tire, which I changed after packing and unpacking the back of the car to get our spare. On our way through western VA, the highway patrol stopped me for speeding.

I wouldn’t go back to Virginia even if they were smart enough to NOT elect a racist, homophobic misogynist for Governor. Which they’re not.

Doglessliberal April 7, 2010 at 9:49 am

My husband noted: “we are a State that venerates Stonewall Jackson’s right arm.”

(true story–the gravestone, for the arm, is out at the Wilderness Battlefield.)

Doglessliberal April 7, 2010 at 9:53 am

[re=550162]norbizness[/re]: We have “Lee-Jackson Day” (the Commonwealth is closed that day, courts and all) which used to be celebrated the same day as MLK Day, which VA reluctantly adopted.

Cicada April 7, 2010 at 9:55 am

This is why Virginia didn’t even make the list if possible places to live when I moved to D.C. Sure, there was that brief shining time when it looked like NoVA would prevail, but the southern part of the state managed to drag them all back kicking and screaming.

Boo, Virginia, Booooooooo!!! I will not be partaking of your lower sales-tax rate lest those monies be used for the oppression of the gays or the celebration of racists. Good day to you!

queeraselvis v 2.0 April 7, 2010 at 9:56 am

WHEREAS, Virginia has long recognized her Confederate history, the numerous civil war battlefields that mark every region of the state, the leaders and individuals in the Army, Navy and at home who fought for their homes and communities and Commonwealth in a time very different than ours today;

Translation: Back in the good old days when nigras were docile, hard-working, obedient, 3/5ths of a person-types who knew their proper place, weren’t uppity, didn’t make trouble, or object to being lynched at a moment’s notice. *whistles Dixie*

Doglessliberal April 7, 2010 at 9:56 am

[re=550185]Cicada[/re]: I live in Alexandria. I really, really, really, really want Alex, Arl, FFx to cecede and be the State of No Va.

Prommie April 7, 2010 at 9:56 am

It was all about aids to navigation, them southerners just weren’t going to put up with a federal government that built lighthouses. This slavery thing, its a lie, Yankee propaganda.

HipHopOpotamus April 7, 2010 at 10:00 am

Ah, it’s times like these that I’m lucky to have a yankee mother who makes up for my confederate father.

CrunchyKnee April 7, 2010 at 10:01 am

Today we are all Boss Hog.

donner_froh April 7, 2010 at 10:02 am

Who could object to month long festival recalling armed rebellion against the duly elected government that led to death, destitution and destruction across the state that is celebrating?

JMP April 7, 2010 at 10:03 am

[re=550162]norbizness[/re]: “Confederate Heroes Day”? Weird; what do they do on a holiday to set aside a classification that contains absolutely nobody?

Aguacatero April 7, 2010 at 10:05 am

Demon treason-and-slavery loving sheep reveals beady red eyes, but it’s too late to do anything about it! Republicans win the morning!

freakishlystrong April 7, 2010 at 10:05 am

[re=550187]Doglessliberal[/re]: Nah, let them secede and take Texas with em’.

bureaucrap April 7, 2010 at 10:06 am

[re=550187]Doglessliberal[/re]: I’ve been saying since 1823 that retrocession of the western half of the federal district is a terrible idea. We in the district will take you back, if you promise to make us a decent woman (i.e., a state with full voting rights).

norbizness April 7, 2010 at 10:06 am

[re=550184]Doglessliberal[/re]: Yes, but Texas is so crazy that we were fighting battles after the South officially surrendered.

But, you know, it’s just like Germany has that Joachim von Ribbentrop Day.

Cicada April 7, 2010 at 10:07 am

[re=550187]Doglessliberal[/re]: I felt so bad for you folks when McDonnell and Cuccinelli won. Yeah, sure you’re a “moderate” McDonnell. Riiiiiggght.

norbizness April 7, 2010 at 10:08 am

“Confederate Heroes Day combines Robert E. Lee’s Birthday and Jefferson Davis’s Birthday, into one official holiday.” Here are the other states that have such rememberances:

Terry April 7, 2010 at 10:10 am


Well, before the Civil War, a good bit of that area was DC. Virginia took it back, so you’re stuck.

JMP April 7, 2010 at 10:10 am

[re=550199]norbizness[/re]: Hell, unlike the rest of the South Texas betrayed and seceded from two nations to protect its precious slavery.

Cape Clod April 7, 2010 at 10:11 am

I propose that the Union states celebrate Burning of Richomd Day. If the cackers complain about, then we just inform them that it was something they did themselves.

mamandesfilles April 7, 2010 at 10:12 am

When is Reconstruction month?

Mr Blifil April 7, 2010 at 10:12 am

When I visited Dachau a while back, it was clear that extermination of the Jews was only part of the story. For instance, did you know that during the 12th century, Dachau was used as a summer residence by several Bavarian princes? UND AUS MICH NIGHT!!11!

ella April 7, 2010 at 10:14 am

Next, he’ll reinstate Carry Me Back to Old Virginny as the state song.

Kathryn. April 7, 2010 at 10:16 am

I grew up in Pennsylvania, but after I went to college, my parents moved to Virginia. On my first trip to the town that was their new home, I got off the plane and didn’t walk more than 50 feet inside the airport before seeing a huge mural dedicated to Pat Robertson and The 700 Club, whose headquarters are located about half an hour from my parents’ house.

Fuck Virginia.

The Little Rock April 7, 2010 at 10:17 am

As a group, southerners tend to tout their patriotism more than others. One thing I will never understand though (and I spent the first 25 years of my life in the south) is the dual embrace of the confederacy. The confederate secession is the greatest instance of treason in American history. Very patriotic indeed.

Mr Blifil April 7, 2010 at 10:17 am

[re=550177]JMP[/re]: Yeah, but the jaunty haircut, c’mon. He’s not abrasive! Probably a golfer, moderate beer drinker, pulls out a cigar every now and again, to relax. Predictable but never drab sartorial style, doesn’t “put on airs.” He doesn’t sweat the small stuff, like the fact that many descendants of slaves are his constituents.

JMP April 7, 2010 at 10:17 am

[re=550201]norbizness[/re]: Uh, someone should tell them they made a big mistake in the name; Lee and Davis are what are called “villains”, which is in fact the exact opposite of “heroes”.

The Huffington Pogue April 7, 2010 at 10:17 am

It’s a banner day for the Party of Lincoln.

norbizness April 7, 2010 at 10:20 am

[re=550205]JMP[/re]: We are kind of awesome, it’s true.

Ducksworthy April 7, 2010 at 10:21 am

[re=550166]ManchuCandidate[/re]: No No That would be the reasonable response. The Baggery response is to foster resentment, forever. (because how else are you going to cope with the obvious continuing inadequacy and stupidity). Its just like how the Serbs dealt with their loss to the Ottomans at the Battle of Kosovo in 1389. This long standing grievance against the Muslins justified the slaughter of the Bosnians at Serbrenica som 600 years later. Same mentality. Treasure your resentments for political power.

P Drizzle April 7, 2010 at 10:22 am

Mark Sanford is so jealous he didn’t think of this first.

Prommie April 7, 2010 at 10:24 am

[re=550207]Cape Clod[/re]: April 3, we just missed it, the anniversary of the burning of Richmond. The blacks of Richmond used to celebrate that day as “Emancipation Day.” But I like “Burning of Richmond” day better.

Buzz Feedback April 7, 2010 at 10:26 am

Maybe Hopey can proclaim Tet Offensive Month.

Doglessliberal April 7, 2010 at 10:27 am

[re=550197]bureaucrap[/re]: if it were up to me, done deal.

JSDC007 April 7, 2010 at 10:28 am

In other news, South Africa declares every other Friday “Apartheid Fun Day,” and Germany to honor the Bakers of Auschwitz.

coolcatdaddy April 7, 2010 at 10:28 am

One of my ancestors was dragged off by the Confederates to fight. He just ran away and went home.

He lived to be 103 and thought the whole thing was a stupid idea.

x111e7thst April 7, 2010 at 10:29 am

[re=550162]norbizness[/re]: Clearly we did not burn Texas thoroughly enough during the War of Northern Agression. Here is hoping we do a better job next time.

What Fresh Hell is This? April 7, 2010 at 10:29 am

Some “old times” are best forgotten.

My Confederate ancestors were too noble (read “poor”) to own slaves, and “The War” totally screwed my family. My great-great-whatever and two of his brothers were interned at Camp Douglas, the Yankee Andersonville. Two of the three died there.

I asked Shelby Foote why my ancestors, who didn’t have a dog in the fight, joined the Rebel army. He said: “They were drafted.”

Let’s celebrate August 2 as “Gulf of Tonkin Day” in honor of America’s great achievement in ‘Nam. “Da Nang is For Lovers.”

BOOBIES! April 7, 2010 at 10:29 am

I can’t wait to celebrate John Wilkes Booth day in Virginia. Booth murdered Republican President Lincoln and Virginia is pissing on the legacy of the GOP’s most popular President.

Cogito Ergo Bibo April 7, 2010 at 10:31 am

If he had any balls or true appreciation of Virginia history, he’d bring back “Lee-Jackson-King Day” and completely throw any semblance of reasonable thought out the window. Pussy.

natoslug April 7, 2010 at 10:39 am

[re=550176]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Please don’t be. Idaho (the Panhandle, at least) is returning to its former glory. And by glory, I mean the racists, homophobes and other shitbags are crawling out of the woods and going more public again. Hayden’s Aryan Nations chapter did a fine job providing 30 years of social regression last week during its protest of Human Rights. Did you know that Human Rights actually means forced homosexuality, communism, and support of non-white crimes? If only I could convince Canada to re-enact Sherman’s “March to the Sea,” only this time as a March to Boise.

tencentcomic April 7, 2010 at 10:39 am

Report from the Yankee Enclave of Northern Virginia…. To all of you confederate wannabees south of the Occoquan River. The Old Dominion is filling up–top down–with libruls, brown-skinned people, furrenners, arabs, demoncrats, white collaborators, decendents of Union veterans and other so-called uppity modern people. Your time is limited. Move further south.

WadISay April 7, 2010 at 10:40 am

McDonnell could solve his problem by issuing two proclamations: Confederate History Month; and Slavery and Treason Month, thus separating the concepts, duh.

dixiecrax April 7, 2010 at 10:41 am

Many great Confederate soldiers–Robert E. Lee, John S. Mosby, Andy Griffth–believed that once the war was over, it should be forgotten.

Oldskool April 7, 2010 at 10:42 am

Sountherners have a huge inferiority complex and constantly act out, just like Republicans.

NJB April 7, 2010 at 10:42 am

Maybe we in the North should celebrate “Sherman’s March to the Sea” month and see how the barefoot, toothless goobers in Southern Virginny like them apples.

mumblyjoe April 7, 2010 at 10:45 am

[re=550236]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: Now, let’s not be completely unfair- thanks to the social effects of slavery, it’s not as though every white southern poor had no dog in the fight. I remember in an AP American History class, we got to read the memoire of one such dirt-farming southern poor, who explained that even though he didn’t own slaves, personally, it was still reassuring to know that somewhere, somehow, another human being was owned like property. Because it meant he wasn’t the lowest rung of society’s totem pole!

Big Liver April 7, 2010 at 10:45 am

Are these militia celebrations on the anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing intended to show support of it? Just asking.

PabaBritannica April 7, 2010 at 10:50 am

I especially like how I got an email informing me of this yesterday from the gov himself (state employee here, thank god i have an iphone to type this!)

Who all’s been to our STONEWALL JACKSON SHRINE? No really, has anyone seen this? I imagine it as a pagoda with the old Confed general propped up inside, shellacked in gold.

Prommie April 7, 2010 at 10:52 am

To me, “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down” isn’t a sad song.

ForTheTurnstiles April 7, 2010 at 10:53 am

[re=550242]natoslug[/re]: Yeah. When I left Moscow (“the Berkeley of Idaho”), it was slowly being taken over by a wingnut church called “the Kirk” but the job wasn’t done yet… and the Aryan Nations types were still in jail. Sigh.

Vermonster April 7, 2010 at 10:54 am

Wow. Had no idea stuff like that still went on. The rednecks around here are only upset about flatlanders coming in from out of state (who are usually white, most people of color last a few years and then say, man, way too cold/isolated here, I’m moving south), but srsly, celebrating the dudes who lost the civil war? And were racist slave owners? Pick some better role models.

Capitalist War Machine April 7, 2010 at 10:54 am

Gotta love how I get lectured about patriotism by my Confederate-worshiping Virginian relatives. Doublethink is fun.

What Fresh Hell is This? April 7, 2010 at 10:55 am

[re=550249]mumblyjoe[/re]: Good point. The whole country was run by a bunch of J. Roby Penn IV’s and the rest of us were treated like Messicans (or Irish-persons).

Ken Layne April 7, 2010 at 10:56 am

[re=550166]ManchuCandidate[/re]: “You don’t see me screaming “Banzi” dressed up like Tojo while waving a Samurai sword and a Nambu Pistol on like say Beating up white limeys at Singapore day, do you?”

If we *did* see you do that, you would be the STAR OF YOUTUBE.

Anyway, the spirit of George Allen rides again, chasing coloreds.

Terry April 7, 2010 at 10:57 am


….and fostering the great tradition of Separate But Equal.

Oldskool April 7, 2010 at 10:59 am

[re=550254]PabaBritannica[/re]: Haven’t seen it but the one in Stone Mtn is enormous. That generation’s overcompensating Hummer.

DC Hates Me April 7, 2010 at 11:00 am

[re=550243]tencentcomic[/re]: Trust me when I say this, but NoVA isn’t as modern as it seems. Liberals, gays, foreigners, brown-skinned people need to know that serious intimidation and discrimination exists in many parts of their suburban, mini-golf fantasy world.

S.Luggo April 7, 2010 at 11:09 am

“Whereas, the Civil War was the last time Virginia didn’t beg like a salivating poodle for federal earmarks;”

Norbert April 7, 2010 at 11:12 am

Virginia Skids: You’ve come not really very far at all, have you, baby?

JMP April 7, 2010 at 11:12 am

[re=550250]Big Liver[/re]: Apparently yes. But remember, it’s alarmist and hateful to say there’s a threat of right-wing domestic terrorism!

SayItWithWookies April 7, 2010 at 11:15 am

This is just a prelude to Opposing Reconstruction Month, then Separate But Equal Month, then Massive Resistance Month. Of course, these celebrate Virginia heritage and have nothing whatsoever to do with the Commonwealth’s shameful history of prejudice and oppression or any celebration of or nostalgia therefor. And while there’s a movement to declare a Reluctantly Joining the Civilized and Non-Prejudiced World month, but that’s still riddled with controversy.

Jumping Jim April 7, 2010 at 11:16 am

[re=550272]Oldskool[/re]: The thing that amuses about the Stone Mountain area is that it has become an African American enclave within a short drive to the biggest tribute to the Confederacy and its leaders.

This is a weird, weird country.

Prommie April 7, 2010 at 11:18 am

In the end, weren’t those confederates just goober-eating surrender monkeys?

S.Luggo April 7, 2010 at 11:19 am

[re=550297]SayItWithWookies[/re]: And in celebration of Booby McD.’s massive cuts to public education funding, “Book Learnin’ Is Over Rated” month.

G. Friday April 7, 2010 at 11:22 am

[re=550187]Doglessliberal[/re]: Add the District, PG and Montgomery counties, and we’d have one of the richest states in the nation, and solve the DC statehood problem, to boot. We could call it “Metrorail-land”

VaWyo April 7, 2010 at 11:39 am

Douglass is right. We can do it. The western part of the start did it and become West Virginia. We can be North Virginia.

Wouldn’t it be great? The roads would get fixed and we would no longer live in the same state as Liberty University and Regent University. We’d have to make sure the line is drawn before Loudoun, we don’t want that third wingnut faux college for homeschool freaks in Purcellville in our state.

RoscoePColtraine April 7, 2010 at 11:42 am

“Fiddle-ee-dee. I’m so happy that tonight I’d dance with Abe Lincoln himself.”

chaste everywhere April 7, 2010 at 11:42 am

Can we combine eco-tourism and eco-terrorism to invent something like terro-tourism, and try it out down thar right now?

PS What kind of moron makes an announcement like this on the 6th of the month? Did he forget to mention it last week or did it just come to him? Oh, and I hereby declare today National Christopher Speight Gets Indicted in Appomattox Day

and the day after tomorrow National Confederate Surrender Day, in perpetual honor of The Biggest Losers.

imissopus April 7, 2010 at 11:43 am

So since McDonnell’s inauguration, my native state has brought back Confederate History Month and his AG has both sued the federal government over health care reform and ordered public universities to end policies banning discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. I don’t think I have any snark about this, I’m too pissed off about this guy and I haven’t even lived there for fifteen years.

NJB April 7, 2010 at 11:55 am

[re=550257]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: I love the synergy, since Berkeley is the Moscow of California.

djeremy April 7, 2010 at 12:00 pm

If Virginia can celebrate the Confederacy as a way of increasing tourism, maybe Germany can increase tourism with a celebration of the Third Reich.

Heywood Jablome April 7, 2010 at 12:01 pm

[re=550236]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: All my ancestry (‘cept me) is from the “great” state of Mississippi and my direct antecedant died at Vicksburg, heroically shitting his life away with amoebic dysentery.

Despite the fact he was from Jones County aka “The Free State of Jones” which had negligible slave holding.

And all so his wife and two small children could struggle to farm 80 acres through reconstruction. Now that’s something to celebrate.

comicbookguy April 7, 2010 at 12:02 pm

Is there a way to combine the Confederate celebration, the armed 2nd amendment march, and then throw a bunch of firecrackers in the middle of ‘em?

SayItWithWookies April 7, 2010 at 12:06 pm

[re=550319]chaste everywhere[/re]: Oh, and speaking of Appomattox — and in the spirit of encouraging some remembrance of what things were really like in Confederate Virginia beyond the frat-boy level nostalgia — I visited Appomattox Courthouse just outside of the town of Appomattox one weekend. I walked, since my car was in the shop and I had some spare time, and so parallelled the route Lee and his few thousand remaining troops took to the town.

At the visitors’ center I purchased an incredible book that I highly recommend — it’s called Weevils in the Wheat — and is collected oral histories of ex-slaves — some of them are hilarious, many are terribly sad and shameful, many reveal touching details that bring home what a different and terrible world that really was. How someone could celebrate it — and so obliviously as McDonnell does — takes a massive dose of myopia. Anyway, buy it and read it — it’s broken down into many individual narratives, so it can be digested in small doses.

Oh, and how is it that all these slave narratives were finally written down and assembled together? During the Depression, the WPA hired writers to perform that task — so socialism remembers the real history of the people. Whereas the overly romanticized white supremacist version of history can go f*ck itself.

djeremy April 7, 2010 at 12:12 pm

What’s next? Germany to increase tourism with celebrations of the Third Reich?!

PabaBritannica April 7, 2010 at 12:16 pm

I’m glad to say most of my family was in union-controlled Kentucky or West Virginia, which seems odd considering how backwoods both places are outside Lexington, N. Kentucky by Cincy, and Louisville. Then again we were *that* close to probably being in w/ the retards down south anyway.

justthisonce April 7, 2010 at 12:22 pm

Virginia is for haters.

Darkness April 7, 2010 at 12:23 pm

[re=550187]Doglessliberal[/re]: Being the proper confederate types they are, the south of the state should be in full support of your wishes. Right?

tencentcomic April 7, 2010 at 12:24 pm

[re=550275]DC Hates Me[/re]: Yes, and two of those assholes live in my neighborhood and display their “Don’t Tread on Me” fantasy patriot flags. One of them is an investment banker. Nice to see that the rich and powerful still want to keep the illusion alive for the crackers.

Darkness April 7, 2010 at 12:31 pm

[re=550256]Prommie[/re]: Yeah they CLAIM they are all for a strong national defense, but get their asses kicked by one and all they do is whine . . . for CENTURIES. Get over it already. And if you can’t get over it, at least get a fucking clue about how pissed off places like Vietnam, Iraq, large parts of Central America . . . rightfully are and will be about the same kind of “aggression”. Dipshits.

Gumboz1953 April 7, 2010 at 12:33 pm

[re=550247]NJB[/re]: I’m still hoping that Russia sees the error of its ways and attacks the OTHER Georgia.

Gumboz1953 April 7, 2010 at 12:34 pm

They made the horse wear a sheet too?

Was it black, perhaps?

El Pinche April 7, 2010 at 12:35 pm

I’ve been to Va. Lynchburg is very pretty, but Hangingnigger is more middle Amerikkka. But nothing compares to Bucktoothincestretardville, Va, though with its rolling hills and churches.

S.Luggo April 7, 2010 at 12:36 pm

[re=550335]djeremy[/re]: Virginia and The Fatherland had something very much in common: use of slave labor. However, the German industrialists did have a plausible excuse for this practice: they were only obeying orders.


GOPCrusher April 7, 2010 at 12:39 pm

To complete the celebration, will trenches be dug around Petersburg and artillery shells lobbed into it for a few months?
I’d probably pay 5 bucks to check that out.

Pandy April 7, 2010 at 12:42 pm

[re=550249]mumblyjoe[/re]: that is the ONLY reason why racism exists today…and why some fight so hard to defend it.

comicbookguy April 7, 2010 at 12:42 pm

[re=550378]El Pinche[/re]: Everyone says that until they’ve been to IshotMLKburg, which is where you go when you’re tired of the tourist traps.

scooterKPFT April 7, 2010 at 12:46 pm

I remember the Civil War. My people are all from Union States. We slaughtered about thirty percent of the southern male population, (probably all first cousins) then stole all their shit. I’m all for the South risin’ again. Beats workin.

I’m in Texas now, Texas knows how to fight a Civil War. They go “rah rah rah, Stars and Bars forever”, then kick back in front of the fireplace, and read about the war in the newspaper. When it’s over, we rush into the Deep South, mop up a little, then steal all their shit before the Yankees get it.

Then ya keep quiet about it, and keep your slaves for a couple extra years, all with no casualties.

These modern day secessionist Texans are going to fuck up our fine traditions of false patriotism, draft dodging and rugged individualism.

Spike April 7, 2010 at 12:47 pm

Its funny they chose April. They should also specially recognize April 9th as Appomattox Courthouse Day, in celebration of that time they fucking surrendered. Losers.

Katydid April 7, 2010 at 12:47 pm

Y’all probably thinking the Missouri Compromise, the Kansas-Nebraska Act, which repealed the Missouri Compromise, and Dred Scott all had to do with slavery too. Damn dumb libtards will say anything to make conservative patriotic U.S. Murikkkans look bad.

June Cleaver 2.0 April 7, 2010 at 12:55 pm

[re=550187]Doglessliberal[/re]: I live in Alexandria. I really, really, really, really want Alex, Arl, FFx to cecede and be the State of No Va.

That’s why you need to stay. To keep ALL of VA blue, or at least purple.

chaste everywhere April 7, 2010 at 12:58 pm

[re=550342]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Thanks for the tip. I found the book on our library’s website and will check it out (literally) after work.
And thank gawd for the WPA. If we hadn’t come up with that program when we did, all those narratives would simply have died with their people.

Doglessliberal April 7, 2010 at 1:01 pm

[re=550308]G. Friday[/re]: [re=550314]VaWyo[/re]: Let’s start a movement.

[re=550404]June Cleaver 2.0[/re]: I know, that’s what I tell myself. But it is hard.

Lazy Media April 7, 2010 at 1:02 pm

[re=550162]norbizness[/re]: Georgia’s official state holidays include Confederate Memorial Day in April and Robert E. Lee’s birthday, which is observed the day after Thanksgiving because its actual date conflicts with MLK Day. So that’s one confederate holidays, MLK Day and one confederate holiday on Black Friday. Even Steven!

Doglessliberal April 7, 2010 at 1:03 pm

[re=550320]imissopus[/re]: Yes, I was just ranting to my spouse about who the hell he thinks he is representing with these moves? He was elected as a moderate to fix $ and roads (I voted for the other guy), and so he is now in for his one term and is going nuts with his insane right wing social agenda.


PineyWoodster April 7, 2010 at 1:06 pm

If you want to let Governor Confederate-tard know how you feel about this, here is a link to a contact form:

Escape Goat Nation April 7, 2010 at 1:06 pm

My new textbook doesn’t mention any of this stuff at all.

assistant/atlas April 7, 2010 at 1:39 pm

As a Bloody Kansan, I would just like to offer a big fuck-your-mother to the folks of the Confederacy for burning down the only cool town in the entire state and raping and pillaging the shit out of my ancestral townsfolk (white people, mind you).

By the way, all these dickheads always say “there were other issues involved” besides slavery. Like what? What exactly were the issues that made it not completely shameful treason to rebel against the country you supposedly love? States’ ability (“rights”) to ignore the federal government? Really hating Abraham Lincoln? Cotton tariff policy?

[re=550157]bureaucrap[/re]: Well played, sir.

canadasteve April 7, 2010 at 1:47 pm

Speaking as a godless, liberal, homo-marriage loving Canadian, this is a joke, right? If it’s not, then you Americans are into some weird sh*t.

Georgia Burning April 7, 2010 at 1:51 pm

[re=550302]Prommie[/re]: Yup. Lee surrendered for a few wagons of vittles. And Jefferson Davis was captured wearing a dress, starting that fine Suthun tradition of “Womanless Beauty Pageant”. All this recent traitor worship comes from letting the losers write the history.

JMP April 7, 2010 at 2:05 pm

[re=550459]assistant/atlas[/re]: “Cotton tariff policy? ”

I have actually heard some treason & slavery apologists claim that as part of the reasons for the South’s secession. Yes, it’s completely laughable grasping at straws, and we know it, racists; you’re not hiding your support of slavery from anybody with your disingenuous claims that celebrating the Confederacy means anything non-racist. Own it.

amowls April 7, 2010 at 2:19 pm

Being Virginian born and raised (okay I was born in DC) this is so EMBARRASSING. But really McDouchenell’s election comes down to the fact that Virginians love being contrarians. We always elect Governors who are from the opposite party of the President. While Bush was in office we had Kane and Warner (Satan bless them). McDonnell ran on a jobs platform and he’s apparently from Northern VA so how wingnutty could he be? Of course, I voted for the other guy.


misanthropomorphic April 7, 2010 at 2:27 pm

[re=550187]Doglessliberal[/re]: Join the D.C. Reunification Party.

Zorg April 7, 2010 at 2:34 pm

[re=550210]Mr Blifil[/re]: Zorg love Mr. Blifil. Dachau factoid worth ten sets of gold-plated Truk Nutz!

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO April 7, 2010 at 2:35 pm

You know what? I’m all for confederate history month. Especially if we focus on the single most important part of the confederates…

they fucking lost. 150 years isn’t enough time to cry and get over it already? Really? Fucking pussies got their gun clinging tobacco chewing asses kicked by a bunch of elistist New Yorkers and they spend a century and a half bitching and moaning about how they don’t get to own darkies anymore?

Just when I thought my state was slowly growing more tolerable as a place to live in, this bullshit springs up.

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO April 7, 2010 at 2:40 pm

[re=550508]amowls[/re]: I will see your point of contrarianism and raise you a Creigh Deeds was a suckshit politician whose own family probably voted against him. Hell, he only won the primary because Brian Moran was too commie pinko soshulist lefty muslin, and Terry McAuliffe.

That’s right, Terry doesn’t need a qualifier, the name has all the suckshit anyone could ever have. It’s like the Q.E.D. of lame, but if you NEED a qualifier, I wouldn’t be surprised if the man didn’t spend five minutes of his short lived run sober.

So we got Deeds. Hell, I almost voted for McD because Deeds is so terrible at campaigning, but even I’m not THAT much of an asshole.

Doglessliberal April 7, 2010 at 3:05 pm

[re=550555]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: Yeah, Deeds is vying with Coakley for Worst Campaign Ever.

Starrigavan April 7, 2010 at 3:26 pm

I say good for Virginia. Celebrate your Confederate past to bring in more tax revenues from tourists! Of course the Union states should sue your ass for a portion of those revenues. Or maybe those of us with great great grandfathers who fought for the Union should… Anybody know the number of a good, hopefully angry, black historian/lawyer who works on commission?

If you ever want to set off the wingnuts just mention that R. E. Lee was a traitor. Makes ‘em foam at the mouth every time.

S.Luggo April 7, 2010 at 3:36 pm

I’m dismayed by McDonnell’s “Jed Clampett Month” declaration. He ran for governor as a “can do” pragmatist. He was, to use the words of certain great American, a uniter and not a divider.

Which shows to go you: you can fool some of the people some of the time and white Virginians most of the time.

To paraphrase Jefferson Davis (if not William Faulkner): it might be weird shit, but its our shit.

Fake Thomas Jefferson April 7, 2010 at 4:13 pm

I have mixed emotions about celebrating the time that my home state joined half of the country in taking that framework we fought and bled for (literally) and deciding, no thank you, it really wasn’t going to work out. It makes me feel wonderful about all that time I spent carefully constructing legal systems and writing about the poisonous social evil of slavery, to see you all side with the slave-owners and against our government.

Wait, did I say “mixed emotions?” I meant “Screw you people.”

Honestly, Virginia. I am so glad I was dead for all of this.

Rock Ripsnort April 7, 2010 at 4:27 pm

Maternally linked to the Virginia Lees, but the only Southerner me sainted Mother ever mentioned was Light Horse Harry Lee, who “borrowed” Confederate horses and sold ‘em to the Yankees.

comicbookguy April 7, 2010 at 4:33 pm

[re=550489]JMP[/re]: Cotton Tariff Party organizes march on Washington in 3… 2… 1…

TakingAmes April 7, 2010 at 4:36 pm

I didn’t know it was Old Home Week again! When do the Kappa Sigs and Chi Omegas show up?

imissopus April 7, 2010 at 4:47 pm

[re=550508]amowls[/re]: Yeah but he also attended Regent University (can’t remember if it was undergrad or grad.) That right there should have set off alarm bells.

doloras April 7, 2010 at 5:21 pm

[re=550187]Doglessliberal[/re]: Or rejoin DC?

Rotundo April 7, 2010 at 6:12 pm

The South Will Rise Again!*

* Because shit floats.

schvitzatura April 7, 2010 at 6:38 pm

Preparing for the 146th Annual “‘Lil’ Phil’ Sheridan Coldcocks the Shenandoah Valley” Jubilee & BBQ this coming September/October…PARTY ON, BOB McD!

soxrulecubsdrool April 7, 2010 at 6:40 pm

you know, Sherman’s March brought some tourists down to Georgia and South Carolina, maybe that will have the same effect here…

Jukesgrrl April 7, 2010 at 7:40 pm

[re=550237]BOOBIES![/re]: I hate to bring it up, but I think some addle-brain from Hollywood surpassed Abraham Lincoln as the “GOP’s most popular President” sometime around 1990. He would have been fine with this current Virginia celebration, due to the beauty of Gone With the Wind and all. So John Wilkes Booth Day is definitely a go.

Jukesgrrl April 7, 2010 at 9:35 pm

[re=550546]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: I’m not so sure Virginians got “their asses kicked by a bunch of elitist New Yorkers.” I think maybe they got their asses kicked by Irish and other immigrants the elitist New Yorkers arrested and forced to fight on their behalf. But that wouldn’t be as bad as slavery or anything … would it? Well, at least Mayor Bloomberg isn’t throwing a party for the people on the wrong side of the deal.

Mahousu April 7, 2010 at 10:43 pm

McDonnell just issued a new proclamation adding a few words of regret about “that slavery thing” to his previous Confederacy Month proclamation. When asked why he hadn’t done this originally, he said he had simply forgotten.

When it was pointed out that this contradicted what he had said earlier to the Post, he replied, “Oh, well, I didn’t forget exactly, it’s just that I had this Civil War confused with the other one.”

[The first paragraph is true, more or less.]

Pooperazzi April 7, 2010 at 10:44 pm

Hey, I went to the University (those of you who know anything about higher education know what that is). There are a few occupants of that Commonwealth who can actually think – about the same number of the Commonwealth that I live in now – Massachusetts. Its just that the ones who consumed too much Virginia Gentleman Bourbon who are now ascendant.

DustBowlBlues April 7, 2010 at 10:55 pm

[re=550166]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I’m trying to imagine the wingers response if neck-massage-hatin’ Chancellor Merkel declared “Third Reich History Month” or celebrated “Heroes of the Third Reich.”

“Heroes of the Kaiser’s Army” day would be okay, though, because the wingers history starts and stops at the shit Tom Hanks produces about wars. And all he cares about is WWII and spacemen.

DustBowlBlues April 7, 2010 at 11:07 pm

[re=550678]Fake Thomas Jefferson[/re]: In the books Joseph Ellis and that Beeman guy wrote about the constitution’s history, one thing shone through abudently. (I think it might have even made it into “John Adams,” McCullough’s giant book that I plodded through (the movie was more fun.)

Anyhoo–they all knew, to a man, the smart guys–Adams, Madison, and so forth, (maybe even slave-lovin’ Jefferson, but I read so many of those books that they blend) that slavery was the issue that was most likely to destroy the union. Every fucking one of them.

The Virginians, the New England yankees–everyone but the Tidewater dickwads knew it. It was the biggest compromise they made. Not so much a compromise, like the Conn. compromise (that settled the proportional/equal vote for the states issue) but something they kicked down the road of history.

Why? Because the southerners, who opposed independence in the first place, would never have agreed to the constitution otherwise. And they even stipulated no laws could be passed that affected slavery for twenty fucking years.

And then there’s the civil war . . .segregation . . .Civil Rights Act . . . Voting Rights Act . . .Equal Rights Amendment . . .Health Care Reform.

You can take this one to the bank: Fighting for the opposite of what the south wants will put you on the right side of history every time. Every fucking time. And I’m including my own beloved Okrahoma in that one.

DustBowlBlues April 7, 2010 at 11:09 pm

[re=550555]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: Didn’t McDonnell run as a moderate? As I recall, he didn’t want even Saint Sarah to campaign for him.

gossipgirl April 8, 2010 at 1:04 am

[re=550469]canadasteve[/re]: Oh, I only wish.

I should go down there, they’d love me, I’m a white girl who moved from Manhattan Valley (lower Harlem), to Hyde Park, Chicago.

gossipgirl April 8, 2010 at 1:08 am

[re=551044]Pooperazzi[/re]: Given that your current state put Scott Brown in the Ted Kennedy Memorial Senate Seat, point taken. Though I am enjoying how [i]that’s[/i] blowing up in the wingnuts faces. If only this would…

american mutt April 8, 2010 at 2:22 am

I propose “40 Acres and Mule Day”, bitches.

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO April 8, 2010 at 11:09 am

[re=551056]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Actually yes. In fact that was one of Deeds failed strategies was bringing to light just how much of an orthodox social conservative McDonnell really was, but all he really had was this paper McDonnell wrote twenty years ago claiming that women should stay in the kitchen, preferably with no shoes on and a bun in the oven, you know, not the oven you cook with.

The thing was, everyone KNEW McDonnell was a rank and file social con. The problem is, in this state that’s not necessarily a bad thing. You look at our two Dem senators and neither would ever be what you would call members of the ultra progressive caucus. Obama won Virginia, but he did that with an unusually high voting population percentage, a particularly motivated Democratic base, and a considerable African American population. By the time the gubernatorial race came around, though, electoral excitement dropped down to the levels it usually is. And the cranky anti-tax, social conservative, confederate sympathizers ALWAYS vote.

woodywood143 April 8, 2010 at 5:31 pm

oh crap, next some idiot will come up with slavery reparation making those of us that never owned a slave pay those that never were a slave. The only thing good in Virgina is tobacco

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