FEMA CAMP DANCE PARTY  12:31 pm April 6, 2010

A Children’s Treasury of Terrible Tea Party Songs

by Ken Layne


Two things need to be outlawed, if we are truly to reclaim our Nation’s Freedom: child voice slavery and the computer program “GarageBand.” Also: FEMA death panel for anyone who does a terrible lip sync to their own terrible computer song. All three of these Crimes Against Freedom are on display in the above video, but we’ve found some teabagger classics that are even worse than this one! Join us for a musical tour of the Teabaggers’ finest efforts in song ‘n video! You will not be able to get any of this stuff out of your mind for a long, long time.


This one is called, obviously, “best TEA PARTY RALLY song ever.” Besides the pure musical/lyrical genius, is there a reason why this particular song is the best TEA PARTY RALLY song ever? Yes! The person who posted this to the YouTubes says, “Fun song easy to learn. In only 2 mins…”


Hey, uhh, what? Taze her? This is from the Pittsburgh city council or something, somebody doesn’t want to pay their property tax so they will kill everyone with this sound.


♪ ♫ I am a dingbat, I am going to fucking kill myself … ♪ ♫


Hey you fuckin’ Mexicans, “Engleees is the lanyungleesh,” so don’t be speakin’ Chinee I caint read it.


This Paultard one is so awful it’s not even entertaining, but you should go ahead and skip to 2:51 for a completely irony-free use of the famous “GET A BRAIN, MORANS” picture. Wow.


And this is … what is this? Some kind of Pac-Man theme song made by a colony of broken robots on Sad Island?


And, finally, the child abuse again. IS IT FUNNY TO DO THIS TO OUR NATION’S SPECIAL NEEDS????

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 111 comments }

Fox n Fiends April 6, 2010 at 12:35 pm

Press 1 for FUGLY

dillplatz April 6, 2010 at 12:36 pm

You bastards. Why? Why are you doing this to us? We love Wonkette. We love YOU. And then, you go and do this to us. And at work, too.

What kind of monsters *are* you?

Cape Clod April 6, 2010 at 12:37 pm

Sorry, I’m not taking the bait on this one. At least not until I can get to a place where alcohol is handy.

Katydid April 6, 2010 at 12:39 pm

I don’t get it. I’m Jewish, well, was born Jewish anyway, and I have never thought of scrawling a sign, “Yids Against Lieberman.” What is with that?

Paul M April 6, 2010 at 12:39 pm

Hey I think the Shaggs are in there somewhere.

CrunchyKnee April 6, 2010 at 12:41 pm

My day has been ruined, thanks, Wonkette. Need, whiskey, now!

Dave J. April 6, 2010 at 12:42 pm

That “speak English” one is so incredible, mostly because she somehow rhymes “please” with “English.”

Katydid April 6, 2010 at 12:42 pm

[re=549437]Katydid[/re]: OK, wait, two corrections. One, I wasn’t born Jewish, I had religion imposed on me, and two, OK, so the black and mixed people’s signs aren’t scrawled, they’re nicely lettered. But my question remains the same. What is up with that?

Buzz Feedback April 6, 2010 at 12:43 pm

I was waiting for the Harold Ramis classroom scene from “Stripes” to appear in “Press One for Engrish.”

steverino247 April 6, 2010 at 12:43 pm

How about “I think I’m Turning Teapartyese, I really think so.”

donner_froh April 6, 2010 at 12:45 pm

What language was the ugly tranny using to sing “Press One for English”?

Pretty meta-critical to do a song in some unrecognizable polyglot while demanding everyone use the same language.

ManchuCandidate April 6, 2010 at 12:45 pm

Shit, I can do better than that.

Girl
I can’t understand it why you want to impeach me
After all the things I’ve done for you.
I get you COBRA and tax cuts and healthcare for your finger -
Healthcare for your finger -
Still you bitch and whine all night
What am I to do?

Fat girl wants to teabag all the time

teabag all the time
teabag all the time.
Fat girl wants to teabag all the time
teabag all the time.

freakishlystrong April 6, 2010 at 12:47 pm

NEEDS LESS MORANS!!1

BlueStateLiberal April 6, 2010 at 12:48 pm

Eh, needs more Confederate flags, etc. Boy, the English one is so embarassingly lame; but so are the others, I just couldn’t force myself to listen to them.

Dashboard_Buddha April 6, 2010 at 12:49 pm

I’m a little teapot
Short and stout
Here is my handle
Here is my spout
When I get all worked up, I shout out…

OBAMA HITLER HITLER DEATH PANEL!1!FREEDUMZ SCHOLSIALISTS GLEN BECK GLEN BECK!!11!!HELP US!!!

SlouchingTowardsWasilla April 6, 2010 at 12:49 pm

You know, I’ve told my mom about a hundred times to stop going to City Council meetings, but does she ever listen? Oy.

Scarab April 6, 2010 at 12:49 pm

Which is worse: conservatives rapping or teabaggers doing song parodies?

Einstein' April 6, 2010 at 12:50 pm

Kay’s guitarist looks like Ron Jeremy.

(that was in English so Kay could understand it. Press Fuck You.)

bureaucrap April 6, 2010 at 12:50 pm

“Oh, we are the folk-song army, Every one of us cares…”

getoffmylawn April 6, 2010 at 12:50 pm

Lends a whole new meaning to the old phrase “number XX on the Billboard Top 40 WITH A BULLET”

SlouchingTowardsWasilla April 6, 2010 at 12:53 pm

Wait, English is the langauge of this country? Did we vote on that? Maybe we should, you know… Democracy and all that. And how much longer until the Language of the Country is Mexican?

SayItWithWookies April 6, 2010 at 12:56 pm

Ken, I can only imagine the basketful of vicious hallucinogens that prompted you to go on this journey through the acephalic musicolyrical wasteland of teabaggery. And I’m only hoping that on my drive home tonight I’m the first on the scene of a bad accident involving a truckload of Dilaudin and a truckload of nitrous oxide tanks so that I can appreciate these in the spirit in which they were made. Until then…

What Fresh Hell is This? April 6, 2010 at 12:56 pm

Since they are promoters of anarchy, where’s “Give The Anarchist A Cigarette” by Chumbawamba?

“Nothing ever burns down by itself, every fire needs a little bit of help.”

Anonymous Office Zombie April 6, 2010 at 12:56 pm

Press One for English, bah. The Stormtroopers of Death version is way better:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyJoVpL-Cl4

What is it about the Conservatard brain that whenever they attempt to create anything remotely artistic, it turns out to be total shit?

Crank Tango April 6, 2010 at 12:57 pm

[re=549443]Buzz Feedback[/re]: son a bitch, shit!

honkyman April 6, 2010 at 12:57 pm

Baby, I’ll punish YOUR posterity ANYtime…

freakishlystrong April 6, 2010 at 1:00 pm

And the classic: “Let the eeeeaaagle soooooaar”…

Doglessliberal April 6, 2010 at 1:01 pm

[re=549437]Katydid[/re]: Obviously, you are not a Patriotic, real American. I bet you are really a Muslin.

Cicada April 6, 2010 at 1:01 pm

[re=549442]Katydid[/re]: I walk around with a sign that says “I’m of Irish descent and I think Pat Buchanan is a bigoted old fartsack”. On alternate days, I carry a sign that says “I’m of Irish descent and I think Sean Hannity is a talking pile of Leprechaun poop”.

The bigger point is that the Irish have a lot of ‘splainin to do. At least as long as black people are asked to explain the actions of Tiger Woods or Marion Barry.

Doglessliberal April 6, 2010 at 1:02 pm

[re=549459]SayItWithWookies[/re]: THIS is what living in the desert does to you. Take heed!

Einstein' April 6, 2010 at 1:04 pm

SlouchingTowardsWasilla And when will these teabaggers begin to speak this language of ours?

One Yield Regular April 6, 2010 at 1:04 pm

Any chance these are available in 33 1/3 rpm K-TEL collection format? If not, 8-Track perhaps?

Capitol Hillbilly April 6, 2010 at 1:04 pm

Mr. Layne, long as we are outlawing stuff can we please add: AutoTune and any other pitch correction software; drum machines; 80s style gated reverb on drums; green screens in homemade videos.

Thanks, this will make America a better place for our children.

doxastic April 6, 2010 at 1:04 pm

Nothing could better sum up what’s wrong with Teabagger ideology than “I am we the people.”

donner_froh April 6, 2010 at 1:09 pm

[re=549459]SayItWithWookies[/re]: It would take double handfuls of the strongest anti-psychotic meds ever imagined by Big Pharma biochemists to listen to enough of those videos to make decide which ones to post.

Wonkette editors scrifice their sanity so we don’t have to.

Snarkalicious April 6, 2010 at 1:09 pm

No video at work. Great and gracious Lord we praise you. Amen.

NJB April 6, 2010 at 1:11 pm

I liked it better when everyone was writing nasty things on Michelle Bachmann’s Happy Birthday page. That was an exhilarating, communal experience.

This is just pure sadism.

Monsieur Grumpe April 6, 2010 at 1:13 pm

As a performing musician and as a person who is also working at a company that blocks YouTube so that all I see is a white square of nothing, I would like to thank my employer profusely for I am stupid enough to watch that crap in slack jawed horror and lose my lunch that cost $6.76.
Thank You

t_rax April 6, 2010 at 1:15 pm

Let Freedom Ring: REM’s really gone off the deep end in their old age.

momus April 6, 2010 at 1:15 pm

TeeVee show ider, “Teabaggers Got Talent.” Sort of a Gong Show for the 21st century. The losers aren’t gonged, they’re (their,theyre,the’yre,etc.) sent to FEMA death camps!

Manos: Hands of Fate April 6, 2010 at 1:18 pm

Thank you, Windows Movie Maker!

proudgrampa April 6, 2010 at 1:19 pm

Ah, the Dumbing of America.

We are so freakin’ doomed.

The Church of Realism April 6, 2010 at 1:20 pm

HAHA, I couldn’t even gut it out through the fucking Preamble of the first video. They all need a good cock-punching.

freakishlystrong April 6, 2010 at 1:23 pm

I pray to Allah that the rest of the youtube viewing world understands this is but a tiny fraction of ‘Muricans. If not, we’ll never be able to flee.

RoscoePColtraine April 6, 2010 at 1:25 pm

The one where the lady sings about not paying property taxes to the tune of “Glory, Glory Hallelujah” just proves once again that retards always get applause for being retards.

And I actually like the new “Captain and Tennille.” Mostly the ever silent Captain. He had a nice set of legs, din’ee? Give me a couple of white trash shots — (Jager perhaps), keep the lights down, and it might get fucky.

SlouchingTowardsWasilla April 6, 2010 at 1:25 pm

They managed to get a teacher, fireman, welder, stay-at-home mom, etc., but they couldn’t find a songwriter.

weejee April 6, 2010 at 1:25 pm

[re=549477]NJB[/re]: Righto!

Liquid April 6, 2010 at 1:26 pm

I’m too scared to listen to any of these. Except I may try Press One for English. However:
” . . . song made by a colony of broken robots on Sad Island?” Brilliant. Thank you, Ken.

FMA April 6, 2010 at 1:29 pm

I get it now. It’s not raining. That’s just Johnny Cash weeping.

The Church of Realism April 6, 2010 at 1:29 pm

[re=549493]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I got 12 seconds in and pulled the eject handle and I mashed the retard button, but nothing helps, I am permanently scarred.

RoscoePColtraine April 6, 2010 at 1:32 pm

Also, you can’t make a song about people wrecking the English language with lyrics like “…please tell me what’s it say?… and calling it the English lang-weeeeege. It’s moronic, no?

Looy April 6, 2010 at 1:36 pm

I’m still traumatized by Luckygirl90.

Monsieur Grumpe April 6, 2010 at 1:38 pm

[re=549494]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]:
The Retarded Village People?

Jim89048 April 6, 2010 at 1:40 pm

Needz moar teleprompterz.
Auto-tune, also.

Autoo April 6, 2010 at 1:45 pm

[re=549473]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: NO! Not 80s style gated reverb on drums!

You can take my 80s style gated reverb on drums when you can pry it from MY COLD DEAD FINGERS!

yrustoopid? April 6, 2010 at 1:46 pm

[re=549452]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: You just made me laugh out loud in class (and there is nothing funny about securities law)! I forgive you because that pretty much made my day.

Jim89048 April 6, 2010 at 1:49 pm
TheCoolestGuyInTown April 6, 2010 at 1:49 pm

Don’t forget about the Ray Stevens jump off, “We the People”…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dc_-L4fyLUo&feature=youtube_gdata

Johnny Zhivago April 6, 2010 at 1:50 pm

[re=549432]Fox n Fiends[/re]: Press 1 for Stupid!

edgydrifter April 6, 2010 at 1:53 pm

America for Americans
Send the Indians back to Africa
lalalala… la!

JMP April 6, 2010 at 1:56 pm

She may be crazy and unable to sing or even lipsynch, but wignut #1 in the cowboy hat is still a would; unless it’s just the lighting and camera angle.

These guys have to be jealous of the liberal 60s protesters, who actually managed to produce a lot of good music; it makes sense that the movement couldn’t produce a Dylan, who’s in a league of his own, but they don’t even have anyone on the level of Country Joe and the Fish. Hell, Tim Robbins did better fake wignut music in Bob Roberts than the teabaggers have done for real.

Capitol Hillbilly April 6, 2010 at 1:59 pm

[re=549526]Autoo[/re]: Sorry but that shit is bad for ya. A snare drum is not supposed to echo into the night. That’s why Al Jackson put his wallet on the drum head.

Capitol Hillbilly April 6, 2010 at 2:01 pm

“Press 1 for English” didn’t really go anywhere on the TeaBag 100 chart.

But her next release, “Press 2 for Double Penetration,” was a smash hit!

chaste everywhere April 6, 2010 at 2:01 pm

[re=549442]Katydid[/re]: [re=549467]Cicada[/re]: I’m Eyetalo-’merigan and have often pondered carrying a sign that reads “Wops Against the Mafia” around River Forest and other relevant Chicago suburbs. But I have a WASP-sounding last name so no one would believe the Wop part.

WadISay April 6, 2010 at 2:08 pm

I let the credits roll (and roll, and roll) on the third one. Haha, he thanks his wife, but says Buzz is “the best”. Also, his father invaded North Africa in November 1941 (a month before Pearl Harbor). Maybe he was a German.

hockeymom April 6, 2010 at 2:10 pm

[re=549503]RoscoePColtraine[/re]:

I thought she was trying to rhyme with Squeegee at one point.

GOPCrusher April 6, 2010 at 2:16 pm

The Death Panels can not get here soon enough.

Come here a minute April 6, 2010 at 2:20 pm

Oh oh, the guns of Brixton — oh, oh, guns of Brixton.
That’s enough now. I’m tired of singing.

Way Cool Larry April 6, 2010 at 2:21 pm

Jesus wept.

The Cold Sea April 6, 2010 at 2:22 pm

There is no way “Amreica is Me” is real. KEN LAYNE WROTE IT11

comicbookguy April 6, 2010 at 2:23 pm

As bad as these are I’ve learned to be thankful. Any day I don’t see a video of a duck in a diaper attacking a naked man with a dildo, is a good day.

GOPCrusher April 6, 2010 at 2:35 pm

[re=549580]comicbookguy[/re]: + 10 Internets to you good sir. For you are the Light and the Way.

dillplatz April 6, 2010 at 2:38 pm

And I’m proud to be
an Uh’mercun
where at least
I’m told I’m free

And I won’t regret
the threats I made
‘gainst Obama’s family

And I’d gladly
park my
Rascal here
and defend it ‘gainst the gays

‘Cause there ain’t no doubt
I love this land,

God bless the USAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

twowheeljunkie April 6, 2010 at 2:39 pm

I gave up after the 3rd one. The rest are too long. I got better thing to do on my lunch break.
Like go get a beer.

Dashboard_Buddha April 6, 2010 at 2:42 pm

[re=549529]yrustoopid?[/re]: My pleasure.

I love you (^ April 6, 2010 at 2:42 pm

Unfortunately, that last bit of child abuse was.. well, you’ll see. It’s just unfortunate.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pb8ntODQha4&sns=em

FunkyPalmettoBug April 6, 2010 at 2:56 pm

I buried Ron Paul….I buried Ron Paul….I buried Ron Paul….

NopantsMcGee April 6, 2010 at 3:04 pm

Oh, bless you Wonkette! These are my favorite articles of all! It’s almost like a persoanl version of MST3K right here on my own intertube.

TGY April 6, 2010 at 3:11 pm

Youtubo delenda est!

Aunt Fancy April 6, 2010 at 3:11 pm

How in the fuck can the man a woman be a revue? What are they reviewing, mental retardation?

Ducksworthy April 6, 2010 at 3:19 pm

[re=549474]doxastic[/re]: I was stopped by the title “America is me”. Not even America is us white people It just, the whole fucking thing is Me! Me Me Me Mine!

coastingdownhill April 6, 2010 at 3:28 pm

What I don’t get is how did this French Black man get into the White House in the first place? Why did we let the Supreme Court decide he should be President? That’s the problem: the Supreme Court. The UN and the Supreme Court gave us this loser in the first place. How did he become the King of our America? It’s just not right and we need to take America back from France, now!!! We have to make songs and signs and say things that will change it all back to the days before France was a socialist country.

Mad Brahms April 6, 2010 at 3:37 pm

“America is Me”: Patriotic music for men who pee sitting down.

I’m also detecting strains of Dennis Mandalone. What ever happened to him, anyway?

Mad Brahms April 6, 2010 at 3:39 pm

Also, “Hitler would love this guy”. Because they’re both… black? Because Hitler loved… communists? Wait, something is off here. Dammit, if you’re going to break Godwin’s law, make it worth it.

El Pinche April 6, 2010 at 3:49 pm

Meghan, where are you?? I want death

Radiotherapy April 6, 2010 at 4:12 pm

I finally found something worse than the Yoko Ono Box Set.

….and we know wind power blows

DickTaterPeeNoShay April 6, 2010 at 4:13 pm

My favorite one- “Mr. English Only” rockin’ out in his front yard playing a Mexican-made Telecaster. It may even be a Chinese made knock off of a Mexican Tele.

Only redeeming factor is that he had the good taste to choose the butterscotch blonde with the black pick guard just like Merele Haggard and Keith “eurotrash” Richards.

liquiddaddy April 6, 2010 at 4:30 pm

The ironic thing is that if they realize the America they sing about, there wouldn’t be any meth. Then what?

Also, leather hats are the last desperate act of the truly untalented.

GOPCrusher April 6, 2010 at 4:38 pm

I really hope that guy in the Cardinals T-shirt negotiated for royalties every time that picture is used on the internet, or someone uses the “moran” spelling because I know someone who is going to get his taxes raised.

Smoke Filled Roommate April 6, 2010 at 4:43 pm

Engleesh ees the langweeeege. Is she positive she’s not from China, Mexico, no foreign place?

Mostly_Harmless April 6, 2010 at 4:48 pm

When I started playing all the videos at once, the power in our 25-story building mysteriously flickered and went out for a few seconds. I’m guessing— with pain.

My favorite is the nice drunk lady with lop ear boobies in the third video.

Radiotherapy April 6, 2010 at 4:49 pm

[re=549755]DickTaterPeeNoShay[/re]: Ran across my mind too. Jeesh, these teabaggers are so cheap and hypocritical. It’s not even a Fender.

Abou Diaby April 6, 2010 at 5:04 pm

The best Tea bag song ever sounds like an Al Qaeda recruitment video.

Abou Diaby April 6, 2010 at 5:07 pm

Fuck this shit. I’m gonna watch some MILFs get cream pied.

One Yield Regular April 6, 2010 at 5:30 pm

[re=549576]Come here a minute[/re]: Thank you for remembering that. My LP version of that album was “borrowed” (forever) and I replaced it with the CD, only to find that last line, maybe the best thing on the whole album, OMITTED. Arrrrrrrrgh!

RPolanski April 6, 2010 at 5:31 pm

[re=549465]freakishlystrong[/re]: This past Sunday, Harry Shearer did a great tribute to the Young Eagles who so valiantly conquered the lesbian titty bar in West Hollywood on the the RNC’s dime. This beautiful tribute was heard on his Le Show radio show broadcast on KCRW, 89.9 in Santa Monica. Here are the touching lyrics:

Imagine really bad background tinny artificial keyboards like John Ashcroft used.

Let the Eagle Land

Flying so high, stuff gets in your eye
Why wouldn’t you take a stand
Everyone loves young eagles
So, let the eagles land

A next so extreme, seemed like a dream
But it put a big dent in the brand
Just for the sake of the eagles
Just let the eagles land.

Young eagles, they fly on Friday
They stay up all weekend long
But when they fly over West Hollywood
Their sense of direction goes wrong

Young pigeons and crow, who care where they go
Their flights are completely unplanned
But you’ve got to guide the eagles
So let the eagles land.

When you fly toward the stars, you may fly through some bars
Air traffic controls undermanned
Take pity on the eagles
And let the eagles land.

Brought tears to my eyes it was so patriotic.

Oh, flying at night’s never easy
Even along southland shores
When you deliver them to their bondage
Don’t stare at the eagles’ sores.

Ho. They’ll soar again, heaven knows when
But they’ll be the bird in the hand
‘Til then just think of the eaglet
And let the eagles land
Just let the eagles land.

CapnFatback April 6, 2010 at 5:32 pm

“Yankee Doodle” video, 2:13, the Boob Czar. Who is she, and what has she done with Janet Napolitano?

momus April 6, 2010 at 5:33 pm

What’s an Italian yacht doing in “Let Freedom Ring”?

JDHART April 6, 2010 at 5:41 pm

Make it stop!

UtterItWithAustralopithecines April 6, 2010 at 11:00 pm

Wow, those were strange and terrifying — of the ones that loaded. I like “Press 1 If You Can’t Dance” — every country song ought to blend patriotism with a stubborn unwillingness to learn new words or assimilate changing cultural norms.

The PacMan song had the advantage overall, though — it was just as substantive as the others, but, being instrumental, didn’t have the distraction of all those irritating lies.

President Beeblebrox April 6, 2010 at 11:15 pm

I couldn’t take more than one minute of the first video.

If I had a TARDIS, I would take these videos back to Philadelphia in 1787 and show them to the Constitutional delegates – “Here, guys, this is what yr Constitution will create. Let’s take out that 3/5 of a person and Indians not taxed thing and avoid that nasty civil war, that way there won’t be child voice slavery and GarageBand songs in 2010 that play on yr rich-guy tea-tariff revolt against Triple George up in Boston… m’kay?”

It might not work, but perhaps it would make Franklin write some pithy prose and send some of the states back to the warm embrace of His Britannic Majesty’s government, where they now have socialist gay Marxist free health care…

harrison grrgeron April 7, 2010 at 12:23 am

shouldn’t the first video be called a revolution’s steeping.

One Flew Over the Wingnut April 7, 2010 at 2:07 am

Wow, wow, wow…I didn’t think an amount of suck that large could be contained on a single blog and not crash the entire internets, yea crash all of reality with it. Maybe it did, maybe I’m moving but you’re all stuck in time and space…at least those of you who watched them all. The last one is the worst of the bunch, and that’s saying a lot. Not because of the singing which is uniformally terrible in all of them; especially the one with ron jeremy and that porn star from the 70′s who sang “more, more, more” NO, NO, NO! But I digress, those were all offensive in their own small way but the last one was the worst. The Pittsburgh one shows that using education funds to train retards to sing ad-lib is a terrible idea and should be cut out of the budget. But the last one…ugh, even the Pac-Man one with its gratuitous Palin and Beck imagery didn’t get me as angry…it was annoying, but fuck all, Palinista’s are arch-retards, so it’s okay.

That last one, with Obama all gussied up as Hitler was only the beginning of the immense amounts of bigotry that ensued, this was really QUITE ironic with use of Nazi imagery; I’ll wager there’s no chance the little authoritarian follower who made it would understand the delicious irony of the content of that video….maybe if he sat and thought about it for 1,000 years. So the subtext is teabaggers cannot sing AT ALL (or carry a tune at least), are racist, very poorly educated, completely lacking in self-awareness, are anti-intellectual, majorly homophobic, can’t speak English but demand everyone else speak it, use Nazi imagery with a casual style that belies who the real fascists are and love idiots who use crazy and bigoted memes regularly. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, these guys are a moustache away from wearing Brownshirts…maybe if Tancredo let his grow..or Palin didn’t get electrolysis for a month which she’s clearly shameless enough to do; they’d have a mighty ‘stache to rally behind. (especially a porno ‘stache like mullet Ron Jeremy in video #2).

Sinclair Lewis once wrote that “when fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag carrying a cross”, this applies here; fascism will rise cloaked as anti-fascism works too. These people are crazy and terrifying; they are moved by dog whistle politics and are ready to react against anyone who doesn’t follow the Bush line; they are Manichean robots with a reactionary propensity toward violence…They should never be allowed near an open mic and for god’s sake need to be kept away from anything approaching music.

Lastly, I’d like to thank our beloved editors at Wonkette for braving the lake of fire to find this shit; I’d excoriate you normally but I realize and empathize with the intense pain you went through compilling it all. OH and purple mushrooms for all the semi-attractive women in those videos, and cock punches for every guy involved….what am I saying? cock punches for all!

One Flew Over the Wingnut April 7, 2010 at 2:11 am

I was quote searching earlier for a paper…and I found this nugget:

19) “Rove’s re-election strategy was elegantly simple: Scare the bejesus out of Jesusland. F@ggots are headed your way! Satanic Muslims are hiding everywhere! That’s all it took to get Jesusland to do the job. Intellectual conservatives like the National Review staff are flattering themselves if they honestly believe Jesusland cares about conservative thought. The “reality-based” folks are learning that Jesusland doesn’t even care about jobs or the economy. In Jesusland, it’s all the will of Jesus. No job? No money? Daughter got her clit pierced? Jesus is just f*cking with you again, testing your faith. Got the cancer? Oh well. Soon you’ll be with Jesus. Reality is no match for a mystical world in which an all-powerful god is constantly toying with every detail of your mundane life, just to see what you’ll do about it. Keep praying and always keep your eye out for homosexuals and terrorists, and you will eventually be rewarded … all you have to do is die, and then it’s SuperJesusLand, where you will be a ghost floating in a magic cloud with all the other ghosts from Jesusland, with Jesus Himself presiding over an Eternal Church Service.” — Blogger Ken Layne after Kerry went down to defeat in November

Ken Layne, you are my hero! oh and here’s the link, it’s an old award, but you made the wingnut top 40 most obnoxious in 2004. http://www.rightwingnews.com/quotes/obnoxiousquotes2004.php

SayCheese April 7, 2010 at 7:32 am

I’m not sure why they care so much about SPEAKING English. They sure as hell flaunt the fact that they don’t care about WRITTEN English.

http://www.flickr.com/search/?q=teabonics

Or wrest yourself away from Wonkette, go to Flickr.com and search for “teabonics”.

Larry McAwful April 7, 2010 at 8:30 am

It’s ironic that the speak-English-or-die lady keeps showing pictures of immigrants in English classes when it’s the anti-foreign and anti-immigrant people who consistently vote to defund English classes for immigrants and their children. Immigrants *want* to learn English; it’s the only way to get and hold a halfway decent job in this country. A more accurate summary of that sentiment would be a song called “America: Do Not Enter Without White Skin and a Gun.”

Larry McAwful April 7, 2010 at 8:54 am

The “Yankee Doodle” remix is interesting. The photos, I mean. Notice how every time you see black people, they’re by themselves, but every time you see a crowd, there are no black people in it. In other words…

Token Doodle went to protest,
Posing with the white folk,
Never saw him in the crowd though,
Hanging with the right folk.

Token Doodle, keep it up,
Glamming for the photos,
Mind the white crowds all around,
We’ve got our film, now go home!

thelonegunman April 7, 2010 at 9:45 am

hmmm…. i see a pattern here… all (but the last one with the kiddies) are sung in some sort of southern / rural accent with corn husker geetar music…)

(btw – you gotta love the tea bagger with their misspelled signs telling people to get a brain…)

Catholics4Condoms April 7, 2010 at 11:13 am

“I am We the people” speak english please.

comicbookguy April 8, 2010 at 10:49 am

Speak english lady is sad she never learned how to read.

igotmyreasons April 8, 2010 at 2:47 pm

I’m depressed that my song didn’t make the list:

http://www.youtube.com/user/fgdesign2#p/u/10/oHZbkLkOfJw

:(

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