Here is one way to get fired, when you work in the cable news “talent” industry: Secretly make a pilot show with your network’s main competition! That’s what weirdo anchorperson David Shuster got caught doing, taping a secret show for CNN while allegedly being the Loyal Employee of MSNBC. And now MSNBC is all, “You are dead to us,” and he is “suspended indefinitely” and well, if his wish was to be on ninth-place loser cable-news channel CNN, his wish may have come true! And he’ll just have to take whatever CNN offers (forty bucks a week and whatever hairs fall off Wolf Blitzer’s beard). [Vanity Fair, as in Juli Weiner!]
AMERICA'S NEWS HEROES
April 6, 2010
{ 46 comments }
Real CNN or imaginery CNN?
Yay Juli Weiner! Gotta love a line like “jurisprudence dreamboat Jeffrey Toobin.”
So, we know that he burns bridges, but we can only surmise-purely from that cherce photo-that he kills hookers.
This guy is constantly stepping on his own dick. He needs better friends with better advice.
[re=549344]Madeline[/re]: Cuckold Newz Netzwork
I guess MSNBC was not interested in pimping him out like Chelsea Clinton.
If Shuster leaves MSNBC it will create a great void in the middle of a little bigger void.
Look, he wants to move to CNN, because as lame as CNN is, he can go over there and RULE LIKE A KING. I mean, not Larry King. But, the royalty sort.
And yet, MSNBC is still going to have Pat Buchanan on, because why not. Also.
He just wanted a chance to be a hologram; and really, who doesn’t? Is that so wrong?
O’Donnell’s always been a much better fill-in in my opinion, while Shuster’s extremely bland, and so should fit right in at CNN.
Chinless hump.
[re=549356]JMP[/re]: He really wanted to get his hands on their massive touchscreen monitor. I’m zooming in, now I’m zooming out. Weee!
Slightly OT–I got a costco roasted chicken this weekend and this is the third day in a row that chicken farts have “won the morning.”
[re=549356]JMP[/re]: that O’Donnell is lovely. You DO mean Norah, right?
If he’s a free agent, maybe he will start up his lulzy twitter provocateur stuff again. That was kinda funny.
It was even funnier to see the lengths Ken will go through to upgrade to a high-def yuppie flatscreen, selling some real estate to those Utah polygamist deity worshipers who apparently think Yr Trsty Wnktte is a fertile recruting ground for people who will believe that a sect can be founded after digging up some shit in one’s back yard.
I’ve gotta take Shuster’s side here. He’s an actual journalist, and they’ve got him working the mid-day “explosion at an Alabama sugar factory” and “funny pictures of zoo animals” beat. I’d be looking for actual work too.
That spray-on hair just doesn’t work for everybody does it?
With that dulcet ‘banana in the tailpipe’ voice, it was only a matter of time before the bidding war began…
Apparently if you want to get pimped out right, you’ve gotta do it yourself.
[re=549372]tiny mexican[/re]: Eh, not so much….Shuster never seems to know who he is, or where he stands for…I think he wants to be Ed Schulz, but can’t seem to put on the weight…
Mmmmmmmmmmm … don’t really give a rat’s ass. Next.
No worries, just animate a Ken doll and create another news reader. Problem Solved!
Is Juli’s VF sure it wasn’t the way too gay pink tie that did him in?
[re=549368]Crank Tango[/re]: No, Lawrence; I had forgotten about Norah’s existence, she’s mostly just another bland pretty face.
I always kinda like Shuster, that tweet he twatted to that twit, James O’Keefe t’was kewl.
[re=549368]Crank Tango[/re]: Bawwwwk!!!
Let’s just call it what it is. MSNBC is a jealous bitch.
Meanwhile Pat Buchanan is still on there almost every day poping up like a whack a mole! What is wrong with this picture?!
Since he and Simon split, Schuster hasn’t been the same. He’ll be the Art Garfunkel of CNN.
[re=549372]tiny mexican[/re]: Agreed. Shuster is actually pretty respectable for a cable news jockey. I couldn’t figure out why the network had him doing to workday yokel stuff on TV. Don’t blame him at all for snooping elsewhere.
Great, now we have to have every lame-ass liberal talk show host/Huffington Post Tweeter/crazy guy who yells on the street corner fight over who get’s Schuster’s spot.
Go Team Crazy!
As Big Daddy Kane put it, pimpin’ ain’t easy.
This has me wondering how long Larry King’s going to be around.
Have they considered getting Jay Leno to replace him when he retires?
I think he’s adorkable. “Hey David … wanna do lunch?”
Schuster promised every day of the grand jury hearings for Plamegate that Karl Rove was going to be indicted. I never had much use for him after that.
[re=549430]Cape Clod[/re]: Alot of people thought that Rove would get indicted, right up until the day Rove and his lawyer Luskin pleaded to come back and talk again to the prosecution and they basically agreed to stick a shiv into Scooter.
Which network’s who now?
Busted – thus the Spitzer-face
I think I remember this dude saying something to Joe Scarborough (in the Minneapolis remote for the Republican convention?) that had THAT pontificating dipshit sputtering, in a sort of rebuttal/monologue/lecture that actually proved Shuster’s point, for 10 enormously entertaining minutes, so there must be something good about him, but damned if I can remember anything else he’s done, or even what it was he said to set Joe off, on that occasion. I mean, he just isn’t very memorable, no?
[re=549429]malo-ji[/re]: You’re going have to fight DustBowlBlues for her imaginary boyfriend (just protecting her turf while she’s away doing whatever she does during daylight).
No more Countdown sloppy seconds for you, Schuster!
Note to Shuster: There were other ways to let them know you were pissed about them not letting you tweet anymore.
[re=549372]tiny mexican[/re]: Me, too, Tiny Mex. I love David “You’re Welcome” Schuster. I haven’t been paying attention, but I turned on MSNBC and saw Ed Shultz instead of my best pretend boy friend. He deserved Dylan Rattigan’s slot, or Ed’s.
When my Davy said something inappropriate about Bible Spice, MSNBC should have gone all Faux news over the issue and embraced what he said. Instead, he was chastised for it.
And Dylan Rattigan is now having the head of safety for the UMW on his show. The first thing the labor goon should do is storm across the set and give Rattigan a right hook straight to the chin, for being so casually anti-union all the time.
[re=549515]predilectrix[/re]: Thanks, pred. My assistant knew this would be such an important issue to me that she closed the drapes, handed me a pair of shades and tilted up the coffin so I could respond.
[re=549734]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I’ve been looking for your comments all weekend. I feared you had gone into mourning. I trust David dispensed with his manners when that Pimp-for-GE Phil Griffin yelled at him.
Corporations who don’t value their employees should expect similar behavior in return. News organizations show no loyalty to anyone but their biggest stars — and only to them because they can afford great lawyers. (Ask the Smithsonian freelancer injured in Afghanistan.) Anyone on Shuster’s tier is nuts if they aren’t always keeping their eyes open for better opportunities.
It’s getting cold in here with all these Aaron Brrrrs.
Does this mean that Keith Olberman will have to start hosting his own show again?
David is an honest-to-god Jim Henson creation. You can’t look at him and tell me that he doesn’t belong on Sesame Street.
He’s still a no-neck douche-bag that I’ll never have any kind of sympathy for. Talk about a smart-assed know-it-all.
[re=550084]LowerdPeninsula[/re]: Ah wish ah could challenge you to a Duel.
Quick: Who said that? Besides me.
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