• May 26, 2012

Two RNC Bigwigs Quit, But Not Michael Steele, Not Just Yet

by Ken Layne  

  • Where's your birth certificate, Steele?Michael Steele may or may not still have his job as RNC chairman at this exact moment, but we do know for sure that bigwig moneybags GOP donor-person Sam Fox quit a Republican fund-raising position on Monday and the Republican National Committee’s chief of staff, Ken McKay, officially gave up his job. And Steele himself, America’s Least-Loved Clown, went on Good Morning America to both blame his problems on his race, which is unfair to his race, and to insist he won’t quit because half the time he raises as much money as the Democrats. Seven of twelve months, hell that’s even more than half. [Reuters/ABC News]
  • At least a dozen people are dead after a West Virginia coal mine explosion. [Charleston Gazette]
  • Wealthy fashion dwarf and current Afghan President Hamid Karzai “threatened to quit the political process and join the Taliban.” Sure, you do that! You go, girl! [Associated Press]
  • Are you one of the 400,000 Americans who saw their unemployment checks end on Monday? Please get in line to thank the Republican senators who blocked the Senate version of the passed House bill to extend your benefits. [Los Angeles Times]

{ 40 comments }

ManchuCandidate April 6, 2010 at 8:02 am

Way to go GOP, way to extend that hand to the unemployed (I’m sure that even some actually voted for you) and wave your middle finger at them while simultaneously fisting them.

Throwing hissy fits worked out so well for Newt Gingrich when he faced off against US America’s first pseudo-black preznit. Right?

NJB April 6, 2010 at 8:27 am

I’m sure the Taliban will welcome their good friend Hamid with open arms – right before they cut his head off. Or maybe right before the predator drone finds his location.

norbizness April 6, 2010 at 8:30 am

Yeah he’s good, bad, dope, he’s freaky fresh
He makes hip-hop fans say “yes yes”

Dr. Zoidberg April 6, 2010 at 8:41 am

My favorite Steele moment was when he said that his style was too ‘street’ for the rest of the RNC. Hell, I’m a 41-year-old white woman living in Wyoming and managing a library, and I’m more ‘street’ than him.

slavojzizek April 6, 2010 at 8:43 am

Karzai will join the Taliban, but not yet. He just wants to be on the right side during the inevitable clinging-to-the-helicopter US evacuation.

chascates April 6, 2010 at 8:47 am

Fortunately for Steele black Republicans are a pretty rare breed. And I’m guessing the wives of coal miners are so fat because they spend all day eating to ease their fears about their husbands.

V572625694 April 6, 2010 at 8:47 am

Maybe Steele will pull a Karzai and threaten to join the Dems. They’re looking for an accomplished, successful African-American to be a party leader….

norbizness April 6, 2010 at 8:48 am

Don’t worry, I’m sure that President Cybernetic Jm J Bullock will figure out a way to make Afghanistan work in the Year 2525.

Every man, woman and child in America funnels about $2500 per year to the Pentagon and this is the ongoing assclownery we can expect?

gurukalehuru April 6, 2010 at 8:49 am

Hang in there, Michael! You are immooooovable.

Katydid April 6, 2010 at 8:51 am

O/T, but not for young Riley:

Seems the growth of unpaid internships may be illegal. Especially for young sexy interns who do not get credit on what passes for a masthead. Hmmmm. STRIKE!

gurukalehuru April 6, 2010 at 8:52 am

He’s Kraazi!

Aflac Shrugged April 6, 2010 at 8:57 am

Paying the largest fine in history for wrongdoing in covering up systematic safety violations, in 2007: $4.2 million.

Creating a PAC to basically purchase a swing vote on West Virginia’s highest court, leading to a U.S. Supreme Court precedent that judges should try a little harder to recuse themselves when they’ll look like whores otherwise: about $3 million.

Realizing that not a goddamn thing will change no matter how many miners these assholes kill: priceless.

Cape Clod April 6, 2010 at 9:04 am

[re=549239]Dr. Zoidberg[/re]: Is there a difference between being ‘street’ and making flaming jackass of yourself? It doesn’t appear that way.

DickTaterPeeNoShay April 6, 2010 at 9:11 am

Brownie’s still doing a heck of a job.

JamesMichaelCurley April 6, 2010 at 9:20 am

Also blocked by Republican constipation on HR4851: Cobra benefits support for unemployed, payments under the national flood insurance program. So, not only will your unemployment check cease, if you had health insurance coverage the carrier can terminate it for lack of coverage and if your house is under water in NJ, NY, CT, RI or MA the carrier can deny the claim and terminate coverage because it did not receive payment. So with no unemployment check, you will have to eat those foods the flood soaked and when you get ptomaine poisoning you can’t afford the doctor and will die and your family will have to hold the wake in the local park, in a canoe. So much for compassionate conservativism.

ella April 6, 2010 at 9:20 am

The GOP has so much to campaign on this fall. “Vote for me! I want to fuck everybody with pre-existing conditions and I’ve already denied unemployment benefits to almost half a million people!”

betterDeadThanRed April 6, 2010 at 9:25 am

So many parallels between the mistakes in Viet Nam and the mistakes in Afghanistan/Iraq. I wonder in it’s time for Karzai to go the way of Diem?

JMP April 6, 2010 at 9:27 am

Karzai also never really liked the Americans anyway, because they’re all a bunch of stupid meanie poopheads, and had his fingers crossed when he said he was super-best friends with the US; and he knows those guys in the Taliban are his real friends who’d never be big jerks like the Americans; and anyway the ball is his and he’s not going to let them play with it unless they play by his rules, which are the real rules and the US has to stop being so unfair.

FMA April 6, 2010 at 9:28 am

[re=549253]ella[/re]: “FOR FEEDOM!!1!!”

Dr. Zoidberg April 6, 2010 at 9:28 am

[re=549249]Cape Clod[/re]: For Steele? No. For me? Occasionally.

WadISay April 6, 2010 at 9:37 am

If Karzai joins the Taliban, at least then we could fly a Predator drone in his window, claim we had killed the number 2 guy in the Taliban (again), declare victory and go home.

Berkeley Bear April 6, 2010 at 9:40 am

I realize pulling all our troops out would fuck over the Afghan people, but seeing as how they get rump ridden by everyone from the Taliban to Pakistan security forces to Iranian spies to the PKK to drug warlords already, shouldn’t we take advantage of the opportunity Karzai’s giving us? Just think of the money it would free up for benefits the Senate could be douchebags about.

disgustedcitizen April 6, 2010 at 9:42 am

[re=549255]betterDeadThanRed[/re]: I’m willing to be the unemployment check I won’t be getting that somewhere in the bowels of the CIA the idea is already being floated.

JMP April 6, 2010 at 9:49 am

[re=549253]ella[/re]: The thing is, it should have been simple for the GOP. Blame Obama for the bad economy and unemployment, claim their free market crap would fix things (it wouldn’t, but the American people are dumb), keep hammering on the economy, and get decent gains in the House and Senate.

But instead, they’ve decided to appease the crazy teabagger portion of their base, and so we’ve got the spectacle of the Reps blocking popular, effective government programs that visibly help people; along with many of their leaders just acting crazy. Good job shooting yourselves in the foot!

gossipgirl April 6, 2010 at 9:52 am

Go over to CNN, where they’re ranting about the lazy unemployed – I’ve been pissing them off for two days now : )- they’re talking about how well people are living off of unemployment – I’m like, “Dude, really…have you ever BEEN on unemployment?”

chaste everywhere April 6, 2010 at 10:04 am

[re=549247]Aflac Shrugged[/re]: Have you seen my wife, Mr. Jones?
Do you know what it’s like on the outside?
Don’t go talking too loud, you’ll cause a landslide, Mr Jones

JMP April 6, 2010 at 10:08 am

[re=549279]gossipgirl[/re]: Your average Republican knows the unemployed are lazy and don’t want to work, since they could just ask Mommy and Daddy to have one of their friends give them a job.

gossipgirl April 6, 2010 at 10:10 am

JMP: I know! My parents have just been ignoring me, but I keep asking!

southern mark smith April 6, 2010 at 10:31 am

[re=549285]chaste everywhere[/re]: Or have they given up, and all gone home to bed,
thinking those who once existed must be dead?

Terry April 6, 2010 at 10:38 am

[re=549247]Aflac Shrugged[/re]:

Those safety and environmental regulations are SUCH a burden on the poor mining companies. Granted, a few miners die here and there and the occasional river becomes a toxic sewer, but that’s just the price of doing business. Right?

RoscoePColtraine April 6, 2010 at 10:45 am

[re=549265]Berkeley Bear[/re]: You say “rump ridden” like it’s a bad thing.

proudgrampa April 6, 2010 at 10:58 am

Congratulations, Ken. You’ve put four stories together that convinced me to start drinking very early today.

S.Luggo April 6, 2010 at 11:13 am

[re=549239]Dr. Zoidberg[/re]: The problem is that Mike’s street happens to be in Chevy Chase.

SayItWithWookies April 6, 2010 at 11:13 am

[re=549310]Terry[/re]: This is horrible to think about, but I’m certain there are some mining lobbyist groups that are immediately thinking of the advantages of this situation: it sets up a hugely unpleasant set of options: either continue the very dangerous shaft-and-gallery type mining where collecting gases can cause a similar explosion at any time, or do more mountaintop mining, which is cheaper, safer in terms of accidents, but pollutes streams and surrounding lands with millions of years’ worth of mineral leaching over a period of months. Either that or throw another monkey wrench into America’s quest to become energy independent with more burdensome regulations — and nobody wants that, of course.

imissopus April 6, 2010 at 12:24 pm

[re=549279]gossipgirl[/re]: I can’t wait for this week’s unemployment check. I’m going to go buy that food I’ve had my eye on!

steverino247 April 6, 2010 at 12:40 pm

On the subject of Mr. Karzai:

I think his head would be on a pike within 24 hours of an American withdrawal and the video of his beheading on YouTube within minutes. W and Renfield made friends with the wrong Afghan and now we’re stuck with him. Will we whack him? Not unless there’s a really good second choice in the picture someplace.

GOPCrusher April 6, 2010 at 12:57 pm

[re=549279]gossipgirl[/re]: Well, they do have time to go to make signs and protest the gubmint giving them stuff. Who said being unemployed isn’t fun!

Lascauxcaveman April 6, 2010 at 1:21 pm

[re=549439]steverino247[/re]: Also Karzai’ll join the Taliban when they can offer him more money than can Uncle Sam. Which, I’m guessing, is not anytime soon.

slowuncle April 6, 2010 at 5:54 pm

Remember how Prince Sihanouk of Cambodia got lured out of his country by an invitation to China, and once he got on the plane they launched a coup & he could never return? I think there’s a similar plan afoot to depose Steele:
the Gov of Virginia has just announced a Confederate History month in his state & evidently Michael Steele got invited to dress up for some re-enactment thingy (as Civil War buffs are wont to do occasionally) in era garb as an 1863 slave, named ‘Toby’. Toby’s role has him fretting over whether he should obey the Emancipation Proclamation, even though it was drafted by Yankee demons who don’t realize how generous and pateralistic Massa is, and how bucolic and uncomplicated life on the plantation really is. Should he pull up stakes and turn his back on Massa, just ‘coz the carpet-bagging snakes up north are trying to make him???
Anyway, if I were Toby—-I mean Steele, I’d think twice about accepting the invite and leaving his office vulnerable to RNC operatives…

Jukesgrrl April 6, 2010 at 6:20 pm

[re=549239]Dr. Zoidberg[/re]: You should wear a book around your neck and every time you walk into a room yell, “Library Libe!”

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: