NRSC head “Big John” Cornyn of Texas has been having some difficulties on the Twitter Machine in the last 24 hours. He has been attempting to show Americans that he loves college basketball, just like normal people do. Yesterday he wished good luck to two teams that had played the night before, which he later corrected with a profound Twitter Apology. It’s still unclear if America will forgive him, but now, after today’s incident, far less likely.
In the last hour, John Cornyn has seen someone else type on Twitter — maybe as a very successful prank — that he should also wish good luck to the Baylor ladies’ basketball (WHO ALLOWED THIS?) team, just as he did the teams from the men’s game. Cornyn must have only then realized that a college basketball team from his home state had reached the national championship finals, which he probably should’ve known, even though they’re just a bunch of chicks running around doing god knows what.
Two minutes later, he posts his “Good Luck athletic team that is apparently good at sports,” and again, he is one day late, as the Baylor ladies lost badly to Connecticut last night. The team members had presumably been depressed all day and were likely together, each with her laptop, refreshing Cornyn’s Twitter account for hours on end, hoping to get a lil’ pick-me-up from their beloved Senator Big John. What a terrible shock this must have been to them. If they haven’t all committed suicide yet, it’s only a matter of time.
And that’s because John Cornyn hates sports and America.
[Twitter]
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“Cornyn…loves
collegeprofessional basketball where the players are the only participants not making obscene amounts of money, just like normal people do.”/fixed
Obama for three! – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j87k1j4CpOw
INFAMY!
Lady Bears? I didn’t know it was K-Lo day here at Wonkette.
[re=548894]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Hahahaha…
Luckily for him, the only person who follows “woman’s” basketball is Rachel Maddow.
guys. help. check chuck grassley’s twitter. i’m not sure if he is referring to human beings or easter candies.
Someone should send him this shirt to wear.
They were recently known as the Baylor “Nappy-heads.”
If Baylor lost it’s because they offended God. And now so has Cornyn.
Walnut can’t remember his own 2000 & 2008 campaign slogans, Big John doesn’t realize what day it is and thinks games from the night before are coming up; looks like today is the day the ancient Republican Senators reveal to us that, yes, they are suffering from Alzheimer’s-induced dementia.
But it makes them just like Reagan, and so ought to appeal to the base.
[re=548894]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Oh snap!
[re=548901]germansteel[/re]: Snip-snap indeed!
If anyone expects Big John to focus, basketball needs more rodeo clowns and fewer black people.
Great! We end evening with John Cornhole. He’s a great American! I love him so much.
And yet one expects he knows exactly what High School won the State Football Championship or whatever it’s called down there in Tejass.
Chicks playing basketball, he can screw that up all year long with no consequences. Get one small fact wrong in High School football and he need never return to the state again. Freakish folk down there.
Big John would have been better served by praying for an asteroid hit on the UConn women’s team bus on the way to the stadium.
John Cornholyn?
Was his screen name inspired by the legendary John Cocktoastin?
He’s too busy show riding horses in the rodeo for campaign spots while wearing $700 slacks and bull-rider body armor to pay that much attention to non-white sports. So cut him a break ‘lamestream’ media!!
Big John even wears his alligator skin cowboy boots when he’s blowing male hookers in Juarez. Gator skin is semen resistant.
But, God love him, he’s OUR US Senator. When you call Central Casting and say “send over a southern white male to be Senator” John Cornyn appears at your doorstep. I always thought I’d let Kay Hutchison just vote twice if it meant we could call him home, but after her disastrous run for Governor, I’m not so sure.
When he was little they called him Cornholio and he was on the teevee. I remember it well.
[re=549050]Y.T. Erickson[/re]:
Now He’s just a Corynholer.
[re=548906]chascates[/re]: God doesn’t like Baylor’s new President. And neither does this alum.
What’s with the metrosexual outfit in the good senator’s profile pic?
Dang, first the Lady Bears had to go up against UConn-not-beat-us, then they suffer the indignity of a greeting by Cornyn. Some teams can’t get a break.
And here I had assumed his tweets were postmarked 1922.
Good luck on the Presidential election tonight! McCain/Palin all the way!
It figures John Cornyn would fuck up similar announcements twice. He’s always a day late and several brain cells short.
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