Florida Republicans are always good for a laugh (Katherine Harris, etc.) or terrible scandal that destroys the national GOP during an election year (Mark Foley, etc.), so let’s see what’s going down in the “Alligator State” right now! Oh, look, jeez, the former Republican chair Jim Greer is being investigated for assigning his own company a “secret contract” from the Republican Party of Florida worth $200,000, and spending a million bucks of the party’s money on fancy European vacations. Charlie Crist, who picked Jim Greer for the GOP job, is not happy about this! He’s calling in the Feds!
As this humorous local news report shows, Jim Greer had a *deal* with the state GOP: He would be praised for all of his financial dealings being “on the up-and-up” and he would get a big severance check, the end. Right? Wrong, this is Florida! This is where the Mafia keeps summer mansions.
Oh and guess who reportedly spent big chunks of this pilfered money donated by Good Republican Floridians? Marco Rubio, the far-right wingnut running against Crist for the U.S. Senate. Rubio’s been using Republican Party of Florida credit cards for “thousands of dollars of personal expenditures.”
And here, from the Orlando Sentinel, is our buried lede:
TALLAHASSEE — Gov. Charlie Crist said Friday that the criminal investigation into the fundraising scandal surrounding his own hand-picked former Republican Party chairman should be transferred to the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Tallahassee, suggesting that tax violations could have occurred..
Crist made the request Friday in a one-paragraph letter that cited “the potential IRS implications” of the probe, which was ordered earlier this week by fellow Republican Attorney General Bill McCollum when he forwarded the findings of a party audit to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement.
Thank you, Florida! You scumbags never let us down. [Orlando Sentinel/YouTube]
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Why is Jeb the smartest person in every group he’s part of?
Please, Republicans, please just keep on wasting your donations on childrens’ clothing, lesbian strip clubs and vacations; the Democrats are already raising more than you, and don’t appear to see the money as a slush fund.
Of course, expect the Reps to get angry over this – at Crist. Like the Catholic Church, they see whistleblowing as a crime and the actual corruption as no big deal.
[re=548514]BarackMyWorld[/re]:
He has anyone with a higher IQ than his whacked and the bodies dropped in the Everglades.
Jim Greer is claiming breach ’cause the Party soiled their breeches after the IRS started pokemonning in the Greer tenure’s GOP fiscal poop? What’s with the shredder Jimbo unless this really is Green Age Mutant Ninja Turtle Shredder’s breach blanket bingo?
I’m glad that Crist took the high road on this one and demanded an investigation by the Feds into a matter that involves a political opponent.
America has four commonwealths (PA, VA, MA, KY) 45 states, and one cesspool: Florida. Go Charlie!
My longterm plan was to move back home to FLA once all the oldz, racists, and heat-stroked angertards down there eat each other alive. I’m thinking this summer is looking pretty good.
You have to love the absolute literal-ness of this report: when the announcer says “credit cards” they show pictures of the back of somebody’s credit cards. When the announcer says “fancy overseas trips,” they show a jet taking off. I wouldn’t have understood what “fancy overseas trips” means without that picture!
Florida: if their Olds had been able to figure out the wacky ballot, we’d never have had Chimpy’s Eight Years of Fail. It’s impossible to forgive them for this.
Here’s a green suggestion. Let’s dump all of the illegal baseball steroids — which are probably sitting in a warehouse in Tampa (winter home of the Yankees) — into the Everglades. The alligators will all grow to ginormous size.
Then we hire a fleet of trawlers to drag North Carolina pigmeat up Florida’s Gulf Coast, luring the alligators north. We offload the pigmeat onto flatbed trailers around Gainesville. The Giant Alligators From Hell follow the pigmeat and chomp their way east, and cut the entire state of Florida in two.
America’s Dong then floats down to Cuba on the Gulf Stream, and the tiny bit that remains gets annexed by Alabama (that part of Florida is Lower Alabama anyway).
So hundreds of thousands of jobs are created, the Mob gets an island for its casinos to replace the ones they lost in Cuba in 1959, the Jews still have a place to retire to, and the USA never has to worry about Florida scewing up a national election ever again.
I call it a win!
You know a generational shift is taking place in Florida when the old forces of corruption are under seige from the new forces of corruption. Of course, Crist and Greer are both the old forces, but Crist is trying to look like he’s cleaning house to fend off the attack from Marco Rubio. Anyway, as long as it goes badly for most concerned, I’m cool with it.
The people are finally realizing that the Republicans have no power. They are slowly bringing their abuses to light. We must Rise Up as One and Defeat Them!
You’re welcome!
[re=548530]V572625694[/re]: I resemble that remark…and no;I didn’t vote for “Chimpy”, dammit!
[re=548527]Hamster[/re]: I hope you’re right.
Be prepared, however, to spend every thin dime of discretionary monies you may have on homeowners “insurance”, which the wingtards down here have totally fucked. Also be prepared to rebuild your home with your monies in the event of a catastrophe; as you will have nothing forthcoming from these crooks.
[re=548533]memzilla[/re]: Jesus, you know that Florida’s completely fucking awful when “Make Alabama a little bigger” is a plan that unambiguously improves America.
[re=548534]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Republican cannibalism is one the world’s best spectator sports, but having Rubio end up on top of the Florida food chain? I’m not so sure.
[re=548543]bitchincamaro[/re]: Isn’t it more like Republican coprophagia than cannibalism? Isn’t that when one turd eats another?
1) They’re still doing more than the Catholic Church is doing about its own problems.
2) I like the Democrats’ spokesman and his Woody Allen impersonation.
Dear Florida Democrats!
Do not go on camera in a t-shirt and blazer! (Esp. if not a turquoise shirt and white linen blazer!) Do not talk out loud if you talk like Droopy on meth! The Republicans are doing a fine job in their circular firing squad, don’t remind anyone what an annoying bunch of goodgovernment weenies we are! Slam them on background, Lee Atwater style!
Sincerely,
NH
P.S. Also plz find someone cool to hang around with.
[re=548543]bitchincamaro[/re]: Rubio is bad, but as in Arizona there’s the hope that giving the Republican nod to a total crazy will could turn the seat into a Dem pickup, or at least make it possible.
[re=548541]freakishlystrong[/re]: I’ll just pick up a McMansion for like $50K, so that should leave me with a little disaster money. That is of course after I land a sweet gig with Volusia County removing political and “We Buy Houses” signs from medians. I’ll leave up the dem signs.
[re=548533]memzilla[/re]:
Well that’s a pretty good plan. But you forgot one thing. What do you do with the ginormous alligators after the dirty deed is done?
May I suggest you send them to Texas where they could eat Dallas and then be turned into cowboy boots for the homeless?
Just a thought.
[re=548533]memzilla[/re]: [re=548542]Zadig[/re]: That is totally harsh and completely uncalled fore…
A portion of my dear family lives in south Florida…
Stop it, already…!
Is it the water or just the fact they live in US Americuh’s limp dong that makes Florida such a nuthouse? It’s a sad state of affairs when I watch Miami Vice Reruns and Scarface and think “Oh, the good old days for Florida.”
[re=548553]ManchuCandidate[/re]: It probably comes from living in a state filled with 15-foot long reptiles that like to eat people; that and the extreme heat could drive anyone nuts.
[re=548530]V572625694[/re]: Bill O’Tarded does the same thing on his show–when he’s denouncing porn or sexy Halloween costumes, he has to show video and pictures, because I guess his lily-white pure audience has no idea what those things are.
[re=548553]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I watch “Hurricane Island” (1951, starring Marie Windsor as “that lady pirate” Jan Bolton, and Edgar Barrier as Ponce de Leon) and think the very same thing.
[re=548546]weejee[/re]: weejee, is that you? Sounds like you…
Gramps sends…
No one should be surprised by this–this is how Republicans work:
1. Get in charge/gain power
2. Funnel all the money to your friends and yourself
3. Get caught
4. Get promoted*!
* Republicans forced out of the organizations they are heading might not be eligible for a promotion, so they may have to take a position at a conservative think-tank, Fox News, or any number of other wingnut welfare organizations.
[re=548533]memzilla[/re]: Just let it go!
I’ve never seen a state governor beg so enthusiastically for a federal probe.
[re=548550]Hamster[/re]: Heh. Good luck finding a Dem sign in Volusia County for starters. That’s like trying to find a house in Kissimmee that didn’t start out as a double-wide.
Charlie want’s this Greer can of worms kicked over to the US Attorney’s Office.
This is because Fla. AG Bill McCollum is far too fucking busy defeating Maoist ObamaCare (so that we’ll be spared health coverage that tramples on our US Declaration of Constitution. To which I say, amen, Jesus.)
[re=548546]weejee[/re]: Don’t make me get out my scattology dictionary.
[re=548533]memzilla[/re]: [re=548542]Zadig[/re]: Yes, but make sure that Georgia gets Lake City. Because of the adult megasuperoutletstore, is all.
[re=548556]JMP[/re]:
My tea totaling/non gun owning/non drug taking dad made similar comments when he visited friends in Az. He figured that if he lived there all that heat and sand would make him want to drink, smoke meth and shoot things all day.
[re=548560]chaste everywhere[/re]:
Ha
[re=548566]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Good point. My previous post should have said: “I will leave up the dem sign.” Also, definitely buying a house the doesn’t require hurricane straps.
[re=548514]BarackMyWorld[/re]: It is one of nature’s miracles. The Floridian Jebbush (a sub-species of Sucker Fish) secretes a chemical from its skin that creates a dense fog of irony from which nothing but the bottom feeder itself is immune.
[re=548568]bitchincamaro[/re]: Didn’t Charlie Parker and Dizzy Gillespie record “Scattology” around 1941 or so?
[re=548562]Gramps[/re]: ’tis I, but we oldz on the left coast are a bit later to rise.
[re=548568]bitchincamaro[/re]: Wouldn’t want that. Boop, oop, a, poop.
Crist hasn’t really been one of the Republican boys since he got married.
[re=548558]BlueStateLiberal[/re]: Hang on, Billy-O shows porn and sexy holloween costumes? Who knew *sets TIVO*
Why stop with Florida?
[re=548543]bitchincamaro[/re]: If Christ goes to Congress, he’ll waste just oodles and oodles and ooodles of time trying to keep his cumin skin-glow up the standards of Rep. John Bonne-heure (R. – Leatherface, Oh.)
With his Ricky Martin, latino tawny tint, Rubio will have no need to fritter away hours under an office sun lamp. Instead, he can focus on ‘muy importante’ shit of the Senate, like oiling down Scott Brown and making sure that Coburn takes his meds.
I’d say ‘blow me Charlie” if I were not in fear of my dangly dong being swallowed up like a big fat juicy dill pickle.
Memzilla: WIN (what a mensch!)
[re=548590]weejee[/re]: How do you manage to get any shuteye out there…with all that “shakin’ and bakin’ goin’ on…?
Hey…and don’t you know that Metamucil is not a secret ingredient…?
[re=548533]memzilla[/re]: What if it capsizes?
Just when you thought Carl Hiaasen couldn’t top his previous efforts, we get this story…
[re=548533]memzilla[/re]: Happy baseball season!!
(See how I did that without taking a swipe at the Yankees?)
[re=548518]JMP[/re]: Like Don Rumsfeld and the Abu Ghraib photos: The only wrongdoer was the whistleblower; now cell-phone cameras are forbidden in US gulags.
“This is where the Mafia keeps summer mansions.” And they stay on Lon Guyland in the winter? Wow, they’re even dumber than I thought.
memzilla: Wouldn’t you be concerned, with southern FL being eastern-coast heavy, that it would tip over whilst floating?
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