It's called the WHITE House, take our country BACK (from coloreds).
Of course this story got buried on the weekend, when nobody pays attention to anything. Obama, that thief who somehow won the election by getting all those popular and electoral votes, filled out his nasty socialist Census — when did we have to deal with that intrusive crap before Nobama, eh? — and what do you know, Mister Chicago Street Thug ‘fessed up and described himself as “black” on the Census form, according to journalistic Truth Crusader the Politico. Fishy, no? Wasn’t his mom white? Or did he even *have* a mom? Kenyans have two daddies, we heard.

But the Politico version of this crucial story was somehow lacking, presentation-wise, compared to the MSNBC story. Why does MSNBC hate white America:
Yeah, maybe official in the SOVIET UNION.
(Thanks to Wonkette operatives “Sparky” and “Sonya F.” and another dozen of you good people who took time out of your weekend orgies to point us to these MSNBC and Politico articles.)

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  1. But the important question is how many times a day does his family flush the toilet a day?
    In the land of sun and fun
    We don’t flush for number one.

  2. Arguably, if he had to choose one or the other, he could choose white. Mom white, dad black, that’s a tie. He was raised by the moms family, tipping the scales. But really, who cares. Too bad there isn’t a box that says doof or intellectual.

  3. Saw this in the WSJ this morning – I was waiting for the shitstorm to start. I’m sure we’ll be hearing the Nobama is a rascist in 3..2..1..

  4. If he wasn’t the president of the United States would anyone care what box he checked?
    White folks know they made up the one drop rule
    so i wish they would stop acting surprised when it’s used

  5. I thought he was a Kenyan Indonesian Mooslim Christian Anti-Semite Nazi Commie Socialist Hitler. They don’t have a box for that in the US Americuh Cesus (sic)?

    The family portrait is interesting. I wonder if it was socialism that made the photog put the child with the parent they resembled the most.

  6. Gawd, this is so fucking pitiful. The respect I feel for the media could fit on the head of a pin, and this stupid shit reduced it even from that. That MSNBC headline is just vomit-inducing. Do you want a stool sample, too, MSNBC?

    The president is a far more patient and open man than myself. I’d have simply told ’em to fuck off and go back on the same dead horse on which you came.

  7. [re=548175]SayItWithWookies[/re]: way to ignore the REAL question, politico: did john boehner check “leather-faced oompaloompa-caucasian-american”?

  8. [re=548159]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: I know, right? Wait ’till Michelle finds out she’s been messing with a black man. She’ll go blab proudly to all of her friends.

    [re=548166]Troubledog[/re]: WWHBS? What Would Haley Barbour Say? I like it; it has a nice ring to it. However, I believe Haley, being from Mississippi and whatnot, is much more partial to old fashioned and standard “Negro” or maybe when he’s feeling creative (which is also the feeling he gets when his fat-ass is with gas) the more florid and poetic “Quadroon” and “Ocotoroon” or “Muggle”.

    BTW, hand to god, one of the inbred Hutaree wives up here in Michigan defending herself against the charge or racism said she and her husband and kin can’t be racist, because they’ve got “Colored” friends. Seriously, this girl was no older than 20-something years old living a few dozen miles from Detroit, and the bitch used the word Colored as naturally and unironic as she would any other word her her limited vocabulary. God bless the hicks!

  9. [re=548177]obfuscator[/re]: which is what Charlie Crist should have checked as well.. Also, Glenn Beck actually circled the box for Pig-eyed Fuckface instead of following directions, so he may get his back.

  10. Perhaps this whole “I too, are a Black” declaration was demanded by Peter Cottontail’s ‘domestic partner’ Brer Rabbit, in exchange for a shiny new iPad for Barack left under the Easter Tree in the morn?

  11. Well sh*t…I totally wouldn’t have voted for him if I’d known about this. I thought he just went to the same tanning salon as Mitt Romney.

  12. The census actually says “Black, Af. American, of Negro.” (which is it?)
    Why can’t ‘whites’ have 3? “White, Eu. American, or Regular”?
    Common real american sense says it’s a UN plot. That’s why I shredded my census form and donated it to Glenn Beck’s Ticker Tape parade for the freedoms of 9-12 project.

  13. [re=548191]SayItWithWookies[/re]: you know how your index and middle fingers turn orangey after decades of smoking? it’s like boehner’s entire body is like that.

    i’d say he’s also 21% smoky apricot, 289% burnt orange.

  14. [re=548194]BadKitty[/re]: good god!! It’s time to gear up for another “March on Washington” (KKK rally + Golden Corral buffet everyday!) or for another patriot to defy big government (by ramming a plane into a federal building). It’s parenthesis night!! (fuck yeah!!)

  15. Happy Easter all you libtard, vegan, atheist, commie-fascist, Prius-driving, Ethiopian Jews difficult to encapsulate, yet ever-amusing wits. Invoking Fuzzy Bunny Racist Zoeller, Enjoy your chocolate eggs, or leg of lamb….or whatever you people eat.

  16. [re=548199]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: i’m actually hoping that barry sat at the resolute desk after watching some cable news and decided to check “black as hell, motherfucker” just to piss off every Fucking Retard in america.

  17. [re=548201]obfuscator[/re]: And then go out and give Easter eggs to a gaggle of enthusiastic American kids from every race, religion, creed, and roots.

  18. [re=548201]obfuscator[/re]: feet on the desk, sans jacket.. No, wait– feet on desk in his Presential Skivvies with a nice single malt scotch in hand.

  19. [re=548182]obfuscator[/re]: [re=548182]obfuscator[/re]: I believe your both right, good job.

    I just can’t believe the President is Black, why didn’t someone tell(MSNBC) us sooner?

  20. I’m going to go out on a limb and defend the fucktards here, a little bit, without actually denying their inherent and, apparently, eternal fucktardedness.
    First, it was a case of damned if you do or damned if you don’t for Barry. If he’d have checked “white” the wingers heads would have truly sploded.
    But it was also a case of damned if you do or damned if you don’t for the headline writers at Politico. What I’m getting at here is I hate the term “African-American.” African-American doesn’t delineate black people more specifically, it’s merely an unnecessary synonym, a euphemism for something that didn’t need a euphemism.
    I have seen, in the press, people described as African-American who were not American at all. Also, when you see a news report about an unidentified person of that race, as in “the suspect is an African-American male, approximately 6 feet tall and 190 lbs.” it’s possibly untrue, since you have no proof that the suspect is American.
    The term can be misleading, and misleading is inherently dangerous.
    So, I’ve got no problem with the headline writers at Politico using the word black. They are still fucktards, for plenty of other reasons, but I’m not adding negative points for this one.

  21. I believe that’s what happens when Politico is understaffed.. Next, they will totally win some fucking morning with “The Sky is Blue– Today”. Or, Scoop!–“Why America Loves Dick Cheney”..

  22. [re=548207]gurukalehuru[/re]: I think you’re TOTALLY overthinking this. People are angry that the story was done in the first place, not what term was used. I mean, did anyone ever ask Dubya what his dumb ass checked on the Census? I’m sure when Dubya fills out the form, this year, and gets to the question of what his race is, he’ll stare into the sky and ask why “100 meter dash” wasn’t listed.

  23. [re=548191]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Seriously, someone needs to take a picture of Boner to Home Depot (or your local, indepdent paint shop/hardware store if you’re a dirty, fucking hippie) and match him up with the appropriate swatch/sample. I’m insanely interested in what number this guy is. I’d think he’d be a High Fulvous.

  24. Well, I just gotta say (mostly because goddamn it, something woke me up and here it is the middle of the night, and I lost my snark) that I lurve that pix of that family, whatever box(es) they checked.

  25. [re=548169]danadevin85[/re]: Lol he only marked what the rest of us Blk Ppl have been marking since they took “colored” off as a category. Whites are just tripped up by Obama because they think so-called “mixed” people only look like Halle Berry…oh, wait…

  26. Hm, gee, I wonder what box my grandmother in Arkansas checked, after they instituted their one-drop rule in 1913, when she was 17. I doubt “Black White Cherokee” was ever an option, so I’m going with “colored”.

  27. Isn’t that MuslinArab guy who moved to Newark from Ethiopia to be a U.S. citizen an African-American? Just askin.’

    Black is black… Want my baby back.

  28. no snark: this white guy (cock asian if you like) would really like to be the father if Michelle Obama’s next few kids…

  29. [re=548193]obfuscator[/re]: Sounds like Boehner’s color would be 30% Tar, 70% Nicotine.

    By the way, now that I’m officially a Wonkette Operative, do I get a special “press pass” that I can carry around? And when do I get my big paycheck (I’m assuming operatives get paid in cat food coupons? Cigarette butts?)

  30. [re=548198]El Pinche[/re]: Marching is too much like exercise. Best to protest by purchasing crap from the son of Eric and sending it , by mail, to DC in ones stead.

  31. Obviously, this is what’s known in the gossip-rag business as a “slow news day.” What, precisely, did they THINK he was going to check on the Census form?

    And are those kids adorable or what?!

  32. [re=548235]Autochthon[/re]: Pope. Yes it’s a slow Pope news weekend. Pope. What else are they Pope going to get excited Pope about? Pope.

  33. [re=548200]Radiotherapy[/re]: Leg of egg, chocolate lamb. Whatever.
    Happy Easter, All.
    Thanks for sharing the joy and sorrow.

    “Roll away the stone.
    Don’t leave me here alone.
    Resurrect me, and protect me.
    Don’t leave me laying here.
    What will they do in two thousand years?”

  34. What? There wasn’t a box marked “NI6GA”?

    [re=548193]obfuscator[/re]: Is it smoking or bathing in masticated Cheeto slurry that makes Boehner look like that?

  35. [re=548200]Radiotherapy[/re]: And a Happy Zombie Jesus Day to you, too!

    Doesn’t BHNobama know he’s pretty much used up all his Affirmative Action points now so he should feel free to check black and white, just like I do?

  36. He didn’t check “black and white?” What is he, a cookie?

    /snark off
    I’ll tell you what, I was a really good reporter, if I do say so myself, and it would never have occurred to me to ask that question. As an editor, I’d have slapped any reporter who came up with that question. I saw this post last night, and it made me sick.

    What I want to know is why Gibbs, presumably, answered the question. Why didn’t he give them the fisheye and say, “What is your problem?” until the reporter died of whatever stupidity caused it to ask the question. That is all.

  37. [re=548244]AnglRdr[/re]: Hey, I celebrate that holiday ’cause if Jesus rose from the dead, doesn’t that make him a Zombie? So we enjoy our Zombie Jesus Day with an annual viewing of Zombie flicks.

    I wonder if any Congress-dude will take up the cause and re-label the “race” boxes on the census?

  38. [re=548245]Katydid[/re]: In all seriousness, I actually think it is valid question to ask, but that’s because I am biracial myself, and my daughter is actually black, white and Asian.

    While the census allows for self-identification, I do think he erred in not marking black and white. Sociologically speaking, I don’t think it can be said his American experience has been exclusively informed by being black in America, as he was raised by a white mother.

    I’m a little hopped up on chocolate and jelly beans right now to explain it very well, though.

    [re=548249]Fly Over Girl[/re]: I am totally adopting/stealing your tradition and making it mine, because it is that awesome.

  39. Looking at the photo, we’ve got one very intelligent President, one extremely hot First Lady and two adorable and from all accounts polite and well-adjusted kids. Who gives a rat’s rear-end about how they filled out the Census form?

  40. Don’t worry, Hopey, this halfrican checked Black, too. They’re only acting shitty because you’re famous. If you weren’t, there’d be no question of your blackness, as they’d all be grabbing their purses tighter and crossing the street to avoid you. Yeah, even in that suit.

  41. [re=548251]AnglRdr[/re]: I was raised by a white mother, too, but they sure as shit don’t see a white lady walking down the street when Chuckie Jesus is on the stroll.

    Yeah, sure, us halfricans are speshul snowflakes, and sure, the “multiracial experience” is a tad different from the “black experience”. We all know that. The census is probably going to have to catch up with that, eventually. But, for me, the “Black” box worked just fine. It probably works OK for Hopey, too. They would have bitched at him no matter what he put down.

    “I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now I only have two things: my friends and… uh… my thermos. Huh? My story? Okay. It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child…” – Steve Martin, The Jerk

  42. [re=548251]AnglRdr[/re]: Thank you :) You are very welcolme to participate. My fave is Shawn of the Dead. On a good year, we usually get through about three Zombie flicks. This year will prolly be limited to one.

    The New Year’s tradition is to watch all three Lord of the Rings extended versions back-to-back-to-back. There are a couple of personal reasons for doing it, but I like the ties to the New Year with your journey in life and the destruction of the ultimate evil (aka Cheney).

  43. Black man, black woman, black baby
    White man, white woman, white baby
    White man, black woman, black baby
    Black man, white woman, black baby

    (Just had to throw a little PE into the mix!)

  44. You mean to tell me that uppity negro is Black?!
    I always knew there something was a bit “off” about him.


  45. Happy Easter Libtards.

    Have some inappropriate holiday lyrics from Zappa.

    Those Jesus Freaks
    Well, they’re friendly but
    The shit they believe
    Has got their minds all shut
    An’ they don’t even care
    When the church takes a cut
    Ain’t it bleak when you got so much nothin’
    (So whaddya do)
    Eat that pork
    Eat that ham
    Laugh till ya choke
    On Billy Graham
    Moses, Jesus ‘n Abraham…
    They’re all a waste of time
    ‘N it’s yer ass that’s on the line

  46. [re=548256]Chuckie Jesus[/re]: there can be some blowback…my grandfather was half Shawnee Indian but could pass for white. So he did. and now all us descendants do not get free NA college scholarships.
    He could have admitted he was Native American, and been deported to the Rez for life.
    but sadly no, all us kids have to pay for school forever because he wanted to live like a white guy.

  47. [re=548251]AnglRdr[/re]: I don’t agree that it’s a valid question from the press, unless, to your point, they want to report why it’s a valid question. But the Politico report isn’t that story, and the MSNBC linky is no longer good, so I didn’t read it. With that headline, why do I doubt it’s a good story?

  48. [re=548261]sati demise[/re]: Hey, at least your grandfather had a choice (sort of). One of the lesser-known tragedies here in the Commmonwealth of Virginia is that there was a guy who listed all First Peoples as Colored because there wasn’t much recognition of Indian tribes and he could basically do whatever he wanted. Thus he bureaucratically buried the heritage of many many people here. I’ll see if I can find his name and some info.

  49. [re=548244]AnglRdr[/re]: [re=548243]rocktonsammy[/re]: Happy Zombie Jesus Day ? You mena Week-end , doncha – down here, ‘Er Majesty grants us Good Friday and Easter Monday for holidays so we have plenty of time to get right pissed. The Tazzies even get Easter Tuesday on top, lucky bastards! By then, we”ve finished the wine, we’re sick of lamb (especially if you’re on a station and you know one of your M8s shagged it earlier) and even the Choco Bilbies – shaped like a yummy desert rat since the Aussie HATE bloody rabbits… but it latelatelate here and I’m off to bed. Happy Zombie Jesus day, yanks!

  50. Why is there no place on the form to check “mulatto,” “quadroon” or “octoroon”? That way Barry and would not be forced into an impossible choice. It would be more precise and informative, too.

  51. On another note, how could anyone, racist redneck half-wit or not, look at that pic and think anything evil? It’s like goddamn Father Knows Best! This has to be the most normal, well-adjusted family in America. God bless Zombie Jesus, and Murka, for the children. And Lizard People.

  52. Wake UP, sheeple! By checking the “black” box, for the next 10 years 1600 Pennsylvania Ave will be inhabited by 5 people of color according to statistics, thereby bending the curve and probably providing for free lunches at that Friends school or whatnot.

  53. [re=548167]ArugulaTeleprompterz[/re]: Saw this in the WSJ this morning – I was waiting for the shitstorm to start. I’m sure we’ll be hearing the Nobama is a rascist in 3..2..1..

    Oh, the retards have been harping on this all weekend already.

  54. I am still looking for a story on what race Boehner claimed. Certainly, the liberal media must have done a hit piece on Boehner about whether or not he picked “white” on the census form.

  55. I think it’d be cool if the US Census people sent out deluxe boxes of Crayola crayons with each form and asked the respondent to fill it out with whichever crayon most closely matched their skin tone. For fun. And accuracy.


  56. [re=548294]Jim89048[/re]: Wow. I hadn’t thought about that. What’s it going to do to the resale value of properties on the 1600 Penn block?

  57. In America, if you’re even just a little bit black, you’re black, black, black as the ace of spades. This is called Equality. Really that particular box on the Census form is more a matter of how well you can dance.

  58. In his defense, the socialists who run the census objected to including the terms “half-breed” and “octoroon.” Plus checking black is a good way to get a nubile young white census worker to perform a follow-up seeking “verification.”

  59. “Wasn’t his mom white? Or did he even *have* a mom? Kenyans have two daddies, we heard.”

    Or he is a “Kenyan pod person,” which is ever so troubling…

    Or one of his two “Kenyan daddies” is in fact white, Jewish, and happens to be Paul Reiser.


  60. As far as I’ve seen, the only people who are disappointed by this are the mixed-race folks who are really into being mixed-race and wanted Obama to legitimize them as some kind of separate and permanent ethnicity.

    Which is kind of pointless. If you have a black and white parent, that will be true for you, but not for your offspring. Whoever they choose to reproduce with will take their descendants down a different path. And “mixed race” is not a “culture” with a long-established history. Is there some culture where all members are required to marry someone of another race? That’s absurd. Unless you’re counting some old New Orleans caste society that frowns on members marrying people who are darker than a paper bag in an attempt to establish a “better” i.e. “lighter” cast within the black community.

    I think Americans in general are really confused about what an “African-American” is versus a person who is genetically descended from Africans. In case you hadn’t noticed, “African-Americans” come in a variety of skin colors. This is, to put it bluntly, because of generations of rape by slave owners. Our ancestors were mixed-race by force, cruelty and slaveowners’ privilege. Yet our different shades are not a “separate ethnicities,” because we all share the same specifically African-American culture.

    So, since the 50s or 60s, black and white folks may have chosen willingly to partner with each other and raise families. Their kids might be genetically identical to someone who carries just as many white and black genes due to slavery, but the cultural experience of being an African-American with ancestors who have mixed genetics as well, is different than modern, one-generation, “mixed-race” experience. And after the races mix once, I think it’s likely that descendants are going to choose.

    Obama made his choice, when he figured out his identity for himself, and when he chose who to marry, long before he filled out his census. So deal.

  61. Master chess player Obama just checked “black” as a King’s Gambit opening move. Theory has shown that in order for Black to maintain the gambit pawn, he may well be forced to weaken his kingside. This is far from over.

  62. [re=548400]Chet Kincaid[/re]: You’re pretty bold to try and delegitimize people who view themselves as mixed race an attach and identity to that. What’s it to you if people personally choose not to formally let history and society define who they see themselves and their children as in the future? Most other Western nations have a concept of a mixed-race ethnicity, much in the same way some folks have chosen to group themselves as hispanic or latino despite their varying cultures. So long as mixed-race people don’t identify as such because they are ashmed or of one or more of their identities, they certainly don’t need your judgement. So you deal with it.

  63. [re=548165]FlipOffResearch[/re]: would any of that “tip the scales” if he was trying to catch a cab late at night in nyc, or if he was being charged with a crime? does it “tip the scales” for the batshit teabaggers? i’m going to go with no. the man lived his life as a black man before he walked into the oval office, and he still does. wake me up when white america is eager to claim a couple of mixed race crack dealers to “their side,” because when you look at the specifics it turns out they happened to be raised by their white side.

  64. Bella: What white guy are you seeing in that picture? If he wasn’t famous, you’d grab your purse a little tighter and cross the street. He is, as Huey Freeman told Jazmine DuBois she was, “as black as Shaft in Africa”. So, *pats head*.

  65. [re=549199]Bella[/re]: Yes we can!

    [re=549164]Chuckie Jesus[/re]: From one mutt to another … yes we did.

    [re=548165]FlipOffResearch[/re]: It’s only a tie if it was a competition so … meh, no winner.

  66. what census? Who’s black? aw crap overslept again. Teabaggers must have turned my alarm clock off, so they can count me as umemployed. They will send you the census form six times and then they go ask your neighbor, why not save the postage and ask your neighbor from the git go.

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