Liberals Misconstrue Erick Erickson, Who Will Not Shoot Census Workers Like He Said He Would

  quitter

Wingnuts are, have been, and will be for the foreseeable future furious over the tyrannical overreach inherent in the ACS survey, a more detailed extension of the Census that the government will make a few million people fill out every year. Sometimes, if you are going out of your way to avoid it, ACS workers will visit your house urging you to fill it out. Erick Erickson, of CNN and RedState super-celebrity status, said yesterday that if this happened, he would take his wife’s shotgun (!) and “and see how that little ACS twerp likes being scared at the door.”

Erickson writes on his blog today that the damn liberals had “misconstrued” his comment, and people should listen to his radio show for further comment. Well, we missed today’s episode.

He probably said that liberals were accusing him of trying to shoot ACS workers, when all he really said was that he would threaten them with a shotgun if they ever came to his property. Again: all he did was publicly threaten public employees with gun violence if they ever have to do their jobs.

ACS should call his bluff! Totally make Erick Erickson part of this year’s sampling, ha ha. Go to his house. We’re betting his wife keeps her shotgun locked away from him, until he learns to use it.

What else were we going to say in this lazy Friday post… oh right: it’s pretty funny how the one complaint they keep raising is, “It’s none of their business how many times we flush the toilet per day.” Oh hell yeah you tell ‘em there boss haw haw but then again WHO GIVES A SHIT. Aww, poor baby has to estimate for the government worker how many times he flushes the toilet a day! Wah, wah! Just think of what divulging THAT information would lead to! Might as well tattoo your taxpayer PIN and SSN to the ACS workers’ cocks & boobs, if they’re going to ask how many times you flush the fucking toilet per day, approximately.

ACS: Tell us, Erick, how many times do you think you and your family members flush the toilet per day?

ERICK SON OF ERICK: Alright, whatever. Ten? Let’s go with ten.

ACS: You shouldn’t have answered that, you FOOL. Now we have the legal right to STEAL AND EAT YOUR BABIES!!!! YOU SIGNED THE CONTRACT WITH YOUR ANSWER! MWAHHHAAA

It could happen here.

[Gawker]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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136 comments

  1. jus_wonderin

    Erick Erickson? Is he an American? How much you wanna bet his middle name is Erick.

  2. chascates

    Threatening someone with a gun certainly isn’t considered a crime. In all of the South, Idaho, Alaska, etc.

  3. FlownOver

    When there’s never a penis in the house sometimes a girl’s gotta grab her shotgun.

  4. Bearbloke

    Hey RedHater – go for it! A pasty yet tasty morsel like you will be quite popular in a prison shower…

    [re=547907]ManchuCandidate[/re]: [Inflatable] Wife…

  5. CanadianBacon

    Why this phobia about how often a conservative uses a toilet, unless the rumour about conservatives being full of shit and never using a toilet is true.Or do only elites flush the toilet?

  6. Potater

    [re=547922]CanadianBacon[/re]: Because asking about the toilet leads to the inevitable question: “How often do you shower?”

    Conservatives never have an answer to that.

  7. Oldskool

    We can only hope his inevitable hostage standoff is live on CNN with screaming reporters running around in the background.

  8. Mustang

    I have to tell you I could get behind a liturgical calendar that featured Lazy Friday.

  9. Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=547910]doxastic[/re]: He’s partial to the upper decker, and doesn’t like anyone asking questions about his beloved toilets. He doesn’t want anyone getting close to his stinky poopy masterpieces, er masterfeces..

  10. Mustang

    [re=547926]Oldskool[/re]: Maybe it’s the glass of sacramental wine I’m enjoying right now, but I read that as “screaming raptors,” which would be good too.

  11. comicbookguy

    He’s just mad because all the temporary census workers skewed the employment numbers in Obama’s favor.

  12. Oldskool

    [re=547929]Mustang[/re]: The movie based on the book will probably use raptors. He does have that hostage-taker look, amirite?

  13. Servo

    David Koresh something similar, Erick. Even idle threats of gun violence to federal employees will get the ATF really fuckin’ agitated. G’head, FreeDumbass!

  14. zhubajie

    The cenus has been around for 200 + years. It is decreed in the Constitution. Why didn’t these people upset before? I’ve done research in returns for the census of agriculture from the mid-19th century, and they asked all kinds of questions.

    When did conservatives become a bunch of over-grown two-year-olds?

  15. SayItWithWookies

    Only in RedState America, ladies and gentlemen, is a survey mailed to your house an act of terrorism, while threatening someone with one’s wife’s shotgun is just one of those common expressions that’s not to be taken literally.
    Oh, and Erick, son of Erick — be sure to wear the matching Dubya codpiece when wielding the spouse’s shootin’ iron.

  16. kth

    Erick’s a little sensitive because he has to avail himself of the “booster flush” more often than most guys. Of course it would help if he could learn to take it easy on the paper…

  17. Mustang

    [re=547933]Oldskool[/re]: He has the look of a guy who lists among his ancestors Mr. Potato Head, I am sorry to report.

  18. comicbookguy

    Do not, repeat, DO NOT, show up at his house in a duck costume wielding a dildo mallet.

  19. ManchuCandidate

    [re=547951]comicbookguy[/re]:
    Actually, that’s called Friday Night at the Ewickson household.

  20. SmutBoffin

    “In 2008, the ACS will release its first multiyear estimates based on ACS data collected from 2005 through 2007. These 3-year estimates of demographic, social, economic and housing characteristics…”

    Sounds like tyranny to me. I’m with Erick O’Erick; these demographers must die.

  21. Barrelhse

    I hope he wears the wife’s “Dildo Mallet” T-shirt while brandishing her shotgun.

  22. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    Always nice to see conservatives publicly and proudly proclaim how small their penises are.

  23. sati demise

    They only ask is you have a toilet, not how many times you flush.

    But now, it they lose my form and come a’knockin’, I know to grab my shotgun.
    I sent the form on Monday! Just want the CIA to know that up front.

  24. BlueStateLibtard

    I am most amazed that: 1) he has a wife, and 2) she didn’t shoot him with said shotgun a long time ago.

  25. Maus

    [re=547974]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: “I am most amazed that: 1) he has a wife”

    Women can be horribly terrible people too. Have you heard the teabaggers/PUMAs (one and the same) speak? There’s plenty of retired bigot dogladies desperate to have their retarded utterences acknowledged.

  26. Aurelio

    Jesus was born during the Census of Quirinius in 6 or 7 AD, if you believe the Gospel of Luke. (He was also born under the reign of Herod the Great, who died in 4 BC, if you believe Gospel of Matthew. But let’s assume the Census account in Luke is correct.

    Now my question is, did the census takers register Jesus? Did ask Jesus how many toilets He had in his house? Or what His race is? And did he just say, “Waaaaah!” when they did that? If so, it proves that census takers are intrinsically evil, and Erick should be given credit for defending Christianity and defenseless divine infants everywhere.

  27. smellyal8r

    We are really up the creek when people think the Census is some sort of “gummit plot” that they need to get out their shootin’ irons over. Ridiculous. I guess they think the Census will what? Create more libraries? Allow the election of more Democrats? Put them “on the grid” for the black helicopters to find their houses?

    I also like that nutjobs like Erick Son of Erick are being called out by liberals or whoever…”so, you want to shoot Census workers, is that true?”
    “Well, uh, now that’s being taken out of context. What I said wuz…”
    [re=547978]Maus[/re]: No kidding. They are almost worse than the menfolk. Plus, they tend to either be skinny smokers or fat fatties.

  28. Snarkalicious

    [re=547954]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Do YOU want to be mistaken for part of that fracas and pulled into the action? I mean, mebbe that’s how shit goes down in “Eh”lamabad…

  29. Neilist

    But what TYPE of shotgun does the wife own? The classic 20 gauge Girl’s Gun? Or the .410 Republican Retard Montgomery Ward POS?

    Or maybe even the 16 gauge “Shoot A Lawyer In The Face” Karl Rove “Dove” model?

    Details, Jim! We need DETAILS!

  30. Aurelio

    The 48-question ACS survey is also used as a punishment for those who fail to fill out the short form. Anyway, that’s what happened to me in 2000. I realize this is a hasty generalization. But it would not be untypical of our fine government to do this, now would it? When the census taker came around after I failed to send in the 10 question form, he used the ACS form on me instead. And the census taker filled it out for me, during the interrogation.

    Erick son of Eric is nuts, but even he may not be wrong about everything.

  31. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=547994]zhubajie[/re]: That’s what I was wondering? Seems like we’ve done this a few times before in our history. I just enjoy the fact that this will probably lessen the population enough in a few wingnut districts to ‘census’ their representative right out of a job (see Bachmann, Michelle).

  32. Sparky McGruff

    [re=547947]kth[/re]: I’m not sure what you’re saying. The “booster flush” should be looked on as a matter of pride. Any guy with teeny turds should be viewed with suspicion in my book.

  33. Sparky McGruff

    [re=547994]zhubajie[/re]: Did he get this worked up about the last census?

    Probably not, but that one wasn’t set up for the explicit purpose of organizing for the white slavery internment camps.

  34. Plasmasmell

    I know a guy who’s going to be working for the census. An Iraq war vet, as it happens. Not exactly a “little twerp,” more like a big, muscular army guy. Wouldn’t it just be hilarious if Erick Erickson threatened one of our sacred troops with a shotgun for doing his job?

    Anyway, I have filled out my form. It asked me how many people live in my house and what color they are. I kept searching for the part about political views and how many abortions I’d had, but I couldn’t find it – I guess the FBI’s already got it on file, right?

  35. Barrelhse

    [re=547981]Aurelio[/re]: Joseph grabbed Mary’s Browning Auto-5, 30 inch, full-choke, 12 gauge shotgun out of the manger and made the little twerp pee his pants.. Same shotgun as was used at their wedding ceremony.

  36. Zadig

    [re=547926]Oldskool[/re]: Shit yeah, it’ll happen. Odds are that CNN puts a clause in all their talking heads’ contracts that they have to call CNN first if they wanna go on a batshit shooting spree. Great way to fill up that 24-hour news cycle.

    Can you imagine, turning on CNN to see Wolf Blitzer holding up a bank? My money’s on Larry King breaking down first, though.

  37. Jim89048

    I’m not telling them how many times a day I flush my toilet. If they want that information, it’ll cost them. They’re welcome to pump my septic system and measure/weigh the contents thereof, and kindly haul away their evidence, saving me hundreds of Ameros in the process.

  38. What Fresh Hell is This?

    Butch Butcherson? Stain Stainerson? Douthat Douthatson?

    Is CNN still on? I hadn’t noticed.

  39. AddHomonym

    [re=548010]Plasmasmell[/re]: The troops forfeit their troopeyness when they (1) speak out against the warz (2) run for office as a Democrap (3) go work for the Big Government. You forgot that part.

  40. Mr Blifil

    Meh, this is all an act anyway. “Hey watch this CNN hired me because I create controversy. So I’ll go on my radio show that nobody in the world even knew existed and say some shit like “Rep. John Lewis kinda reminds me of a tranny hooker.” And then the media will flip out and say that I must use tranny hookers and CNN should fire me. But I’ll be all like “WHAT UP BITCHES” because, you see, I’m actually pretty sure the John Lewis IS a tranny hooker on the side, I have people working on this. And moreover I will pull out the reverse reverse-racism charge, and simply call him a nigger, and the whole cycle will start over. SCHWEET!”

  41. S.Luggo

    Newell:
    Thanks for the paraphrase of the title the 1935 Sinclair Lewis novel. (What novel?)

    “Who is Berzelius Windrip?”

  42. heathenish

    Also I’m thinking the American Community Survey is from somebody like the Chambers of Commerce or may some law-inforcemnt group.

  43. Blender

    If James Earl Jones hasn’t told CNN to go fuck themselves and stop using his voice on their stupid little intro, maybe he should. Or at least ask for a fuckload more money, because CNN is shit.

    Hell, does CNN even use his voice now?

  44. SayItWithWookies

    [re=548025]Mr Blifil[/re]: Oh, speaking of which — the California Attorney General (Jerry Brown!) did a thorough review of the James O’Keefe ACORN tapes (the ones that took place in CA) and found that not only did no crime take place — O’Keefe never represented himself as a pimp to the ACORN people, but usually said he was whatsername’s boyfriend or friend and was trying to get her away from an abusive pimp, and asked them for suggestions on getting these Guatemalan kids out of the guy’s clutches as well.

    None of them suggested anything illegal, some didn’t buy it, and one even called the cops after they left. So aside from all that (and the link to the entire tapes is at the end), the Breitbart story was a brilliant piece of investigative journalism that exposed endemic corruption in the vast left-wing electoral machine.

  45. Escape Goat Nation

    Listun up guvuhmunt man!
    Wanna know the names of the peoples under my roof!?!!!
    Mr. Skoal, Mr. Jack Daniels and Mr. Smith and Wesson!
    And sometimes my nayber Alicia from the lot acrossed from me!

  46. obfuscator

    [re=548045]SayItWithWookies[/re]: after seeing how o’keefe doctored the “expose” footage, roger ailes started masturbating furiously. i imagine o’keefe will have a producer job at fox news by the end of the year.

  47. Potater

    $10 says Erick is enough of a narcissistic douchefuck that he married a girl named Ericka.

  48. Radiotherapy

    This fucknut is more fucking retarded than his name!!!1!

    Seriously, he gave me a migraine after thirty seconds. “let’s distinguish, separate, and talk about…The American Community Survey”. Aura, light flashes, photophobia, nausea, vomiting, ice pick in my skull, where’s my Dilaudid? He’s worse than Joe the Plummer ON the Pat Sajak Show.

    Listen all you fucking retarded, racist, shit fer brains, wanna start a civil war over healthcare fucking fucks!!1!1! DON’T FILL OUT YOUR CENSUS FORMS. They are commie plots. The census form is part of the Pelosi/Reid radical agenda. When the gooks and spics and negroes take over the country, they will gerrymander to make Armey, DeLay and his wife is googley-eyed-what’s-his-name blush like a sunburned lobster anyway. GIVE UP!

    [re=547993]Neilist[/re]: Obvs, this pussy POS couldn’t handle a Red Rider BB gun.

  49. S.Luggo

    [re=548064]Radiotherapy[/re]: You are attempting to enter into a battle of wits with someone who is completely unarmed.
    For shame.

  50. gurukalehuru

    [re=548075]Katydid[/re]: Is that what we are doing here, acting as unpaid writers for Jon Stewart?
    Cool.

  51. heathenish

    [re=548075]Katydid[/re]: I didn’t hear Stewart THIS time but there’s been other times…trucknuts for example. Doesn’t Wonkette have the trademark on them?

  52. Katydid

    [re=548077]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: Seems you were. Had I had a hat, I would tip it to you.

    [re=548078]gurukalehuru[/re]: Socialism!

    [re=548079]heathenish[/re]: I *said* once again, HENGHHH? When did Stewart use trucknutz? Did he really?

    [re=548081]heathenish[/re]: FWIW, and it ain’t worth much, my Ameros are on SHORTS.

  53. Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=548081]heathenish[/re]: His Stewart’s avatar would be.. something Jersey but cool back in the day.. I got it– City Gardens or Princeton Record Exchange!

  54. gurukalehuru

    You don’t need fancy teleprompters or even writing on your hand when you’ve got a girl behind you saying (pssst…scammers…don’t forget to say scammers).

    Anyway, how is what the ACS does different than what Gallup does, except that the results might determine where sewer lines get dug or roads built?

  55. gurukalehuru

    OT, but Dame Peggington Nooninghamshireworthington thinks that our favorite Nazi, Papa Razi, is doing a bang-up job of confronting this priests-fucking-little-boys scandals, and the press is doing a great job as well despite having basically ignored the issue for as long as they possibly could, and there are some priests and nuns who do not molest children, we need to give them a round of applause, and all of those “heroic” Catholics who continue to go to church every Sunday, they’re great, too, and John Paul II gets a pass because he was so focused on fighting the darned communists that he just couldn’t possibly even imagine a priest fucking a little boy, and the Catholic Church will go on forever, Amen. Also.

  56. Boojum

    [re=547993]Neilist[/re]: He has to grab his wife’s shotgun. That’s just funny. When he has to pee, I bet he grabs his “wife’s” penis, too.

  57. Sparky McGruff

    [re=548064]Radiotherapy[/re]: You’re on the right track, but you don’t know the full story.

    DON’T FILL OUT YOUR CENSUS FORMS. They are commie plots. The census form is part of the Pelosi/Reid radical agenda. When the gooks and spics and negroes take over the country, they will use the census to TAKE AWAY YOUR GUNS and PUT THE WHITE CHRISTIANS INTO INTERNMENT CAMPS. Filling out the census forms is the fast path to the gas chambers, fellow soldiers!

    Tell all your friends, IF YOU WANT THE BLACK MUSLIN AGENDA TO SUCCEED, DON’T RESPOND TO THE NANCY PELOSI CENSUS!

  58. x111e7thst

    [re=548064]Radiotherapy[/re]: Damn, you get Dilaudid? All I can get my doc to prescribe is Fiorinal w/codein. How do you manage that?

  59. sezme

    Not a good time to be a census taker. The market is looking up, however, for Chianti producers and fava bean growers.

  60. Katydid

    [re=548064]Radiotherapy[/re]: [re=548090]x111e7thst[/re]: WTF in the fucking fuckety fuck? All *I* get is 4 lousy Relpax and Fioricet without codeine.

    I had Dilaudid once, after surgery. Mmmmm. Didn’t feel a thing. Not the surgery, not my ex-husband, not the divorce, hell, I couldn’t even remember the lousy marriage. Best. Stuff. Ever.

    I want the name of Radio’s doctor, and I want it now. Ooooo, my head hurts!

  61. Aquannissiwamissoo

    If you hold the form under a black light it says, “Application to FEMA Camp.”

    And they only stop at the houses of the whites !!!

    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha …

  62. Katydid

    [re=548086]gurukalehuru[/re]: Everybody’s Favorite Catholic Defender Pat Buchanan was on Scarborough’s show the other day warning people that if the witch hunt against the rapey priests continues, old Catholic women would stop giving money to the Church every Sunday, because they don’t want it to go to the lawyers or the rape victims of the rapey priests. So people had better stop picking on the Church. He said this with a straight face. That the Church couldn’t afford the lawsuits. After Morning Joe had shown many clips of Vatican Luxury.

  63. Gumboz1953

    [re=547951]comicbookguy[/re]: and naked with a Dubya mask smiling over your wee-wee.

  64. Katydid

    [re=548086]gurukalehuru[/re]: Thanks, guru, and I was feeling so happy this morning, too. It’s my own fault, though, for wading through the comments because I mistakenly thought that at this, on least, even the WSJ commenters would be somewhat sane. Only 5 comments in and boom, insanity.

    Somebody could make a fortune by developing an implantable chip programmed to deliver a nasty shock every time the chippee tries to read the comments on rightwing Web sites. Manchu? Get to it! My ideas fee is only 10%, PAYGO of course.

  65. x111e7thst

    [re=548025]Mr Blifil[/re]: You say tranny hooker like that’s a bad thing. There are few things more pleasant than a mild spring eve spent doing lines of meth off a tranny hooker’s ass. Srsly

  66. stolichnayaaa

    To borrow from the masters, this guy is gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide.

  67. Monsieur Grumpe

    Where is Eric’s neck? His future as a human butt plug depends on having some sort of a neck.

  68. smitallica

    Yes, Erick. Be sure not to give any personal information to the federal government that issued and still holds your social security number, and can therefore find out anything they want at any time.

    Asshole.

  69. Gramps

    [re=548109]smitallica[/re]: I would rather have my ignorance than another man’s knowledge, because I have so much more of it.~~ M. Twain-1875.

  70. WadISay

    The irony of this is that, under the Bush/Cheney domestic surveillance programs, the government probably not only knew how many times ibn Erick flushed his toilet, but how well he chewed his cheeseburger, and whether he was a spitter or a swallower.

  71. smellyal8r

    [re=548086]gurukalehuru[/re]: AND, the Archbishop of Canterbury went all nuts on Razi in a BBC interview taped for release on Monday, but, oh…uh, released in part today. Haw haw. That’s what you get Razi for offering to covert all the Anglicans back to Catholicism because of teh geyz but not cleaning up the Catholic Church in Ireland. Arch of C said the Catholic Church “has lost all credibility” over the issue…

  72. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Maybe by saying “he would take his wife’s shotgun (!) and ‘and see how that little ACS twerp likes being scared at the door,’” he was just admitting that he was married to a tranny, and that he sight of the two of them making out when they answered the door would freak out the poor government worker? Seems as likely as anything he could possibly mean.

    Or maybe he just means he is grabbing his wife’s shotgun so he can frame her for the murder? Then he would be free to marry his tranny lover? I’m pretty sure a tranny was involved in his thought process at some point.

  73. carlgt1

    seriously — this country has basically devolved to the point where we’ve put yesterday’s hillbillies, who were out shootin “revenooers” a-huntin’ for their stills, in the highest positions of power.

  74. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    [re=547939]SayItWithWookies[/re]: And his use of “skull-fuck the corpses,” was only metaphorical as he was going to skull-fuck them whether they were alive or dead.

  75. 102415

    Personally, I don’t believe he has a shotgun on his porch. I think he should mail us a picture of the shotgun and the wife and the porch.

  76. Starrigavan

    So let me understand…

    Now Erick thinks he has the right to threaten people with guns? Typical wingnut insanity. The census worker is fulfilling a constitutional mandate. Taking arms against the government is treason. How do I know? The constitution says so. And guess what, Erick son of Erick, the “I wasn’t really going to use the weapon” defense has never stood up in court.

    If just saying you’ve got a gun during a bank robbery is the equivalent of armed robbery, then actually brandishing your wife’s shotgun in order to scare off some poor guy who has lost his job because your “trickle down” economics has failed miserably and the only job he could find was a part-time census gig is actually assault with a deadly weapon.

    Of course it’s a republican sort of assault. If Erick told the census guy that he’d had to borrow his wife’s shotgun, probably without her permission, I’m sure the whole “scare the twerp” strategy would have failed. Erickson isn’t the most physically intimidating guy. Kind of looks like the type of chinless twerp who’d have to ask to borrow his wife’s shotgun to threaten some poor woman at the front door armed with a clipboard.

    And didn’t some poor nutjob on YouTube get arrested for threatening Eric, the asshole, Cantor? So why does this fat idiot get a free pass to threaten government workers?

  77. Wingnutia

    Yet another example of empty wingnut boasting along the lines of Hannity’s “100% of the proceeds of my freedom concerts benefit the families of fallen soldiers”. These people are congenital liars and they LOVE to pretend they’re “tough”. Look at this tubby fuck, LOOK AT HIM! does he strike anyone of the “toughguy” who’s beaten up anyone in his life? He strikes me as the fat kid everyone picked on back in school with cruel antics like pulling his shirt up so everyone can see his fissures of lard and mock them. Pretty much every wingnut and I know I’m generalizing but nonetheless they were pussies then and they’re pussies now; if the day ever comes when some Demo takes a swing at Erick son of Erick we’ll see him cower behind his wife’s skirt too afraid to come out.

    On another note, his wife DOES have a shotgun or as the rest of us call it…a dildo. It’s black and she likes to draw her shotgun right after Obama speaks, Erick’s son is so retarded he thinks she does this because she’s pissed. Then she disappears for a while and he hears cussing from his bedroom and says “give it to that negro baby!”. It’s really sad any woman would marry him, I wonder what incriminating evidence he has on her. Does anyone beside me think they likely sleep in seperate beds? I don’t have much else to add aside from he’s a fat, stupid teabagging bitch and is yet another reason why I don’t watch CNN.

  78. Wingnutia

    Jesus I can’t listen to this pail of gristle any longer. Every moment was agony like listening to an extremely long-winded and completely uninteresting dumbass in an evangelical church (usually the pastor) while being unable to make it stop. Well, actually I did make it stop by pressing the stop button but I digress. This guy is the latest rising wingnut star? he’s shaped like the pillsbury doughboy and kind of sounds like him but instead of offering flaky croissant goodness he only offers lame ACS conspiracies.

    Yes Erick the ACS exists just so the government can capture and place you into the appropriate re-education camp which only exist to stop “real patriots” and “merikan values” and turn you into O-bots. Anyway, the more I study authoritarianism the more I realize waste material like this and stupidity on a stick Palin are authoritarian leaders who bestow upon their witless followers a false reality which of course they must depend on these leaders to maintain for them or else their world caves in from facts. This also explains Rusty Limpernut and Glenn complete psycho Beck’s appeal and audience size.

  79. ElRat

    Oh dammit to hell!!! Please come to my door Pubbies & yeah I have registered guns to kill your asses.

    PLEASE!!! Pretty pretty PLEASE, shit oh fuck, PLEASE with a cherry on the top.

  80. user-of-owls

    I’m confused by the anti-census squeals from Hijo de Puta Erick. Just yesterday, the Fat Man with the Cigar (no, not Winston Churchill) laid bare his version of the census conspiracy, to wit, he hadn’t received his form yet. Which meant, ipso facto, that all Republicans had not received their forms either. Which of course, revealed the sinister intent of the census bureau to NOT collect data from conservatives. Which made the Fat Man upset.

    Actually, now I understand completely. If you get the form, IT’S A CONSPIRACY! If you don’t get the form, IT’S A CONSPIRACY!

    Genius. Pure genius.

  81. Single Player

    Eric is a city councilman in a small town and a church deacon. Those are his special qualifications as Everyman. I think he just printed his name on a sign-up sheet, to get those positions.

    His religous beliefs do not include peace and charity, to say the least.

  82. Single Player

    Hey, if the conservatives don’t take part in the census, then they won’t have full representation. Then taxing them will be repression! And they can be freedom-fighters in their minds!

  83. Gramps

    [re=548128]user-of-owls[/re]: Yeh gotta have mercy on and provide a boon too… “The Round Mound of Drug Addicted Sound”.

    He’s into the good clean medical stuff and it costs you more to find the right confidential, reliable source and a good reliable mule, than the actual bag…
    If yeh know what I mean?

    Cheers…

  84. DemmeFatale

    [re=548107]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Yes, but fortunately, he doesn’t need a neck to stick his head up his own ass.

    You go Wonkette!
    Hell hath no fury…

  85. americandad

    His plan of frightening the Census workers away by brandishing a shotgun would — in his home state of Georgia — make him guilty of aggravated assault (“Causing fear in others by threats or endangerment”) and, perhaps, the misdemeanor of pointing a gun, loaded or unloaded, at person. There’s a whole mess o’ federal laws he’d be violating: As I understand it, the Census worker is authorized by law to be on Erickson’s property, even authorized to bypass “no trespassing” signs as many times as necessary; it’s against federal law to threaten the Census worker — you’re not even allowed to imply possible harm to the employee; and you are NOT allowed to point a gun at the Census worker. And isn’t what he’s suggested a violation of the Patriot Act? Penalities for that puppy are not pleasant.

    And, as an aside, why are conservatives against privacy when it comes to reproduction, sex and private communication, and for it only when it comes to toilet flushing?

  86. sandeen

    [re=547972]sati demise[/re]:

    Indeed, and the question has been asked since 1940. The communists put it there most likely.

  87. Jukesgrrl

    [re=548128]user-of-owls[/re]: Not having a series of alternative mansions, I’m not aware how it works but perhaps some of these conservatives’ census forms are waiting for them at one of their other addresses.

    It’s probably hard for Uncle Sam to determine which home would be considered the primary residence when you are voting at your Realtor’s polling place (Coulter), your tax-write-off horses live at one place and you live at another (Dobbs), you’re getting your Viagra scripts sent c/o your rent boy in Costa Rica (Limbaugh), etc. Compared to these opinionators, the problems of our public servants (do I live with my wife, my mistress, or my C Street counselor?) pale in comparison.

  88. XOhioan

    Erik, is this the question that set you off you?

    I fap while: (check one, only)

    x looking at pictures of Ronnie
    x watching “Walker, Texas Ranger”
    x imagining Shepard Smith doing my makeup
    x experiencing anything Palin

  89. mollymcguire

    [re=547922]CanadianBacon[/re]: [re=547925]Potater[/re]: Actually, he is more concerned about his “wide stance.”

  90. Prairie Flower

    [re=548128]user-of-owls[/re]: Maybe Limbaugh didn’t receive a census form because the census folks just took him at his word, thought he had moved to Costa Rica because the health care reform bill passed.

  91. Gramps

    [re=548135]Jukesgrrl[/re]: You posit some very challenging scenarios…my though would be; it’s up the addressee to have his or her mail forwarded to an appropriate central depository…for perusal…and disposal?

    You say…

  92. Jukesgrrl

    [re=548151]Gramps[/re]: I say … if your C Street counselor or Scientology auditor doesn’t know how many times a day you flush your toilet, he’s not doing his job. I’ll bet Roger Ailes knows how many toilets Hannity has, how often they’re used, and by whom.

  93. LowerdPeninsula

    Are we sure that Double E has actually ever handled a gun? Even if he has, he strikes me as the kind of dude that instantly fold under pressure, a total poseur. I bet if the guy ever had to use a gun, he’d be sweating like a hooker at Easter Mass.

  94. Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=548087]Boojum[/re]: No, the wife doesn’t like havin’ her peen grabbed. House rules.

  95. heathenish

    [re=548135]Jukesgrrl[/re]: I like your logic. Must be tough when you have houseS(plural), as compared to my own one(1)cardboard box.

  96. Flanders

    [re=548099]x111e7thst[/re]: Yeah, that was really fun, wasn’t it? Good times, good times.

    /sighs wistfully

  97. snideinplainsight

    You know, FUC*. I’m awesomely tired of bullshi* conservatard pundits talking about the violence they’re going to do to the normal everyday Americans they perceive, in their own wacked-out minds, to be marxist radicals. In this case, he’s not even enough of a doucheba* to actually threaten, just wimpering puss* enough to suggest it. “I’m-a gonna wave a shotgun at yer face, if’n you step on mah property, son.” Well thank you, Yosemity fuckin* Sam.

    Just step up an pull the trigger big guy, please. I honestly don’t believe you have the ball* to do it. I honestly don’t believe you actually own such a gun, and I honestly don’t believe you’re brave enough to even fuckin* open the door to an adult stranger standing on your own porch. Basically, I call bullshi*.

  98. ladymacbeth

    well erick, at least CHERYL CROWE is not puddly fat.

    god, i seriously hate the puddly fat white guys.

    ick.

  99. snideinplainsight

    I think it’s the most cynical thing in the world. He makes these threats, on the radio, and his ratings go up. Six months later, likely, some idiot listener somewhere blows away an actual census worker (this is a worst-case scenario and I am in no way endorsing this.) Then his ratings go up. Then someone else in the media asks him how he sleeps at night and he says “Oh, what I do is actually enterTAINment – I’ve never suggested that anything I say should actually effect people’s behavior in any way whatsoever.” Then his ratings go up. Then he’s on to the next BS thing, whatever he can think of next.

    Hey Erick, say hi to Ratzi for us all when you get where you’re going -

  100. Zorg

    [re=548395]snideinplainsight[/re]: Why just be irritated? These little crypto-Fascist twerps are funded by very wealthy people, just a few of them. Shouldn’t we borrow a page from the Chinese democracy movement and create a “human flesh search engine” to out the people that are funding these loons? Hitler, at the beginning of his career as a public speaker, was funded by a single industrialist, Hugo Stinnes, a sort of German version of Rupert Murdoch. Who gave $7 million to Dick Armey?

  101. Captain Swing

    Being from the Land Down Under, I have never had the er… pleasure of listening to this windbag’s show. However, I wouldn’t mind betting that he spent the rest of it whining about how the Gummit doesn’t care about what We The People want, and how it never makes any attempt to find out. If only they would, like, ask us some questions…

  102. Fake Thomas Jefferson

    This may surprise you, but we put the Second Amendment in the Constitution specifically so that people like Mr. Erickson would have the right to shoot census takers on sight.

    Back in my day, “well-organized militia” was code for “guys who hate to take surveys.” It was a big thing for us that Britain kept making us tell them how many slaves we owned. Like anyone even keeps records on that sort of thing!

    I know it seems like a little thing to start a war over, but you had to be there.

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