Okay, fine. That Jabba the Hutaree militia guy made some weird home movie and it was on YouTube and now it’s not but TPM has some video excerpts so go look at it and be titillated if that’s your thing: “Kris Sickles appears entirely naked but for a mask of President George W. Bush that obscures some, but not all, of his genitalia. In the film, Sickles’s chubby, tattooed character finds himself attacked by an enormous creature which appears to be half man, half duck.”
The paper George W. Bush mask is taped to this fat militia guy’s dick we guess, and his nutsack is hanging underneath the George W. Bush mask. Who even knows, man. And the duckman is wearing a diaper, and there’s some sort of fake blood and fart noises, and the fat guy yells “dildo,” so wacky.
And if YouTube had existed in 1995, there’d be video of Timothy McVeigh lip-syncing that idiot fucking Bob Seger song just like what’s his name, the gay scientologist, the end. [Talking Points Memo]
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Needs more Lea Thompson.
Lord, I wish I wasn’t so weak willed. I clicked through there and that is two minutes of my life I will never, ever get back. Thanks Ken.
Carpe Diem, Motherf**kers.
Better than Avatar, at least.
It’s all so perfectly clear now. I didn’t understand these guys at first.
“Scar my tattered body no more with your punishing dildo mallet,”
Got to be a code for something.
Or “Dildo Mallet Pallin” the name of Sarah’s next child.
Tits or GTFO.
[re=547549]magic titty[/re]:
Truly, truly outrageous.
Kids, I’m telling you, nothing every good came from a meth addiction.
[re=547554]Jumping Jim[/re]: Actually, sounds like something William Burroughs would have written.
The farts were not actually scripted, they just fit so well the director decided to leave them in.
They should show this on film night at whatever institution Kris Sickles is going to be spending the next 10 years at. It will make him very popular, I’m sure.
when did wonkette become too cool to laugh at these guys’ thinly veiled homosexuality? When? Are we too cool now for disparaging poorly timed fart jokes?
Are there no trucknutz jokes to be made here?
sheesh. when did we stop laughing at the retarded?
what about the CHILDREN?
That is the best GWAR video I have ever seen!!!
Some one made a YouTube Video? … this is Important!
That is sooooo film school.
After what /b/ did to the Hutaroo site this week, I’m not clicking on anything, anywhere, ever again.
Until the next time.
Dubya looks so at home there — he really missed his true calling.
I’d rather continue to contemplate LBJ’s nuts, thank you. For freedom.
Worst AFLAC commercial EVER.
[re=547554]Jumping Jim[/re]: No gettin’ around it…that’s just a brilliant piece of writing. Can’t watch chubby nekkid guy while at work, does the rest of the dialog live up to that?
that’s the legendary manduck of pathetica. zombieland fer real, dude, not all it’s quacked up to be.
[re=547564]diddles[/re]: It makes Phallus in Wonderland‘s sub-Troma production values look like Kubrick, for sure.
That ?! was on YouTube? It must have slipped through the usual checks, because YouTube usually does not allow purile crap (whoops, there was skoalrebel…).
You ever see something that you wish you could unsee?
Oh come on, Ken, April 1 was yesterday.
I wondered what David Lynch was up to these days.
You watched it. You cannot unwatch it.
Dear God, they are Real Americans just like you and me and Sarah Palin!
We should all be grateful he wasn’t a Star Wars Freak…
I don’t know that if I were wounded, lying on the ground, I’d want that hippo-assed, naked neo-Fascist dude squatting over me with a George Bush mask on his dick with his testicles dangling in the breeze saying “Speak to me!”
And I’m gay, so most of that would normally be totally ok.
First, there were TRUCKNUTZ! But, that was not retarded enough.
And lo, the super retards did pool their secret retard powers of REAL ‘MERICAN PATRIOTIZMS and DOOMSDAY CHRISTIANISHITY, and behold there were – BUSHNUTZ! And, lo it was a bounty of stupid.
QUACK QUACK
Two thumbs up.
“Oh shit! The Feds found the videos I posted on youtube!”
Is the punishing dildo mallet the new Ban Hammer?
Was the manual written by SKS?
I’m tired of the slander. Most naked tea party militia members who duck-tape Dubya to their junk are normal, decent, hardworking Americans. I don’t want to hear “Where are the minorities in this video” either.
This why we have the 2nd Amendment, tasers and pepper spray. And mallets.
I will give them some points for employing Motorhead into the soundtrack.
Someone found Walt Disney’s secret movie stash!
[re=547573]SayItWithWookies[/re]: [re=547575]bitchincamaro[/re]: Is there still room for his bunghole? I can’t bear to look.
YouTube or XTube?
Tags: Chubby; Bear; Balls; Antichrist Cult
I got the day off and I’m not even close to being Catholic Best part of not working is I can watch crap like this.
3 thumbs up. Donald Duck had better watch his ass.
Is this nightclub the location for the next RNC fundraiser?
Young Eagles, meet the Pervy Ducks.
[re=547549]magic titty[/re]: Every movie can be improved by a young, nubile Leah Thompson.
This has Wonkette performance art written all over it and there are only 42 comments? WTF. You guys like deer laying on couches by the side of the road better?
Definately the “Zabriskie Point” of amatetur, meth-headed, retarded christian militia videos.
This is in code.
Think like Glenn Beck.
The code reveals itself.
duck + nutsack + bush = duckbutter (The combination of sweat from the penis/scrotum area, and the anus.) + vague hillbilly homoporn = “1. The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex. = Rick Santorum
This is Rick’s attempt at viral fundraising for a 2012 presidential run. The bush picture is there so you’ll know they lick buggering girls, not boys, you freak.
I apologize for using the word viral in this context. Must wash hands now…
Today we are all punishing dildo mallets.
[re=547652]happyrock[/re]: That video is retroviral.
“Kris Sickles appears entirely naked but for a mask of President George W. Bush that obscures some, but not all, of his genitalia.”
Wow. Who knew Michigan was such a hotbed of…um…the cinematic avant garde. Still, I’d think such a sight directly contradicts (!) the state’s motto: Si Quaeris Peninsulam Amoenam Circumspice – “If you seek a pleasant peninsula, look about you”…
God’s honest truth? I expected a lot more back fat.
[re=547674]comicbookguy[/re]: so we’re just interferon in their fun?
Shouldn’t it be dildo mullet, or dildo mallard rather than mallet?
[re=547603]TimeCubist[/re]: QUACK QUACK FUCKING QUACK
[re=547628]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Or Daisy. Also.
[re=547549]magic titty[/re]: 10+ points. AMEN!
If you bake a dildo, does it turn into dill bread?
Perhaps Wagner would be more appropriate background music:
“…with my Punishing Diwdo Mawwet!”
“Punishing Dildo Mallet?”
“Punishing Diwdo Mawwet!!”
“(sheesh) ‘Punishing Dildo Mallet…”
“Yes!! Punishing Diwdo MAWWWETTT!!!!”
I don’t know why the Naked Power Ranger didn’t catch on.
[re=547603]TimeCubist[/re]: I’d hit it… with a mallet…
[re=547564]diddles[/re]: Once Tubby gets convicted, hopefully he’ll use another Motorhead tune in his next video…
I wonder if he got the duck’s-head and the jelly-dildo at the same shop?
[re=547554]Jumping Jim[/re]: Dildo Mallet Palin is an awesome name. Also.
OMG! The radical fringe militia is no longer Neo-Nazi, it is now Dadaist!
Luv me sum gay republican gory slasher flicks. Gunna go teabag myself.
Right! I just showed this masterpiece to my Senior-Bear… his reaction was: 1) You Yanks are all bonkers, and 2) This may not’ve been the first time Tubby got ‘imself smacked in the gob with another bloke’s willy…
That was really gay, and I don’t mean lame.
Why aren’t these guys mercenaries in Afghanistan or someplace?
Do these guys use lots of drugs? Which ones?
[re=548152]zhubajie[/re]: Meth, corn syrup and lead paint-chips…
[re=548185]Bearbloke[/re]: Don’t you forget Hillybilly Heroine A.K.A. OxyContin. They love that shit. It’s like crack to them. Seriously though, most Michiganders know that Southern Michigan, especially the counties surrounding the urban counties of Metro Detroit are basically Kentucky-North of Michitucky, but goddamned, man. Most of the folks that live in those counties came up from the South, and it shows.
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