In a major catastrophe expected to drop the city’s IQ by more than 51%, Republican wingnut stars Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann will appear together at some dumb rally next Wednesday at the Minneapolis Convention Center (Hall D, for “Dummies”). And thanks to Wonkette operative “J.M.,” we’ve got scans of the rally tickets for you to, uh, look at. Or maybe try to use ‘em for real, by printing them out (5.5″ x 2″) on the same kind of cheap two-sided glossy laser-printer photo paper used by the real GOP of Minnesota! Then you can scalp them, right outside the convention center! Ten bucks a ticket! Insist on Gold Coins. [Craigslist]- The Family Research Council has instructed its far-right members to quit giving money to the RNC, because Republicans just spend all the donations at lesbian-bondage strip clubs in West Hollywood, which doesn’t respect Our Family Values. [Talking Points Memo]
- Important webzine the New York Times reports on a hot new journamalism career trend: gossip bloggers! They are like traditional reporters, but with jobs. SLOW NEWS DAY HUH? [NYT]
- What’s with those misspelled words the Tea Party people love so much? [Gawker]
{ 49 comments }
I want to be a gossip blogger for money. Sign me up.
Time to run…a Critical Mass of craziness will be achieved; I have waste my time being afraid of the CERN Super-Collider.
The obsession with human garbage like Paris Hilton was probably the worst thing about the last decade, even considering 9-11, the crash of the economy, and the Bush administration. Now that we are in a new decade, we will pay no attention to ‘gossip bloggers’, right?
[re=546469]slavojzizek[/re]: Right — you know it is true because it is the opposite of the trend reported in the New York Times. If only Bill Kristol writes about it, you will have your second data point.
What’s the difference between ‘bloggers’ and ‘gossip bloggers’? It’s not like the NYT does any fact checking on their other stories. So it’s all kind of like gossip.
But still no Michael Anthony
Since this paper had to mention sarah palin I have to bring it back and say, when it comes to sarah check this story out
http://bit.ly/du6Uhc
Tell me, Ken. Does you has a sad that you were not featured in this article?
Or do you take it as a compliment, and further confirmation that THIS IS A WAR BLOG!!!?
Oh God, please tell me those two babes will be mud wrestling, officiated by Jesse Ventura. Please let it be that they pit the snowbillie princess against the shelly whack-job from up nort der in de Minniesota–in a CAGE MATCH! I’m printing my tickets out now. I am trembling.
Instead of scalping tickets for the Palin/Bachmann tardfest, I’m going to corner the market on the protective bike helmet concession.
Gee, with Bachmann and Palin at the same rally, they should get Michael “Hit Me Harder, Lesbians, Please” Steele to referee as they reenact “Johnny Guitar”. I think Palin would work well in the Mercedes McCambridge role and Bachmann is definitely Joan Crawford.
Catfight!
I have 4 tickets for the Bachmann/Palin Fapapoolooza event. Unless someone pays me I’m not going. Any suggestions (that don’t involve body cavities) on what to do with them?
I’m adapting that Gawker Dictionary into a drinking game on Facebook. Using it, I should be be drunk all day long for the rest of my life.
That’s “does’nt rispect Are Family Value’s” You’ll never pull it off if you don’t speak the language.
RE: Palin/Bachmann Rally
Surely with all that stupid in one place the earth will wobble on its axis just like an out of balanced washing machine.
Michael K of Dlisted is the best gossip blogger. Dlisted is to Hollywood what Wonkette is to politics. I sometimes think MK read teh Wonkette because there has been cross posts over there.
Geez, it’s a critical mass of stupidity.
[re=546479]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: It is your patriotic duty to give your tickets to the needy. I suggest you find fat, white, elderly, dickwad teabaggers on Medicare who cannot afford to spend any of their social security, unemployment or farm subsidy income on this inspiring once-in-a-lifetime event. Stand on a corner in Stillwater, MN with a sign. The tickets will disappear in an instant.
[re=546479]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:Give the tickets away to the first carload of dimwits you snag with your “official parking here” scam. And don’t forget to call the tow truck once the lot is full.
[re=546479]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: I agree that you should give the tickets to the needy. I’m sure if you look around, you can find them living under bridges or on street corners holding signs that say “Will Work For Food.” And to make sure they have a good time, I’d also buy them copious amounts of alcohol. Least you could do to help out some fellow Americans down on their luck.
Goofed up words are the building blocks of goofed up sentences.
[re=546486]tencentcomic[/re]: Take your tickets down to the union hall with a couple of six packs and a bottle of Jack. Get some big teamsters all juiced up and set them loose on the shouty hillbillies.
and don’t forget to get pictures.
It’s a stupidpaloosa!
Seriously, has anyone scientificly checked into whether putting that much stupid in one place at the same time could punch a whole into some stupidity portal or blow the planet up (like that super-collider??)
I fear some kind of “stupidity event horizon” – and what of the effect on the area’s children??? Higher rates of ADD, retardation, etc???
Now, the RNC never spent donations at a strip club; according to the club’s owner, the lesbian bondage shows are art, not meant for titillation. Just like most porn movies are films designed to explore the nuances of human sexuality, not fapping material.
[re=546492]FMA[/re]: [re=546498]blkblt[/re]: While alcohol would be nice, to really help them enjoy the experience you should also supply the needy with LCD and speed. And film the whole thing.
Hey, rule 34 on Palin/Bachman?
You know you want to see it
[re=546477]Cape Clod[/re]: Bike helmets? Are they perhaps made of tinfoil?
“Draws the reader into a haunting world of war, betrayal, courage, obsession, and love.”
Tell the RNC that Sarah and Michele are doing a lesbo-bondage thing, and that’ll take care of lagging ticket sales.
[re=546484]tootsieroll[/re]: Word. And Michael K always has the best hot sluts of the day. also.
“If you would like to join our team, ….”
What the fresh hell? Sarah and Michele have a team? They’re like Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton minus the trust funds, youth and spray on tans. I don’t think you can call such an unholy alliance a team.
I only accept Michigan Militia Money or survival seeds as barter.
Gossip blogs?
F, M, F, F, K, K, K, K
[re=546530]BOOBIES![/re]: Sounds a little ghey to me.
[re=546479]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Put them on Craigslist in trade for the sex act of your choice.
Am I the only one that gets an “Obama-ey” vibe from the style of these tickets?
What gives, baggers?
[re=546492]FMA[/re]: I would suggest that anyone who follows your suggestion might want to first ask if any of those people under the bridge are veterans. There is a good chance that you will find one in that bunch of homeless people. BTW they all deserve help in some other form than alcohol.
What happens if their delusions start to clash? This is like if the psych ward has a field trip and the woman who thinks she’s Jesus ends up seated next to the woman who thinks aliens planted a chip in her brain.
This ticket entitles the holder to one free line of coke off of Sarah Palin’s ass.
[re=546663]artpepper[/re]: Or the one who thinks she’s Jesus sitting next to the one who thinks JESUS planted the chip in her brain.
Pay per view!
Who is opening for them? Alice Cooper? He’s Republican.
Needz moar facepalm!
[re=546501]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: and don’t forget increased “litaracy in the Anglish languige!”
Both of ‘em at the same time? This will be the Super Collider of Stupid. Black hole formation in 3-2-1…
[re=546468]ez[/re]: Damn! Super collider joke already attempted.
[re=546501]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Multiple super collider jokes.
Who is bringing the Steele Cage. This will be quite a match of Super Collider Craziness and I know the Chairman will be there if he can charter a private jet, get box seats and maybe a few leather-clad Lesbian waitresses. Hoo Yah.
Where’s Jesse Ventura when you need him?
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