About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

78 comments

  1. SmutBoffin

    “I did’nt serve 22 years for Socialism”

    No, you served it for possession of child pornography and child molestation.

  2. ManchuCandidate

    I love the “Did’NT Serve” sign.

    Seems the three Rs for Teabaggers is Retardism, Racism, and Recidivism not that librul reading, riting and rithmatics.

    Simpleton white dumbfuck retards, all.

  3. ManchuCandidate

    [re=545889]SmutBoffin[/re]:
    Assuming it was in one of four branches of US Americuh militaries then h’es covered under the VA, the most socialistic of all US Gubbiment health systems. What a fucking retard.

  4. Shaggypixel

    Scholiast: A Teabonics scholar – OR – a disease wherein all the fat insulating duh neuronz is displaced to duh asschub?

    YOU DECIDE!

  5. Extemporanus

    As a writer, I like to “Sajak-off” to Teabonic porn before every “bonus round”.

  6. Ruhe

    “If you can read this sign your smarter than Nancy Pelosi” I’d love to know how that edit process went down.
    “Earl, dammit, theys no apostopee r e in that word. Why you got to make it so danged faggy frenchy complicated. Keep it simple is the key to good writin’.”

  7. Allyson

    And if any of us pointed out–in a nice way–the spelling errors on these signs to the people who made them, we would just be accused of being latte-sipping, NPR-listening, book-reading elitist snobs.

  8. Doglessliberal

    And it isn’t like he had to leave the t off because he didn’t have room. He could have added a few extra t’s in there.

  9. freakishlystrong

    You know what’s really a borror? They probably all get in a circle and proof read each others signs. And ok them. Gewd wun Cleytis!

  10. JMP

    “Respect are country speak English” and “English is our language no excetions” have got to be parody, because of the whole irony thing, don’t they?

    The “Feedom doesn’t come free” guy is right, though, but it’s obvious enough there’s no need to state it; it’s inherent in the nature of a fee that it can’t be free.

  11. tootsieroll

    [re=545937]Allyson[/re]: No, we be accused of photoshopping them to make them look like the retards they are.

  12. Prairie Flower

    It makes me wonder, with those language skills, how do these people ever find a web site? I guess foxnews.com is hard to misspell.

  13. JMP

    The trailer lady’s “Don’t give away my daugters’ future” is doubly good, because even if it was spelled correctly the way she scrawled in “future” makes it look like Obama kidnapped her girls or something.

    I can’t tell if “Barock” is a legitimate misspelling or a purposeful one the teabagger somehow thinks is funny (like “Obambi”) despite its incredible stupidity and pointlessness.

  14. Pop Socket

    [re=545937]Allyson[/re]: My teabagger friends will say that these were all done by librul infiltrators deliberately trying to make teabaggers look like uneducated racist hicks. I say it doesn’t take much trying.

  15. gurukalehuru

    Knowing full well that the Dunning-Kruger effect prevents them from realizing how incredibly stupid they really are, I wonder if they realize just how stupid we think they are.

  16. proudgrampa

    Americans are the worst spellers in the English Language. Shit, they don’t even try.

  17. SmutBoffin

    [re=545979]gurukalehuru[/re]: Yes, they do; and it only enrages them more, causing more spelling misteaks. Vicous circle, etc.

  18. southern mark smith

    Judging from that picture, I estimate the Patriotic Resisance to be in the Megaohm range.

  19. Dashboard_Buddha

    What’s even sadder is that some of these folks looked like they used a word processor to make their sign. Excluding words like your and you’re, spell check people!

  20. GOPCrusher

    [re=545979]gurukalehuru[/re]: Sadly enough, to them, it’s not that we think they are stupid. Its that we are afraid to see the truth.

  21. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=545975]Pop Socket[/re]: You know, there’s an old saying, “You get to choose your friends, etc”?

  22. What Fresh Hell is This?

    Dawn give away my dog’s furniture!

    The treat of liberty must be muddied with the bulge of try-outs!

  23. Mad Brahms

    Difference between African-American Vernacular English (“ebonics”) and Teabonics:

    One is an actual dialect governed by consistent rules and carrying unique cultural value for its speakers, and the other really *is* the result of the educational system’s stunning ineptitude. Guess which!

  24. Prommie

    [re=546027]Elephants Gerald[/re]: Daneeka’s response: “Its the best there is,” if memory serves. If I am right, that means I am not doing nearly as much damage to my brain as I try to do, and will have to ramp up my attempts to slowly kill it with alcohol.

  25. charlesdegoal

    [re=545990]SmutBoffin[/re]: I assume you mean “viscous circle” which is a well-known predicament in which bad spellers find themselves whenever they try to correct mistakes only to add new ones.

  26. comicbookguy

    The reason there is no Teabonics-to-English dictionary is nobody can come up with a coherent definition for the word “socialist”

  27. Mad Brahms

    [re=545937]Allyson[/re]: All of that would be well and good for me, actually, if it was just advocacy of feeling over form as a universal rule. But something tells me these people would also be the first to protest that teaching Spanish in schools or allowing “ebonics” in the classroom is a terrible affront to our singular American “culture”, so I absolutely call bullshit on them.

    [re=546044]Prommie[/re]: Exactly.

  28. Aurelio

    Koch Industries, largest privately held energy company in the US, and primary funder of the tea baggers,, makes them paint their own signs, to create the illusion of authenticity. Misspellings help. They make you feel like this is just Ma and Pa Kettle out there ignorantly expressing their ignorance. Well, they may be ignorant, but their fascist bosses are smart.

  29. Elephants Gerald

    [re=546035]Prommie[/re]: You’re correct. As I scream past middle age, I find that ramping up fluid intake does reduce memory, but then I read Catch-22 and Moby Dick every five years because there are some things worth remembering.

  30. What Fresh Hell is This?

    So, what’s the reading level of The National Review since all the Buckleys have gone away?

    Ah, the Republican Party — where Bill Bennett is considered an intellectual.

  31. slowuncle

    It’s not as if this Teatard has insufficient girth to warrant cutting consonants out of the 3-syllable word he is trying to convey

  32. HopeyChangey

    What IS is with these lunatic fringe righties and their inability to differentiate between “your” and “you’re?” I post on a debate forum and I see this all of the freaking time. They do that on purpose just to make me nutz, don’t they? Or are they really that sdewpyd?

    Strunk & White, people! Strunk & White! ’nuff said.

  33. mustardman

    [re=545930]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: I was thinking exactly the same thing. How do these folks fuck! They can’t manage to do anything else right yet somehow they still know how to pop out little idiots.

  34. KilgoreTrout_XL

    [re=546072]Aurelio[/re]: That’s fucking interesting. I’m still gonna laugh at the stupids, but it will be a better-informed and way more condescending laugh now. Thanks.

    The “rediculous”/”ridiculous” mistake burned a little. I used the former for kind of a while until a helpful person pointed out that i was an idiot.

  35. Potater

    [re=546243]mustardman[/re]: It’s amazing what you can do with a turkey baster and a dixie cup.

  36. gradgrind

    [re=545893]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Oh, he(?) has plenny a room back there, but I imagine he’s patriotically and reflexively resissing Noah Webster’s insidious brand of political correctness. Webster’s “Blue Back Speller” — just a code for socialist takeover of the alphabet, amirite?

  37. Downtheroadapiece

    Dear god. Now I know who has been penning all the fluff text for the spam I get. I owe an apology to some eastern Europeans.

  38. Darkness

    He needs to work on his Old Country Buffet and Snack Food Aisle Resisance while he’s at it.

  39. InvestmentB

    Well, the liberals have run the schools for thirty years or more, so what would you expect? Liberals have extolled the do-as=you please culture including its grammatical implications for quite a while. Pretty funny, no?

  40. snoidoid

    My brilliant school psychologist wife reminds me that spelling and intelligence are not linked. I believe that the Teabaggers would agrue with that.

Comments are closed.