TOTALLY CALLED IT  9:04 am March 31, 2010

LL Cool J BETRAYED By Fox News

by Sara K. Smith

Wait, he did a Fox News interview TWO YEARS AGO?Just yesterday Jim Newell, the most prescient investigative journalist since Nostradamus, very sensibly asked, “What in fuck are [Sarah Palin] and LL Cool J going to talk about” on some crappy Fox News show? The answer is, nothing!

Second-most-precient investigative journalist LL Cool J reports that Fox is actually just running an interview from 2008 that he did with some non-Sarah-Palin person. And that is why Twitter is so awesome, because first it made Iran into a democracy and now this.

[LL Cool J's Twitter]

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WELCOME THRILLHO March 31, 2010 at 9:10 am

Shit. I was looking forward to a lively debate.

TGY March 31, 2010 at 9:11 am

Those blackguards at Fox! Wait, is it still OK to use that word?

El Pinche March 31, 2010 at 9:13 am

What’s Heavy D’s take on this? I can’t find his Twats.

Jim89048 March 31, 2010 at 9:14 am

[re=545308]TGY[/re]: If the word you refer to is Fox, then no.

Terry March 31, 2010 at 9:14 am

So, how will this appear on the show? Palin introduces a clip of the old interview? Actually, I’m hoping they try to splice Old Sarah in there as if she were asking the questions. That would sort of epitomize her life and career.

Texan Bulldoggette March 31, 2010 at 9:16 am

Whew, Snowbilly dodged a bullet there. Now she won’t have to interact with a colored person after all.

Lazy Media March 31, 2010 at 9:17 am

I believe I said yesterday she’d just be doing a brief intros to lead into a canned clip show of interviews by actual Fox News reporters. Sarah Palin couldn’t interview Trig.

Cape Clod March 31, 2010 at 9:18 am

I wish he would have waited until after it aired. It would have had a greater impact that way.

Katydid March 31, 2010 at 9:20 am

[re=545314]Lazy Media[/re]: Sarah Palin can’t find Trig. She last saw him outside a Barnes & Noble in Bumfuck, IN, on her “Let’s Talk About Me” booktourapalooza.

St.SarahOfThePO March 31, 2010 at 9:21 am

Misleading the viewers? FOX? I’m stunned.

Monsieur Grumpe March 31, 2010 at 9:28 am

How much nothing can one person do?

Terry March 31, 2010 at 9:30 am

[re=545314]Lazy Media[/re]:

Her limitation as an interviewer is that she’d be forced to talk about someone other than herself.

iburl March 31, 2010 at 9:30 am

She didn’t say ‘L L Cool J’ she said ‘Hells bells! Kool Aid!’ the Fox green room can be very exciting to a cuntry snowbilly. The ‘lamestream’ media is so out of touch with real amurika.

JMP March 31, 2010 at 9:30 am

So the report Jim linked to lied; it actually is an April Fool’s joke, albeit an apparently unintentional one.

ManchuCandidate March 31, 2010 at 9:34 am

Faux probably did a nasty takedown:

SP: Are you saying all black men are hung like horses?
Edited LLCJ: No
SP: Are you hung like a horse?
Edited LLCJ: Me? Naw. Old spice is *cut*
SP: Do you think I’m attractive?
Edited LLCJ: Yes.
SP: Do I turn you on?
Edited LLCJ: Yes.
SP: I’m smart right?
Edited LLCJ: Yeah… that Palin bitch is the dumbest cu *cut*
SP: Thanks for sharing, LL Cool Jim. Next up, Sean Hannity.

Chickensmack March 31, 2010 at 9:38 am

Consider for a moment the development of a career in Hollywood. No matter how bright your light shone… by the time you get your own TV show, you’ve pretty much burned your soul out.


Katydid March 31, 2010 at 9:44 am

This is great. The original Chicago Tribune story about this had these related links (I am not making this up):

# Discovery Communications acquires rights to Sarah Palin’s Alaska series (Chicago Tribune)
# Online Dish: Sarah Palin Lands Reality Show (Chicago Tribune)
# Sarah Palin reality show almost a go (Chicago Tribune)
# Mental health care support is important (Chicago Tribune)

mumblyjoe March 31, 2010 at 9:48 am

I think it’s vitally important that Stephen Colbert have Sean Hannity from 2008 on his show again, this time to respond to these allegations.

the problem child March 31, 2010 at 9:50 am

Tweets from the other “interview” subjects should be popping up anytime.

“Jack Welch: I gave a bunch of interviews to FoxBusiness and and Sarah Palin stole them from my video library and butchered them!

BigDupa March 31, 2010 at 9:51 am

Maybe Sarah could moderate a debate between Griff Jenkins and Professor Griff? I’d DVR that.

blkblt March 31, 2010 at 9:52 am

[re=545323]Terry[/re]: Oh I don’t know…
Sarah: “enough about me, lets talk about what you think of me.”

MissyLissa March 31, 2010 at 10:00 am

The bigger question: If it’s going to be a fake interview anyway WHY PICK LL COOL J????

I need to know, is he cool now or something? Is it related to The Justin Beepers the kids are always talking about?

TubeCity March 31, 2010 at 10:01 am

I presume that Sarah will not be reading from teleprompters when she screeches her lines introducing the segments.

Wait, why do I presume that?

Joshua Norton March 31, 2010 at 10:04 am

I wonder how long her “show” will last. Her Peckerwoodstock speech for McCain came shrieking out of my clock radio the other morning and the cat went from dead sleep to 8 feet off the bed.

Those nasal head tones, dear lord, the head tones.

FMA March 31, 2010 at 10:09 am

[re=545356]Joshua Norton[/re]: Her voice causes seizures in my iguanas. Something, I believe, to do with its effect on their reptilian brains.

BOOBIES! March 31, 2010 at 10:20 am

Sarah’s “news” show is one big Forest Gump movie. I can’t wait until they show Sarah prancing on the moon with Neil Armstrong.

loquaciousmusic March 31, 2010 at 10:30 am

I think it was an honest mistake on FOX’s part. Sarah Palin does indeed have extensions in her hair, bamboo earrings (at least two pair), a Fendi bag, and a bad attitude, and she spends most of the time on her book tours walking with a switch, talking street slang, standing at a bus stop, and sucking on a lollipop.

norbizness March 31, 2010 at 10:32 am

For a minute, I thought he was going to re-record one of his classics, to be re-titled: “(I Can’t Live Without My) Douchebag Reactionary Hate-Filled Talk Radio.”

Gumboz1953 March 31, 2010 at 10:35 am

Reminds me of Barbara Billingsley trying to speak jive.

Chump don’ wan’ da help, chump don’ get da help.

wilbro March 31, 2010 at 10:37 am

LL Cool J: What rappers do you listen to?

Sarah: Oh, uhh, uhh, all of them. Anyone I can get my hands on. I majored in music.

Vanilla Ice. Also.

Gumboz1953 March 31, 2010 at 10:39 am

[re=545356]Joshua Norton[/re]: When she speaks, one more whale goes off course and beaches himself. Dogs howl in pain. Bats fly in circles. And, of course, Jesus covers his ears and asks, “what the holy fuck is that?”, probably.

Lascauxcaveman March 31, 2010 at 10:44 am

(Since it’s the Bee Season)

Prescient: P-R-E-S-C-I-E-N-T, prescient.

mumblyjoe March 31, 2010 at 10:47 am

So, basically, Fox is now officially taking its advice on how to do journalism from James O’KKKeefe?

Godot March 31, 2010 at 10:49 am

I wonder if the interview will go something like this…

“Somebody had to take the babysitter home. Then I noticed she was sitting on — her sweet — can. — o I grab her — sweet can. — Oh, just thinking about — her — can — I just wish I had he — sweet — sweet — s-s-sweet — can.”

priceofrice March 31, 2010 at 10:51 am

El Pinche: FTMFW

brown_recluse March 31, 2010 at 10:53 am

if I can just start running other people’s interviews I too might have a career in celbrity interviewing. Wish I’d been DVR’ing Barbara Walters.

Mr Blifil March 31, 2010 at 10:53 am

[re=545308]TGY[/re]: Sure, never be niggardly with vocabulary.

Hooray For Anything March 31, 2010 at 11:01 am

Won’t viewers be stoked when she interviews Ronald Reagan

Terry March 31, 2010 at 11:01 am


To prove she’s not racist.

Pithaughn March 31, 2010 at 11:02 am

Sounds like a “and so it goes” but with Princess P instead of Linda Ellerbee. So, really super dumbed down and not journalism at all, no way there.

Doglessliberal March 31, 2010 at 11:03 am

really, only one thing needs to be said here:

lindasdf75 March 31, 2010 at 11:05 am

Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He- is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at an age gap dating site- seekcougar . co m—a nice and free place for Younger- Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or- tell your friends.

drpangloss March 31, 2010 at 11:14 am

When the Quitter in Chief runs again in 2012 all the other news media aside from Fox should run all of Sarah old speaches from the last election. It’s going to be the same old crap anyway. “Pallin around with Terrists, Drill Baby Drill, Keeep Gubermint out of our Freedums.”

rottenart March 31, 2010 at 11:14 am

[re=545404]Godot[/re]: That was well-remembered, sir. What are we talking… season 3? 4? Seems like only yesterday.

doxastic March 31, 2010 at 11:15 am

They just had to cancel the interview because Palin’s handler’s couldn’t keep her from calling him O’L.L. Cool J. The piece begins: “Can I call you James?”

rottenart March 31, 2010 at 11:16 am

[re=545420]lindasdf75[/re]: Oh good christ! IT’S BACK! You’re right, though: who cares?

DirtyHarriett March 31, 2010 at 11:17 am

[re=545381]loquaciousmusic[/re]: WIN!!!!!!

booferama March 31, 2010 at 11:18 am

So can we call this tweet a comeback? Or is the video from two years ago a comeback?

mumblyjoe March 31, 2010 at 11:20 am

[re=545420]lindasdf75[/re]: y’know, these being the comments for a Snowbilly post, this almost comes across as semi-quasi-appropriate.

Still annoying as fuck, though.

DirtyHarriett March 31, 2010 at 11:21 am

[re=545435]booferama[/re]: Don’t call it a comeback, he’s been here for years!

DeLand DeLakes March 31, 2010 at 11:27 am

Cool thing sittin’ with a kitty/
Now you know you sure look pretty/
Like to be just a little faster/
Now I know that you are the master/
I don’t wanna/
I don’t think so.

mercure March 31, 2010 at 11:29 am

[re=545435]booferama[/re]: [Cheesy cliched response] “Don’t call it a comeback!” [/Cheesy cliched response]

jus_wonderin March 31, 2010 at 11:41 am

As it is appropriate for a professional spokesperson, host, moderator or news reporter to use a few well placed hand movements (as not to look wooden) I wonder how Sarah would conduct an interview and cope with the inherent “redshift” of the cribnotes on her hand? I mean, she talks a blue streak. I imagine her hands fly at Warp 5.

It boggles the mind. Uh, she boggles the collective mind.

SP: “stiripS naciremA tfiL” (??)

geminisunmars March 31, 2010 at 11:42 am

At huffpo now they are reporting that Faux is cutting that segment, with their comment: “as it appears that Mr. Smith does not want to be associated with a program that could serve as an inspiration to others, we are cutting his interview from the special and wish him the best with his fledgling acting career.”

Gayer Than Thou March 31, 2010 at 11:48 am

A game show. Why is she not hosting a game show? It would be the perfect match for her “abilities,” and, ironically, she would be breaking a glass ceiling there, as few women have succeeded as game show hosts. That whole “oh ya, you betcha” shtick? Perfect for a re-make of “Joker’s Wild.”

Failed 2 Menace March 31, 2010 at 11:55 am

[re=545499]geminisunmars[/re]: “wish him the best with his fledgling acting career.”

The guy has had a central role in a couple of different network TV series and appeared prominently in about 20 movies over a couple of decades.

Opinions may vary regarding the quality of his work, but one thing his acting career is most certainly not is “fledgling.”

But why sweat the facts when you’re trying to subtly insult?

PsycGirl March 31, 2010 at 12:07 pm

If Jim Newell IS “the most prescient investigative journalist since Nostradamus”and Michele Bachmann looks like Nostradamus, does Michele Bachmann actually look like Jim Newell? Discuss.

nappyduggs March 31, 2010 at 12:09 pm

I’m glad LL set the record straight cuz Chuck D. was about to revoke Mr. Cool J’s Negro Papers, just like he did with Flava Flav.

geminisunmars March 31, 2010 at 12:10 pm

[re=545537]Failed 2 Menace[/re]: You’re right, except for the “subtly” part. Fux doesn’t know from subtle.

Lazy Media March 31, 2010 at 12:45 pm

[re=545356]Joshua Norton[/re]: It’s only one episode right now, as a “special” replacement for Facelift von Susterusterusterenenen. If it’s a Smash Hit, she might get another one. I imagine the first one will do OK, because of Curiosity, but not so much after that.

To repeat: Sarah will not actually do anything on this show but read brief speeches off teh teleprompterz and wink. The rest will be canned feature interviews of celebrities that were too lame to run on regular Fox News.

UnattendedConsequence March 31, 2010 at 12:50 pm

In solidarity with Mr. J, I would like it known that I too have not been interviewed by Ms. Palin.

Pop Socket March 31, 2010 at 1:15 pm

[re=545314]Lazy Media[/re]: actual Fox News reporters: There’s a scarily low bar.

Mr Blifil March 31, 2010 at 2:24 pm

[re=545456]DeLand DeLakes[/re]: I’m pretty sure LL Cool J never plays that song sittin’ round the house.

DeLand DeLakes March 31, 2010 at 9:35 pm

[re=545818]Mr Blifil[/re]: I dunno, it’s Kim Gordon blatantly begging for LL Cool J to sex her up in song–I guess I would have hit that, at least back in the ’90s.

Smoke Filled Roommate March 31, 2010 at 10:53 pm

[re=545348]MissyLissa[/re]: Sister Sarah needs some non-Wasilla type street cred.

[re=545818]Mr Blifil[/re]: [re=546371]DeLand DeLakes[/re]: That was Chuck D, yo.

DeLand DeLakes April 2, 2010 at 1:12 am

Yes, yes, that was Chuck D in the video, but the song is for L.L.

tmw April 3, 2010 at 11:08 am

The dumba$$ gave a interview, nothing in his contract said it couldn’t be used over and over.

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