'Do you know somebody called 'The Cowboy'?Wonkette pal (and your editor’s former editor at LA CityBeat) Rebecca Schoenkopf sends this note regarding Erik Brown, the Orange County GOP donor now taking the fall for the RNC’s $2,000 sexytime at West Hollywood’s Club Voyeur bondage-lesbian den of debauchery: “I know Erik Brown really well; we used to do a radio show together,” Schoenkopf writes. “There is simply NO FUCKING WAY it was he.” Full craziness follows:

I know Erik Brown really well; we used to do a radio show together. He is the most uptight, constipated conservative Christian ever, and while that may sound like a perfect candidate for the topless lesbian thing, there is simply NO FUCKING WAY it was he. That kind of shit would make him cry for his mommy. He is clearly, CLEARLY the fall guy on this.

We responded to Rebecca with this picture from that radio show, “The Melting Point” on KRLA 870 AM, where Erik Brown is clearly entranced by Rebecca’s rack.
'Those are two very good points, Rebecca.'
Isn’t this, ipso facto, proof that he would also enjoy looking at boobies at a strip club with Micheal Steele paying the bill by stealing money from Patriotic Republican donors?

“Oh, and about my rack,” Ms. Schoenkopf responds, “He was actually looking off into the distance (I swear; at a point about six inches in FRONT of my rack) but totally don’t let that stop you.”

Okay, so this proves that …. Erik Brown was set up to take the fall by the RNC, by that sleazebag operator Michael Steele, because somebody’s got to take the fall. We’ve got to have a fall guy, the GOP needs a victim, somebody they can pin those Voyeur Club expenses on, the end.

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  1. oldest trick in the book–stare directly at some inanimate object and use peripheral vision to ogle the boobies…

    I’m very glad you insisted on calling her bust a “rack,” though, for laffs.

  2. I remember the days when Rebecca wrote her ‘Commie Girl’ column for the OC Weekly. It was the only thing that kept me sane, having to work in Irvine and all.

  3. Still not as bad as Andrew Young telling the world he was Rielle Hunter’s baby daddy. But what is the deal for (I assume) sane people taking the fall for some stupid shit someone else did?

  4. My memory’s all f*(#ed up recently, but didn’t something like this (i.e. some innocent person voluntarily taking the blame to cover for a politician) happen just a little while ago? Either that or I watched waaaay too much of the Sarah Palin nonsense over the weekend.

  5. I’ve needed a new wonk crush ever since Ana Marie Cox chopped off her hair and started tucking her goodies under ironic t-shirts. Thanks, Wonkette!

  6. See that wedding band on his left hand? That proves there is no way he would be checking out Rebecca’s rack, unless the ass of some young Dominican boy was poking out from between her breasts.

  7. A couple of things: Isn’t that Eeeeeeyyyyyyyeeeeesss WWWWWwwiiiiiddddeeee SShhuuuuuuuttttttt?
    I’d rather listen to Yoko Ono’s Box Set than watch that piece of shit.

    Second, Isn’t she radio pretty?

  8. I thought it was an unwritten rule that if a guy likes to stare at his point six inches in front of her rack and cry for mommy, you’re supposed to keep that kind of thing on the down-low.

  9. [re=543981]AlphaLiberal[/re]:

    Mmmhmm, I see what you did there.

    And why do I think that this post will get an extremely healthy number of page views?

  10. Well, even constipated conservative christians need a little lap dance once in awhile.

    [re=543986]Radiotherapy[/re]: She has the tits for radio.

  11. I am sure Bill O will do a complete expose of this lesbian sex club corrupting the morals of upstanding Republican men. Need lots of pictures, though, Bill. Make it happen.

  12. So if Rebecca is correct about NFW Mr. Jebus ‘Merican Brown was strutting his stuff at the Club Voyeur, then it for Steele “Good Job Brownie.” Now what leverage did that have over this home lovin’, God fearin’ fellah to get him to fall on er swallow ah shove this isle of lesbos sword right up his ass?

  13. [re=543949]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: lets see who gets the IRS deduction.
    then there will be a Hooters lunch where they will exchange a brown bag full o’ cash.

  14. So, what Ms. Schoenkopf is saying is if the Hollywood club had featured hot Man on Man action, it would have been more plausible.

    And if I may speak for everyone here, I think all posts on Wonkette should feature someone’s rack.

  15. [re=543954]Bearbloke[/re]: When asked about your stance on female beauty, you can borrow my line

    “I appreciate woman the way I appreciate a fine painting at the Louvre: yes, it’s very lovely, but I have no desire to stick my dick in it.”

    That said, YEOW! Rebecs, those are some mad gazongas. Way to go, you!

    Anyone else notice how DMI guy is pinching his imaginary nipple as if to say “Oh, what I wouldn’t give to have such luscious breasts of my own. If I were a woman, I’d have a veritable bouncy castle on my chest. I’d finally be the pretty little philly Daddy always wanted me to be. Perhaps a new woman suit is in order…” Run, Rebecca, RUN!

  16. [re=544026]Potater[/re]: He *does* seem to be gearing up to tweak *something* bodacious.

    And, while I, too, play on the Other Team – DANG, woman!

  17. I like a woman who says, Oh, and about my rack…” all casual-like.

    And did she write to Ken to praise Brown or to bury him? Because I can’t tell.

  18. He is the most uptight, constipated conservative Christian ever, and while that may sound like a perfect candidate for the topless lesbian thing, there is simply NO FUCKING WAY it was he. Hekka of a job Brownie.

    This is the true meanig of “Family Values”, that is, family values for the serfs, and unadulterated debauchery for the priveledged, uptight, constipated christian conservatives. Jeesus Weeps.

  19. “There is NFW it was he”

    Example sentence from the new 5th grade textbook “A Practical Grammar for the Motherfucking 21st Century.

  20. [re=543922]N8Ma[/re]: Dammit! Quit giving away trade secrets. Not cool!

    PS: Yes, Becky, he was ogling. Maybe not during the specific fraction of a second when that photo was taken, but rest assured he was. Uptight Xtian or not, it cannot be helped. Eyeballs are moths and features like those are white-hot unavoidable flame.

  21. Best Wonkette commenter boobage since good ol’ Nerdalicious shared that photo of her mostly shirtless self in some protest march (Breast cancer awareness, maybe? Hell do I care.)

    Are you still out there, Nerdalicious? I think we may need a Wonkette commenter rack-off to determine the Queen of Wonkette Commenter Racks. Ken? Can we make this our official March Madness here? Brackets and stuff with lots of entries?

  22. Sexual distraction, such as that being practiced by Becky, is a respected debating strategy. Remember when Joe Biden unfolded his gigantic penis during the VP debate? Sarah Palin was taken aback.

    Gosh, “being taken aback” has a subtle subtext on Wonkette.

  23. [re=544091]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: No need for a rack-off so’s y’all can whack-off. Why? With Steele dragging the GOP through the shitheap, you’ll find the Teabaggers and the religious nuts to be a little less generous with what little dough they have to throw at the antiChrist. So you’ll see more of this:

    proposing ways for a lazy pair of boooooobs to get herself on the ballot in 46 fucking states without even enduring a proper primary. The only tits you’ll need are Mother Sarah’s, because she’s the Mother to us all, the Ur-bosom of American Values.

  24. [re=544093]grevillea[/re]: Present however you want, but I recommend smooth as possible if you want to make it to the Sweet 16.

    (Also, and too, despite the cheerfully vocal minority of the gheys here, I’m betting Wonkette commenters prefer female rackage over dude rackage. OTOH, the lady commenters get to vote too.)

  25. [re=544098]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Is Sarahtonin showing us the size of Steele’s penis or how close she is to taking a job at the Club Voyeur?

  26. [re=544098]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Wow, that is the most comprehensive blog ever. 3 whole posts. Did they wear out the keyboard setting that up? And have they ever read the Libertarian Party’s platform, what with the drugs, abortion, and keeping Christian wackos out of other people’s bedrooms?

  27. He is clearly looking forward, even if the pic is funny. However, I recall conservatives pulling the same thing with an Obama picture at a summit where it was obvious he was not checking out some guy’s bottom, so play ball, etc.

  28. [re=544049]sati demise[/re]: Way to rub it in. You might need to rein back those sorts of comments. Already this guy is saddled with problems. No need to beat up on him. He’s going to have to pony up that money as it is.

  29. I can appreciate nice cleavage as much as the next girl. But what really gets me hot is a discussion of Republican naughtiness where some white, Christian, married contractor guy is taking the fall for Steele. What does Steele have on him that would make this the better of two options? (Other than future contracts for franking, of course.)

  30. I don’t know what’s craziest – the possibility of an uptight fall guy in a GOP bondage sex club scandal setting up a possible “Deep Throat,” the picture of Peri Gilpin or that “Schoenkopf” means “beautiful head” in German. Too many coincidences… brain overload…

  31. [re=544164]Decker[/re]: Tucker Carlson was supplied the buried-lede story by one of his intimates. “Tucker” means “one who tucks.” Also.

    I can’t figure out if this is Nabokov or Shakespeare or Burgess, but as long as there’s a cleavage angle, I’m there.

  32. RNC official #1: I have one here for the Voyuer Club in West Hollywood.
    RNC Official #2: What’s it for?
    RNC official #1: “Meals” it says.
    RNC official #2: That’s not a Buddhist temple is it?
    RNC officail #1: No, strip club.
    RNC official #2: Pay it.

  33. He is clearly not staring at her rack. I am not similarly constrained. I cannot speak as to whether he is transfixed, however, by the phallic-looking microphone suspended pendulously as if offering a forbidden invitation. I’m gonna need to see more rack shots, come to think of it, before I can make a scientific determination on either subject.

  34. Nothing but good has come of this whole scandal. Republicans get embarrassed, we get great humor material, I find out about Commiegirl and add another excellent website to my daily rounds…

    …oh, and boobs, naturally.

  35. [re=544153]PsycGirl[/re]: Sorry about his problems. Really, Really sorry. Also, fuck Orange county. Assfuck capitol of CA and not in the fun way except in the closets and confessionals.

  36. You have to love a comment thread where the Wonketeers go all Fourteen-Years-Old on everyone. It is amazing that any of us ever got laid.

  37. [re=544208]TGY[/re]: Ooooh, are you one of those people who intone “Between you and I” as well? That is my very favorite of ever! You, sir, are sadly wrong, which wouldn’t have been a big deal except you tried to smack down a copyeditor on matters of grammar. Landwar/Asia/etc. Step off!

  38. [re=544219]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Sorry, I was shooting for 12. And yes, lucky me, I actually got laid this morning, much to my surprise – just don’t tell my wife.

    (Kidding! She actually there at the time.)

  39. [re=543949]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: [re=544041]OzoneTom[/re]:
    But what is the deal for (I assume) sane people taking the fall for some stupid shit someone else did?

    Yes, what is he getting? Well, in the criminal world, taking the rap for someone else is a badge of honor. It means you always have a place at the table.

  40. [re=544188]donner_froh[/re]: And yet, even in that Photo, Erik is eying her rackaliciousness in the reflection off the camera lens… Down, boy!

  41. [re=544241]auduboner[/re]: No, not Lionel, it was me. And I have to say, 6:00AM is a bit early to perform my husbandly duties, but was nice. Though as you get older, it get harder, if you know what I mean.

  42. [re=544229]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Well, obviously, someone has to run the camera.

    [re=544241]auduboner[/re]: Think of an all day Star Trek marathon.

    Now imagine that it is commercial free.

    Now imagine that you have your favorite intoxicant at hand.

    Now imagine it all hot and wet and sort of panicky…,

    Yeah, something like that.

  43. I have just had an epiphany: entrance and enTRANCE are spelled the same. Yeah for homonyms!

    BTW, this is my first post in many moons. Welcome me back.

  44. Oh, yeah. Poor Erik. So much in-your-face boobage he doesnt’ even know what to do. Today, we are all framed and repressed conservative fall guys!

    Yea, these are the trials and tribulations of modern man. Lo, we surely serve a cruel god. To look or not to look, that is the question?

  45. I, I, dear god help me, I cannot help myself, I, I would hit that.

    [re=544091]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: The best visual I have ever seen on Wonkette was an avatar, someone’s avatar from long ago, I forget the name, even, but it was a beautiful naked woman whose body was covered with M&Ms.

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