INSTANT CLASSICS  1:19 pm March 29, 2010

Wingnut C-SPAN Caller Furious About All The Black Callers

by Jim Newell

This poor Real American simply does not care for all the coloreds who keep calling in to C-SPAN, demanding welfare. Will someone at “Black-SPAN” please fix this? [YouTube]

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chascates March 29, 2010 at 1:24 pm

They’re trying to find those lesbian clubs.

Mr Blifil March 29, 2010 at 1:25 pm

Dude’s so backwards he won’t even buy a colored TV.

Larry Fine March 29, 2010 at 1:26 pm

Here is a great way to increase ratins. Instead of that stupid system of Republican, Democrat, or independent phonelines, more viewers would watch CSPAN is they had White or Colored phonelines.

Katydid March 29, 2010 at 1:26 pm

Breaking News O/T

A 33-year-old Philadelphia man was charged today with threatening to kill Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA) in a profanity-strewn Youtube video that has since been pulled down.

In the video, Norman Leboon says Cantor will “receive my bullets in your office, remember they will be placed in your heads. You and your children are Lucifer’s abominations

Lionel Hutz Esq. March 29, 2010 at 1:26 pm

He just needs to go to a Tea Bag Rally. He won’t have to worry about hearing or seeing to many black people there.

Hooray For Anything March 29, 2010 at 1:27 pm

Not to make any assumptions, but I’m guessing the caller listed themselves as Confed Southern Am on their census form

WIDTAP March 29, 2010 at 1:27 pm

As the mighty [re=543198]Alex_P[/re]: once said: “So their race is their political affiliation. Where have we heard that before?”

mdotsota March 29, 2010 at 1:28 pm

I’m shocked he didn’t even try and throw in a “Now I’m not racist, BUT . . .” into there. Are wingnuts not even trying anymore?

CaliforniaMike March 29, 2010 at 1:29 pm

He’s just mad because he saw the picture of all the watermelons that got planted on teh White House lawn once colored people were allowed to live there.

WIDTAP March 29, 2010 at 1:29 pm

Oh for the days when the coloreds used their own phone lines, drinking fountain, swimming pool, door to the movie theater, etc.

Red Zeppelin March 29, 2010 at 1:29 pm

I wonder what he thinks of the NBA?

ArkansasFred March 29, 2010 at 1:29 pm

Duh, Bill from St. Paul’s, North Carolina. The “C” stands for “chicken.”

CrunchyKnee March 29, 2010 at 1:29 pm

He knows that they have an opinion.

Udargo March 29, 2010 at 1:31 pm

You see? You let one of them become president and now they think they own the whole country. Is nothing sacred anymore? And by “sacred” I mean “reserved for white people.”

Redhead March 29, 2010 at 1:32 pm

Well, to be fair, those Southern cornfed Confederates are already an under-represented minority, even without C-SPAN ignoring them. And if it hadn’t been for the war of Northern Aggression, teh blacks would still be seen but not heard (except when they’re being whipped for looking at teh wimminz – then they can let out a yelp).

the problem child March 29, 2010 at 1:32 pm

How can he be sure it’s not crackers pretending to be black, because they are afraid Bubba might find out they were looking into gettin’ ‘em summa dat gubmint-run health care?

BOOBIES! March 29, 2010 at 1:32 pm

“Who let the colored folks on my TV? Goddamn Kenya socialist NOBAMA!”

geminisunmars March 29, 2010 at 1:32 pm

“I understand your frustration.” Do they take classes in how to mollify douchebags before they are allowed to host at C-span? I did see (I think) a tickle of amusement around his lips, but how he managed to be so non-reactive was a sight to behold.

edgydrifter March 29, 2010 at 1:33 pm

And another thing–the homos are breathing too much of our good, decent American air. Something must be done.

I-man March 29, 2010 at 1:33 pm

The caller didn’t surprise me as much as the host agreeing with him.

Dolmance March 29, 2010 at 1:34 pm

The moderator was so solicitous of that racist pig fucker. And that line about how, “I understand your frustration?” What the fuck? I think he’d have understood the guy’s frustration if he’d been kept from eating those goddamn caller’s livers too.

whiskey tango foxtrot March 29, 2010 at 1:34 pm

OK but if CSPAN is going to have different divisions for different viewers this guy should change over to watching GetOffMyLawn-span.

nappyduggs March 29, 2010 at 1:36 pm

“I don’t understand how, if these folks are 10 percent, 12 percent of the population, how they make up 80 percent of your callers.”

1.) Boost Mobile
2.) You are a cretin.

SayItWithWookies March 29, 2010 at 1:37 pm

For the last time, people — don’t expect your damn call-in show to be whites-only when Everybody Loves Raymond is airing. Sheesh.

Sussemilch March 29, 2010 at 1:37 pm

If you’re up at 4:30am watching C-SPAN then society has already forsaken you.

ArkansasFred March 29, 2010 at 1:37 pm

“Let’s go to Bill from North Carolina, Bill, you’re on the air.”

“Hi. I’d like to make a little respectful criticism about BET. Why so many black shows, BET? What is this, BLACK Entertainment Television?”

“Yes. Yes it is.”


mdotsota March 29, 2010 at 1:37 pm

[re=543375]I-man[/re]: I doubt he actually agrees with this guy’s point, but they must present the image of objectivity. And while yelling “Fuck off you racist asswart” would have been appropriate for everyone else, an Objective and Serious TV Person simply can not say such things. So you get things like this.

Zorg March 29, 2010 at 1:38 pm

Must suck to be an old white racist in a small town in one of the states of the former Confederacy. Really, really suck.

freakishlystrong March 29, 2010 at 1:38 pm

I think we found the guy who ordered all the black folks outta the Walmart. CSPAN and Walmart are for honkeys!

crumpet March 29, 2010 at 1:39 pm

What does Caller propose? That only 3/5 of “black” callers be allowed to do the talkin’?

mdotsota March 29, 2010 at 1:41 pm

Also, does anyone else think “Black-Span” sounds like a good name for a special move for a character in Street Fighter?

librulabortionlover March 29, 2010 at 1:45 pm

[re=543375]I-man[/re]: that was the shocker (ew) for me too. why did he say “we appreciate your input”?

Dumptruck March 29, 2010 at 1:45 pm

I think Joe Biden got drunk and prank called C-Span again.

Katydid March 29, 2010 at 1:46 pm

[re=543370]geminisunmars[/re]: Nah, I agree with Dolmance, the moderator, or anchor, or whatever and whoever the fuck he is screwed up. He shoulda kept with the standard, “Thank you for your call” and hung up on the pigfucker. What’s with the “I understand your frustration” crap? Now black people can’t be Republicans? Only Michael fucking Steele can? Fuck that. And the guy was nodding his head ever so slightly at some point during the rant. The usual C-SPAN people are made of wood, this guy is shit.

ella March 29, 2010 at 1:47 pm

Clearly, he was the first on his block to say “they” would get all uppity if Hopey got elected.

Hooray For Anything March 29, 2010 at 1:49 pm

[re=543367]the problem child[/re]: Maybe it was a black person pretending to white in a clever attempt to make the white man look bad and bring him down?

[re=543390]mdotsota[/re]: Or a really bad sketch that ran on MadTV or something on BET.

Those Tricks March 29, 2010 at 1:49 pm

That clip is too much.

side note : Haven’t really looked at comments on this site before.
Glad to see they are civil, rational and hilarious.
Go Wonkette!

EdFlinstone March 29, 2010 at 1:49 pm

I know wingtards like to be spoon fed only crap they agree with. Its why they listen to Rush-Hannity-Beck on the car radio, then go home and turn on Fox and watch Beck and Hannity. Now they act like C in C-Span should be conservative(whites) only. What does this guy change the channel when a black person calls in? And the caller’s “they should call in the right line”–just left me speechless.

Dumptruck March 29, 2010 at 1:50 pm

Ever since the digital Tee Vee conversion and buyin’ my LCD Tee Vee seems to be blacker. I mean, it was bad enough when they switched from white television to “colored” television… They allowed the reds and the greens and the blues to mix, but now there’s a lot of black too! We should repeal color tee vee law!

OldGrowthSwamp March 29, 2010 at 1:52 pm

By that logic, the, “C”, in C-Span stands for Caucasian. Caucasian-Span.

widestanceromancer March 29, 2010 at 1:55 pm

C-SPAN callers-in are a gold–no, make that diamond–mine of comedy, and it’s nice to see this under-utilized box of tools get some press. A caller once exclaimed that he wanted some gubmit money so he could get his d*ck up Greta’s *ss. I’ve heard callers, who invariably leave the volume up on their TVs, so confused by the moderator’s delayed voice on the TV they start walked away from the phone to better hear them through the TV.

Larry McAwful March 29, 2010 at 2:04 pm

I understand the caller’s frustration, too. He’s a bigot, he hates black people, and he wants the call screeners to do what they can to make sure fewer blacks call in. Sure, I don’t agree with him or anything, but I understand him.

EdFlinstone March 29, 2010 at 2:04 pm

I supposed what this guy wants is OK, next caller, Jamal on the n-line.

jfruh March 29, 2010 at 2:07 pm

I like how he says that they should “call in on the right line.” You know, a line that is still of course equal, but perhaps in some way separate, know what I mean?

kungfusheriff March 29, 2010 at 2:12 pm

[re=543375]I-man[/re]: He agreed with him because it was a good way to keep racist-phone-douche talking.

DemmeFatale March 29, 2010 at 2:15 pm

Love how the anchor’s face froze when he realized what kind of call this was, and gave the caller enough rope to hang himself.

Black-Span? Really? (I guess that passes for “clever” in his world.)

Ripley_in_CT March 29, 2010 at 2:15 pm

He’s clairvoyant? He can see black people through his TV when they are on the phone? He should patent this for the Teabaggers.

Ripley_in_CT March 29, 2010 at 2:21 pm

Oh, and one more thing. This douchebag redneck caller wants “teh blacks” to call in on the right line, not the Republican or Conservative line.

Are there no conservative blacks? No Republican blacks? I betcha Mr. Steele would have a problem with this line of thinking…. if he was paying attention to something other than his bondage fantasies.

bitchincamaro March 29, 2010 at 2:21 pm

When it becomes Latino caller dominated, can we call it Spic Span?

sezme March 29, 2010 at 2:23 pm

[re=543377]Dolmance[/re]: No kidding. The moderator showed supreme idiocy in even appearing to take this guy’s concerns seriously.

JoeMac March 29, 2010 at 2:30 pm

[re=543362]ArkansasFred[/re]: Really, I always thought it was Coon-Span.

sati demise March 29, 2010 at 2:46 pm

Go somewhere else, Bill.

predilectrix March 29, 2010 at 2:59 pm

[re=543407]Those Tricks[/re]: We’re civil? Just off to a slow start this week.

predilectrix March 29, 2010 at 3:02 pm

[re=543487]bitchincamaro[/re]: Yes. And when it leans towards the distaff side, it changes to C-Spot.

BobTheBuilder March 29, 2010 at 3:06 pm

I sense the invisible hand of SkoalRebel.

chaste everywhere March 29, 2010 at 3:10 pm

[re=543487]bitchincamaro[/re]: !Muy excelente! (But pretend the first ! is upside down.)

assistant/atlas March 29, 2010 at 3:16 pm

Yeah man, where all the white women at?

blkblt March 29, 2010 at 3:26 pm

First A Charley Brown Christmas and now this…

slithytoves March 29, 2010 at 3:45 pm

[re=543407]Those Tricks[/re]: Stick around, honey. You might change your mind – if this place were civil I probably wouldn’t be here.

GOPCrusher March 29, 2010 at 4:13 pm

Teh Blacks (TM) call into C-Span?
Next thing, you’ll try to convince me that they vote and get involved in the political process in the United States.

BadKitty March 29, 2010 at 5:23 pm

C’mon now, give the caller a break. He has a point. You’re all acting as though you didn’t know that C-Span is short for Caucasian-Span.

louballs March 29, 2010 at 5:36 pm

I love the whining about how “unfairly” Bush was treated. As if us saying he sucked made him suck; time was all these hogfuckers would actually DEFEND W’s policies, or at least read out of their pages-stuck-together copy of “Rebel-In-Chief.”

sanantonerose March 29, 2010 at 6:15 pm

[re=543487]bitchincamaro[/re]: Spic Span. Classic.

momus March 29, 2010 at 8:06 pm

Nothing sadder than a “Confed Southern AM” so addled that he no longer realizes that the Republicans were behind the The “Yankee War of Aggression.”

digibal235 March 29, 2010 at 9:55 pm

Obama’s not Jesus Christ?

Beanball March 29, 2010 at 10:57 pm

[re=543407]Those Tricks[/re]: Just for today, we are all C-Span anchor wanna-be’s.

Extemporanus March 29, 2010 at 10:59 pm

Ain’t nuthin’ but a G-SPAN, baaay-bay!
Two black-ass callerz so we’re craaay-zay!
Death Panel is the channel that paaayz me!
Unchangeable, so please don’t try to change this…

venus March 29, 2010 at 11:28 pm

[re=544205]Extemporanus[/re]: Love it!

JackieBinAZ March 30, 2010 at 2:20 am

Michael Steele is proof that black people can share their values.

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