Teabaggers All Unemployed Slobs With Nothing Better To Do

  go figure

Hopefully she's dead by now.
Here’s a shocking journalistic discovery by famous webzine the New York Times: Turns out all those Tea Party people are out of work or, at best, retired and homeless. Surprise! Bet you thought they all had seven-figure executive salaries and traveled to these dirt-lot Sarah Palin swap meets on Lear Jets.

When Tom Grimes lost his job as a financial consultant 15 months ago, he called his congressman, a Democrat, for help getting government health care. Then he found a new full-time occupation: Tea Party activist.

Ha, what?

And that’s basically the whole article: Unemployed people angry about stuff like not having government health care and not having their manufacturing jobs protected by the government have turned to the Teabagging Movement, because that’s exactly what the Founding Fathers did when they got laid off from their toilet-factory jobs and were each thirty-grand deep in credit card debt and couldn’t sell their shitty suburban houses because they bought during the bubble.

The newspaper report notes that ruined jobless people also organized and protested during the Great Depression, but those strange “smart people” actually demanded help from the government. [New York Times]

 
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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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199 comments

  1. Marxist Leninist Papist

    The poor getting duped to serve the interests of fat cats and politcos. It would be funny if not so sad and typical of human history.

  2. Neilist

    Q: What’s the difference between an African lion and a teabagger:

    A. Normally, African lions refuse to eat maggoty, rotten pieces of old, dead meat, e.g., teabaggers.

  3. Sleeves

    The position of salaried propagandist is always waiting for you. Earn your salt with intellectual rent seeking!

  4. bago

    “those strange “smart people” actually demanded help from the government.”

    You makin fun of the Palins again?

  5. ManchuCandidate

    Bunch of old loser poorly educated dumbfucks. Note to kiddie, stay in school and read books or you’ll end up like this!

    If I were US American then I’d wonder why my taxes go to such undeserving shits and think about making laws tough for these welfare fatties till I remember that social programs go to everyone including those who really don’t “deserve” it something that these fucks don’t get.

    Ironic, eh?

  6. predilectrix

    I think Maslow got it wrong, at least for those carrying the T-bag gene. When sufferers of this genetic mutation are not getting their basic human needs met (safety, food, shelter, sex, etc.), rather than seeking to address this, they are triggered to self-actualizing their latent T-baggedness, contrary to their own best interests.

  7. the problem child

    What happened to the “help a brother” post? I was trying post a question, but then it disappeared. I think I must have broken something in the tubes.

    Oh,and teabaggers are unemployed/ unemployable welfare bums? That’s not “news”, that’s gospel.

  8. iwillsavethispatient

    “the home would sell for about $40,000 less than they paid 19 years ago — not enough to pay off their mortgage.”

    Wait… what? Can somehow explain how this is even possible?
    1) House prices 19 years ago must have been a lot lower than they are now, even in a housing crash.
    2) If you’ve been paying your mortgage for 19 years, surely you would have paid off $40,000 of the principle by now? And that’s assuming you got a mortgage for 100% of the value of the house.

    It’s a good job these people are campaigning for the government to keep its hands off the banks and their predatory lending practices!

  9. ForTheTurnstiles

    [re=542777]predilectrix[/re]: There’s a special line item in the DSM just for this symptom, actually.

  10. Marxist Leninist Papist

    Drinking the Regan cool-aide for so bloody long fucked up real nice the American psyche….fucked it up good.

  11. Chernobyl Soup

    [re=542780]the problem child[/re]: I think Neilist scared Ken away with his question. That was some messed up shit.

  12. Sleeves

    [re=542786]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: I was hoping he merely received what he needed, in a snap instant, ’cause I had nothing.

  13. sezme

    Dear Ken,

    DIdn’t there used to be another article between this one and the last one? One with a name not unlike, “Help a brother out?” Consider this my one and only handout. Now go get a real job. Hippie.

    Sezme

  14. obfuscator

    But real estate agents told them the home would sell for about $40,000 less than they paid 19 years ago — not enough to pay off their mortgage.

    Then Ms. Reimer saw a story about the Tea Party on television. “I said, ‘That’s it,’ ” she recalled. “How can you get this frustration out, have your voices heard?”

    so… lemme get this straight. you decided to become a rabid anti-government nutfuck because you made a poor investment? god, these people are fucking worthless.


  15. Post author
    Ken Layne

    [re=542780]the problem child[/re]: Sometimes it is easier to kill a post than go to the trouble of banning fifteen different commenters.

  16. sezme

    [re=542779]Serolf Divad[/re]: Maybe.

    But I recently learned of a parasite that lives in cats, and when cats poop it out, it wants to go back into the cat, so when rats come along and eat the cat poop (which is something they do, apparently), the parasite travels to the rats’ brains and confuses the signals for Fear and Love, making the rats fall in love with cats who in turn eat them, thus making the parasite happy again.

    This too, is a good analogy for the behaviour of teabaggers: they should maybe try not eating so much cat shit.

  17. Redhead

    Now, which came first, teh stupid or teh unemployment?
    Are they unemployed because they’re stupid… or did they become stupid after the months of unemployment and not doing anything productive turned their brains to mush?

    Or… have they just not grasped what the words “health care” actually means? The latter seems quite plausible.

  18. the problem child

    [re=542791]Ken Layne[/re]: Ah, okay. Hope you still got the wingnut question, anyway.

  19. Servo

    [re=542794]sezme[/re]:
    they should maybe try not eating so much cat shit.
    They can’t resist, especially if it’s smothered in melted Velveeta.

  20. Beijing and Nothingness

    [re=542794]sezme[/re]: Do you mean Toxoplasmosis?

    “By contrast, the infected men appeared to suffer from the “alley cat” effect: becoming less well groomed undesirable loners who were more willing to fight. They were more likely to be suspicious and jealous. “They tended to dislike following rules,” Flegr said.”

  21. Sleeves

    [re=542781]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: It’s the Social Security salary that gets me. Having been born in the early seventies, I’ve been told that I’ll never see a dime of that—’it’ will have been bankrupted—for as long as I can remember. Haha.

  22. Oldskool

    Too bad those super-patriotic types couldn’t muster up enough of that indignation to get off their fat asses when they were being lied into a 2 trillion dollar war. Ignorant dipshits. Forget illegal immigrants, these are the people who should be deported.

  23. x111e7thst

    You know who else got most of his early support from unempoyed asshats terrified of Communismz?

  24. Monsieur Grumpe

    Dear unemployed Teabaggers,
    I hear the Catholic church is looking for people. The pay is so so but the benefits are very good, if you know what I mean.
    Sincerely,
    Mr. Grumpy

  25. Leon999

    Tea Baggers are just Baby Boomers who’ve smoked way too much Metamucil. Will this fucking generation please hurry up & die?

  26. sati demise

    [re=542806]Oldskool[/re]: not only the war, but the 2 Trillion in tax cuts for the ultra rich that started this whole downward spiral into the red, red pit of deficit and despair.

  27. Hemp Dogbane

    [re=542781]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: Mortgaging Norm Coleman style – with 9 or 11 home equity loans. Bet Mrs. Teabag looks great standing by the granite countertops.

  28. chowkster

    I am struck by the number of folding chairs one sees in the teabagger rallies. Do liberals also carry around folding chairs the way the ‘baggers do?

  29. the problem child

    [re=542781]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: Second mortgage or line of credit secured by the hpme when home values were higher? It’s a dumb move, but nobody said these baggers were geniuses.

  30. obfuscator

    [re=542821]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:

    “If you don’t trust the mindset or the value system of the people running the system, you can’t even look at the facts anymore,” Mr. Grimes said.

    yeah best not to look at facts when it comes to such matters. [re=542821]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:

  31. Katydid

    [re=542822]chowkster[/re]: Me too! Jad Abumrad is amazing for sheer intelligence, playfulness, inventiveness, curiousity, and, just…that mind, that talent! He and Robert Krulwich are perfect together. Krulwich, of course, has always been great. It’s my favorite podcast!

  32. Marxist Leninist Papist

    [re=542821]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Even they are becoming a bit Nietzschian these red-blooded American types, No ? We are all post-moderns now..

  33. Terry

    My favorite quote from a man receiving Social Security:

    ““If you quit giving people that stuff, they would figure out how to do it on their own,” Mr. Grimes said.”

  34. chowkster

    [re=542825]Katydid[/re]: You are absolutely right. I have always been a science geek, but Jad and Robert make science so much more fun and relevant. Radio Lab should be made required listening for 7th graders all over the US. Especially in Texas.

  35. S.Luggo

    [re=542818]chowkster[/re]: Those are folding chairs left in the arenas of the WFW matches teabaggers gleefully attend.

    Historical note: Folding chairs were available at the Colesium for the plebes to use as they watched Kenyan Marxists get torn apart by American eagles. Binoculars with cross-hairs, also. Good times.

  36. ForTheTurnstiles

    [re=542826]Marxist Leninist Papist[/re]: Nietzschean in the sense of being overreliant on shrill rhetoric and misogyny, yes. However, none of these fuckers is going beyond human, and none of them gives a shit about the eternal recurrence of the same or the production of truth-claims through the will to power of a dominant class (they believe in Eternal Verities, like the Wagnerians N loved to hate). Do they suffer from a surplus of life and energy and will? Fuck no, these are the sick resentful and Jew-hating ones that Nietzsche spent his career puking on. &c.

  37. SayItWithWookies

    He blames the government for his unemployment. “Government is absolutely responsible, not because of what they did recently with the car companies, but what they’ve done since the 1980s,” he said. “The government has allowed free trade and never set up any rules.”

    Oh, right — “Damn that government that, after I vote to cut its revenues and reduce its ability to act, manages to lose me my job in the new laissez-faire economy that I wanted.” I’m familiar with this sentiment, having written software for people who then complain that it does X when they inadvertently press the X button when it should in fact be able to discern that the button was pressed by mistake.

  38. grevillea

    [re=542781]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: The Gummint shouldn’t be bailin’ out banks and tellin’ ‘em what they can do. It’s Gummint interference that made the bank ignore my unemployment and lend me 200% of my home’s value and crash the market! See, yer gittin’ me all riled up again, Nobama!

  39. S.Luggo

    [re=542828]Terry[/re]: Grimes also says that he’s thinking (which moght be a stretch) of getting a job with Big Government (i.e. the Census Bureau). Lock your doors.

    New teabagger motto: If you can’t be part of the solution, be part of the problem.

  40. weejee

    [re=542832]SayItWithWookies[/re]: R U sayin’ the TeaTards are jousting with 16 bit pointers in a 64 bit world?

  41. Sleeves

    [re=542833]grevillea[/re]: I’m unsure how Collective Attitude works to dispel the putative shame spell. If only the government had done a little more than fukin’ around with bankers, I’d never have felt exposed in my own house? All the speaking to avoid “which goes without saying goes best unspoken”?

  42. Thatcher

    [re=542781]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: Cash-out, no-doc/loc-doc, interest-only, option-ARM refi, natch.

  43. sati demise

    Cant wait for the anniversary of Timothy McVeigh.

    [re=542832]SayItWithWookies[/re]: But will they ever blame Zombie Reagan?
    NO, nevah!

  44. Jim89048

    So let me get this straight. Quitting quitter we’ll call her “Diana Reimer” quits her job to become a full-time teabagger? What happens when the munnies run out, she goes on welfare? Social Security? Either way, her business plan kinda sucks. Christ. she’s 67, can’t she just break her hip like she’s supposed to at her age?

  45. Sleeves

    [re=542837]Sleeves[/re]: It’s not working for them, of course, that’s why Dick Armey is comically calling theseuns to “remain [a] strong [evergreen constituency for some time...y'know, 'time' they don't ciper out too well.]” on the record.

  46. smellyal8r

    This article confirms what I’ve believed all along…especially the fact that one of them is using his Social Security and Medicare to get himself around the country to protest — yes — the gummint.

    During today’s Palm Sunday service, I was interested that an angry mob drove Pilate’s decision to kill Jesus. Hmmm… Tea Baggers of their day…

  47. AKAM80TheWolf

    [re=542830]S.Luggo[/re]:

    Yeah, those folding chairs in ancient Roman times were slaves named Davus or Clemens.

    SPQR!1!!!1!11

  48. Country Club Jihadi

    They have lemonade stands in front of Virginia DMV’s. I was solicited by freaks holding Hitler “stache posters of Obama and ‘Where are the Jobs?” chants just trying to renew my license. I had to use a side door to avoid them.

  49. BaconTime

    Yeah this about sums up the hypocrisy of most teabaggers I know. You wouldn’t believe how many of them are fed government employees here in DC. They don’t even work for teabagger-ey agencies like the FBI or ATF, but agencies that would anathema to their existence, like Patent and Trademark Office and Department of Education. Oh, and they take the Metro to work. Yes we are only scraping the tip of the retarded iceberg with this NYT piece.

  50. St.SarahOfThePO

    [She liked that the Tea Party was patriotic, too. “They said the Pledge of Allegiance and sang the national anthem,” she said.]

    How long would it take for her head to explode if she knew that a socialist wrote the Pledge?

  51. grevillea

    [re=542845]Horselover Fat[/re]: Hmmm, the “for Dummies” concept is already taken… How about “Community Organizin’ for Fuckin’ Redneck Retardz… the How-To for the Rest of All Y’All”

  52. Joshua Norton

    Worst game of pictionary evah!

    ‘baggers really have no clue on how to make a decent sign.

  53. Red Zeppelin

    Doonesbury was brilliant today. These people are simply Yippies grown old and dumb. You know, as an older Gen X’er, I have a lot of issues with Boomers, and this really brings them into focus: the utter self-centrism, lack of irony, irrationality, sense of ideological purity. I just returned from China and spoke to several victims of the Cultural Revolution, and I believe that exactly the same ideology is working on the right, here in the ole US of fucking A.

  54. Come here a minute

    Dear Ken Layne,

    Every time I Brazilian wax my balls, I get a horrible burning sensation. Is there some way I can use my gun to solve this problem?

    Sincerely,
    Come here a minute

  55. Blender

    [re=542791]Ken Layne[/re]: You may have to bring out the banhammer anyway. This isn’t as bad as when that crazy woman responded to every post and then talked about her dogs/horses/whatever the hell animals she had 20 times a day (but especially on weekends), but it’s getting there.

  56. slavojzizek

    Teabaggers typically have higher incomes than most people and a little more college (according. To polls). In line with these trends for ages, it’s the middle class that produces the assholes in our society. The poor-even poor whites-vote majority Democratic and like big gunmint.

  57. Mad Brahms

    If I wasn’t already neck-deep in a thesis about people on the other side of the world, I would love to do an ethnography of teabaggers. *Someone* should. The part that got me, and actually made me a bit sad, was:

    “Ms. Reimer often wells up talking about her work. “I’m respected,” she said, her voice breaking. “I don’t know why. I don’t know what is so special. But I’m willing to do it.” ”

    People are so ground down and dehumanized by the perils of capitalist work that they’re actually finding meaning in *defending it*, collecting social security checks from the government while simultaneously campaigning against the perils of a boogeyman “socialism” that the see as the real source of their disempowerment. It’s tragic and almost sympathetic, masses of people vigorously campaigning against themselves.

  58. KTHXBAI

    Oh teabaggers ranting about health care. What the Hell are they gonna do when the sky doesn’t fall?

  59. Mad Brahms

    [re=542861]KTHXBAI[/re]: Oh, it won’t matter – it’s not about healthcare anyway. It’s a crisis of meaning driven by fear, preyed upon by vested interests who can pop in any other given issue at will. Frank Rich actually had a fairly decent column in the NYT this last week that I can scarcely compare to myself.

  60. betterDeadThanRed

    [re=542849]BaconTime[/re]: Where’s the Hatch act when you need it?

    [re=542853]Red Zeppelin[/re]: Most teabaggers are boomers but it does not necessarily follow that most boomers are teabaggers. There are a few of us who care about our fellow man, etc, Some are even lefties.

  61. El Pinche

    Our president makes an unannounced visit to Afghanistan , meanwhile these racist tubs of poo are depleting the french fry supply in Searchlight.

  62. guangho

    Dear Come here a minute,

    As a patriotic American, it is your duty to solve this problem for yourself and your compatriots, preferably before any attempts to mate.

  63. Sleeves

    [re=542866]El Pinche[/re]: Of course, the whole point of an unannounced visit to Afghanistan is lost, if you keep it a secret! Why didn’t you tell El Pinche?

    Mr. President, it is not only possible, it is essential. That is the whole idea of this personal computing machine, you know. Deterrence is the art of producing in the altermind of the superego…the FEAR of attack…

  64. Johnny Zhivago

    Dad-durnit, that Obama Muslin can do anything he wants eyes be a guess-in
    with his communist friends, as long as he don’t try havins the governmint
    takes over my Medicare!

  65. Dashboard_Buddha

    [re=542806]Oldskool[/re]: “Too bad those super-patriotic types couldn’t muster up enough of that indignation to get off their fat asses when they were being lied into a 2 trillion dollar war.”

    Truer words have never been said.

  66. Johnny Zhivago

    In all seriousness, if Obama wants the Teabaggers’ heads to explode in unison,
    or even better, just all leave the country or commit mass suicide, he should
    sign an executive order mandating adoption of the metric system in the US.

    It’s great because these bottom dwellers will all either be arrested for speeding
    or die of starvation or from over ingestion of soda-pop within a month or so.

  67. geminisunmars

    [re=542810]Leon999[/re]: Don’t be dissing us Boomers
    We blew out our minds with stuff finer
    And if we hurry up and die,
    whose basement you gonna occupy?

  68. steve

    As (probably) the only Wonkette reader actually from the small town who’s toilet factory (Eljer’s kitchen and bathroom fixtures) got closed, let me just say that our laid off toilet builders are either nice people or heroine addicts. Not Palin supporters. Even in squalor, we have our dignity. Thank you.

  69. Mad Brahms

    [re=542876]chascates[/re]: So is Walnuts! like methadone for them, then? What happens when you go into Palin withdrawal?

  70. Mad Brahms

    [re=542859]slavojzizek[/re]: Way back in the day, a sociolinguist by the name of William Labov did a survey in which he looked at the speech patterns of four classes of people in New York: lower, lower-middle, upper-middle, and upper. Long story short, the end result was that the lower-middle-class (but importantly, not *upper* middle) used speech patterns remarkably similar to the upper class, a phenomena called “cross-over patterning” as a result of “linguistic insecurity”. In less academic terms: the lower-middle-class are terrified of being mistaken for poors, so they do everything possible to align themselves with richers (whereas the upper-middle-class is pretty happy where they are, apparently). It seems applicable here, no?

  71. nickknack

    So let’s see: a bunch of at-risk unemployeds congregate in the desert to rail against a government that’s making every effort to get them health care and jobs (and succeeding despite a tsunami of misrepresentation), and this spells a Republican sweep in November?

    Lindsey Graham: Democrats were only interested in passing health care for political advantage.

    –And Republican obstruction aimed at orchestrating a Democratic “Waterloo” represents the height of bipartisan statesmanship.

    Sure, now I get it.

  72. chascates

    [re=542880]Mad Brahms[/re]: The middle class (all lower I’d say) people in my little hometown stopped buying Cadillacs & Lincolns when the well-paid oil field workers started buying them.

    They used to complain about ‘all those meskins’ moving to town but now the Hispanics have intermarried, become what little professionals there are now, and are the only good athletes and scholars in the schools.

  73. imissopus

    [re=542869]Sleeves[/re]: It was to be announced at the Party Congress on Monday. As you know, the Premier loves surprises.

  74. Katydid

    [re=542850]St.SarahOfThePO[/re]: Sadly, she wouldn’t understand what it means. She thought Obama was a representative in 2008, not a Senator. She just wants something to do, the recognition, the flattery. She’s bored, she’s frustrated, and all of a sudden she feels needed, she feels important. She’s clueless. She said she was glad the teabaggers weren’t political. She sees the baggers as a coming together of people, instead of one of the most, if not the most, divisive groups in American history.

    And when I hear baggers like her husband mutter vague references to how values were better in the olden days….I can’t help it, I immediately see a racist. No, American values were *not* better 50 years ago. At the very least, he doesn’t give a fuck about people who suffered under worse racism than today, because it didn’t affect him.

    God forbid she channeled any of her frustrations toward helping anyone besides the truly evil Dick Armey. I really hope he gets a painful, protracted, fatal disease. He’s an evil, lying, vile sack of shit for deliberately using these people like cannon fodder while he makes millions off their ignorance. Ah. I gotta stop, I’m getting a little crazy here.

  75. Joshua Norton

    Lindsey Graham: Democrats were only interested in passing health care for political advantage.

    I heard a Log Cabinette gay repug say the same thing about gay rights. They claimed the Dems were doing it just for political advantage. Which makes absolutely no sense to me as a reason. How do they justify that their own side wants to hurt them for their political advantage.

  76. Servo

    [re=542882]nickknack[/re]:
    As if any of these jackasses would ever vote for a Democrat under any circumstances.

  77. Katydid

    [re=542887]Joshua Norton[/re]: Hurts so good? In the interest of equality, there are dumb gays too, evidently.

    In any case, would it really matter why the Dems want to pass health reform, if it helps people? “I’ll only accept your goddammed health care if you really love me for me, Obama! Otherwise, take this reform and shove it!” You’re right, makes no fucking sense. Did you think it would?

  78. imissopus

    [re=542887]Joshua Norton[/re]: Of course they are doing it for pure political advantage, but there are worse end results than affordable health care and civil rights. And even then they have to keep hearing about how they will now be swept out of office in November.

    That quote from Graham begs the question: what legislation would the GOP like to push for purely selfless and big-hearted reasons, without caring about the political advantages?

  79. ladymacbeth

    [re=542859]slavojzizek[/re]: yeah and it’s the middle classes that have produced the best revolutions. peasants are usually too worried about oh, i don’t know, food, rent, root stew, dirt floors, to fret about tyranny and overthrowing the oppressor.

    not that i’m concerned about america or anything.

  80. oldguy

    [re=542850]St.SarahOfThePO[/re]: I would really like to find a copy of Bellamy’s “Jesus the Socialist” to distribute with copies of the Pledge…

    And hello all you RadioLabHeads. Ain’t public radio great?

  81. Red Zeppelin

    [re=542864]betterDeadThanRed[/re]: Yeah, sorry, I was overwrought, or something. I also have great admiration for boomers’ fight for civil rights, etc. Sometimes I just need to vent, though.

  82. Katydid

    [re=542894]oldguy[/re]: OK, I’m leaving for all your sakes, but do NOT get me started on the pledge. I beg of you.


  83. Post author
    Ken Layne

    [re=542875]steve[/re]: We have noted the dignity of your town’s toilet makers. (And we know you meant “heroin” not “heroine.”)

    Frankly, “toilet factory” was not a very good comical example, because a toilet is something every building needs (except in the South) and something I’d rather buy from an American factory. But it is Too Late to change the post now.

    ALSO: Is there some kind of banning action necessary? You can email us at tips@wonk if you don’t want to Make a Scene here. Everybody has Days of Lameness, including you and especially including me, so unless somebody’s being extra-awful even for Wonkette, let’s not be all pitchfork & mobby.


  84. Post author
    Ken Layne

    [re=542897]Katydid[/re]: Somebody sent us a Mysterious email about a topical “site that Katydid did” but there was no link. Will you tell me what This Is About?

  85. Aurelio

    [re=542886]Katydid[/re]:
    the truly evil Dick Armey….I really hope he gets a painful, protracted, fatal disease. He’s an evil, lying, vile sack of shit….

    But how does Katy feel about Dick Armey?

  86. Hooray For Anything

    [re=542818]chowkster[/re]:Liberals don’t bring folding chairs to rallies– they bring yoga mats.

    I think a lot of the Baggers realize that they’re living on the dole but are okay with because they see it as that they worked hard, they paid enough in taxes, and so deserve it. They just don’t like the idea that somebody who doesn’t deserve it as much they do– like, say, some father with two kids who gets laid, loses insurance, and discovers his daughter has cancer– gets government funding. Fuck that guy– what did he ever do to deserve their money?

  87. Rajul

    I refuse to believe this article is real. No one could possibly be this fucking contemptibly stupid and parasitic. The Onion must have put this on the NY Times site, somehow. It’s a satire, a metaphor for how men lose their jobs and go home and beat the shit out of their wives because destroying other people makes them feel better.

  88. Red Zeppelin

    [re=542909]Rajul[/re]: Hey, buddy, post-9/11, death of irony and all that. Also death of any sort of reasonable political discourse. I hate everyone!

  89. llibra

    [re=542906]Aurelio[/re]: Thanks for the link. If anyone wonders why the teabaggers are spending time with like-minded idiots muddling the public discourse, you’ve provided the answer. It’s the money, honey, and the attention. Makes for an exciting outing.

  90. sati demise

    [re=542908]chascates[/re]: we all knew Dick Armey was a terrorist, we did not know he was a global terrorist…….hmmm
    More profit!

  91. SayItWithWookies

    [re=542890]imissopus[/re]: Another side of that same coin: If reforming healthcare was such an obviously politically advantageous move, why the hell didn’t you guys do it? Or, for that matter, why is it that when the Democrats are blatantly political it helps most people, whereas when the GOP is leading and acting on principle, it only helps their rich asshole friends? And then I’d also be like, you must be kidding me with this three-sided coin.

  92. sati demise

    [re=542898]Ken Layne[/re]: but he said ‘toilet builders’ which made me think of builders guilds and the fine tradition of joinery.

  93. Katydid

    [re=542899]Ken Layne[/re]: This is the only thing I can think of, I posted it last night:

    http://www.onlinetaxrevolt.com/

    It’s the stupidest thing the baggers have thought of yet. A tax revolt on April 15, one where you don’t have to haul your fat ass out of the chair. Go look, but drink heavily before, during and after. See if you can find Our Wonkette’s avatars on the map. I’ll bet you can.

  94. Katydid

    [re=542911]Radiotherapy[/re]: Thanks, you’re sweet. I was just leaving because I didn’t want to harsh anyone’s mellow with my ranting. I can’t stand to see people used, even dumb teabaggers. Dick Armey’s smarmy fat face gets my Irish up, and I’m not even Irish. Good thing, too.

  95. I Heart Accuracy

    [re=542886]Katydid[/re]: I agree she needs something to do. In the NV video, every time the cowbell goes off, she has a fame-gasm.

    It doesn’t even matter to her what she has to say. She’ll just read it and wait, drooling, for the applause.

  96. Katydid

    I just realized, they only show the first name, so HeywoodJablowme from Woodbridge, CT, one of the dickiest zip codes in CT (not mine) reporting from Team Thayrone’s Fair Tax WOLVERINES!!!!!

  97. Dean Booth

    [re=542905]Hooray For Anything[/re]: That father has a rough life, but at least he got laid.

  98. Katydid

    I just realized that the online jackass tax march only shows the first name and the town when you click “View the March,” so HeywoodJablowme from Woodbridge, CT, (one of the douchiest towns in CT) reporting for duty, of Thayrone’s Fair Tax WOLVERINES!!!

    It also shows the Last 10 in the March on the right side, so HeywoodJablowme from Woodbridge CT is on the top. Hee hee, I’m getting way too much of a kick out of this. And I stole Heywood Jablowme from Wonkette, too. Mike Hunt up next.

    So everyone who signed up with first name, last name has to do it again. People! This is important.

    I’m going back in. (Which I also stole from My Wonkette.)

  99. imissopus

    [re=542908]chascates[/re]: Well sure, if it’s an Iranian opposition group. The enemy of my enemy, etc. You can’t expect a piece of human excrement like Dick Armey to be ideologically consistent.

    [re=542914]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Those conversations are the ones that make me want to pound my forehead against the wall.

  100. Katydid

    Oh, God, I shouldn’t have had that coffee two hours ago. Here’s a list of funny town names for your posting pleasure, including Podunk, CT, Humptulips, WA, Frog Suck, WY, and Weiner AND Toad Suck, AK. You’ll have to find the zips yourself. What am I, your mother?

  101. ordinaryperson

    Oookay, now we realize — thanks to excellent journamalism! — that these people don’t hate government handouts (in fact, they *love* them!). So strip that away and what’s left?

    America’s three favorite pastimes:
    1) Racism
    2) Celebrity worship (Palin, Reagan, whoever…)

    Oh and they also quite enjoy being manipulated by Dick Armey.

  102. El Pinche

    [re=542918]Katydid[/re]: I see that Barry is starting to take this Teabagger jihad thing seriously and busting up some Michigan militias. Maybe this online tax revolt site is really a commie trap for all those un-American, no-tax-paying lazy assholes. Then they’ll be forced to pick a prison team…of course, their choice is a no-brainer: Aryans.

  103. Katydid

    [re=542925]Katydid[/re]: Who’s our resident Wonkette Historian? What’s the deal with WOLVERINES!!! and Wonkette anyway?

  104. llibra

    [re=542925]Katydid[/re]: Humptulips is not far from Dosewallips on the Olympic Peninsula. Rabbit Hash, Kentucky, is a favorite of mine.

  105. Katydid

    [re=542927]El Pinche[/re]: This can’t be good. “Lackomar called the Hutaree a “religious militant group” with about a dozen members, who scattered as news of the raids spread over the weekend.”

    +religious + militant + group = big fucking trouble

    “Preparing for the end time battles to keep the testimony of Jesus Christ alive”

    How’s that supposed to work now?

    http://www.hutaree.com. Look now, because it’ll probably be gone in the morning.

  106. Radiotherapy

    [re=542928]Katydid[/re]: Someone last night was ripping that last 10 list. Hence, my deep gratitude. It was late last night, but I’m sure people will have fun tonite. I tried to get Mike Hawk in, but it won’t let me.
    Isn’t wolverines from that Red Dawn movie?

  107. imissopus

    [re=542931]Radiotherapy[/re]: Correct. That was the resistance group of teenage guerillas fighting the Soviets.

    The day Patrick Swayze died, there were many cries of WOLVERINES here on Wonkette. Neilist still pulls it out from time to time.

    One could also consider it ironic in the sense that the teabaggers seem to see themselves as some sort of resistance to communist occupation…what the rest of us call “the legal election of a moderate centrist president.”

  108. Mad Brahms

    Addenum: Assuming any of them put their money where their mouth is and actually revolt rather than just sending an avatar, which they probably won’t; the first to the barricades will be disillusioned middle-class folk who will be stomped on, probably.

  109. Sparky McGruff

    [re=542918]Katydid[/re]: I’m sure that it’s going to be a very useful mailing list. The online tax revolt is going to be a smashing demonstration of the power of the teabaggers. Right now, the “most recent” additions are:

    Tit Grabber, Pahrump, NV
    Don, Roanoke, VA
    RedSphincter, Las Vegas, NV
    Dick Sucker, Gallipolis Ferry, OH
    Purge Me, Please, Topeka, KS
    Ass Rammer, Carrboro, NC

    I can’t wait until Ass Rammer and RedSphincter join hands on the virtual capitol mall!

  110. Surfeit O'Hubris

    [re=542926]ordinaryperson[/re]: I’m sure I’m not the first to make this observation, but if we ever get tired of calling the teabaggers “teabaggers”, calling them the “Dick Army” should cover things pretty well.

  111. Katydid

    [re=542942]Sparky McGruff[/re]: What’s the new socially acceptable way to indicate “LOL?” Because I did, a lot.

    I think we’re off to a fine start.

  112. Radiotherapy

    [re=542930]Katydid[/re]: See Katy, what an act of true guerilla resistance, just by linking to that assknuckle website. If those lame avatars weren’t enough, now they have to contend with a surnamey, a red tide of Harry Areolas.
    Yugo Grill!

  113. Jukesgrrl

    [re=542791]Ken Layne[/re]: Re: Problem Child. Geez. I get a life for ONE DAY and I miss all the fun.

  114. SayItWithWookies

    [re=542939]El Pinche[/re]: Oh, sure — he flies off to Afghanistan unannounced and is welcomed by teeming thousands of unquestionably patriotic, camo-wearing military, most of whom he personally sent to that hellhole. What kind of reaction do you expect aside from unbridled adulation?
    You know, the military is a captive audience and the C-in-C can always get a warm welcome there — it’s not like he’s done anything recently to merit any kind of hoopla. Besides, of course, reversing the course of the war, putting al-Qaida on the run, bringing the Taleban to the negotiating table and getting the Pakistani government and military to play ball instead of just give us lip service.
    But aside from that it’s not like he’s done anything. Except for give us universal, guaranteed healthcare, save $60 billion in school loans by cutting out the middleman, make fifteen recess appointments and sign a nuclear arms reduction treaty with Russia. This week.

  115. Katydid

    [re=542945]Radiotherapy[/re]: That’s a good one! My best one was just the AssMaster2000, which I somehow think I got from Margaret Cho, although I can’t imagine why. She’s like that, though.

  116. Katydid

    [re=542945]Radiotherapy[/re]: What I really want to know is, what do the Teabaggers such as Marylou, from Shelton, WA, and Jan, from Columbus, OH, think about our entries? And why do I think that’s so damned funny? And which one of us is sicker, in real life? And do I care? No, not really.

  117. NYNYNY

    The founding fathers didn’t have health care. They probably felt they were lucky if they lived near a pond that have leeches and a wizard. Ans if they knew about health care they would be like “forsooth yah motherfucker, let the fuckin poor man have some of that bitch, please. Damn.”

  118. Bearbloke

    ATTENTION TEA PARTY PATRIOTS!

    YOUR PATH TO LIBERTY IS HERE AT LAST – JOIN YOUR FELLOW DEFENDERS OF THE CONSTITUTION!! GET ON THE DEATH PANEL EXPRESSFREEDOM BUS HEADED FOR REAL AMERICA – WE’LL BILL SOCIAL SECURITY FOR IT AND YOU’RE IN!! – BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT!!

  119. Radiotherapy

    [re=542948]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I just happened to catch a snippet of the C-in-C speaking today and I do believe he put a submarine into the Snowgrifter’s bow. The first time I have ever heard him be critical of the Wasillabilly. Maybe subliminal, but I heard him say we aren’t quitters. And we don’t quit. Hmmmm….

  120. NYNYNY

    [re=542950]Katydid[/re]: Helloe Katydid: long time fan, first time caller. Don’t know if anyone answered your question about Wolverins, per se. It is in reference to the movie Red Dawn. Huge influence on me personally. Fuckin Thrill ride.

  121. Radiotherapy

    [re=542950]Katydid[/re]: Unequivocally, I have always thought we have humour on our side. All you get from them is serious as an ankle sprain and maybe some Schadenfreude. So laugh until it hurts.

  122. El Pinche

    [re=542942]Sparky McGruff[/re]: Don’t forget Anal Leakage, TX (home of Menocu ButtPlugs ! Go USA USA!!)

  123. Katydid

    [re=542954]NYNYNY[/re]: Right backatcha, a person from a town so nice you used it thrice!

    Never saw Red Dawn, but sounds like I should. Only thing is, I can’t take a lot of violence. Is it thrilling, or killing I’ll see?

  124. El Pinche

    [re=542948]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Yeah, but where’s his birf certificit ???
    Nice recap, BTW. I wish our news orgs could do the same.

  125. Jukesgrrl

    [re=542889]Katydid[/re]: The online march is a blast. I created an e-mail address for Dick Small and I gave him the zipcode 17506 (Blue Ball, PA). I signed him up with the tri-cornered hat avatar for “Joe the Plumber’s Tea Party.”

    When I had to give clue answers for my new e-mail box (God only knows what will go in there!), I chose “Who is your favorite uncle?” Uncle Sam! And “Who is your favorite author?” Sarah Palin!

    Dick from Blue Ball is now marchin’!

    (Do you think they PAID Joe Whoosedick for the use of his name?)

  126. Jukesgrrl

    [re=542949]Katydid[/re]: I clicked on some avatars and I found Assmaster2000. Nimrod, MN — ha!

  127. stew

    Inbreeding often leads to mental defects that reduce one’s ability to stock shelves at Walmart.

  128. Katydid

    [re=542961]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Somebody put ZombieReagan in Anaconda, MT. It’s easy to spot, there are about only 3 from MT. But I see now there are 3 ugly names in there, and I doubt they’re from us. This is apparently the Teabaggers’ version of getting back at us. Typical.

  129. Katydid

    [re=542962]stew[/re]: See, this is why miscegenation is a good thing; mutts are smarter and healthier. Speaking of which, I just read that the asshole judge in LA who refused to marry the black man and white woman resigned in November. I read a column by an even bigger asshole, John Derbyshire, two links removed from a story about Christopher Hitchens’ boyish sexual encounters with other boys in boarding school (no homo!) on Gawker. Anyone got some spare brain bleach? Not about the sex, about the pics of Hitch showering.

    Derbyshire wrote all that you’d expect, and then some. He wrote an even worse column slamming “East Asian Men,” which he thinks he’s entitled to do because he’s married to a Chinese woman. He’s one of the few people who make me think we really need to close our borders against the British immigrant hordes. Andrew Sullivan is another, and maybe even Hitch. Why don’t they stay home and get a job with the BBC and eat crumpets all freaking day?

  130. Katydid

    [re=542960]Jukesgrrl[/re]: I thought he quit them. Did he finally realize he isn’t really a plumber, or named Joe?

  131. GeliaNelsey

    Need a job? With new Obama Health Care Plan, we are going to insure additional 33 Million people. There is going to be huge demand for Medical Assistants, Medical Billing, Medical Coding, Pharmacy Assistant & Pharmacy Technician across the nation. We can help you get a training during weekends and evenings and get a degree in few months. With the degree finding a job will be easy, contact for more information at http://bit.ly/9eV3nr this is your chance

  132. SayItWithWookies

    [re=542953]Radiotherapy[/re]: I don’t see how Palin could take it personally — she claims not to be a quitter as well, so he couldn’t possibly be zinging her.

    [re=542959]El Pinche[/re]: Once again he’s trying to distract us with baubles so that we forget the serious issues. Like how he’s going to ban fishing — so if Opie and Uncle Andy want to bond, they’ll have to play frisbee and jam on renaissance instruments like common hippies (shudder). I WANT MY COUNTRY BACK!

  133. SayItWithWookies

    [re=542963]Katydid[/re]: Since you mentioned earlier that the map only displays first names, I signed up as FiscalConservativeForTaxes Smith. Not that it’ll ever stand out in that mess of a map, but it’s funny anyway.

  134. Jukesgrrl

    [re=542965]Katydid[/re]: I just signed up Dagny Taggart from Galt, KS, for the Reagan Tax Revolt Team, but unfortunately, the zip from tiny Galt is the same as Little River, so that’s what the system input. I gave Dagny the only avatar with a vee-neckline, so she’d be seductive.

    I noticed newly joined on the list: ViagraRushLimbaugh, Chicago, IL. I’ll bet they take this down tomorrow.

  135. Bearbloke

    [re=542964]Katydid[/re]: Just as long as you don’t send those bloody Pom prats (Derbyshire, Sullivan, etc) down here, I’ll endorse whatever brutal measures you see fit against them…

  136. Bearbloke

    [re=542967]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Wouldn’t Opie and Uncle Andy bond via incest and shared shame, like the Southern Teabagger ideal they represent?

  137. Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=542963]Katydid[/re]: Uncle Sam’s Vatican Van from Bird in Hand, PA here.

  138. Jukesgrrl

    [re=542973]Bearbloke[/re]: [re=542969]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Hmmm, what happens down by the river STAYS down by the river. And wouldn’t Floyd the Barber, as a self-employed community leader, be a Paultard by now?

  139. Bearbloke

    [re=542975]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Only if Floyd can find time away from meth-manufacturing, that is…

  140. Herman the German

    Teabaggery is only another confirmation of an old human experience:
    Most people like to kiss the foot that kicks them.

  141. iwillsavethispatient

    [re=542963]Katydid[/re][re=542969]SayItWithWookies[/re]: FiftyPercentTaxForHighEarners from Seattle, WA joins your crusade.

  142. iwillsavethispatient

    [re=542832]SayItWithWookies[/re]: It is a fact that “John Galt was right” bumper stickers are only ever seen on crappy cars.

  143. bago

    [re=542980]bago[/re]: I know it’s 3 am on the west coast and I hopscotch off to work in the next 4 hours, but please byte-boundary-jesus (supply-side jesus was trademarked), may someone get that joke!

  144. HedonismBot

    [re=542966]GeliaNelsey[/re]: Hi Mr. (or Mrs., or Ms.) Spammer.
    I’m glad so many more people will be able to get insurance and medical care. And I’m glad the new demand will expand our economy and create new jobs. But Lord, our medical system has a big enough bureaucracy as it is.
    Every time I go to a hospital I have to tell six people my birth date withing the first hour of being there. A visit to one doctor can produce bills from six different departments. I don’t begrudge anyone a right to earn a living, but I think we can afford to get rid of a few of the pencil pushers and desk jockeys.
    Oh well, good with the bad, I guess.

  145. HedonismBot

    [re=542985]HedonismBot[/re]: Not to mention, medical costs might go down a bit if we cut down on the overhead.
    I love these late night conversations with myself!

  146. Dolmance

    Well, somebody’s footing the bill for these motherfuckers to run around putting on weight like there’s no tomorrow. The trick is, how can we bring them to their knees without putting the rest of us through the wringer?

  147. x111e7thst

    Initializes 8 bytes of storage?
    Used as a type specifier anywhere a type is legal?
    Help me out here please someone.

  148. Lazy Media

    [re=542781]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: Go back to Russia, commie. U.S. Americans don’t “pay off” their mortgages; they double down on them with refis in order to buy widescreen teevees and trips to Disney World.

  149. Lazy Media

    [re=542804]Sleeves[/re]: What you’ve been told is conventional wisdom, and bullshit. You might get your SS benefits later in life, and at a slightly lower benefit level, but the government is going to default on that any more than the money is going to become worthless. Which the way things are going now could happen, in which case lack of SS benefits will be the least of your worries. Buy gold and ammo!

  150. Katydid

    [re=542989]x111e7thst[/re]: I’m thinking QBasic, which wasn’t 16-bit, but one of its predecessors, QuickBasic or GWBasic may have been, or maybe it’s just an allusion to out-of-date technology. QWord is clever.

  151. comicbookguy

    [re=542921]Katydid[/re]: I think I see a black guy hiding behind the bushes in that protest.

    These people have accomplished one thing. I am now convinced that I don’t want my tax dollars helping people who don’t share my values.

  152. blkblt

    [re=542818]chowkster[/re]: We meet in hip coffee houses where the chairs are provided and we are out of the sun. You know what they say, “Mad dogs and Englishmen…”

  153. Sleeves

    [re=542992]Lazy Media[/re]: I’ve assumed that was a line useful to sell other securities—maybe heard from one of today’s teabaggers and affiliated insecurity groups—as they pay-out their SS checks in further bullshit!

    [re=543051]comicbookguy[/re]: Off-tone and maybe topic, it always depresses me greatly to, say, read an analysis of Japan’s welfare state as requiring a premisory racial homogeneity and then, say, looking-up from such an argument feeling a little convinced.

  154. Botswana Meat Commission FC

    [re=542781]iwillsavethispatient[/re]:

    My guess: It was re-financed or a HELOC was taken out sometime in the last four years.

  155. Snarkalicious

    [re=542873]geminisunmars[/re]: Shit. When the bank forecloses on your 19 year old kid, we’ll be able to afford taking over payments from the bank by renting him the basement for the next 30 years.

  156. Zorg

    That crazy Socialist magazine, Forbes, sent someone to poll Teabaggers at a rally about US income tax rates. Their answers were wildly off the mark. Curiously, taxes are their central shouting point. So, basically, it boils down to Teabaggers being aging white people upset that a colored man is in the White House — and he’s not mixing the cocktails or manuring the rose beds. Can we pass a law allowing people against the Federal government’s entitlement programs to stop receiving Social Security, Medicare, government and military pensions, farm subsidies and the right to drive on the Fellow Traveler-inspired interstate highway system? Huh? Can we?

  157. snoidoid

    [re=542810]Leon999[/re]: The “Greatest Generation” had to fight the war that their parents (who had to fight the First World War before them) got them into, and learned so much they went right on into Korea and Viet Nam. The Boomers, swearing “never again”, went right on into the Mideast after a couple of warmups in Grenada and Panama. Beginning to see a pattern? I don’t hold much hope for Gen X, Y, Z, the Millenials, etc. There’s always too many insecure men compensating for perceived shortcomings, and too many women who don’t pay attention to what those men are doing. Or even encouraging the behavior, because there’s nothing sexier than “bad boys”.

    So quit harping on the Boomers. We aren’t f**king up any worse than any other generation. It just seems like it because there’s more of us. But on a per capita basis …

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