James O’Keefe and his Watergate Jr. friends, including PENIS MONOLOGUES guy and the one Facebook-banging Scott Brown’s daughter, have had their federal charges reduced to a single misdemeanor, for being assholes on Federal property. Smells like a plea bargain! Are they going to rat out their Overlord Andrew Breitbart’s illegal Sugar Caves, or something else? [Court .pdf, TPM]

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  1. Boo no jail time. I was really looking forward to seeing Jamie-boy shipped off to the nearest pound-me-in-the-ass prison. Que sera sera.

  2. I have a law degree from Liberty U., so I have every reason to believe my assessment that these 4 are victims of ACORN’s and Obama’s Chicago Alinsky unrepentant thug laws against whitey is true.

  3. “Smells like a plea bargain! Are they going to rat out their Overlord Andrew Breitbart’s illegal Sugar Caves, or something else?”

    I don’t think so. This smells more like, “Flanagan’s daddy has friends in the AG’s office and got them all off with misdemeanor charges.”

    But I hope I’m wrong and you’re right. A plea bargain to get someone higher up on the Fox Party food chain would be much more satisfying.


  4. With just a misdemeanor, these guys will still be able to vote; boo, I say.

    Besides, shouldn’t tough, principled, courageous conservatives have stood by their actions in court? Why, you’d almost think these bullies were really wimps once faced with real consequences.

  5. Can I just say the fawning adulation Brietbart recently received in, of all places, WIRED magazine, made me seriously reconsider my subscription. I would cancel it entirely, except for the “Japanese Schoolgirl Watch” column. Seriously, I really would.

  6. “This is the true story of four wingers, picked to live in a cell, shower together and have their cavaties searched, to find out what happens when property stops being polite, and starts getting real…”

  7. [re=541999]JGabriel[/re]: I wouldn’t give them so much credit for being organized. These people couldn’t find their own teabag with both hands.

  8. [re=541990]Jukesgrrl[/re]: DOJ only likes to facilitate the waterboarding of Brown People. Whites give up too easy, not enough of a challenge.

    White person crime = misdemeanor
    Brown Person crime = Terrorism!

    Is that so hard to understand?

  9. If I were a former employee of an ACORN office I would be launching my sue-the-living-shit-out-of-these-rich-crackers suit about right now.

  10. Look at the bright (breit?) side: less chance for the four mouseketeers to play the martyr (going to jail made the careers of Chuck Colson and G. Gordon Liddy), no vomit-inducing legal defense funds springing up.

  11. But how can O’Keefe know what it is like to be a real pimp daddy if he doesn’t get some street cred by being ass raped in prison?

  12. If convicted, Flanagan, Basel, O’Keefe, and Dai each face a maximum term of six (6) months in prison and a fine of $5,000.

    Okay, I’m cool with that — the odds that O’Keefe is going to violate his parole are so great that if he doesn’t end up in jail this time, it’s worth letting him have another shot.

  13. Breaking into a Senator’s office to mess with her phones, that’s so January 2010. These days you gotta threaten her children or cut her gas line if you want some street cred.

  14. The Watergate kids will get free healthcare and legitamate prostate tests in prison, not those fake O’Reilly hand puppet, FOX jobs he practiced on Hannity.

  15. Seriously, what did you expect? Robert Flanagan’s father, William J. Flanagan, is the acting U.S. Attorney for the Western District of Louisiana.

    Did anyone seriously expect that the U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of the state was going to put the son of the acting U.S. Attorney for the Western District in jail?

  16. Six months (that they’ll probably never have to serve)? For fucking with the phone sysytem of someone on the DHS Committee?

    Good thing they weren’t doing something REALLY HEAVY like growing pot in their garage, eh?

  17. [re=542004]JMP[/re]: No, no, no. Personal Responsibility only counts when you’re using it as an explanation for why it’s good to fuck over the poors, not when it comes to personally taking responsibility for you own actions.

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