Wonkette zombie sex operative “Karen N.” of Iowa City, Iowa, sends us this filthy picture she took yesterday — “Sorry for sending you this eye candy a little late. We were drinking.” — during Obama’s “We passed health care but here’s a rally anyway” thing. This fellow wants to know what Obama did with his autonomy. Don’t worry, friend! Flip your poster back to the side with the shrooms. That’s where your autonomy is.
FUNNY PICTURES
March 26, 2010
Tripping Death Monster Asks Vague Question, In Iowa
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Black lights are reverse ray-cists.
I wonder if he’s related to the fat, white poor they profiled today in Fred Hiatt’s Fish Wrapper?
OK, I’ve had enough. Time to go ride my bike to get in shape for the coming teapocalypse.
A black light poster repurposed as a DEMONCRAP-SLAYING PROTEST SIGN AGAINST TYRANNY, combined with a face from a popular children’s video game and the majick word FUCK?
This HCR shit will be repealed any time now. Yep. Any time.
Has he tried retracing his steps yet, and thoroughly searching the last place he remembers having it? Look under the cushions, too; his autonomy could easily have fallen out of his pocket.
Kratos is gonna tear somebody’s head off if’n he doesn’t get his trucknutz!
It’s been a while since biology class, but I believe the autonomy is tucked up in there next to the pancreas.
Kratos demanding autonomy? Anyone that has played the God Of War series knows that Kratos is just a pawn of the Titans.
Moran.
You traded it in for your lead-laden maskypoo from China.
Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Do you really think you should be making even the smallest of decisions?
I don’t know, when was the last time you saw it?!
I thought the death squads WERE autonomous. You’d think he’d know that.
Sometimes when I run into tards like this I like to sing for them
“It’s the end of the world as you know it
and I feel fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine”
Off to wiki to find out if I’m supposed to have an Autonomy.
Baron Samedi lives in Iowa? WTF?
http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/081110/baron-samedi_l.jpg
When you were dumb and USA was mostly white
You used to say live and let live
(you know you did, you know you did you know you did)
But in this ever socialist world in which we live in
Obama’s wins and now
It’s live and let die
Live and let die
Live and let die
Live and let die
Kant said that autonomy gives persons a dignity beyond price. From the picture, you can see what will happen to you if you lose it. You turn in to some kinda…WTF is that?
I think this guy served me a vegan reuben sandwich at the Iowa City Food Co-Op a few summers back. Even dirty hippies can “go Rand.”
Is this really about HCR? Maybe he’s just asking. Probably didn’t get much of a response out of people before trying the Nosferatu approach.
There’s nothing halfway
About the Iowa way to treat you
When we treat you
Which we may not do at all.
There’s an Iowa kind of special
Chip-on-the-shoulder attitude
We’ve never been without
That we recall.
We can be cold a falling
Thermometer in December
If you ask about our weather in July
And we’re so By-God stubborn
We can stand touchin’ noses
For a week at a time
And never see eye-to-eye…
[re=541849]x111e7thst[/re]: [re=541851]ManchuCandidate[/re]: WHERE THE FUCK IS MY AUTOTUNE?!
Those spotted ‘scrums look like maybe amanita pantherina. Zombie bagger you’ll have more fun with galerina marginata. Those tasty LBMs look like liberty cap magic mushrooms, but are much more tasty.
Dude, this is just his final project for Prof. McQuibbley’s totally rockin’ poli sci class: the assignment was to restate in your own words “Man is born free; and everywhere he is in chains. One thinks himself the master of others, and still remains a greater slave than they. How did this change come about?”
Or else he means “Where’s my anatomy?”
Autonomy. Isn’t that one of them there asian cars?
Crayon, man, fucking crayon. Oy fucking vey. Has this much stupid ever been so proudly displayed?
Oh, I know, this really isn’t that unusual an event, this is nothing next to the response to desegregation and the Civil Rights Act, but like, even if it was evil and racist, you could see they had a logical, reality based reason for going insane then, the darkies were getting in their skoolz, laying the 10-inch pipe to their wimminz.
But this time, its, uh, health insurance?
Oh, damn, thats right, this is for the same reason as back when, this time a darkie is in their white-haus, stealing their autonomyu.
Anton LaVey?
Go east down the street, turn left, go past the fountain, then take the stairs to the center of the earth.
Hm. Isn’t Slipknot from Iowa?
weird place.
[re=541853]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Ah, it’s true. There’s a particular strand of hippie-dom that caught on in the U.S. which champions individualism and “self-actualization” above all else, and of course there’s the distrust of authority, be it governmental or scientific. And for all the hippie hate of organized religion, the protestant work ethic made a surprisingly good template for the New Age movement.
…anyway, though, has anyone bothered to ask these teaheads exactly *what* autonomy they’ve lost? Saying it over and over doesn’t make it true, and I am hard pressed to see how anything in the current health care package (or any of Obama’s other plans) relates to individual autonomy in the least.
It could be Halloween and Autonomy is a new Korean Candy.
1. Repurposed blacklight magic-mushroom poster
2. Borrowed crayons from little sister
3. Wore video game character mask
I know its a cliche, but this guy literally lives in his mother’s basement. Right?
Why does the sign/killer dorm-room accessory appear to have damp stains on it?
Sorry, I read that as “Where the fuck is my dignity?!”
Craig Ferguson said something about ‘Robot Zombie Skeleton Army’ with ‘Flaming Skulls’the other night….I think we’ve just spotted one.
Sorry sir, I’m all out of autonomies but I’ve still got some lobotomies left.
Look at yourself, man. Do you think anyone wants anything to do with touching any part of you? I’d say your autonomy is safe and fucking sound, you blasphemous, anthropomorphic Grateful Dead bumper sticker.
Perhaps it was lost in the lobotomy or is with those misplaced capital U letters. Freedom Misspellings would have brought his art to a higher level, so I deem him a FAIL.
[re=541877]Edsdesk[/re]: And he’s looking for the hollowed-out volcano Miantoname.
You still have free will, buddy. So I don’t know where the fuck your autonomy went.
[re=541868]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Yes they are, but we’ve disowned them. With the weather we have here, we tend to lean more toward the Norwegian Death Metal scene. Or polka music.
Man, but Tammy Faye Bakker really has let her looks go. Bless her heart.
God of Wank.
[re=541859]weejee[/re]: Hmmm. Yes. And maybe his head is painted up to resemble an over ripe Lycoperdon esculentum.
αὐτονοµία…I feel like Mother Nature. “Good lords, how red my fucking blush!”
If you’ve lost your autonomy, just hang out for a few hours until everyone else has left the parking lot — it’ll be the last one sitting there.
[re=541891]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: his autonomy went straight into the maws of faux news.
[re=541869]Mad Brahms[/re]: New Age-ism is basically neoliberal religion. You signal your convictions in terms of brand preference. You accumulate spiritual capital, which is fungible into regular old capital when you’re able to demonstrate advanced mental states in the workplace, or you’re cool under pressure or whatever. Salesmen walking on coals in the 80s. That shit didn’t die. Sorry y’all for posting this link again, but…
http://www.integralworld.net/augustine7.html
[re=541894]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: So that’s where she’s been since she “died”: become a zombie with Tourettes.
Surely, in Iowa, it is illegal to fuck your autonomy.
Is this a Lizard Person or a Flying Spaghetti Monster?
He’s got the most delicate little fingers. Bet he’s a piano player.
What he doesn’t understand is that free will is just an illusion, as our consciousness is nothing more than the combination of electrochemical reactions in our brains. These all function according to the laws of physics, and one could, in principle, determine an individual’s exact future thoughts if one know the exact structure of each particle which make their brain.
Someone should tell this man that he does not have autonomy because he never had it to lose in the first place.
As with everything else, one’s autonomy can be found on the yootoobz.
These ‘baggers deserve a good swift kick in their autonomy…
i’ll wager it’s right where he left it. he needs to go back and try to remember what he was doing when he last saw it. it’ll probably be somewhere nearby. he might start with whatever room he was in when he put on that ridiculous mask. and he should pay better attention next time. doesn’t need to be wasting his time misplacing his autonomy while he’s making a fool out of himself. there are only so many hours in a day.
[re=541864]Ruhe[/re]: Marvelous call.
[re=541918]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: In Iowa, your autonomy FUCKS YOU.
Ming the Merciless LOOKS LIKE SHIT
Autonomy = Autonomous + Anatomy = Dick
[re=541881]widestanceromancer[/re]: [re=541879]Sharkey[/re]: Whoa. (Twice in one thread even.) I’m not as creative as I think I am.
[re=541951]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: Outclassed.
Once I couldn’t find my autonomy and I looked and looked and couldn’t find it anywhere, and so I gave up and slumped into a high backed chair, which knocked something off the top of my head and into my lap, and there it was, my autonomy. It had been on the top of my head the whole time. I felt so stupid.
Wow that’s the angriest Allman Bros. fan I’ve ever seen!
Put that poster back up on the wall, turn on Eat a Peach and crack a beer. Chill out!
[re=541879]Sharkey[/re]: [re=541881]widestanceromancer[/re]: Judging from that rather nasty scar, I think he’s already had one.
He has nice enough fingers. I suspect he’s difficult when efficiently pressed.
[re=541964]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: You can never have too many.
Mommy?? Is that you?
[re=541972]Sleeves[/re]: Is that a man? Those look like lady fingers to me. So to speak.
[re=541879]Sharkey[/re]: [re=541881]widestanceromancer[/re]: [re=541964]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: I’d rather have a poster in front of me than a fronter imposter me.
[re=541859]weejee[/re]: Aren’t Galerina death mushrooms or do they just make you shit yourself a lot?
At any rate, myco-nerdery FTW.
Respect… mah… AUTONOMAAAAAAY!
/Eric Cartman
His fingers are creepy.
[re=541929]JMP[/re]: “Someone should tell this man that he does not have autonomy because he never had it to lose in the first place.”
–
However, if we *did* try to explain the first part of your post to him, it would be amusing to see him titter, wobble and then spontaneously combust on the spot. I doubt his brain could parse phrases such as “laws of physics” and “the future”.
Be sure to bring an umbrella.
Dude, you’re wearing your autonomy. Living in a Housing Project, making angry pink and yellow signs. No one’s messing with you.
He’s like a God of War III booth babe at the world’s most inexpensively-put-together video-game convention.
Where the fuck is my Oxycontin?!
Haven’t been here in quite a while. What a sad little piece of carp moronic left-wing hissy-fit pee-in-pants-and-mouth dirty little site it’s become. You lefties can all go wrank youselves off now, you hear?
[re=542024]Rush[/re]: Holy cow, u r sew effin FUNNY
[re=541991]Mad Farmer Manifest[/re]: Some of the galerina are quite nasty in the by the time the projectile vomiting starts there is little med-sci can do.
[re=541903]Ducksworthy[/re]: Puffballs aren’t exactly the magic dragon, but if caught early can make tasty treats.
Here’s the thing Kratos. Far be it from me to tell you about your own history, but surely you remember your cameo in Aeschylus’ Prometheus Bound. Yes, there you stood, the terrifying, malevolent and most importantly silent force that stood opposed to Prometheus’ gift of speech to human beings…As Protagoras would later explain (much to Socrates’ chagrin), it was Prometheus’ gift, the move from auto-kratic naked barbaric force to demos-kratic shared power that made human life and society possible. Infuriating, I know. Where is your autonomy? Somewhere between the right to wear silly costumes and the right to actually act as a God of War.
/lecture
[re=542032]EphEwe[/re]: Of all the threads you could have posted your cute little rant on, you chose *this* one???
[re=542032]EphEwe[/re]: Thank Ewe. We love it when you sheep drop by.
Maybe the object of the article is EphEwe’s Mom?
[re=542032]EphEwe[/re]: How does one “wrank” oneself off, pray tell?
[re=542032]EphEwe[/re]: open wide
A fallen deity of violent rage and vengeance using pink and yellow markers has effectively caused my head to asplode.
I don’t think I can finish GOW III now. Asshole.
[re=542032]EphEwe[/re]: Oh, we’ve so missed your interesting comments.
btw, the black-light poster has the words “EAT ME” surrounded by mushrooms.
http://www.hippieshop.com/cgi-bin/gold/item/30023
[re=542068]AlexisHidell[/re]: Today we are all wranking pieces of carp.
When asked what sex with a sheep was like, EphEwe replied: “Not Baaaad!!”
[re=541867]armoredbore[/re]: I opened Mars in Fiction on your account. (Thank you.)
Seriously, Kratos doing a silent sign based protest is about as un-”god of war”-like as you can get.
[re=541984]Gayer Than Thou[/re]: It is a man, my friend…
Once I lost my keys and they were in the cupboard with the dried apricots! I would NEVER have looked there.
I hope that helps.
[re=542193]octupletsmom[/re]: Your autonomy is always in the last place you’d look.
I thought he wiped the last bits of it off this morning and flushed it away. Maybe there are a few dingleberrys left.
Guy Fawkes masks are so 2005-2006, aren’t they? Kratos truly epitomizes the spirit of resistance to gay DEMON-CRAP Marxist Fascist Communist terrorism, because of his “Greek and brutal” characteristics.
i’m guessing his autonomy is fully intact, much like his virginity and his stupidity.
Damn it, take a little initiative. I shouldn’t have to find your autonomy for you, you lazy fuck.
[re=542009]jus_wonderin[/re]: actually, the abrogation of our treaty with his nation was in one of the riders to the Health Care bill: “The US of America no longer recognizes the Independent Republic of Dumbfuckistan.”
He should try to cheer up a bit though as I believe the Vatican still recognizes them.
I don’t know about you guys, but I’d rather have a bottle in front of me, rather than a frontal lombotomy, as this guy apparently had.
brb, wranking off
[re=542253]widget09[/re]: i’d rather have tulis on my organ than a rose on my piano.
i first read ‘anonymity’. that would have been better.
Indeed, dude, indeed.
[re=542032]EphEwe[/re]: Too late!
ARIES!
Give the guy a break, he has the right idea. When is Obama going to get around to legalizing mushrooms? (and all other totally harmless drugs that make people happier?)
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