NEWSPAPER AD: Rachel Maddow Will Not Be New Scott Brown [UPDATE]

Beloved Massachusetts lunch-break fap material Scott Brown was so scared of the fickle, conservativeBoston Heraldkicking him out of Massachusetts -- for not running over to the House last Sunday and stabbing the bill with his... truck?? -- that he sent out a fundraising letter to his constituents, warning them:  the liberal television lesbian Rachel Maddow will be your new senator in the next election if you don't give me all of your money right the fuck now.

Maddow responded on her show the next night, "No, I am not running against the traitor Brown, that was just some shit on Twitter, jesus..." But people kept speculating and giving money to naked Scott Brown, because what if this shifty-eyed lesbian was lying, as her species tends to do? "Sigh," sighed Rachel. "I'd better use my insane wealth to buy a full-page ad in theBostonHerald,Globekeeping them afloat for another year."

Yeah, so that's what you see in the screen-grab up top. Rachel Maddow bought a full-page ad in thedumb(whatever)BostonHeraldGlobe, to prove (with her lies) that she is not going to be the next liberal lesbian Scott Brown of Western Massachusetts. She sent it in all slanty-like, because of art.

So... will she run for Senate against Scott Brown or not?? We'll never get a straight answer. (Would she even be capable of defeating the very formidable Martha Coakley in a primary?)

UPDATE: The ad she bought today was in the Boston GLOBE, not the Herald, which hopefully doesn't change too much of the comedic structure here; it definitely improves the "going broke quickly" jokes, but worsens the... anyway this is an internal monologue, the end.

[ Maddow Blog ]