The people of Columbus, Ohio, were understandably delighted 40 years ago when a small turd mistaken for an aborted fetus actually began to yell in rudimentary English about “communists.” The so-called Columbus Miracle Baby never did anything else of note until last week, when it began yelling and throwing dollar bills at an old man suffering from Parkinson’s Disease.
The now-adult turd, “Chris Reichert of Victorian Village,” bravely wasted many days after the videotaped display of insane rage denying that he had, in fact, heckled and then tossed a few dollar bills at a very sick man who had come out to Congresswoman Mary Jo Kilroy’s district office in support of health insurance reform. But now, it’s time for the Healing to Begin.
Just to refresh your memory:
This angry Teutonic turd, “Reichert,” lied for a while about being the angry Teutonic turd who verbally assaulted 60-year-old Robert A. Letcher, a nuclear engineer who has Parkinson’s Disease. “Reichert” says he has no idea why he did this, or why he denied it, and actually doesn’t even know why he was at the rally. It’s all a mystery!
But after millions of people watched his foul outburst, he is terrified of the Internet, so now he has made a donation (three wadded-up dollar bills?) to some Parkinson’s charity, you know, “that starts the healing process.” He actually said that, to a newspaper reporter. Fucking idiot.
Reichert, a registered Republican, said he is not politically active. He said he heard about the rally on the radio and a neighbor invited him to attend.
“That was my first time at any political rally and I’m never going to another one,” Reichert said. “I will never ever, ever go to another one.”
If only the rest of the teabaggers followed his Brave Example. [Columbus Dispatch via Wonkette Operative "Kevin H."]
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{ 117 comments }
OT but Eric Cantor is a huge douchebag.
He’s going to be cast out of Eden. Scott Brown can keep him company.
“that starts the healing process.”
Translation:
“gets people to stop bothering me”
This is my first time at a wonkette and I will never ever go to another one.
The End. Also.
And stay out of the voting booth while your at it you sack of clown vomit.
[re=540272]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: It is never OT to call Cantor a douchebag, unles it comes out whilst giving or receiving oral pleasure – then it is just creepy.
Today, we are all Teutonic tur….oh shit, never mind.
Actually, “that starts the healing process” was just his setup for a hilarious joke about how Parkinson’s sufferers wobble around. Wocka wocka!
Once again, what the Tea Klux Klan calls “testosterone” is exposed as douchebaggery. A gender fender bender, if you will.
[re=540282]GoinGreen[/re]: +s
[re=540272]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]:
That always needs saying, so thank you.
Fortunately for Herr Reichart, lightly salted bags of poison rat dicks will be covered under HCR.
An agent for Trisomy 21?
Since he’s coming clean, maybe he’ll finally tell the cops in what part of his back yard he buried his mother.
Ah, German. But of course.
[re=540282]GoinGreen[/re]: Just watched him blaming the Dems for making the situation worse because they went public with the threats. He is a huge uncircumcised (I presume) dick.
The government shouldn’t be giving dopamine handouts to lazy basal ganglia.
“Extremism in support of douchebaggery is no vice.”
(Or something like that.)
Why pussy out now, Reichert? Fax some nooses to the Parkinson’s Society or something, then you could probably get an endorsement from Limbaugh and win a seat in Congress.
I thought Republicans were staunchly against the redistribution of wealth.
Know what else starts the healing process? Getting to see a doctor even though you have a pre-existing condition. You fucking clueless jagoff.
And please note that the old fella he was slinging bucks at, as he screamed about “no handouts” and “you gotta work for what you get”. was not the Fantasy Welfare Layabout that all these folks believe 90-100% of Obama supporters are.
Nope. This guy they were treating like some scrofulous wino was actually a retired professor with a PhD in Physics.
[re=540293]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: He’s a Jew, so the uncircumsized part is probably a miss. My hunch is that he uses a dull razor to shave his vagina, that is why he always looks like he has “itchy-crotch”.
He should also donate to a charity dedicated to the elimination of pleats from Dockers.
Rush hates Parkinson’s victims too!
Parkinson’s = Michael J. Fox = Socialist
There is nothing worse than a spastic socialist.
Gee, I can’t imagine why mocking the sick would elicit such a nasty backlash.
wherefore art thou joe the plumber?
Terrible misunderstanding. Reichert was simply “makin’ it rain in the club”, which is a high form of praise.
“That was my first time at any political rally and I’m never going to another one,” Reichert said. “I will never ever, ever go to another one.”
Good. Now get your douchy ass out there and register as a Democrat and volunteer at a homeless shelter.
“But nobody told me you’re not supposed to throw money at cripples; it was my first time at a rally, for chrissakes.”
[re=540306]smitallica[/re]: Dockers without pleats? That’s crazy talk.
I’m very susceptible to people admitting they were wrong and apologizing. Let’s forgive this guy and hope that the rest of his douchebagger friends can see how horrible they are being.
[re=540310]ManchuCandidate[/re]: one less teabagger=win
[re=540279]Terry[/re]: I agree. I don’t think it was his conscience kicking in.
Not to nitpick, but I believe he is correctly labeled a sociopath. Though really, either pathology has a nice ring to it as applied to this abortion survivor.
[re=540279]Terry[/re]: C’mon folks, give Chris a break. He started the healing process. Just like putting a Smurf bandage over a pus-filled, gangrenous sucking chest wound. In doing so, our friend starts the healing process.
Still haven’t had the stomach to sit through the whole thing, but I’ve heard from people who have that this guy is also holding an “I’m AFP” sign? So, in addition to being a fake-contrite douchebag, he’s also a lying fake-contrite douchebag?
Well, I guess fake contrition is still better than *excusing and justifying* the general dickishness of the ‘baggers, like Boner and Nunes like to do.
I love:
video cameras
the fact that phones have video cameras
the internet.
I’ve seen this kind of assholery all my life but now it can be captured digitally and spread all over the gotdamned world immediately so that the asshole in question can receive his due comeuppance. INSTANTLY!
Viva la internet.
These teabag turds think if they just scream “Negro” and “homosexual” while the veins on their foreheads are bulging out they’re not being bigots any more. Reichert thinks he should have sent the money on PayPal.
Lee: Maybe Rush and Reichert can get together for a little “street theater” with Rush playing the role of the Parkinson’s patient and Reichert playing himself, to teach the world all about free enterprise, survival of the fittest, and compassionate conservatism.
Lots of goatees over on the anti side. That seems significant somehow.
[re=540312]Troubledog[/re]: As a veteran judge and true aficionado of the “North Central Texas Brass Pole Olympics”, I can tell you that his technique of ‘makin’ it rain’ was that of a pro. Notice the flipping motion as he threw out the dollas – we call that the “Aces & 8′s” move, cause it is usually followed by someone getting “shot in the head” in the VIP!
Dude, what a dummy! If I were Reichert I would have said that I was just making it rain on the old man. Don’t “the blacks” (e.g., Unions, gays) love that shit?
His 7 dollars will be the ones that cure Parkinson’s!
[re=540294]crookedspin[/re]: +++1!
[re=540309]Lee[/re]: “…than a spastic socialist.” Thank you. For that.
[re=540329]RPolanski[/re]: Rush has had plenty of practice, what with him mocking Michael J. Fox a few years back.
[re=540320]pedestrian rage[/re]:
Not to nitpick, but I believe he is correctly labeled a sociopath. Though really, either pathology has a nice ring to it as applied to this abortion survivor.
“Sociopath” and “psychopath” mean the same thing. The American Psychiatric Association just changed the name in the 1950s because they thought it sounded better. I believe they’ve changed it again, to “antisocial personality disorder,” which doesn’t sound better, either.
Hervey Cleckley, foremost US expert on psycopaths and author of The Mask of Sanity calls them “psychpaths.”
[re=540349]Aurelio[/re]: Actually, Cleckley calls them PSYCHOPATHS. Sorry, Herv.
Reichert’s regret is that he meant to throw Ameros, not dollars.
[re=540293]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Not many Jews down there in Texas, eh, Bulldogette?
[re=540320]pedestrian rage[/re]: The -path less travelled.
I’m wondering how many times he’s used that fake little boy promise for other things:
“That was my first time at any Turkish bath house and I’m never going to another one,” Reichert said. “I will never ever, ever go to another one.”
I can hear the crocodile tears welling up in his eyes.
donating money to sick people is communism.
[re=540317]TheCoolestGuyInTown[/re]: Problem with his apology is he was the only guy there dressed in a crisp white shirt with the telltale sunglasses, with a ready stack of small bills at hand. And a pin proclaiming allegiance with a known astroturf group. Put it all together and I’m guessing he was the teabagger equivalent to the warm-up comic they use at sit-com tapings to rouse the drooling idiots who show up for free, for the honor of having their forced laughter recorded for posterity. If you show up, you get a sandwich coupon. If you show up with a sign, you get a couple bucks “for travel expenses.” If you show up and punch a nun, you get a meeting with Dick Armey. If you show up, blow up a cop car and spray Uzi fire at a daycare center, you get a buttseck.
Yeah, this was his first and last political rally. Uh-huh. Gee, that’s more heartwarming than the story of the virgin nymphette and the busload of lumberjacks.
[re=540281]8-Man[/re]: Well, given that he’s admitted he’s “not politically active,” I think that the whole not-voting thing goes without saying.
[re=540321]user-of-owls[/re]: I was just thumbing through my copy of “Robert’s Rules of the Healing Process”, and this is what it says:
“If a douchebag commits an act of douchebaggery and this act of douchebaggery is caught on film, then the said douchebag must eat a bag of salty dicks for a proscribed time relevent to to the magnitude of the douchebaggery committed. This penalty is increased, (Re: size of bag), until said douchebag owns his actions forthwith. The “Healing Process” shall commence when contents of the bag are fully consumed. Said douchebag has no say in when that process starts other than in his ability to consume the contents of the previously described bag.”
That’s pretty clear.
Why is it that liberals are less likely to be armed? This makes me sad.
I can empathize with Mr. Reichert; I could have easily lost my temper and behaved very badly upon seeing this. I would have been there, too, if I hadn’t been so hungover and sleep-deprived from the previous few days. Probably a good thing that I missed the rally, though, ’cause this story would have had more of a Kenneth Gladney-angle to it.
[re=540378]Mr Blifil[/re]: Pretty much.
[re=540313]freakishlystrong[/re]: Embrace. Extend. Extinguish.
Moron. He’s never been to a rally before, yadayada.
It’s called “mob behavior” for a reason, asshole. Yeah, I’m sure you would have never done this in front of your respectable suburban neighbors. With an angry bunch of jackasses who have no idea what the hell they are even protesting, sure, why not?
You can’t blame the guy. Teabaggers have a hive mentality. It’s just a very stupid hive.
Bzzzzzz duh. Bzzzzzzz duh.
[re=540304]iolanthe[/re]: A professor? No wonder they wanted to kick his wheelchair-bound ass.
[re=540306]smitallica[/re]: I am with you on this, those pants make all men’s bottoms look just downright peculicar, take note Male Wonketeers do not buy Dockers or you will not get any pussy.
[re=540324]mumblyjoe[/re]: I wonder if AFP is one of the organizations circulating the wingnut playbook – which basically says “if you get caught, lie”. We’ve all seen it before with the people who send the watermelon emails saying “I didn’t know it was a racial stereotype” – yeah, right.
I hope someone is able to ferret out the exact connections this guy has with AFP and similar organizations.
Oh my stars! An outrage! What a horrible man! I’m, of course, referring to Ken Layne who had the terrible affrontry to call a guy who is 60 OLD!
[re=540412]chaste everywhere[/re]: They hate the wheelchair-bound academic elite.
“says he has no idea why he did this, or why he denied it, and actually doesn’t even know why he was at the rally.”
The Manchurian Teabagger? Set up by Clintonistas to make the Teabaggers look bad?
[re=540321]user-of-owls[/re]: The difficult healing process cannot truly begin until President Obama invites Riechert and Lechert to join him around a stripper pole in the Rose Garden, DJ BFD drops the needle on “Cherry Pie”, and a glistening, glittery America takes to the tiny stage.
Who the friggin’ flying f*ck cares if Chris Reichert is “healed”? Unless his employer is deeply offended by his recorded-on-video display of heartlessness, and he’s lost his job, he has plenty of insurance for that pre-existing condition.
Let’s consider what help is now possible for Robert A. Letcher that he didn’t have before, and how many months of agony the Republicans caused him and 45,000 others over this last long year of delay, delay, delay.
I hope every legislator who’s put his campaign contributors and his determination to get re-elected ahead of “social justice” is eventually consigned without forgiveness to the 18th level of hell.
[re=540391]Chickensmack[/re]: Hmm…are liberals less likely to keep horses (more likely to buy oxen)? Perhaps we’re not proud of our tractors. (It is absurd to be proud of a fact.)
[re=540312]Troubledog[/re]: Today, we all wanna see that sausage.
I used to live in Victorian Village, JUST 4 YEARS AGO!
I kinda feel for the guy. In times gone by, he would have known he was an asshole. It takes a village to shame an asshole, and phone cameras and the internets have made us a village again.
[re=540391]Chickensmack[/re]:
What are you talking about? Lechter had a fucking cane … and a placard. And those crips can get really mean if provoked.
[re=540452]Extemporanus[/re]: and what would they call this ‘summit’.?
The asshole apologizing summit?
The sick guy gets to kick a douchebag in the nuts summit?
An unprincipled extremist petie bourgiose prick. Go all the way, to hell with the torpedoes, or don’t start at all, moron.
Seems rather like a Mormon who got talked into going to his first nightclub, saw scantily clad females dancing provocatively, rubbing up against guys and wiggling around in excitement, figured he was in a space where all normal societal strictures on innermost urges were suspended, and started just cold grabbing all the boobs and butts he could find, while even his sleazy fratboy buddies edged away, thinking, “Dude, you do not do that”.
Except instead of raw lust, his innermost urge had always been to be a massive douche.
And instead of having the crap beaten out of him on a dance floor, he wound up loathed by a nation.
The comments on the YouTubes are comedy gold — or completely fucking terrifying, depending on your point of view. Wake up and firght for your rights against the masons and NWO!!!!!111
“That video looks completely staged to me. I know liberals are desperate to paint the Tea Party as a bunch of racists but they go too far when they deliberately infiltrate the protests, posing as a Tea Partier, and then act up like this so the elite media can film it and show it on TV. 100% phony.”
“Obama is a puppet for the NEw World Order. When the united States is finally bankrupt and not able to support it self any longer the NWO will move in and institure nanionalized work forces. and that will be onyl the begennig ladies and gentelmen. wake up and firght for your rights. I am not saying a physical fight, look into these things and connections with the masons, illuminati and the NWO. These groups haev already done ti with europe. They have a continental currency over there, The Euro”
“Its cute that you think that Im Republican. But as a former soldier, and one with many friends currently serving I feel you should be aware that a good portion of those Marines you are talking about currently belong to groups that are prepared to use arms against the federal government, not in support of it should civil war arise. Heres hoping we get the chance to find out.”
[re=540492]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Never mind flouride, maybe we should start putting anti-psychotics in the water.
[re=540272]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: No, no, no… I agree with Tommmcatt. “Eric Cantor is a huge douchebag” would be on topic in any conversation.
You just can’t get quality
psychopathssociopathscrazy fuckers, these days.Liberals saw the savagery of the Teabagger attacks and prepared to stop them; conservatives saw the savagery of the Teabagger attacks and wanted to offer therapy and understanding for the attackers.
“Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?”
He can cry crocodile tears after the lies about it not being him did not pan out, I am having a real hard time feeling bad for this clown.
Also, anyone else notice they never pick on anyone that could defend themselves? I would bet you money this asshole would never think of pulling that crap with a 6 foot, 4 inch black man.
[re=540318]sati demise[/re]: Assbag will probably just retire to his basement and jack off to his Sarah Palin issue of Runner’s World.
[re=540419]Limeylizzie[/re]: That explains my wife’s purchasing habits.
re=540492]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Sean, is that you? Son, please sit down and shut up.
[re=540504]canadasteve[/re]: I dunno. I, for one, welcome the prospect of “nanionalized work forces.” Injecting some nanotech to my body would either help keep me healthy or turn me into a mass of grey goo.
So did he mail the donation to the charity, or did he just drive over there and throw wadded-up dollar bills at their front door?
At least this Reichert guy apologized, and was capable of demonstrating at least an outward appearance of human emotions like “regret” or “empathy” when faced with the consequences of his actions
That by itself seems to make him a more ethical person than any elected Republican
[re=540317]TheCoolestGuyInTown[/re]: I’m enough of an optimist to believe that there’s a chance–and probably just a slim chance–that this asshole has actually been made aware that he was really being an asshole, and that he is genuinely ashamed of his behavior. For one thing, he actually SAID he acted shamefully, and didn’t issue one of those lame “I’m sorry if anyone was offended” non-apologies.
Hell, for the moment, if fear of harassment is his only reason for making a public apology, it’s at least a start. Maybe he’s actually capable of change, just maybe. Or not. I read a lot of Mark Twain in college, so I have every reason to believe my skepticism about Reichert’s sincerity is accurate.
Also re: the healing process: a donation doesn’t count for much (and hey, I want to see the receipt–the long form). If Reichert truly wants to demonstrate that he wants to make amends for his assholery, fucker needs to volunteer a significant chunk of his time at a hospice.
[re=540542]Dean Booth[/re]: oops, wrong thread.
Today we are all… oh fuck it, he’s a douche bag.
[re=540626]Dean Booth[/re]: Meh. Fits.
Reichert was quoted as saying. “I am really incredibly sorry. Incredibly sorry that someone videotaped me being such an a-hole.”
[re=540378]Mr Blifil[/re]:
…that’s more heartwarming than the story of the virgin nymphette and the busload of lumberjacks.
Where might one see a matinee showing of this tender coming-of-age story?
he does not get to say its time for the healing to begin. no u need t o s uffer a bit more first then the healing can begin. and only true victims should say the healing can begin after all they were the ones hurt in the first place.
Does he own a Ford dealership? I swear we had a Reichert sticker under the license plate of our Aerostar and Escort.
Hey, does this teabagging idiot realize that Victorian Village is essentially the gay neighborhood here in Columbus?
I used to live there. Amateur brownshirts like Reichart are a dime a dozen around those parts.
[re=540624]DoktorZoom[/re]: If he had not lied initially when they caught him, I might share some of your optimism.
[re=540317]TheCoolestGuyInTown[/re]: Agreed. Rise above.
[re=540624]DoktorZoom[/re]: OTOH he did go with the “some say” defense in the first interview (which I suspect operatives set up given the photo with the stars and stripes flying behind his “oh-so-normal” fat suburban head. I don’t think that bodes too well for his coming turnaround from the dark side.
It was a better apology than Cantor or Boner.
Mr.Chris Reichert,
The ONLY way you are going to get people to believe your regret is if you get down on your knees, kiss the feet of the man you insulted and beg for forgiveness, ON CAMERA!!
This is the ONLY way.
Otherwise ………… Did you say, “You snapped”……..Snapped eh……….. really??
[re=540705]KingofQueenAnne[/re]: I was wondering how closely he may be related to our WA congress critter “Sheriff Dave” Reichert?
Hahahaha. Victorian Village is a former cheap housing area turned gentry-appropriate. No wonder he was throwing dollar bills around. They are as useless as pennies. Worse even. Now he will never leave his restored mini-mansion ever again…unless it’s to use his (dude, fantastic) seats for the Bucks. Hooray, capital city, sophisticated center of all healing processes (not mandated by courts).
That old guy’s name is Lechter?? Motherfucking Reichert better watch his back, cuz now he’s gonna get eated with fava beans and everything.
Not buying this guys “apology” one bit! It’s probably wrong but I will hope with all my might that this a-hole loses his job and insurance and then gets sick (nothing fatal of course) let him see what its like first hand. The typical righty a-hole can never see the world from someone else’s shoes, its always about people taking whats theirs instead of doing something for the greater good. Drives me effing insane….
[re=540349]Aurelio[/re]: I think the APA needs to stop worrying about which sounds better. I’m no psychiatrist, but I thought that by definition a “sociopath,” “psychopath,” or person with a “antisocial personality disorder” is not going to have his feelings hurt if he receives a diagnosis that implies social disapproval of their actions. This is also why there is no way that Retched Reichert the Rectum’s apology is sincere.
I have it on good authority that he only apologized is because he went to his favorite titty-bar and the stripers threw his tips back at him.
[re=540978]Blue Jefferson Clinton the Cat[/re]: Here’s a better picture of this vile shitsack, and an article: http://www.dispatch.com/live/content/local_news/stories/2010/03/24/dollar-bill-throw.html?sid=101
[re=540705]KingofQueenAnne[/re]: I know – all Germans look alike. But that’s a different asshole – Fred Ricart, of horrible Columbus Urban Butthurt Legends http://www.columbusconsumer.com/curling%20iron%20caper.htm .
He’s never been to a political rally, but his collective unconscious mysteriously drew him to the sound of jack boots.
Hmm … guy behaves like a scumbag & gets videotaped doing so, video goes viral, guy denies it’s him, guy then gets pwned, suddenly “discovers” that oh, shucks, I guess that IS me in that video, & apologizes – with no clue why he did it, or what he was even doing there, & vows never to go to another political rally. Yup, sure sounds like “the healing process” has begun, alrighty.
Convenient apology is convenient.
Someone in Columbus, bless this guy with the flaming bag of dogsh*t!
Some great minds thinking together here : http://justice4claire.blogspot.com/2010/03/who-is-chris-reichert-and-do-you-buy.html
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