DAILY BRIEFING  8:01 am March 25, 2010

Share Some Greased Tea With Me, Everyday Is Silent and Grey

by Ken Layne

  • Teabaggers have shown great maturity by threatening the lives and vandalizing the homes and offices of Democratic lawmakers who voted for the Health Care Reform. [New York Times]
  • Happy Thursday, gay soldiers! Defense Secretary Robert Gates will announce today that the Pentagon is basically going to let you be gay until Congress gets around to making it official, that you can be gay while getting sent to Afghanistan or Iraq or wherever to be blown up, for Liberty. [Washington Post]
  • Saudi Arabia is cautiously trying the interesting new idea of letting women have jobs outside the home. Is there even a name for this? [Bloomberg]
  • Republican senators tried every dumb thing they could think of — including holding their breath and peeing in their panties — to block or ruin the Senate’s version of the Health Care Reform Bill, but nothing worked and they just look like even bigger assholes and failures than they did Sunday. [CNN]
  • The Tea Party may succeed after all: A new poll shows teabaggers running for Congress will cancel out the Republican votes, making Democrats win every race … even though Republicans have a slight national lead in the polls today. [Reuters]
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

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Bearbloke March 25, 2010 at 8:07 am

So whatever happened to those Bush-era Anti-Terrorism laws – or do they not apply to white people?

Bearbloke March 25, 2010 at 8:10 am

Speaking of Gay Soldiers, I think I would have been gay with your General Grant, at least before he became a drunkard…

Sparky McGruff March 25, 2010 at 8:20 am

[re=540111]Bearbloke[/re]: Silly librul, everyone knows only muslins are terra-ists, and they’re brown. But the cops can still beat up hippies for any reason, ‘cuz this is ah-murika.

Cape Clod March 25, 2010 at 8:23 am

After reading the Reuters article on how Teabaggers are ruining the Republican chances in November, I resisted the temptation to read the next most popular article: “Sex Toy Start-up Has Some Big Backers.”

loquaciousmusic March 25, 2010 at 8:28 am

The title of this post reminds me of the Skoalrebel tribute video I made a few months ago. Such a video seems even more relevant now, doesn’t it?

tencentcomic March 25, 2010 at 8:30 am

[re=540111]Bearbloke[/re]: The difference is simple. A REAL terrorists like those guys in funny outfits just need to plan or even think about terrorism. Here, REAL Americans must actually blow something up, or kill some one, or send something in the mail or… to be investigated. Hope that clears things up around here.

ella March 25, 2010 at 8:30 am

Is there even a name for this?

Yes. The 19th Century.

gurukalehuru March 25, 2010 at 8:45 am

Run, Teabaggers, Run!
Your blood is pure, your vision clear
bring back the fife and the drum

Run, Teabaggers, Run!
Break out the tri-corner hats
and your trusty hunting rifle

Run, Teabaggers, Run!
wave your copy of the constitution
in the air like a banner

Restore Pre-existing Conditions!
Bring back the America of fierce individuals
who loved freedom and embraced war

Run, Teabaggers, Run!
Americans support you! You are 25%!
How can you lose?

Bacchus March 25, 2010 at 8:54 am

Eh, not so much on the Repuglicans not throwing a wrench in the health care bill. Unfortunately they’ve go a procedural point on a couple of student loan provisions. Looks like the House is going to have to vote again.

Mild Midwesterner March 25, 2010 at 8:58 am

[re=540112]Bearbloke[/re]: If I were gonna go gay for civil war soldier, it would definitely be General Lee. I mean, aren’t the bad boys always more attractive?

Whitey Did Katrina March 25, 2010 at 9:01 am

[re=540123]Mild Midwesterner[/re]: I’ve always been dubious about General Lee on account of his Chinaman name.

Beijing and Nothingness March 25, 2010 at 9:02 am

Well, Ken, it IS the coastal town that they forgot to bomb.

Whitey Did Katrina March 25, 2010 at 9:05 am

(Oh, and seriously, please do check to see if your senator is one of the butt-hurt morons who canceled a hearing or committee meeting and if so give him a call. It won’t do any good, but it will at least remind them that some of us can get pissed at our officials without threatening to lynch someone.)

Monsieur Grumpe March 25, 2010 at 9:08 am

I need an “I Heart Teabaggers” bumper sticker becuase it’s so true.

Johnny Zhivago March 25, 2010 at 9:09 am

Hey, here’s an ammendment that makes sense and will solve all our problems in about 50 years or so:

No Health Care for Republicans!

Terry March 25, 2010 at 9:09 am


Good thing they found a way to fight the evilness that is student loans. If they are expanded, more of those poor and middle class kids will get to go to college and bring down the exclusivity of the whole thing, like back a decade or so ago.

ManchuCandidate March 25, 2010 at 9:13 am

[re=540129]Johnny Zhivago[/re]:
Mr Z, I would like to put forth an amendment for your new awesome law. No more gubbiment checks for teabaggers.

Ruhe March 25, 2010 at 9:14 am

[re=540117]ella[/re]: Brilliant.

Mr. Layne, I assume you mean that all those Democrats will be elected posthumously after they’ve died in horrible barbecue bomb incidents.

TGY March 25, 2010 at 9:15 am

Republicans tried everything and it finally worked.

[re=540128]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Strangely, I read that as “I Hurt Teabaggers”

gurukalehuru March 25, 2010 at 9:15 am

I think we should have a surge of gay soldiers in Afghanistan, inter-reacting with the local population, where they would undoubtedly be popular due to all of the women being hidden under blankets and never allowed out of the house.
Winning hearts and minds up the butt.

andmeilikethesauce March 25, 2010 at 9:16 am

Come, come, nuc-u-lar bomb….

Mr Blifil March 25, 2010 at 9:21 am

Good god what do these Saudi women want? They have all the brightly colored scarves they could possibly want under the modest vestments they wear out in public, to prevent men from having thoughts of boning them, which will inevitably happen. And they can drink as much tea as they can reasonably be expected to desire. Wait, are we talking about a Saudi porn industry, mayhap? In that case, +1.

TGY March 25, 2010 at 9:21 am

Wait, how do you ‘relax the enforcement’ of DADT? Require people to be excessively gay before they’re thrown out? Like, you know, flaming?

freakishlystrong March 25, 2010 at 9:21 am

The poll by Quinnipiac University said voters by 44 percent to 39 percent said they planned to vote for a Republican over a Democratic candidate in November, the latest sign of a rebirth of the Republican Party.

That is the scariest thing I’ve ever read. Hold me.

mumblyjoe March 25, 2010 at 9:27 am

[re=540111]Bearbloke[/re]: It’s really quite simple: *terrorists* live in caves. *non-terrorists*, live in the American South. That is the categorical definition, and anything else is mere details. So, if a non-terrorist in the American South carries out a series of politically motivated bombings, he’s still a non terrorist. If a guy happens to be in Afghanistan doing humanitarian aid, though, he’s obviously a terrorist, and we need to torture the dickens out of him until he tells us he’s BFFs with Osama Bin Ladin. For freedom.

queeraselvis v 2.0 March 25, 2010 at 9:28 am

[re=540113]Sparky McGruff[/re]: No no. Sherman was hotter… MUCH hotter (and ginger to boot!).

ManchuCandidate March 25, 2010 at 9:28 am

8 months is a long time.

No mention of when the poll was taken, how many people were surveyed or even the margin of error.

I say this is shitty reporting by Reuters (if I recall correctly not surprising as their US editor is a known W apologist.)

Traveler March 25, 2010 at 9:28 am

[re=540117]ella[/re]: Beat me to it!

x111e7thst March 25, 2010 at 9:29 am

[re=540130]Terry[/re]: It is a scandal and national shame that money that could be used to enrich actual bankers is being frittered away on these “student loans”.

WadISay March 25, 2010 at 9:32 am

As long as it’s going back to the house anyway, someone should introduce an amendment saying no federal funds shall be used to diaper US senators or procure prostitutes to spank them.

JMP March 25, 2010 at 9:36 am

It’s certainly a good thing that Republican pressure forced the Justice Department to retract their investigation into right-wing terrorism last year, since the far right has shown that they’re completely peaceful and no danger to others.

freakishlystrong March 25, 2010 at 9:36 am

[re=540144]ManchuCandidate[/re]: You and I know that. Mouth breathers out in Cable TeeVee land however, honestly think that 44% of this country would actually vote for these sticky faced, shouty toddlers that are today’s R’s.

V572625694 March 25, 2010 at 9:37 am

[re=540139]freakishlystrong[/re]: Those “generic” repub v demo polls are meaningless. Worse than meaningless. When the time comes to choose between the incumbent congresscritter that got your son a job in some fat-dripping local pork project and some unknown quantity aspirant who’d start with no seniority, the incumbent always wins.

Redhead March 25, 2010 at 9:53 am

[re=540138]TGY[/re]: Ignore any and all complaints/tips of gayness until the person in question wears a rainbow flag around his/her neck and tattoos “gay” on his/her forehead.

In all seriousness, how great would it be if Congress tried to repeal DADT and the Repugs pulled all the same shenanigans they pulled with healthcare reform – and while that’s going on, the military said, “goody for you but we’re not enforcing it whether you repeal it or not”?

Prommie March 25, 2010 at 10:01 am

[re=540151]V572625694[/re]: I am starting to have hope again, to have a reason to live. What with being old and all, and realizing I am never going to be what I hoped as a youth to become, I have decided lately there is nothing left for me but to shut up and wait quietly for death to release me from this zombie-like existence. But this, this, this shitstorm, this conflagration, these spasms and jerks as our triumphant post WWII superpower empire dies its slow and painful death, this crap amuses me. I used to be disgusted, but now I do try to be amused. I cheer the teabaggers, they are better than Spinal Tap, better even than Animal House; in fact, someone should be writing the Teabagger movie right about now, oh, I cannot wait for it.

queeraselvis v 2.0 March 25, 2010 at 10:15 am

[re=540170]Redhead[/re]: It only seems logical that Rethugs would tilt at the windmill of supporting DADT, esp. given that one of them there uppity ni**ers wants it repealed.

Sleeves March 25, 2010 at 10:21 am

[re=540135]andmeilikethesauce[/re]: Yep, the weakest measure. Needed something like “Come! Come! Come! kai-SEE-om bomb!”

proudgrampa March 25, 2010 at 11:33 am

These people that have threatened Congress members’ families are despicable. Make me ashamed to be an American.

Oh. And fuck ‘em. Also.

Lascauxcaveman March 25, 2010 at 11:35 am

[re=540147]WadISay[/re]: As long as it’s going back to the house anyway, someone should introduce an amendment saying no federal funds shall be used to diaper US senators or procure prostitutes to spank them.

Didn’t you hear? The Vitter Shitter Hooker Quitter amendment has already passed, 59 – 41, straight party line vote.

Sleeves March 25, 2010 at 11:39 am

[re=540117]ella[/re]: (Præternuptiæ comes to mind…)

proudgrampa March 25, 2010 at 12:22 pm

[re=540240]Sleeves[/re]: Help with definition, please? Google search returns nothing. Thank you!

S.Luggo March 25, 2010 at 12:23 pm

…National Republican Congressional Committee spokesman Andy Sere said [US Representative] Perriello is not the victim.
“Central and Southside Virginians are the ones who are going to have the bear the burden of increased taxes,” he said. “What you’re seeing is a frustration among his constituents who believe he’s not listening to them.”

Shame on you Perriello for provoking the teabaggers. Shame.

Sleeves March 25, 2010 at 12:45 pm

[re=540275]proudgrampa[/re]: “outside household”, not Romanichal. A noncey, nice-to-sound sort of sacerdotal Latin…seems like a candidate euphemism from the Church of England, to me.

comicbookguy March 25, 2010 at 12:50 pm

[re=540175]Prommie[/re]: I’d throw a few crumpled up dollar bills to see that movie.

proudgrampa March 25, 2010 at 12:53 pm

[re=540316]Sleeves[/re]: Gotcha. Thanks! I think.

Sleeves March 25, 2010 at 12:58 pm

[re=540335]proudgrampa[/re]: (If not, then I’m sorry grandpa.)

GOPCrusher March 25, 2010 at 1:46 pm

[re=540147]WadISay[/re]: What do you have against dominatrixs (dominatrii?)

proudgrampa March 25, 2010 at 3:18 pm

[re=540461]GOPCrusher[/re]: Dominatrices. You’re welcome.

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