Scott Brown, remember that guy? He was the Naked Senator, the 41st Vote, the 57th state, all the teabagger dreams realized and brought to life in the handsome form of some hairy-bellied Golem from the pages of a 1980s issue of Cosmopolitan. It was as if he drove that dumb mini pickup straight out to Hyannis Port, dug up Ted Kennedy and punched him in the mouth, even though Ted Kennedy is actually buried at Arlington National Cemetery. Oh yeah, and Health Care Reform passed — it’s the law now, in America. Scott Brown didn’t do shit.
We here at Wonkette don’t even dislike Scott Brown in any particular way. He’s an ambitious guy, kind of creepy with the daughters, hokey with that whole Fred Thompson “I drive a truck so I’m not gay like most Republicans” thing, but still a moderate Massachusetts politician who voted for the socialist Romneycare program in that state and kept telling people he wasn’t going to vote anybody’s party line.
So, on his second U.S. Senate vote, he didn’t vote the party line. He went with the Democrats on a very middle-of-the-road Tax Cuts For Businesses Hiring New Workers thing, a piece of legislation about as bipartisan and helpful as you can get during the Great Recessions third calendar year.
And the Teabaggers & Wingnuts & Nobamatards just lost what was left of their minds. YOU DID WHAT? Here is actual video of a Nobamatard reacting to the news that Scott Brown had “gone rogue” in the U.S. Senate:
Now they Hate Scott Brown, and he is nervous and sad. The Boston Herald, the same right-leaning tough-guy tabloid that endorsed and promoted Brown’s whole unlikely rise to the Senate, well that newspaper has cold abandoned him. They’ve put out an entire issue dedicated to saying Scott Brown is finished, done, no mas, back home and forgotten next year when his partial-term abortion ends:
Republican folk hero Sen. Scott Brown is being taunted by triumphant Democrats — and slammed by irked conservatives — after the historic health-care bill he was elected to kill was signed into law by President Obama yesterday.
“If he were a milk carton, he would be expired,” said Massachusetts Democratic Party chairman John Walsh.
Brown’s backers from the insurgent Tea Party movement want to know if they’ve been had.
“We start to wonder whether we helped a RINO (Republican in name only) get into office,” said Tea Party activist Jeffrey McQueen, who traveled from Michigan to campaign for Brown in the final days of the Jan. 19 special election that rocked the nation.
Yeah, so pretty much done! Now, what’s this Rachel Maddow thing? A mysterious Twitter-tweet went out yesterday:
Scott Brown, self-proclaimed Goliath of the Republican party and unstoppably popular candidate for reelection in 2012, made no attempt to hide his fear when Massachusetts Democratic Party Chairman John Walsh tweeted “Some are talking about you running vs Scott Brown in ’12. I’m Chair of MA Dem Party. My email is johnewalsh@_____.”
Who is the “you” being addressed? Nobody knows? So Scott Brown naturally assumed it must be someone who was never mentioned in the message — a famous teevee news host who happens to live in Massachusetts.
“I am not running against Scott Brown for Senate,” Rachel Maddow said Wednesday on her MSNBC teevee show. That is sad, because she would be an awesome candidate, but as Ronald Reagan said, “Facts are stupid things.” Anyway, she’s not running for Senate. Scott Brown is scared to death of a Twitter that didn’t even mention her name or give any description that would lead anyone (sane) to think the Massachusetts Democratic Party chairman was sending a Twitter about Rachel Maddow running against Scott Brown next year.
Poor Scott Brown has had the shortest national career of pretty much any American politician, ever. And he didn’t even have to do anything gross like John Edwards always does! [Boston Herald/Death + Taxes]
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He can take solace in the fact that he’ll always be #1 in the hearts of those whose sexual fetish is to see images of penises neatly obscured by a magazine spine crease.
Well, I would vote for Rachel in a heartbeat.
Lie down with teabaggers and you are going to get fleas. Just sayin’.
Damnit Wonkette, I will probably watch that video 5 times today.
Who is this post about again?
Maybe he could “join the other team,” ha ha. After all, he did appear in Playgirl.
Keep up the good work in trying to bring down RINOs, teabaggers; I’m sure that if you replaced Brown with a hardcore conservative they’d easily win in Massachusetts. Although it must be disappointing that he didn’t manage to block health reform despite creating the Republicans a -18 vote majority in the Senate.
[re=540154]Terry[/re]: Only lemons lie down with teabaggers.
What was he supposed to do… join the House and vote five times against the HCR? Or was he supposed to run over six Democrats in his truck, thereby making them unable to vote?
[re=540155]MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend[/re]: You know, cute cat pictures and videos might be a successful theme for a website.
[re=540152]Liz Becton[/re]: The part of the magazine which you call the “spine crease” has another name in the trade, so it should read “…whose sexual fetish is to see images of penises neatly obscured by a gutter.”
More of a win!
Scott Brown would do well, in Massachusetts especially, to start caucasing occasionally with the Dems. The verve which got him elected has apparently died down, and it won’t be easier for him come next election period. Unless he proves flexible, this flavor of the month is out.
This is what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real.
[re=540157]JMP[/re]: Are there any other type of Republicans in Taxachusetts other than RINOs? I mean, besides Romney who has drunk so much wingnut Kool Aid that he glows.
Yeah, well, who’s your truck now, Scott?
[re=540155]MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend[/re]: I know. It’s like crack.
But wait! If Brown got elected because everybody’s all “screw the libruls, we’ve had it up to our tramp stamps with this lefty stuff”, why would he even care if a librul runs against him? Let alone have to make it up?
did the wingnuts in their gross ignorance suddenly discover that this nekkid boy is pro-abortion
and fails to pass the Purity test?
In summary, then: Massachusetts–come for the lobster, stay for the ennui.
Shortest national career of any American politician? I’m outraged that you would forsake draculacunt!
Rachel is totally gay for Scott. Wait.
I don’t know that it is ENTIRELY fair to blame all of the communism on Poor Scott Brown, governmentally. But if yer looking for a talkin basic civics, I guess the Teabaggers are entitled to their “opinion” of “the system” too.
If Brown is done, can we have his daughters? I hear they’re “available.”
Hate to stick up for another self-serving pol wanting to spend the next 50 years on the tax payer’s teat in DC (see Walnuts), but maybe he’s just trying to get himself re-elected by actually doing some of the crap he campaigned on. Maybe??
The Republican party is such a sad sack that they actually thought this guy beating that idiot Coakley was a huge victory. Now they are waking up and realizing they threw a champagne gala for the political equivalent of successfully not shitting your pants for an entire day.
[re=540162]Gregoire[/re]: That, and next time the Democrats might nominate someone who isn’t an incompetent hack; the teabaggers might want to claim responsibility for his election, but he had a lot of help from the horrible campaign Croakley ran.
[re=540164]Pop Socket[/re]: None who can get elected, anyway. Romney was pretty liberal, doe a Republican, until he started his Presidential run.
I’m pretty sure that cat is watching CSPAN.
And the Teabaggers & Wingnuts & Nobamatards just lost what was left of their minds.
Objection: facts not in evidence (to wit, assumes that above parties had “minds” to begin with).
Driving a truck does not prove Scott Brown is not gay, merely that he is a ‘top’.
Most likely Senator Rupert Everett will run for President instead of waging a losing re-election campaign. Think about it: Romney is out of the question, and the smart money is unlikely to follow Sarah Palin over the cliff. That leaves Huckabee, Thune, Pawlenty, and Brown. He won’t win the nomination, but he has a nice shot at a veep bid. Then when the ticket loses, Brown can move to Iowa and spend the next four years “talking to America”.
Kinda see where this is going? It’s the John Edwards path to the presidency. Just needs a Republican Rielle Hunter to tie up the loose ends.
Brown could probably insure his his re-election by switching parties and voting as a Blue Dog.
He went off sniffing drainpipes and reciting the alphabet.
He’s not finished, he’s another Massachusetts “Mitt Romney” type wannabe. Even if he never holds office again he’ll be a pretty wingnut face that will always show up where ever there’s a camera and a party line to be echoed. Until you manage to beat him off with a shovel. Many times.
Scott Brown / Skoalrebel in 2012!
Scott just needs to put a picture of Pelosi in the crosshairs of a telescopic sight on his FaceSpace and the Teabaggers will love him all over again.
Does this mean Rachael will not be posing nude?
He’s the Dracula Cunt of Taxachusetts!
[re=540165]freakishlystrong[/re]: Kitty kat krack = http://www.catsinsinks.com Instant gratification, but without the litterbox.
[re=540178]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: But didn’t he campaign on having a pickup truck, not really giving a shit, and slightly loving torture? That seems like the sort of hard-hitting agenda that would take two terms, tops.
[re=540158]weejee[/re]: And a spoonful of sugar helps the rhetoric go down.
The least he could have done was taken his clothes off on the floor of the House, thereby enticing Barney Frank to miss the vote to ogle Mr. Brown and his crease. For the Troops. And to let the Baggers’ Freedoms Ring.
[re=540198]Spike[/re]: I think I saw that movie. Very bad production value.
Mitt dealt with that whole “I signed a socialist health insurance plan into law as Governor” thing by just lying and threatening his dogs with another vacation by car.
[re=540188]kth[/re]: Except that if a Republican failed candidate without office was caught cheating, there would be nothing more than a footnote in the media; hell, they’re still ignoring the sitting Senator who bought off his mistress’ husband.
[re=540190]forgracie[/re]: Hey!
You know he was done for the moment the Times put him on their Sunday mag cover and let Frank Bruni waste 5000 words on him.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/28/magazine/28Brown-t.html?pagewanted=all
Isn’t it clear, to the shagrin of the Tea Partiers, that Scott Brown would not “go all the way” for their causes. I mean, he didn’t even show the full monty in Cosmo. That should have been telling tale. Scott, man up. (Or sideways or curve slightly downward). Ask for a shoot over and show the Teabaggers the creasey (or gutteral)business they really want to see.
Considering that the other right-wing nuts in the Senate couldn’t stop health care reform, I’m wondering what the tea party crowd expected Brown to do. I’m assuming they would have been happy if he went the Coburn route, acting like the biggest asshole in the world pushing crazed bills that will never get passed and making outrageous statements that piss off gays, women, people with college degrees and end up as fodder for this Web site.
I’m curious how the editors of the Herald think this would have improved his chances in 2012.
[re=540165]freakishlystrong[/re]: [re=540200]the problem child[/re]: In the realm of feline exegesis, there’s also this:
http://www.amazon.com/Why-Cats-Paint-Ethics-Aesthetics/dp/1580087930/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1269529353&sr=1-1
Hmmm. Lets check his machismo index.
Drives a truck, check (+10), Former model, what?(only -4 since W was a cheerleader), Former Hand Model-Wah?(-6 for too weird), Terrified of lesbians, WTF?(-8.4, real men love lesbians, even the ones who drive trucks), Total Score-8.4
Also, no sign of trucknutz on said truck, make that another -6.
[re=540198]Spike[/re]: A beloved blast from the past. Thank you.
[re=540160]V572625694[/re]: It would really be great if someone could create a site in which the cats could talk and used cute abbreviations for everyday words.
It might catch on.
I just have to ask Massachusetts voters, once again: SERIOUSLY? I mean, REALLY? I understand Coakley was a charisma-less, corporatist, law-and-order, pseudo-Democrat, but unless she was feeding live puppies into blenders during press conferences, you FUCKED UP.
[re=540208]JMP[/re]: Wasn’t it his parents, who bought off the mistress’ husband? Now there’s a man for you, the kinda guy whose mommy and daddy buy off his mistress’s husbands, thats some kinda man there, you betcha.
That cat has at least 3 things a teabagger cannot even recognize: 1) sensitivity 2) self-reflection 3) a tail (dammit how do you do strikethrough?) — i meant decency…
Brown should have know that selling all those shiny uniforms and musical instruments to the teabaggers kids wasn’t going make them into a usful marching band.
[re=540219]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: Many of them did truly believe, apparently, that Brown could stop health care reform. More than that, though, I think a lot of teabaggers voted for him as a symbol, to send a message to the national GOP that they meant business. When he “turned on them” by voting how he always said he’d vote anyway, it was an especially hard fall for ye olde pluggers, as they realized they’d projected an image of Brown very different from the real one, and that their actual crazy-ass candidates would never get elected.
Lacking all self-awareness, of course, they just called him a communist plant.
Did the Teabaggers honestly think that Brown was going to stop HCR single-handedly? Are they that stupid?
Yes, yes they are.
[re=540178]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: The real problem for Brownie is he didn’t campaign on anything much beyond “I’ll stop Healthcare.” That was his topline argument, the only thing that resonated with the hardcore rightwing, and what he chose to built his whole persona around – that he’d be the stake to the heart of any and all Democratic efforts on health care. There just wasn’t anything else in his campaign beyond a vague statement that he wouldn’t always oppose the Dems. Dems who hated Martha Coakley and were lukewarm on this healthcare package (because it isn’t generous enough, generally) heard this and apparently decided they wanted to “send a message” that they wouldn’t always rubberstamp the Dem choice. Exit polling suggests these Dems – people who wanted more coverage, not the Teabaggers who want nothing – put him over the top.
But in the Teabaggers’ collective mind (I’d say hivemind, but it’s an insult to bees) they “made” him, so he “had” to vote their way on everything, even if it would be political suicide in Massachussetts. What he is doing on everything but healthcare is exactly what any Senator from Massachussetts would have to do if they don’t want to get killed in the next election, but since when do one-note voters on either side care about reality? It’s like expecting the “Public Option or Death” crowd on the far left to understand that Obama getting the best deal he can and wanting to move on is not the same thing as crushing their children’s testicles in front of them and then billing them for the experience.
[re=540226]norbizness[/re]: Well, puppy torture worked for Romney in MA, so that might not have been a problem.
I just hope the Dems can nominate someone decent for that seat in 2012.
[re=540227]Prommie[/re]: I believe it was both; his parents brought off the guy with money, and Ensign got him a new, cushy job. That’s a pair of truly loving parents, though, willing to bribe an angry husband for their boy.
[re=540221]Ducksworthy[/re]: Especially the ones who drive trucks. You don’t have to explain the difference between cover-2 and a man shell with over the top safety help to them every freakin’ week!
Today we are all penises neatly obscured by a magazine spine crease.
I understand that a dyslexic batshitcrazy teabagger misread the blog and threw his prick through brownies pickup truck window.
[re=540179]BaconTime[/re]: Win
[re=540227]Prommie[/re]: Well, he did break ethics laws in getting the guy some work, and may have even tried to trade votes for getting the guy lobbying jobs, so it really was a family effort (and The Family as well, with Dr. Tom Coburn providing OB/GYN/lay deacon to dipshit “privileged” communications regarding how to make the payouts at C Street while Gov. Sanford drunkenly sobbed about his love of the tango, the pampas and all other things Argentinian and Chip Pickering boned his mistress)*.
* The time scale has been compressed in this comment to make these events even more hilarious than the truth that all of them did, in fact, happen at a secretive house only Christian conservative members of Congress inhabit among people who condemned Clinton for getting a BJ from Monica).
Sort of OT, but Tamron Hall,in full righteous high dudgeon, is grilling the (Black!) teabagger who posted the congresscritter’s brother’s home address on a blog. My god the color of her skin is beautiful.
[re=540192]Joshua Norton[/re]: I’ve seen Scott Brown’s wiener too many times. The thought of “beating him off” just doesn’t have the same pizazz it used to.
My love for you is like a truck, Berserker!
Would you like some making fuck, Berserker!
[re=540232]Hart88[/re]: Whenever a question includes “Are the teabaggers really that stupid?”, the answer will always be “Yes”.
[re=540221]Ducksworthy[/re]: I like your system of scoring. By your index, quite a lot of the men in my own family are negative macho grande.
[re=540220]V572625694[/re]: Holy shit, I have that book, which I purchased at an art show in New York, making me the worst East Coast librul in the land (but the cats’ Hudson River School paintings are surpisingly very good, check it out).
[re=540219]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: “they would have been happy if he went the Coburn route”
Hey, Manos, back off! That’s my senator you’re talking about. Anyone ever hear the story of campaigning Spooky Doktor Tom on tape in SE Oklahoma, decrying the fact the schools were so gay that girls had to go to the restroom one at a time?
Hard to imagine now seriously that poor dumb bastard takes threats that Rachel Maddow might stalk a Republican.
Much to Scott’s chagrin, the tweet was actually sent to Martha Coakley.
[re=540160]V572625694[/re]: Nah, it would never work. ha
Tea Baggers need to learn that Michelle Bachmann or Steve King can’t represent everyone in the United States. There is only so much batshyt crazy to go around.
We used to have a Persian cat that would bend down and lick the floor when you petted it. Just saying.
And he didn’t even have to do anything gross like John Edwards always does!
The whole Naked Senator thing wasn’t gross?
[re=540301]BlueStateLiberal[/re]: My mother bought that book for my wife and me years ago (we had two cats and no kids back then). Never could figure out if it was one of the great satires of our time or if the author was dead serious about the idea that bird-killing balls of hate and claws (cute balls of hate and claws, but still) have some inner drive to express themselves. Reading it was like getting high without any drugs.
I can haz Scott Brown’s cheezburger?
So, other than the headline, how do we know Beam-Me-Up-Scotty has expressed any fear of foxy Rachel? That’s the image I really want to have.
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