RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  7:55 pm March 24, 2010

Help Rush Limbaugh Flee the Country?

by Riley Waggaman

  • Watch closely as RedState concludes what health care reform is really about (Hint: commie mind control!). [RedState]
  • John Boehner is featured in a hot new will.i.am remix by DJ Librul, and Boenher’s melodic screaming doesn’t even require “the auto-tune!” [AMERICAblog]
  • Two charitable hipsters from Brooklyn want to pay a human trafficker to escort Rush Limbaugh to Mexico, which is the only place left on earth where illegal immigrants do not receive free Obamacare abortions everyday. [Washington Examiner]
  • The Secret Service (with the help of Google Trends) has reported a slight increase in the number of people who don’t want to murder Barack Obama. [Washington Whispers]
 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 49 comments }

BlueStateLibtard March 24, 2010 at 8:02 pm

That’s the way Boner probably screams at his wife/daughter/secretary/boy lover too.

Sharkey March 24, 2010 at 8:09 pm

Hell yes I can’t!

weejee March 24, 2010 at 8:11 pm

Inter Riley, we thought you’d be malled by the baggers on the mall during the HCR live-blog. Good to see that you were doing a Boehner re-mix to whiter shade of pale brighter shade of orange.

barneyfunk March 24, 2010 at 8:39 pm

Dear RedState,

If you hate socialism and government programs so much, why are you using the government-developed and funded Internet. The Intertubes are not just full of socialism, they ARE socialism.

Love,

Reality

HedonismBot March 24, 2010 at 8:48 pm

OT, but Chuck Grassley is now claiming credit for several provisions in the HCR bill. (In fairness, he played a role in inserting some provisions in the bill, until the Teabag Brigades got him all hot & bothered with the threat of a primary challenge from an even bigger wacko.)
Funny how soon “The Democrats are trying to ram this down our throats” morphs into “I was responsible for that”, after polls show new support for the law, I mean bill.
Too bad this won’t translate into a vote for a bill he helped create.

HedonismBot March 24, 2010 at 8:50 pm

By the way, who among you can tell me how to do that strike-thru thingie on the comments?

HedonismBot March 24, 2010 at 8:54 pm

[re=539928]HedonismBot[/re]: Nope, I was right the first time: law, not bill. Oopsies, moran & etc.

Joshua Norton March 24, 2010 at 8:54 pm

[re=539899]weejee[/re]:

Inter Riley

Ack! Your Freudian slip is showing.

weejee March 24, 2010 at 9:00 pm

[re=539935]Joshua Norton[/re]: Ayeee! Intern Riley, my apologies. Joshua, it’s a good thing he wasn’t here over the weekend and could see what we called him then.

Joshua Norton March 24, 2010 at 9:00 pm

[re=539925]barneyfunk[/re]:

Plus:

No more using public schools, public libraries, national parks, highways, fire departments, police departments, Social Security, Medicare or any advances that grew out of the space program.

Those “real” Americans can also no longer use medications or eat food that has been tested by a government agency.

Their hypocrisy knows no limits. But you already knew that.

stew March 24, 2010 at 9:07 pm

What’s the old says? “This is what happens when cousins fuck.” Last word on the tea baggers…

qwerty42 March 24, 2010 at 9:13 pm

[re=539930]HedonismBot[/re]: It is old-style html physical tag. Not all are supported. Let’s see: this this?

qwerty42 March 24, 2010 at 9:15 pm

[re=539943]qwerty42[/re]: OK, the strike tag ( text ) isn’t supported…

SayItWithWookies March 24, 2010 at 9:19 pm

I’ll give a hundred bucks to ATicketToRush.com if I get to be the person who confiscates his passport and slams the airplane door behind him after he gets on. Oh, but he’ll need that passport to get into Costa Rica. Maybe an immigration jail can detain him indefinitely like they do with hippies and such here.

BeWoot March 24, 2010 at 9:23 pm

Human trafficker will probably know this already, but Mexico has universal health care. They could sneak Rush into Costa Rica (I think it’s socialism-free) or nearly anywhere in Africa. But Mexico, like the US, is under the thumb of Stalin.

Chernobyl Soup March 24, 2010 at 9:24 pm

I live in the almost-deep-south (Arkansas) and even the wingtards (hey! iPhone recognizes “wingtards”!) are saying “oh fuck we’re in for a rude awakening come November” because we so seriously miscalculated. Yay.

Dolmance March 24, 2010 at 9:32 pm

Reading the comments on Wonkette and being inspired to write my own has affected my style and caused me to be banned from just about every political site on the Net. I think it must be some kind of plot. This is about the only place left I can vent.

tcb March 24, 2010 at 9:37 pm

[re=539945]qwerty42[/re]: The tag is strike. Like this.

[re=539955]BeWoot[/re]: It is Costa Rica. This may be why Riley is still an intern, or it could be a postmodern ironic reference to any Spanish-speaking country. Or he could just be drunk. Again.

SayItWithWookies March 24, 2010 at 9:41 pm

[re=539945]qwerty42[/re]: It’s the strike tag — enclosed in angle brackets (less-than sign, greater-than sign). And you have to do “strike” enclosed in those brackets beforehand, then “/strike” enclosed in brackets afterwards.
So it goes like this if it works.
If you want to see the coding in action, the easiest way to do it is to (if you’re using Internet Explorer) right-click this page, then click on “view source” in the pop-up menu. This page entirely in rendered html will come up. Then do a find for something near what you’re looking for (find is under Edit in the menu at the top of the rendered page).

give us a bob March 24, 2010 at 9:57 pm

Help Rush Flee the Country – question mark? I think you need more !!!!!1!!!11!!!1!

Texan Bulldoggette March 24, 2010 at 9:59 pm

[re=539956]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: Oh Lord, I feel sorry for you. You & my dad (who thinks Mike Huckleberry is the stupidest ass alive) are probably the only two Dems in that whole backwoods state.

S.Luggo March 24, 2010 at 10:06 pm

Mockery of Dingell’s mention of “control”? Control means discipline. So what gives? Republicans once gotz all slathery, foamy, engorged, erectile and ejactious at the sound of that word.
Quo Vadis, Republican Party? Quo Vadis?

NYNYNY March 24, 2010 at 10:21 pm

Rush, do it for the good of the country. Go to Costa Rica. I promise we’ll all still listen to you on satelite internet x-box. And they won’t give you such a hassle about meds down there. Your show is always so much funnier when you’re “relaxed”.

Berkeley Bear March 24, 2010 at 10:23 pm

[re=539955]BeWoot[/re]: Costa Rica is where he said he’d go, but it has social care with a layer of private choice on top (i.e. what we would have if we could get a public option passed). Furriners who move there/own property have to pay into the social fund. It didn’t make sense when he said it, and still doesn’t, unless he wants to be a tax cheat in multiple countries.

I’m really not sure where we could dump him that has no socialized medicine – Darfur? Somalia? South Ossetia, maybe (since they don’t recognize the Geogian government)?

Lionel Hutz Esq. March 24, 2010 at 10:24 pm

My God, Riley, you are a genius. You have found a Will.I.Am song worth listening to.

S.Luggo March 24, 2010 at 10:28 pm

“Secret Service: Threats Against Obama Declining”
That’s because February is the month for re-runs of Hew Haw.

stew March 24, 2010 at 10:37 pm

Republicans now want to pass a law denying Viagra to child molesters. Sorry Rush–better try Cialis.

widget09 March 24, 2010 at 10:50 pm

Al Frankin was absolutly right. Rush Limpdick kind of reminds me of the Hindenburg with a big old Nazi swastica on the tail. I wish we had a time machine were we could send his big fat ass back to Nazi Germany were he belongs. I’m sure he would’nt have any complaints there, at least until they found out he was a closeted homosexual (a-la Earnst Rhome)

BeWoot March 24, 2010 at 11:13 pm

[re=539963]tcb[/re]: Oh, God. You’re suggesting I actually have to follow links before I whip out my rapieresque wit. So it’s true: life really is unfair.

fork-wielding maniac March 24, 2010 at 11:32 pm

[re=539965]SayItWithWookies[/re]: what he said, only, also, too, check this out:

http://codex.wordpress.org/Writing_Posts

toward the bottom are a bunch of html tags for posting.

El Pinche March 24, 2010 at 11:34 pm

I’m donating to AWoodChipperForRush.com. It’s guaranteed he won’t come back to US and deplete the oxytonin supply.

S.Luggo March 24, 2010 at 11:40 pm

On a less serious note, the Hannity-Rush-Beck anus of evil (in a way similar to the German National Socialist Party in the early 1930s):

Step 1. Blares at people living pay-check-to-check and without an identity except the local evangelical church, that, due to vaguely named forces (in the case of working class Germans, the Jews, the international banks and, later, Tin-tin), that they are poor and powerless;

Step 2: They can hear nothing else over this din and thus they believe that, because of these forces, they are poor and powerless and will become more so and Communists will kill Jesus and there will be no more Indy 500, penicillin, covered dish casseroles, NFL draft, hot wings, bail bondsmen, or church socials;

Step 3: Profit

Larry McAwful March 24, 2010 at 11:45 pm

I was going to correct you and point out that Rush wanted to go to Costa Rica, but then I realized: Costa Rica is *in* Mexico! From the sound of it, it might be on the coast somewhere. Or is Mexico landlocked? I’d check, but I can’t remember the web address for Wikipedia.

AddHomonym March 25, 2010 at 12:03 am

En Costa Rica hay muchas clinicas publicas, pero no hay hombres de guerra, asi: gagnar, gagnar.

SayItWithWookies March 25, 2010 at 12:42 am

Hey, anybody want to sign Michele Bachmann’s petition to repeal the healthcare bill? I’ve already made it clear that an ugly death from gangrene is better than being enslaved by socialism, but some piling on is clearly in order.
http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/repealthebill/

obfuscator March 25, 2010 at 12:50 am

is it realistically feasible to leave a trail of alternating twinkies and percocets between manhattan and cancun?

Lascauxcaveman March 25, 2010 at 12:50 am

Or do this[re=539930]HedonismBot[/re], type the following characters, only don’t put spaces between them:

whatever

You can do bold same way, with the letter ‘b’ instead of the word ‘strike’

and italic with the letter ‘i’ etc.

Lascauxcaveman March 25, 2010 at 12:53 am

Apparently space don’ t help. Here’s returns instead:


whatever

Lascauxcaveman March 25, 2010 at 12:56 am

SHit. I am clearly wasting our time time here. But as long as I’m batting zero, I’d like to see if this works:

whatever

Lascauxcaveman March 25, 2010 at 1:04 am

[re=540047]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Oh bloody hell, I have no idea. Follow one o’ them linkie deals i guess?

Bearbloke March 25, 2010 at 1:20 am

[re=540052]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: you should try it this wa…whatever

comicbookguy March 25, 2010 at 1:21 am

If they raise enough money and Rush refuses, he gets a donor plaque at Planned Parenthood and a nice thank you letter.

qwerty42 March 25, 2010 at 9:48 am

[re=539965]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Well … hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…
I thought [strike] was ‘deprecated’ — well, that’s what the O’Reilly book (HTML & XHTML) seemed to say … but thanks!!! and how do you get the Arabic and Chinese characters in???

Pandy March 25, 2010 at 10:25 am

[re=539955]BeWoot[/re]: Zimbabwe. Send him to Zimbabwe.

Darkness March 25, 2010 at 11:08 am

[re=540167]qwerty42[/re]: 母情人 ?

Accordion-o-rama March 25, 2010 at 12:32 pm

Mmmmm. I love the smell of Boenher in the morning.

Accordion-o-rama March 25, 2010 at 12:35 pm

Regarding Rush, I’ll put a few $ toward the purchase of drugs Costa Rican official will find in his luggage.

GOPCrusher March 25, 2010 at 1:24 pm

[re=540040]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Amazing, how these Republiklans can manage to turn Tea Bagger poutrage over Socialist health care reform, into an opportunity to do a little fundraising.

qwerty42 March 25, 2010 at 2:29 pm

[re=540223]Darkness[/re]: yes….

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