incentives will save us all

Apologetic ‘Baby-Killer’ Shouter Has Already Released Fundraising Video

See, we told you exactly how sorry this idiot “Noogieburger” would be for shouting “baby-killer” at his colleague, while in session in the United States House of Representatives: just sorry enough not to shout CHA-CHING!!!! in his big fundraising video one day later. His wife Dana sure knows how big a score this will be; just check out those shifty eyes. [Dallas Morning News]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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124 comments

  1. V572625694

    Too late Neugebauer, the gummint took over health care this morning when Hopey signed the bill, so Barry’ll just take it out of your check each payday, no need to send anything to Blue Cross anymore, hooray!

  2. El Pinche

    [re=538663]El Pinche[/re]: I should learn to read wonkett’s captions. I’m truly truly sorry. Please donate to my foundation.

  3. weejee

    Jim, I think it is Noogiebugger. He goes for your billfold or back door while distracting you with a little third grade Three Stooges cranial massage.

  4. facehead

    What an idiot, if he had just called Obama a ‘nigger’ he’d be a millionaire already.


  5. Post author
    Jim Newell

    [re=538669]El Pinche[/re]: Eh I don’t read anything I write either.

    I probably should’ve googled just to make sure his wife isn’t literally retarded, but I don’t own the google CD-ROM…

  6. One Yield Regular

    Must not have received the memo from John Boehner, as I’m sure that after the Joe Wilson incident, Boehner would have warned his colleagues that there would be zero tolerance for outbursts of that sort in “the People’s House.” He DID send a memo, didn’t he?

  7. Mustang

    These guys have to be very careful. I think they are counting a bit too heavily on their campaign tactic of shouting “UNBORN CHILD” like a swarm of obsessed robots. Show me a person with a child with a serious chronic illness, and I’ll show you a one-issue voter. Show me a pregnant woman who’s looking for a job, and I’ll show you a one-issue voter. And why did this guy call his wife “Denim?”

  8. thefrontpage

    “BABY SEAL KILLER!”

    That’s what he should have yelled. Just to mess with people’s heads, man.

  9. One Yield Regular

    Just watched that to the end, where his unfortunately named web site address is provided.

    I’ll BET he is.

  10. Marxist-Leninist Papist

    The Government take over your lives is the abominations of desolations. The daily, victorious take over over our lives by Corporations=America Rueelz ! USA,USA!

  11. BlueStateLibtard

    But he forget the “send me the moniez!” That wife though–looks like she’s going to crack him over the head with a frying pan any minute.

  12. Monsieur Grumpe

    Sigh. It looks like these Republican out bursts are here to stay.
    I’m guessing the next thing to get yelled will be “Nose picker!”

  13. Mista Eko

    Please elect me and I promise to shout “SMALL PENIS” every time the Republicans try to filibuster.

  14. Lascauxcaveman

    C’mon, you insensitive bastards. Let’s have a little sympathy for the wife. She has a congenital condition called “shifty nervous-eyes when having to stand too close to a shitsack like her husband.”

    You wouldn’t be larfing it it so, if it happened to you.

    (Also happens a lot to regretful fag-hags, beards, etc. See your divorce lawyer if symptoms persist.)

  15. Apocalyptic Supermarket

    [re=538690]One Yield Regular[/re]: At least Boehner’s web site people had the sense to avoid that one. Unfortunately, this guy’s stupid is so dense it has its own gravity.

  16. Marxist-Leninist Papist

    [re=538715]weejee[/re]: Its not our country any more. But then again, it was never our country to begin with.

  17. Pithaughn

    maybe they should try not lying ever single fucking time they open their pie holes. “Government Take over of your individual health care” . If only!! I want the government to take over my health care you fucking retards. this compromise without even a public option should have you creaming your shorts; if by chance you still have a prostrate gland. He can’t get through even a short little puff video without saying one thing that has any truth to it. What is going on in these districts that elect sub intellect cretins like this? Tell me god dammit. Are there just not enough electable people? Is everyone working 3 jobs to stave off bankruptcy for a few more months?

  18. SlouchingTowardsWasilla

    I thought all those Republican women were required to practice the adoring wife stare a la Nancy Reagan. Maybe that doesn’t apply to retarded Republican wives.

  19. Jumping Jim

    I bet if you stick a quarter in his wife’s ass her eyes would spin like a one armed bandit.

  20. freakishlystrong

    Please, let the Government takeover these cultish assholes. And also their talking points and shifty eyed wives, oh Lord on a socialist highway.

  21. Tommmcatt

    Is it just me or has the entire House of Representatives been taken over by yahoos and compete raving yobs with no sense of proportion or decorum whatsoever?

    Nancy excepted, of course. Kinda.

  22. loquaciousmusic

    [re=538757]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Sorry, I meant “Some People.” I’m still drinking to celebrate the passage of health care reform — what can I say?

  23. coolcatdaddy

    This video screams for the music of Lawrence Welk in the background.

    “Wonnnerful, wonnnerful….”

  24. Limeylizzie

    I think she has a vaginal itch, I suspect she just needs to get down in her panties and just have at it.

  25. freakishlystrong

    [re=538682]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: I’m suffering a terrible cold, in my chest now.
    I just read that, and did that old man laughing thing..hahahahahahahahheeeeeeeeehnnnngggggnnn and then a phlemy, deep coughing spasm that I’ve only now recovered from. Thank you.

  26. MzNicky

    [re=538673]Buzz Feedback[/re]: Perhaps that’s what she’s doing during this video? That would explain the darting eyeballs.

  27. MzNicky

    [re=538718]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: “(Also happens a lot to regretful fag-hags, beards, etc. See your divorce lawyer if symptoms persist.)”

    By George, I think you’ve got it.

  28. Tuna Industry Payback

    So that’s why Texans talk like that! They never open their lips more than a quarter of an inch – t’keep the dust from blowin in, ah reckon.

  29. Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=538755]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: no, actually noogiebooger made me laugh harder than noogieburger for some reason. nevermind.

  30. Lucidamente

    Wikipedia’s entry on Neugebauer’s district. Be sure you’re sitting down when you read it:

    “Texas’ Nineteenth Congressional District of the United States House of Representatives is a Congressional district that serves the upper midwestern portion of the state of Texas The district includes portions of the State from Lubbock to Abilene. The current Representative from the 19th District is Republican Randy Neugebauer.

    “District 19′s current boundaries were drawn up during the controversial 2003 Texas State Legislature Redistricting made famous by the so-called Texas Eleven. The district was redrawn in such a way that two Congressional incumbents, Neugebauer and Democrat Charlie Stenholm, were pitted against one another in the 2004 Congressional elections. Neugebauer won with over 58% of the vote.”

  31. Jukesgrrl

    Rep. Randy’s Wiki entry explains it all. “Neugebauer has long been involved in the real estate business, having served as president of the development company Lubbock Land before his election to Congress. He was also the president of the state Homebuilders Association from 1996 to 1997.”

    In other words, it’s in the personal financial interest of this Baptist deacon that all of us have as many babies as possible.

    And BTW, his wife’s name translated to Standard American English is “Dana.” “Please contribute ginerously to mah campaign so Dinna can go to the Nancy Reagan School of Staring Adoringly at One’s Spouse — that would be yers truly, ha ha — and learn to stop those annoyin’ eye movements!”

  32. Country Club Jihadi

    I think I have that top Dana is wearing. That shit is going to Goodwill to-nizight!

  33. Mr Blifil

    Noogiegoober’s wife looks catatonic. Like Laura Bush. Laura Bush had a nickname. “Chode Hound.” Wait, no, what the fuck was it…”Pickles.” Get it? “Pickles?” Coincidence?

    I think not.

  34. Shaggypixel

    We know how he feels about the unborn, clearly, but how does he feel about the undead?

    They have rights too, sir!

  35. octupletsmom

    See, I have nearsighted middle-aged eyes, and I read your caption as “shitty eyes”, which actually made more sense. (I have kind of shitty eyesight, but not “shitty eyes”, for the record.)

  36. Zorg

    The wife definitely looks like a predatory animal scouting for a meal. I wonder what would happen if a large moth, perhaps a specimen of a Saturnid such as Actias luna, were to be released in her vicinity during during the taping of a subsequent campaign spot?

  37. Veritas78

    What is up with the “no lips” trait of Republicanism? Are they hacked off at birth, like foreskins? Or are calipers used in voter registration? In any case, HOW DO THEY KISS?!?!?

    Saves on lipstick, I guess. That gila monster must still be using the dusty tube she had in eighth grade.

  38. funkyj

    Can moveon.org start a special fund for campaigning against these uncivil shouters? I would contribute $5 / month in perpetuity to defeat these guys re-elections.

  39. Tommmcatt

    [re=538819]Veritas78[/re]:

    It’s not so much a “kiss” as a kind of grafting of the…well, never mind, I’m sick already.

  40. sati demise

    [re=538820]funkyj[/re]: …colorofchange has already started a petition to Mr. Steele to address this yellin racist homerotic spittin’ and cussin’

  41. Berkeley Bear

    [re=538734]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: They don’t get the killer Cali weed like Nancy did. Y’know, the stuff she kept the street price low on by scaring all the kiddies with her just say no crap?

  42. Berkeley Bear

    Since the South has a long history of supporting grifters from both parties(Huey Long, Tom DeLay, ect), and turning false claims about “gentility” and “breaches of decorum” into excuses to go nuts/beat the shit out of people in public (Preston Brooks caning Senator Charles Sumner, getting expelled then becoming the toast of the South and getting re-elected is the best, but surely not the only, example), I assume the Gohmert/Neuberger/Wison/Foxx “No I’m the craziest, most insensitive jackass, so give me your money” derby will move into the physical threats/altercation stage shortly. Just to keep the graft – er, donations – flowing.

    Although if they come after Nancy while she’s got the Gavel of Doom, it might just be worth watching (on a loop, in slow motion).

  43. AddHomonym

    Randy sez (at about 1:00 with a sly, sly smile) “maybe” he will speak a little differently in the future, so there’s that, on the bright side.

  44. dijetlo

    Are we sure she’s not a zombie? I mean granted, she didn’t try to suck the meager gray matter from between the nugsters ears, or perhaps she already has drained that proverbial swamp. Still, that type of random ocular activity is widely associated with animated corpses.

  45. Tyroanee

    *Smack *smack* Lip gloss check~shifting of the eyes~ once again`shifting… umm does anyone believe this jack-ass or his obviously drug induced wife?
    OMG this woman looks like a crack head waiting for her neck smack. Wow it’s good to know this guy is watching out for the unborn while he is killing the living.
    Welcome to the RNC.

  46. Johnny Zhivago

    This afternoon I received an email from my Republitard congressperson – announcing shock and dismay over HCR being signed. He said would start working IMMEDIATELY on repeal.

    So I call his office to voice my concern. The staffer says “don’t worry, he’s not planning to do anything, he just has to say this because a tea partier is running against him in the primary”.

  47. ladymacbeth

    can someone please make a film of the good bits of dana shifty eyes? man, she’d give demon sheep a run for the money.

    and dana WITH demon sheep…

  48. foog

    mealy-mouthed lying child molesting sack of shit.

    …oh, I’m sorry. Maybe you didn’t hear me correctly. I said “THIS FUNDRAISING CAMPAIGN is a mealy-mouthed lying child molesting sack of shit.” Yeah, that’s it.

  49. WesternCorrespondent

    Dana Noogieburger had just been waterboarded, that’s why she looked like that, scared shitless of the guys just out of camera range with the black hood and pitcher of water.

  50. gradgrind

    “Suppose you were married to a sheep. Suppose you were a GOP Congressman. But I repeat myself. . . .”

  51. Smoke Filled Roommate

    I’m thinking she was reading some prompts (cue cards/teleprompter?) but didn’t know they were going with a wide shot to include her? Weird. Makes me think there was a librul with a sense of humor (imagine!) involved somewhere.

  52. joementum

    Hello dumb-ass, unborn children do not have a voice. Their little throats are full of amniotic fluid. Duhhhhh!

  53. joementum

    [re=538785]Lucidamente[/re]: My god, this is the home of Buddy Holly. And the Flatlanders.
    How this douche defiles everything they fought and gave their lives for.

    I think he looks a bit like Darth Cheney myself.

  54. Escape Goat Nation

    This is kind of mean, but his wife reminded me of the retarded kids they put in commercials. You know, like they have some celebrity speaking on behalf of a mentally handicapped money raising organization with some retarded kid standing next to them. Blank expression with their eyes looking allover the place. But she was even worse because she said nothing and didn’t even high-five her husband at the end of the commercial like she’s supposed to.

  55. Radiotherapy

    [re=538854]ladymacbeth[/re]: Eye yie yie yie eye, 100% with you, we need someone with the videography skilz. Put a pair of coke bottom glasses on her…
    She’s got an op-tic!
    Maybe it won’t be so funny when we find out she has a brain tumor….
    hahaha, maybe this world class ass clown should take his fucking retarded spouse to that Medicaid Goldcard House Doctor.

  56. O_o

    In her defense, the uncontrollably shifty eyes started on their honeymoon, moments after she realized she would be spending the rest of her life with the last name “Neugebauer”.

  57. Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=538884]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: I think he told her to ‘watch the birdie’ and then she laughed, farted loudly and said “Goo!” all of which was, of course, edited.

  58. Aurelio

    Noogie talks about the government taking over healthcare, but that’s not what happened. It’s the other way around: health care has taken over the government–by subsidizing politicians like, well, ol’ Noog there. And, sadly, President Obama himself.

  59. Delicious

    God Bless the NUGE!

    “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang

    “Wang dang, what a sweet poontang
    a shakin’ my thang as a rang-a-dang-dang in the bell

    “She’s so sweet when she yanks on my meat
    Down on the street you know she can’t be beat
    What the hell

    Wang Dang Sweet Poontang”

  60. NYNYNY

    In her defense, don’t know if some one mentioned this already, she is clearly just reading the teleprompter (for first time)

    P.s. logic question: we have all these congressmen dedicated to saving lives of unborn, why don’t the unborn count as people, via congressional districts and so on? I mean, one train of logic would say, every impregnated ovary should count as a person in a state; another train would say every sperm in every man’s nut sack should count as a separate person, given biblical law (the only tru law??) etc etc?

  61. Aurelio

    [re=538870]FilthyMilk[/re]: She was just reading the teleprompter!

    I got that impression, too. It was as if she were reading the script through Randy. You know, she reads, but he says the words.

  62. justthisonce

    C’mon guys, maybe her eyes go googly moogly because she’s BLIND. What am I saying, “maybe?” Looking at him she must at least be farsighted.

  63. justthisonce

    [re=538897]NYNYNY[/re]: I guess your logic is sound. I’m gonna add the sperm to my census form.

  64. Aurelio

    [re=538897]NYNYNY[/re]:
    I mean, one train of logic would say, every impregnated ovary should count as a person in a state.
    Great! More mandatory customers for Aetna and New York Life! Of course, as an embryo, you wouldn’t be able to pay your premiums yourself, soyour parents could could do it for you for a while. It would be like a student loan. You know, “get conceived now, pay later.”

  65. Darkness

    Only in the fuctardian minds of republicans can Government Owns Every Uterus = Small Government/Government Leaves People Alone to Lead Own Lives.

  66. Radiotherapy

    [re=538887]El Pinche[/re]: From the bottom of my Constitutional Gilded Myocardium ….I thank you. Could you imagine being with that ocuspasm?
    The only other thing I was thinking was a pair of those yenta glasses like DeNiro wore at the very end of Casino.

  67. Aurelio

    [re=538908]Darkness[/re]: The Fuctardian resolution of this paradox is to say that abortion = murder, and murder is an exception to Government Leaves People Alone because murder = aggression = initiating force, and “Don’t Initiate Force” is the only principle of morality.

    I am not endorsing this idea. Just saying what the Fuctards would say. It’s part of their schtick</I..

  68. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Ah, just when I thought it is possible that the GOP has discovered shame again….

    And what the Hell is with his wife? Was the camera man wearing something shiny

  69. gurukalehuru

    In defense of this seemingly retarded couple: that’s the way Dana is pronounced in Slavic countries. Short A. And she was obviously reading the teleprompter. So was he, but he’s more practiced at it. Almost presidential.

  70. NJB

    Pity the poor spouses of these imbeciles. He shouts out “baby killer”, we all point and laugh and walk away. But she has to deal with the cretinous buffoon every single day up close. No wonder they had to liquor her up to appear with that puffy faced fuckwad – ’cause, really – she looks totally juiced to me.

  71. WideStance

    [re=538887]El Pinche[/re]: Excellent. It would be perfect if it included the lip-lick at 0:58, perhaps immediately preceded by a superimposed moth, as suggested by Zorg.

  72. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=538781]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: Apologies. What I said came out wrong (I forgot to add the obligatory winky emoticon, which would have clarified but messed up the following commenter’s comment). Hope I didn’t offend.

  73. Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

    Fuck her eyes, people. WHERE ARE THE REST OF THE NUGSTER’S BOTTOM TEETH?

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