Barack Obama Was Reading ‘Pickles’ In Sunday Funnies

  impeach him for this

'Pickles' is about a retarded kid who finds a vibrator somewhere.
First we told you Barack Obama is just standing around looking at the Sunday comics section instead of, you know, FIGHTING BACK, or whatever. And you did nothing. But now, with the sleuthing help of Wonkette operative “Drew P.”, we can reveal the staggering truth behind the Obama Deception: He is just cold reading Pickles, which is Not Cool.

JFK read Ian Fleming books and then went down to the pool to bang Hollywood starlets, and kill Nazis or whatever they had back then. SMERSH. Anyway, the more you know, an empowered electorate, & etc. [EARLIER COVERAGE: MUST CREDIT WONKETTE]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

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83 comments

  1. Lascauxcaveman

    I know this is ‘damning with faint praise’ and all, but Pickles is one of your better comics these days, considering the main theme is how prickly, snarky and adorable old people are.

  2. gurukalehuru

    With a slightly different intonation than super awesome vice president Joe Biden: Big Fucking Deal

  3. slappypaddy

    context, plz. was he “reading” pickles? or did he simply have the page opened to pickles? i was a journalism student in high school, so i have every reason to believe my question is pertinent.

  4. Come here a minute

    There is another strip running down the right side in the layout of the Washington Post Sunday comics. Check your recycle bin, Newell.

  5. gurukalehuru

    btw, I have no idea what this “Pickles” comic is all about. Where is it on the Family Circus-Calvin and Hobbes scale, C and H being a 10?

  6. Cranky Little Camperette

    Screw youse guys. “Pickles” makes me laugh. Reminds me of my parents.

  7. Marxist-Leninist Papist

    There must be a rational explanation for this. Maybe he is studying the olds and their ways, trying to figure who lives or who dies in new death panels of scariness. OR better yet, he is thinking of establishing a death panel for cartoons. That would be another great leap forward on the path towards workers paradise, because, obviously, we proletarian-revolutionaries don’t take kindly lame, already dead people and all their wrinkled ass shit.

  8. Whitey Did Katrina

    Can we get Fruhlinger to settle the is Pickles funny or not issue? I think we will all respect his decision.

  9. The Station Manager

    There will always be a Pickles in the White House. It’s in the constitution.

  10. Gorillionaire

    I followed the link to Big Hollywood and got to participate in a survey. I swear, this whole day has been a blast, thanks to Wonkette and links and bogus petitions and fake names and lewd Q&A. Thank you.

  11. Lascauxcaveman

    Whoa! Cosmic comix convergence: as I was typing my previous comment above, I took a call at work. Name on caller I.D.? “Opal.” Should I be getting paranoid? If I run into a 9-year-old named “Nelson,” anytime soon, I think I will.

    [re=538543]gurukalehuru[/re]: 5, maybe 6.

  12. Marxist-Leninist Papist

    [re=538552]magic titty[/re]: Or Beetle Bailey. That would not bode well for the continuance of the reasonable equilibrium of our current non-peace in the Middle East.

  13. Sweet Baby Cheeses

    I think Pickles is the gateway drug that leads to Crankshaft and eventually, Pluggers.

  14. DeLand DeLakes

    [re=538525]MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend[/re]: As if. The Comics Curmudgeon won’t even touch that shit. Some things are too unfunny for even Josh to eviscerate.

  15. Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=538566]Sweet Baby Cheeses[/re]: Which leads to a full-blown case of Momma.

  16. What? No!

    I think it’s a Rosetta stone of sorts; left hand side Pickles, right hand side John McCain press release.

  17. BrownL

    To be fair, Pickles only takes up three horizontal panels. There is another comic running vertically down the right-hand side of the page. Doonesbury? Non-sequitur?

  18. Sweet Baby Cheeses

    [re=538580]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: And then you will be found laughing at those greeting cards with the grumpy old lady doing and saying all those HAHAHA funny old lady things.

  19. libwakman

    Tis’ better than perusing Pickle Dick the Batcrazy Fucking Teabagger. Available at GOP HQ, courtesy of Michael Limp Pickle Dick Steele.

  20. Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=538593]Sweet Baby Cheeses[/re]: A case of Momma is specific. You definitely wouldn’t laugh at any Maxine cards. Maxine is the enemy clone. Only Momma will do.

  21. Jukesgrrl

    Hey, he lives with his mother-in-law. He has to have something he can talk to her about.

  22. Sweet Baby Cheeses

    [re=538605]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: Maxine, right. UGH. A case of Momma might be curable, but Maxine, not so much.

  23. Come here a minute

    [re=538536]Come here a minute[/re]: [re=538609]CthuNHu[/re]: The last few frames of this Doonesbury are also visible, which makes a lot more sense.

  24. Hieronymus Botch

    [re=538555]SmutBoffin[/re]: How long until these old ladies get sent to the death panels?

  25. S.Luggo

    [re=538555]SmutBoffin[/re]: I love the merry hi-jinks of candidates for end-of-life counselling.

  26. OzoneTom

    He should schedule some time for a regular radio show where he reads Pickles to us and describes what is happening in the pictures. I would like that.

  27. slappypaddy

    [re=538609]CthuNHu[/re]: it is a series of metaphors for the obama administration and the current state of american politics. there is nothing accidental going on around the big-eared fellow with the funny name.

  28. thefrontpage

    What many people don’t realize is that the comic strip “Pickles” is written, published, drawn and distributed by the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency, or CIA, and contains many hidden codes and ciphers transmitting very important federal, military, public safety, law enforcement, intelligence, homeland security and defense intelligence information. Many people don’t realize this and are afraid to say anything because they fear that operatives will co ;alj;a;lk j;akdkja;lkd lajlf adl;klaj REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED. REDACTED..

  29. Chet Kincaid

    Why can’t we see the damned comic that Hopey was reading in an orientation that we can read ourselves, since you’ve found the exact one?!

  30. richardwb1

    “I don’t want a pickle.
    I just wanna ride my motor sickle.”

    Yeah, Hammer and Sickle! Haha.

    (Nazi pigs fuck off and die)

  31. desertwind

    Mystery solved! He was reading Sherman’s Lagoon (whatever that is).

    From Gene Weingarten’s chat today (yeah, I know…)

    Shortly after passage of the Health Care bill, I got an e-mail from Garry Trudeau. It was very simple. Garry linked to a news photo, and wrote only this: “Look to the left of his watch.”

    Yes, folks, just to put things in perspective. At the transcendent moment of his new presidency, the commander in chief of the Western World was getting inspiration from the Washington Post Sunday Funnies. For the record, it is open to “Doonesbury,” “Pickles,” and “Sherman’s Lagoon.”

    Garry Trudeau must credit Wonkette!!!

  32. Godot

    This blatant partisanship WILL NOT STAND!

    An objective analysis of the original photo will confirm that, while the funnies were open to Pickles, Obama was not smiling or laughing!

    I demand a retraction.

  33. Mr Blifil

    BREAKING: Holy shit Wonkett, I cracked it…he’s reading Pickles, see…Pickles…In the Oval Office…what other famous “Pickles” spent time in the Oval Office, see?…”Pickles”…Laura Fucking Bush, that’s who, her nickname was “pickles,” see…OBAMA IS FUCKING LAURA BUSH AND THIS IS HIS WAY OF TELLING HER THAT EVEN FREE HEALTHCARE FOR ALL WON’T ENDANGER THEIR LOVE

  34. Come here a minute

    [re=538728]richardwb1[/re]:
    And I don’t want to die
    I just want to ride on my motorcy
    Cle

  35. Escape Goat Nation

    Well damn. I think the Tea Buggers have finally found their grounds for impeachment.

  36. Josh Fruhlinger

    Can’t believe I missed the GREAT OBAMA CARTOON DEBATE OF 2010, here on my exotic vacation! For the record, Pickles is so painfully bland to me that I can’t even bring myself to read it for my cruel mocking pleasure. It doesn’t even suck, is the thing, it’s just kidn of there. My mom loves it, though!

  37. King of the Dipshits

    I guess this means the New York Times will have to get over itself and start carrying Pickles if it wants to maintain its claim of being the paper of record.

  38. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=538855]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]: See, Josh? SEE!?! This is what happens when you go on extended vacays; which is … what? Five or six times per year?

    Seriously, dude. If Uncle Lumpy was any good at all, he would have replaced you in our hearts looong ago.

  39. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=538883]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Apologies to Unlcle Lumpy; that was an unfair and graceless thing for me to say. You actually are a pretty damn good sub for Josh.

    (Which is another reason Josh shouldn’t leave the shop too long…)

  40. Pat Pending

    In my paper, LuAnn is just above Pickles, so I suspect POTUS is just catching up on the exciting West Side Story story line at Pitts High School. Will LuAnn get any tongue when she kisses Quill??? Will this knock her untrained uvula down to her diaphragm?? I know Hopey wants ta know!

  41. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Wait. Obama is reading the Post‘s comic page? And strips own by the Post‘s syndicate? This means he must secretly be planning to bomb Iran!

  42. Long Form Def Certificate

    Prepare for the next Comics Curmudgeon, where many a right-wing editorial cartoonist will demonstrate the immense failure of the health-care reform by having the President’s hand stuck in a pickle jar.

    This post is just Wonkette trying to make future posts easier.

  43. GOPCrusher

    Pickles is awesome, but then I can relate to it since I’m old.
    At least he wasn’t wearing a purple bracelet.

  44. Magnus Maximus

    Pickles is a vehicle the Illuminati/aliens/Federal Reserve use to send coded instructions to world leaders. So don’t worry, it’s all part of the Plan.

  45. agentstinky

    The Pickles strip he’s reading has the word “weed” in it. BONGRIP OBONGA STRIKES AGAIN

Comments are closed.