'Pickles' is about a retarded kid who finds a vibrator somewhere.
First we told you Barack Obama is just standing around looking at the Sunday comics section instead of, you know, FIGHTING BACK, or whatever. And you did nothing. But now, with the sleuthing help of Wonkette operative “Drew P.”, we can reveal the staggering truth behind the Obama Deception: He is just cold reading Pickles, which is Not Cool.

JFK read Ian Fleming books and then went down to the pool to bang Hollywood starlets, and kill Nazis or whatever they had back then. SMERSH. Anyway, the more you know, an empowered electorate, & etc. [EARLIER COVERAGE: MUST CREDIT WONKETTE]

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  1. I know this is ‘damning with faint praise’ and all, but Pickles is one of your better comics these days, considering the main theme is how prickly, snarky and adorable old people are.

  2. context, plz. was he “reading” pickles? or did he simply have the page opened to pickles? i was a journalism student in high school, so i have every reason to believe my question is pertinent.

  3. There is another strip running down the right side in the layout of the Washington Post Sunday comics. Check your recycle bin, Newell.

  4. btw, I have no idea what this “Pickles” comic is all about. Where is it on the Family Circus-Calvin and Hobbes scale, C and H being a 10?

  5. There must be a rational explanation for this. Maybe he is studying the olds and their ways, trying to figure who lives or who dies in new death panels of scariness. OR better yet, he is thinking of establishing a death panel for cartoons. That would be another great leap forward on the path towards workers paradise, because, obviously, we proletarian-revolutionaries don’t take kindly lame, already dead people and all their wrinkled ass shit.

  6. I followed the link to Big Hollywood and got to participate in a survey. I swear, this whole day has been a blast, thanks to Wonkette and links and bogus petitions and fake names and lewd Q&A. Thank you.

  7. Whoa! Cosmic comix convergence: as I was typing my previous comment above, I took a call at work. Name on caller I.D.? “Opal.” Should I be getting paranoid? If I run into a 9-year-old named “Nelson,” anytime soon, I think I will.

    [re=538543]gurukalehuru[/re]: 5, maybe 6.

  8. [re=538552]magic titty[/re]: Or Beetle Bailey. That would not bode well for the continuance of the reasonable equilibrium of our current non-peace in the Middle East.

  9. [re=538525]MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend[/re]: As if. The Comics Curmudgeon won’t even touch that shit. Some things are too unfunny for even Josh to eviscerate.

  10. To be fair, Pickles only takes up three horizontal panels. There is another comic running vertically down the right-hand side of the page. Doonesbury? Non-sequitur?

  11. [re=538580]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: And then you will be found laughing at those greeting cards with the grumpy old lady doing and saying all those HAHAHA funny old lady things.

  12. Tis’ better than perusing Pickle Dick the Batcrazy Fucking Teabagger. Available at GOP HQ, courtesy of Michael Limp Pickle Dick Steele.

  13. [re=538593]Sweet Baby Cheeses[/re]: A case of Momma is specific. You definitely wouldn’t laugh at any Maxine cards. Maxine is the enemy clone. Only Momma will do.

  14. He should schedule some time for a regular radio show where he reads Pickles to us and describes what is happening in the pictures. I would like that.

  15. [re=538609]CthuNHu[/re]: it is a series of metaphors for the obama administration and the current state of american politics. there is nothing accidental going on around the big-eared fellow with the funny name.

  16. What many people don’t realize is that the comic strip “Pickles” is written, published, drawn and distributed by the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency, or CIA, and contains many hidden codes and ciphers transmitting very important federal, military, public safety, law enforcement, intelligence, homeland security and defense intelligence information. Many people don’t realize this and are afraid to say anything because they fear that operatives will co ;alj;a;lk j;akdkja;lkd lajlf adl;klaj REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED. REDACTED..

  17. Why can’t we see the damned comic that Hopey was reading in an orientation that we can read ourselves, since you’ve found the exact one?!

  18. Mystery solved! He was reading Sherman’s Lagoon (whatever that is).

    From Gene Weingarten’s chat today (yeah, I know…)

    Shortly after passage of the Health Care bill, I got an e-mail from Garry Trudeau. It was very simple. Garry linked to a news photo, and wrote only this: “Look to the left of his watch.”

    Yes, folks, just to put things in perspective. At the transcendent moment of his new presidency, the commander in chief of the Western World was getting inspiration from the Washington Post Sunday Funnies. For the record, it is open to “Doonesbury,” “Pickles,” and “Sherman’s Lagoon.”

    Garry Trudeau must credit Wonkette!!!

  19. This blatant partisanship WILL NOT STAND!

    An objective analysis of the original photo will confirm that, while the funnies were open to Pickles, Obama was not smiling or laughing!

    I demand a retraction.

  20. BREAKING: Holy shit Wonkett, I cracked it…he’s reading Pickles, see…Pickles…In the Oval Office…what other famous “Pickles” spent time in the Oval Office, see?…”Pickles”…Laura Fucking Bush, that’s who, her nickname was “pickles,” see…OBAMA IS FUCKING LAURA BUSH AND THIS IS HIS WAY OF TELLING HER THAT EVEN FREE HEALTHCARE FOR ALL WON’T ENDANGER THEIR LOVE

  21. Can’t believe I missed the GREAT OBAMA CARTOON DEBATE OF 2010, here on my exotic vacation! For the record, Pickles is so painfully bland to me that I can’t even bring myself to read it for my cruel mocking pleasure. It doesn’t even suck, is the thing, it’s just kidn of there. My mom loves it, though!

  22. I guess this means the New York Times will have to get over itself and start carrying Pickles if it wants to maintain its claim of being the paper of record.

  23. [re=538855]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]: See, Josh? SEE!?! This is what happens when you go on extended vacays; which is … what? Five or six times per year?

    Seriously, dude. If Uncle Lumpy was any good at all, he would have replaced you in our hearts looong ago.

  24. [re=538883]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Apologies to Unlcle Lumpy; that was an unfair and graceless thing for me to say. You actually are a pretty damn good sub for Josh.

    (Which is another reason Josh shouldn’t leave the shop too long…)

  25. In my paper, LuAnn is just above Pickles, so I suspect POTUS is just catching up on the exciting West Side Story story line at Pitts High School. Will LuAnn get any tongue when she kisses Quill??? Will this knock her untrained uvula down to her diaphragm?? I know Hopey wants ta know!

  26. Wait. Obama is reading the Post‘s comic page? And strips own by the Post‘s syndicate? This means he must secretly be planning to bomb Iran!

  27. Prepare for the next Comics Curmudgeon, where many a right-wing editorial cartoonist will demonstrate the immense failure of the health-care reform by having the President’s hand stuck in a pickle jar.

    This post is just Wonkette trying to make future posts easier.

  28. Pickles is a vehicle the Illuminati/aliens/Federal Reserve use to send coded instructions to world leaders. So don’t worry, it’s all part of the Plan.

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