WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE: Obama Maybe Reading Funny Pages (MUST CREDIT WONKETTE)

  john edwards baby spy cam

At least Clinton kept his jacket on when Monica was sucking him off.
Oh just another White House Flickr picture of Barack Obama desecrating the Oval Office by not wearing his suit jacket, same old scene, mysterious white guy on the couch overseeing everything, nothing to see here, right? WRONG. Wonkette operative “Lily E.” instructs us to look just to the left of Obama’s wristwatch. No, not at his crotch, you pervs, but on the desk there. What is that?

'Ha ha, somebody died or got an abortion or whatever in For Better Or For Worse.'
Now the picture becomes clearer. Or bigger, actually. Because we zoomed in, which makes the picture bigger, somehow. And now we see this degenerate San Francisco radical maybe has the funnies on his desk? In our White House?

'Ha ha, grandma is a ghost in 'Family Circus' because I sent her to the Death Panel.'
Yep, definitely the comics. We thought Muslims all hated the cartoons! But what cartoon is this? We don’t know at all. Comics Curmudgeon, do you see the Muslin Crescent we’re shining over the coal smoke of Baltimore? That’s your signal to get to work, decipher this. Is Obama reading Zits? Mutts? Pluggers? (“Pluggers’ health care: Shoot Obama with old shotgun, then shoot self. — Thanks to Wayne in Shitstain, Texas.”)

UPDATE BREAKING ETC. It’s Pickles! Barack Obama reads Pickles. Here is the shocking photographic evidence.

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

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84 comments

  1. ManchuCandidate

    I would hope he preferred Calvin and Hobbes and Bloom County (if they were still around.) But damn I would be utterly disappointed if he’s a fan of Family Circus.

  2. AxmxZ

    Cue Republican outcry about how the tyrannical despotic socialist Muslin out to control every aspect of the American people is wasting the electorate’s time reading comics instead of working.

  3. rafflesinc

    [re=537961]pirate of blackwater[/re]: Gather up every paper in the DC area in the day or two before the shooting of the photo and compare the comic section in each paper to that in the photo. Where’s intern Riley?

  4. Chernobyl Soup

    Obama was simply searching for more health insurance horror stories to read to the caucus. Like how Garfield’s owner had to start screwing the vet to get that cat some healthcare.

  5. fork-wielding maniac

    [re=537965]Hot_Carl[/re]: you have to give it coordinates. didn’t you see blade runner?

  6. Dashboard_Buddha

    He reads the funnies, he’s left handed (so am I), and he makes thrumming noises when he’s playing with a toy light saber. I love this guy.

  7. Voyou Charmant

    nappyduggs says at 1:38 pm, March 23rd, 2010

    He’s totally reading The Boondocks.
    He’s totally reading The Boondocks.
    He’s totally reading The Boondocks.
    He’s totally reading The Boondocks.
    He’s totally reading The Boondocks.
    He’s totally reading The Boondocks.
    He’s totally reading The Boondocks.

  8. Ripley_in_CT

    I wonder if he has some Silly Putty, too, so he can press it onto the comics, get the reverse image on the putty, and then stretch it all out for funsies. Remember that?

  9. Scaggsville guy

    [re=537955]ManchuCandidate[/re]: What do you mean you don’t like Family Circus? What have you got against dead Grandfather ghosts floating around the house, and little retarded girls constantly mangling the English language because they’re retarded?

  10. JMP

    He’s probably reading whatever shit Mallard Fillmore is saying about hi, and going, “Ha ha, suck it wignuts; we got health reform now.”

  11. samsuncle

    The only thing Bush read was the instructions on the tube of anal lube that Cheney gave him.

  12. Mr Blifil

    Peanuts and The Lockharts are still in syndication even though the cartoonists are long deceased. Everyone knows that the end of a cartoonists life is rendered in death panels.

  13. Lucidamente

    [re=537992]samsuncle[/re]: Real Texans like Bush don’t use lube: lube’s for faggots.

  14. cheeto_jeebus

    That’s not a comic. It’s a graphic novel about the soul crushing ‘debate’ that led to today’s final triumph as told by Nancy and Sluggo. Marmaduke is the republican stand in. The denouement arrives just as Marmaduke is crapping all over the constitution, Nancy (Pelosi) grabs his collar and gives him a good yank and he sheepishly slinks off to sit in the corner and lick his nut sack. See, Prez is just keeping abreast of the current state of the visual arts.


  15. Post author
    Ken Layne

    [re=537961]pirate of blackwater[/re]: Nerd. [re=537965]Hot_Carl[/re]: Nerd. Nerd. Nerd.

    Actual transcript from Wonkette chat room a half-hour ago:

    Mar 23
    1:35 PM
    Jim N.
    that is some epic investigative reported journalism, of photos, ken

    Ken L.
    when you enlarge and sharpen and enhance enough, it really *does* look like the john edwards baby cam

    Ken L.
    or you can see the serial number on the cloned snake.

  16. fork-wielding maniac

    [re=538000]Lucidamente[/re]: lolz. bush is damn-near canadian by birth.

    cheney had to break him like any other steer/piece of ass.

  17. J.Robert Oppenheiner

    It could be NEXT Sunday’s comics. Presidents have ways of obtaining such things (and the color inserts are printed a few weeks in advance).

  18. coolcatdaddy

    He’s reading “Pluggers” to decide which of the olds gets sent to the Death Panels first. Also.

  19. Doglessliberal

    [re=538013]Ken Layne[/re]: oooh, I love when you show us the inner working of Teh Wonkette and its hive brain.

  20. JMP

    [re=537976]nappyduggs[/re]: Unfortunately, The Boondocks has been gone for years now, since McGruder abandoned the strip for the cartoon in 2006. A shame, really.

    [re=537989]Scaggsville guy[/re]: How can you now love the sweet familiarity of the Family Circus, or Garfield? It’s always fun to read a slight variation on one of the same five or six jokes, repeated ad nauseum. Oh, look how the dotted line shows the wacky route that scamp Billy took through the neighborhood!

  21. Lascauxcaveman

    First step in implementing Death Panels: Consult with Funky Winkerbean to get in the mood.

  22. Mad Brahms

    [re=538024]Doglessliberal[/re]: Way more transparent than the Politicave, they are, though less *unintentionally* funny.

    The giant green blotch of text… it almost looks like, er, Pickles? Really? Nah, can’t be.

  23. Doglessliberal

    [re=538047]Mad Brahms[/re]: Yes! Pickles is in the center of the Post comics’ front page. Zits above and Doonesbury below, so he was reading one of those….

  24. proudgrampa

    [re=538031]chowkster[/re]: I agree. Looks like lots of green (uniforms) with flesh-colors (heads) on top.

    [re=537995]gjdodger[/re]: LOL! FTW!

  25. pattycake

    Zounds! and this is at a time when Josh is on “vacation” and his comic-crime-fighting protege Uncle Lumpy is helming the Curmugeonry.

  26. predilectrix

    hmmm…crotch…. Damn it, Ken. Why do you make me dwell on sleek, limber, long-fingered form of our fine, upstanding president. Okay, thinking nice thoughts now about President Lincoln, FDR, and bunnies and nuns.

    hmmm….upstanding…

  27. Mad Brahms

    [re=538032]JMP[/re]: Every time I think of the dotted line, I remember the Cartuner gag from MST3K, where Family Circus got cross with The Far Side. “Oh look, there’s a little line showing where Billy got chased by anthropomorphic jackals!”

    [re=538036]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: It’s funny, because you were ever to look for death panels, Funky would be a good start. Because… death, panels? Panels? Please, put me out of my misery.

  28. Pompous Magnus

    It’s not the comics.

    You know those pamphlets in the seatback pocket on the airplane, the one with the illustrated “How to Get out of the Plane” thingy?

    The document on his desk is like that, except that it’s an illustrated step-by-step of how a Kenyan-Muslin-Socialist-AntiChrist-Communist-Fascist can destroy America and apple pie by providing affordable health insurance options.

  29. Way Cool Larry

    My guess is Pickles too. Which is much funnier than you would ever expect from the genre.

  30. JMP

    [re=538090]Doglessliberal[/re]: It would be nice to have some similarly attractive women in national politics for us straight men; but unfortunately the closest we get is some wives and daughters, probably because no women have made it to the top levels before they are old. (And no, conservatives, Palin is most definitely not hot).

  31. Joshua Norton

    That room really needs some perking up. It looks so cold and impersonal. Someone call in Christopher Lowell – Stat!

  32. Snarkalicious

    [re=537954]GoinGreen[/re]: mmm…that or one of the monthly reports Cheney had Chuck Assay work up for W so he’d feel ‘in the loop’ that got left under a sofa.

  33. Doglessliberal

    [re=538113]JMP[/re]: yeah, you have to look internationally. Though, truly, hotness is not a common characteristic among male or female politicians. We have a LOT of unprepossessing elected officials.

  34. Halfwit

    That big first pane splash just screams “Garfield.”

    No funny joke attached, just recognized the style.

  35. schvitzatura

    Obama is reviewing the latest Jack T. Chick tract that rails against him as the Great Deceiver/Antichrist/Whathaveyou, for having moved us one teeny tiny step closer to the “End Times”, you know, just for the lulz…

  36. nappyduggs

    [re=538032]JMP[/re]:

    Well, that explains why I haven’t read an actual newspaper since about that time. Yes. That is the reason.

  37. Capers

    Hey Wonkette, look again.

    That appears to be a colorful map, a layout, of somebody’s property. Perhaps it’s a map of the White House itself. Maybe a garden. Or the Armageddon shelter being constructed a mile beneath the Pentagon.

  38. Elephants Gerald

    [re=538103]Way Cool Larry[/re]: Thanks. I was thinking that, but afraid to say it.

  39. One Yield Regular

    Wild guess – it’s actually the first draft of the graphic novel version of the health care reform bill. Doesn’t EVERYTHING get turned into a graphic novel at some point?

  40. HuddledMass

    [re=538024]Doglessliberal[/re]: The inner workings of Wonkette’s hive-mind are beyond me, perhaps because I am an Old.
    I struggle to keep up, but then Ken Layne says, “or you can see the serial number on the cloned snake” and I’m just all WTF?

  41. Doglessliberal

    [re=538314]HuddledMass[/re]: sometimes you just have to let it wash over you and hope you absorb some of the wit, sort of like a sea anemone and food floating by. Or something.

  42. Pop Socket

    [re=538052]Doglessliberal[/re]: The Gene Weingarten chat confirmed that this is the WaPo comics section.

  43. AnnieGetYourFun

    Sorry, I never actually managed to look past his crotch. What are we all talking about? Crotch?

  44. OzoneTom

    He usually stashes the comics in a hidden compartment in the desk along with “The Book”…

  45. Beanball

    [re=538314]HuddledMass[/re]: Think Bladerunner. Boa feathers. Reptiles. Exotic dancers. Freelance Chinese biotechnologist clone makers. Ring any bells?

  46. Beanball

    [re=538314]HuddledMass[/re]: Admittedly, it’s an obscure reference. Took me about two minutes to get it. OTOH, Bladerunner was released in 1982, and I haven’t seen it but once again about 5 years ago, so, yeah, obscure.

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