JOHN EDWARDS BABY SPY CAM  1:29 pm March 23, 2010

WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE: Obama Maybe Reading Funny Pages (MUST CREDIT WONKETTE)

by Ken Layne

At least Clinton kept his jacket on when Monica was sucking him off.
Oh just another White House Flickr picture of Barack Obama desecrating the Oval Office by not wearing his suit jacket, same old scene, mysterious white guy on the couch overseeing everything, nothing to see here, right? WRONG. Wonkette operative “Lily E.” instructs us to look just to the left of Obama’s wristwatch. No, not at his crotch, you pervs, but on the desk there. What is that?

'Ha ha, somebody died or got an abortion or whatever in For Better Or For Worse.'
Now the picture becomes clearer. Or bigger, actually. Because we zoomed in, which makes the picture bigger, somehow. And now we see this degenerate San Francisco radical maybe has the funnies on his desk? In our White House?

'Ha ha, grandma is a ghost in 'Family Circus' because I sent her to the Death Panel.'
Yep, definitely the comics. We thought Muslims all hated the cartoons! But what cartoon is this? We don’t know at all. Comics Curmudgeon, do you see the Muslin Crescent we’re shining over the coal smoke of Baltimore? That’s your signal to get to work, decipher this. Is Obama reading Zits? Mutts? Pluggers? (“Pluggers’ health care: Shoot Obama with old shotgun, then shoot self. — Thanks to Wayne in Shitstain, Texas.”)

UPDATE BREAKING ETC. It’s Pickles! Barack Obama reads Pickles. Here is the shocking photographic evidence.

 
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Hola wonkerados.

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{ 84 comments }

GoinGreen March 23, 2010 at 1:32 pm

That’s just Barry’s weekly report from the right side of the aisle.

ManchuCandidate March 23, 2010 at 1:32 pm

I would hope he preferred Calvin and Hobbes and Bloom County (if they were still around.) But damn I would be utterly disappointed if he’s a fan of Family Circus.

Doglessliberal March 23, 2010 at 1:32 pm

Has to be last Sunday’s Doonesbury.

pirate of blackwater March 23, 2010 at 1:33 pm

Enhance.

AxmxZ March 23, 2010 at 1:33 pm

I’m offended. A real American would have Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader.

Hot_Carl March 23, 2010 at 1:34 pm

Enhance.

Enhance.

Enhance.

AxmxZ March 23, 2010 at 1:35 pm

Cue Republican outcry about how the tyrannical despotic socialist Muslin out to control every aspect of the American people is wasting the electorate’s time reading comics instead of working.

rafflesinc March 23, 2010 at 1:35 pm

[re=537961]pirate of blackwater[/re]: Gather up every paper in the DC area in the day or two before the shooting of the photo and compare the comic section in each paper to that in the photo. Where’s intern Riley?

fork-wielding maniac March 23, 2010 at 1:36 pm

they’re actually coupons. also.

Chernobyl Soup March 23, 2010 at 1:36 pm

Obama was simply searching for more health insurance horror stories to read to the caucus. Like how Garfield’s owner had to start screwing the vet to get that cat some healthcare.

Lucidamente March 23, 2010 at 1:37 pm

“Yes, I know, Joe, it is a big fucking deal.”

fork-wielding maniac March 23, 2010 at 1:38 pm

[re=537965]Hot_Carl[/re]: you have to give it coordinates. didn’t you see blade runner?

nappyduggs March 23, 2010 at 1:38 pm

He’s totally reading The Boondocks.

freakishlystrong March 23, 2010 at 1:39 pm

Hopefully, it’s an illustration of the alt texts.

Dashboard_Buddha March 23, 2010 at 1:41 pm

He reads the funnies, he’s left handed (so am I), and he makes thrumming noises when he’s playing with a toy light saber. I love this guy.

Voyou Charmant March 23, 2010 at 1:41 pm

nappyduggs says at 1:38 pm, March 23rd, 2010

He’s totally reading The Boondocks.
He’s totally reading The Boondocks.
He’s totally reading The Boondocks.
He’s totally reading The Boondocks.
He’s totally reading The Boondocks.
He’s totally reading The Boondocks.
He’s totally reading The Boondocks.

Ripley_in_CT March 23, 2010 at 1:42 pm

I wonder if he has some Silly Putty, too, so he can press it onto the comics, get the reverse image on the putty, and then stretch it all out for funsies. Remember that?

El Pinche March 23, 2010 at 1:43 pm

I have some family in Shitstain. They have nice Home Depot/Lowes (all 35 of them).

Scaggsville guy March 23, 2010 at 1:43 pm

[re=537955]ManchuCandidate[/re]: What do you mean you don’t like Family Circus? What have you got against dead Grandfather ghosts floating around the house, and little retarded girls constantly mangling the English language because they’re retarded?

JMP March 23, 2010 at 1:44 pm

He’s probably reading whatever shit Mallard Fillmore is saying about hi, and going, “Ha ha, suck it wignuts; we got health reform now.”

KilgoreTrout_XL March 23, 2010 at 1:44 pm

THIS IS A BIG FUCKING DEAL.

samsuncle March 23, 2010 at 1:44 pm

The only thing Bush read was the instructions on the tube of anal lube that Cheney gave him.

Mr Blifil March 23, 2010 at 1:46 pm

Peanuts and The Lockharts are still in syndication even though the cartoonists are long deceased. Everyone knows that the end of a cartoonists life is rendered in death panels.

gjdodger March 23, 2010 at 1:46 pm

It’s Rex Morgan, M.D. Rex is in Bankruptcy Court, and Hopey is laughing his ass off.

Joshua Norton March 23, 2010 at 1:47 pm

Actually, that’s a copy of the Repug’s alternative health plan.

Lucidamente March 23, 2010 at 1:47 pm

[re=537992]samsuncle[/re]: Real Texans like Bush don’t use lube: lube’s for faggots.

TGY March 23, 2010 at 1:48 pm

This is how the president is briefed ever since W.

cheeto_jeebus March 23, 2010 at 1:48 pm

That’s not a comic. It’s a graphic novel about the soul crushing ‘debate’ that led to today’s final triumph as told by Nancy and Sluggo. Marmaduke is the republican stand in. The denouement arrives just as Marmaduke is crapping all over the constitution, Nancy (Pelosi) grabs his collar and gives him a good yank and he sheepishly slinks off to sit in the corner and lick his nut sack. See, Prez is just keeping abreast of the current state of the visual arts.

Doglessliberal March 23, 2010 at 1:50 pm

[re=537969]rafflesinc[/re]: it’s the Post.

El Pinche March 23, 2010 at 1:50 pm

[re=538000]Lucidamente[/re]: They use spit.

Ken Layne March 23, 2010 at 1:51 pm

[re=537961]pirate of blackwater[/re]: Nerd. [re=537965]Hot_Carl[/re]: Nerd. Nerd. Nerd.

Actual transcript from Wonkette chat room a half-hour ago:

Mar 23
1:35 PM
Jim N.
that is some epic investigative reported journalism, of photos, ken

Ken L.
when you enlarge and sharpen and enhance enough, it really *does* look like the john edwards baby cam

Ken L.
or you can see the serial number on the cloned snake.

SayItWithWookies March 23, 2010 at 1:51 pm

Pearls Before Swine would be fitting.

fork-wielding maniac March 23, 2010 at 1:51 pm

[re=538000]Lucidamente[/re]: lolz. bush is damn-near canadian by birth.

cheney had to break him like any other steer/piece of ass.

J.Robert Oppenheiner March 23, 2010 at 1:51 pm

It could be NEXT Sunday’s comics. Presidents have ways of obtaining such things (and the color inserts are printed a few weeks in advance).

coolcatdaddy March 23, 2010 at 1:51 pm

He’s reading “Pluggers” to decide which of the olds gets sent to the Death Panels first. Also.

RoscoePColtraine March 23, 2010 at 1:52 pm

Pleated pants, Barry? Are you serious?

Doglessliberal March 23, 2010 at 1:53 pm

[re=538013]Ken Layne[/re]: oooh, I love when you show us the inner working of Teh Wonkette and its hive brain.

WadISay March 23, 2010 at 1:54 pm

I have so got to get a copy of Barry’s “Smoke Yourself Thin” diet.

MzNicky March 23, 2010 at 1:55 pm

Funny papers? Who cares?! Zoom in on Barry’s crotch, please.

chowkster March 23, 2010 at 1:55 pm

Beetle Bailey?

JMP March 23, 2010 at 1:56 pm

[re=537976]nappyduggs[/re]: Unfortunately, The Boondocks has been gone for years now, since McGruder abandoned the strip for the cartoon in 2006. A shame, really.

[re=537989]Scaggsville guy[/re]: How can you now love the sweet familiarity of the Family Circus, or Garfield? It’s always fun to read a slight variation on one of the same five or six jokes, repeated ad nauseum. Oh, look how the dotted line shows the wacky route that scamp Billy took through the neighborhood!

Lascauxcaveman March 23, 2010 at 1:57 pm

First step in implementing Death Panels: Consult with Funky Winkerbean to get in the mood.

Mad Brahms March 23, 2010 at 2:00 pm

[re=538024]Doglessliberal[/re]: Way more transparent than the Politicave, they are, though less *unintentionally* funny.

The giant green blotch of text… it almost looks like, er, Pickles? Really? Nah, can’t be.

Monsieur Grumpe March 23, 2010 at 2:01 pm

Oh please, don’t let it be Kathy.

Doglessliberal March 23, 2010 at 2:03 pm

[re=538047]Mad Brahms[/re]: Yes! Pickles is in the center of the Post comics’ front page. Zits above and Doonesbury below, so he was reading one of those….

S.Luggo March 23, 2010 at 2:04 pm

It’s the Koran Illustrated (R. Crumb).
http://www.rcrumb.com/files/naturalman.jpg

Rachel Ray Jihad March 23, 2010 at 2:04 pm

Pluggers might as well change its name to Baggers.

proudgrampa March 23, 2010 at 2:07 pm

[re=538031]chowkster[/re]: I agree. Looks like lots of green (uniforms) with flesh-colors (heads) on top.

[re=537995]gjdodger[/re]: LOL! FTW!

pattycake March 23, 2010 at 2:08 pm

Zounds! and this is at a time when Josh is on “vacation” and his comic-crime-fighting protege Uncle Lumpy is helming the Curmugeonry.

predilectrix March 23, 2010 at 2:09 pm

hmmm…crotch…. Damn it, Ken. Why do you make me dwell on sleek, limber, long-fingered form of our fine, upstanding president. Okay, thinking nice thoughts now about President Lincoln, FDR, and bunnies and nuns.

hmmm….upstanding…

Mad Brahms March 23, 2010 at 2:16 pm

[re=538032]JMP[/re]: Every time I think of the dotted line, I remember the Cartuner gag from MST3K, where Family Circus got cross with The Far Side. “Oh look, there’s a little line showing where Billy got chased by anthropomorphic jackals!”

[re=538036]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: It’s funny, because you were ever to look for death panels, Funky would be a good start. Because… death, panels? Panels? Please, put me out of my misery.

AxmxZ March 23, 2010 at 2:19 pm

[re=538066]predilectrix[/re]: It *is* a damn fine crotch.

Doglessliberal March 23, 2010 at 2:21 pm

[re=538089]AxmxZ[/re]: It is sightly disturbing to find our President so damn hot.

GOPCrusher March 23, 2010 at 2:21 pm

The Mooslim isn’t wearin a tie either, in the People’s Office.
The turrurists win!

Mull_Man March 23, 2010 at 2:23 pm

Forget the comics – the man is last century, horologically speaking…

Hooray For Anything March 23, 2010 at 2:24 pm

Mallard Fillmore?

Pompous Magnus March 23, 2010 at 2:30 pm

It’s not the comics.

You know those pamphlets in the seatback pocket on the airplane, the one with the illustrated “How to Get out of the Plane” thingy?

The document on his desk is like that, except that it’s an illustrated step-by-step of how a Kenyan-Muslin-Socialist-AntiChrist-Communist-Fascist can destroy America and apple pie by providing affordable health insurance options.

Way Cool Larry March 23, 2010 at 2:31 pm

My guess is Pickles too. Which is much funnier than you would ever expect from the genre.

Way Cool Larry March 23, 2010 at 2:32 pm

And.. it’s downright un-American to have a preznit with a tummy that flat

JMP March 23, 2010 at 2:35 pm

[re=538090]Doglessliberal[/re]: It would be nice to have some similarly attractive women in national politics for us straight men; but unfortunately the closest we get is some wives and daughters, probably because no women have made it to the top levels before they are old. (And no, conservatives, Palin is most definitely not hot).

Joshua Norton March 23, 2010 at 2:36 pm

That room really needs some perking up. It looks so cold and impersonal. Someone call in Christopher Lowell – Stat!

Snarkalicious March 23, 2010 at 2:36 pm

[re=537954]GoinGreen[/re]: mmm…that or one of the monthly reports Cheney had Chuck Assay work up for W so he’d feel ‘in the loop’ that got left under a sofa.

jus_wonderin March 23, 2010 at 2:40 pm

Sally Forth?

Doglessliberal March 23, 2010 at 2:42 pm

[re=538113]JMP[/re]: yeah, you have to look internationally. Though, truly, hotness is not a common characteristic among male or female politicians. We have a LOT of unprepossessing elected officials.

Halfwit March 23, 2010 at 2:46 pm

That big first pane splash just screams “Garfield.”

No funny joke attached, just recognized the style.

doloras March 23, 2010 at 2:48 pm

[re=538083]Mad Brahms[/re]: “Ziggy had Garfield neutered?! Now THAT’s funny!”

schvitzatura March 23, 2010 at 2:54 pm

Obama is reviewing the latest Jack T. Chick tract that rails against him as the Great Deceiver/Antichrist/Whathaveyou, for having moved us one teeny tiny step closer to the “End Times”, you know, just for the lulz…

nappyduggs March 23, 2010 at 3:00 pm

[re=538032]JMP[/re]:

Well, that explains why I haven’t read an actual newspaper since about that time. Yes. That is the reason.

Capers March 23, 2010 at 3:02 pm

Hey Wonkette, look again.

That appears to be a colorful map, a layout, of somebody’s property. Perhaps it’s a map of the White House itself. Maybe a garden. Or the Armageddon shelter being constructed a mile beneath the Pentagon.

Tommmcatt March 23, 2010 at 3:05 pm

[re=537955]ManchuCandidate[/re]:

Boondocks, is my thinking.

Elephants Gerald March 23, 2010 at 3:24 pm

[re=538103]Way Cool Larry[/re]: Thanks. I was thinking that, but afraid to say it.

One Yield Regular March 23, 2010 at 3:30 pm

Wild guess – it’s actually the first draft of the graphic novel version of the health care reform bill. Doesn’t EVERYTHING get turned into a graphic novel at some point?

HuddledMass March 23, 2010 at 3:49 pm

[re=538024]Doglessliberal[/re]: The inner workings of Wonkette’s hive-mind are beyond me, perhaps because I am an Old.
I struggle to keep up, but then Ken Layne says, “or you can see the serial number on the cloned snake” and I’m just all WTF?

Doglessliberal March 23, 2010 at 3:56 pm

[re=538314]HuddledMass[/re]: sometimes you just have to let it wash over you and hope you absorb some of the wit, sort of like a sea anemone and food floating by. Or something.

AxmxZ March 23, 2010 at 4:18 pm

[re=538314]HuddledMass[/re]: Perhaps he meant the ‘clothed snake’, or the PPOTUS…

Heywood Jahavethetime March 23, 2010 at 4:39 pm

Definitely Pickles, from last Sunday:
http://comics.com/pickles/2010-03-21/

bitchincamaro March 23, 2010 at 4:53 pm

Foolish Wonkette. That’s Malia’s desk.

Pop Socket March 23, 2010 at 5:21 pm

[re=538052]Doglessliberal[/re]: The Gene Weingarten chat confirmed that this is the WaPo comics section.

AnnieGetYourFun March 23, 2010 at 6:01 pm

Sorry, I never actually managed to look past his crotch. What are we all talking about? Crotch?

OzoneTom March 23, 2010 at 6:18 pm

He usually stashes the comics in a hidden compartment in the desk along with “The Book”…

Beanball March 23, 2010 at 8:15 pm

[re=538314]HuddledMass[/re]: Think Bladerunner. Boa feathers. Reptiles. Exotic dancers. Freelance Chinese biotechnologist clone makers. Ring any bells?

Beanball March 23, 2010 at 8:22 pm

[re=538314]HuddledMass[/re]: Admittedly, it’s an obscure reference. Took me about two minutes to get it. OTOH, Bladerunner was released in 1982, and I haven’t seen it but once again about 5 years ago, so, yeah, obscure.

missevans March 23, 2010 at 9:50 pm

This spot is just like that wonderful 70s (60s?) movie, Blowup.

PMADPGH March 24, 2010 at 1:45 pm

Mysterious white guy looks like Phil Schiliro, Obama’s top legislative liaison.

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