Oh boy guess what? The Teabaggers figured out a magical way to REPEAL the not-yet-signed Health Care Reform Bill. But does it require getting up off your fat fucking lard ass and turning away from the ‘puter for a moment? Not at all! And is it potentially effective, or even loosely based on American Democracy or the much-loved but never-read U.S. Constitution? Nope, not at all! Let’s do this thing.
The RedState/Malkin-endorsed Tea Party Patriots web-blog busts out this Legislative Weapon:
Repeal The Bill!
Step One: Sign the petition.
Step Two: Help get 1 million signatures by sharing with everyone on your facebook pages.
Step Three: Use the ‘I Signed The Petition’ image on your facebook and twitter profiles.
Yeah, uh … okay! We did it. So should you! Just sign your “name,” pick some zip code that “sounds good,” and you are officially on this Historical Petition, which will return health care to those who deserve it: rich people who wouldn’t let a teabagger clean their toilets … as soon as Federal Law can be overturned by an online petition, which we’re pretty sure happens next Thursday afternoon.
ALSO: This Tea Party Patriots appears to be some kind of ACORN/socialism thing? Look at the bottom of the website, and this is what is says:
Tea Party Patriots, Inc. operates as a social welfare organization organized under section 501(c)(4) of the Internal Revenue Code. Contributions to Tea Party Patriots, Inc. are not deductible as charitable contributions for income tax purposes.
Tea Party Patriots, Inc. (“TPP”) is a non-partisan, non-profit social welfare organization dedicated to furthering the common good and general welfare of the people of the United States.
Social welfare organization? General welfare of the people of the United States? NICE TRY SAUL ALINSKY/BARACK OBAMA WE ARE NOT SIGNING YOUR FEMA DEATH-CAMP RESERVATION LIST. [Tea Party Patriots via Wonkette operative "David D."]
{ 140 comments }
Do you think they’ll catch on to the fact that mytaint.com is not an actual domain name? (on second thought, it probably is)
Sounds like its time for the entire cast of the Mickey Mouse Club to stand up and do its part – - For America!!
Ah, the online petition, so beloved of nerds; and now apparently teabaggers. It should be just as successful in ending health care reform as it was in returning Firefly and Dollhouse to the air.
Step Four: Watch Glenn Beck. Masturbate.
“non profit” for the “common good”? It reeks of “social justice” to me
No place to add snappy comments. Fail!
Do worry, Mr Cock Chuggin’ from the great zipcode of 69420 is making his voice heard!
I signed as Heywood Jablowme.
I am a 40 year old man with children. I…I am filled with shame.
My penis got very sticky and sore signing the screen over and over.
Help get 1 million signatures by sharing with everyone on your facebook pages.
The problems with that are 1) they don’t have many friends and 2) the few they have are just like them and prolly already know about this. They’re as inbred as old-timey hillbillies.
Which they probably also are.
A Facebook page says they can get 1 million people who oppose health care reform. I bet I can immediately find 32 million who support it.
[re=537607]bago[/re]: But they’re actually trying to work for the common ill; and so are against that commie social justice.
Huge Gozongas is signature number 41682! I want to read the list of names.
User of Owls point me in the direction of Facebook fan site called 50 MILLION+ PEOPLE MARCH FOR FREEDOM ON DC SUMMER 2010. After the first day, the page creator had this to say:
“William Kolstedt: Closing in on 50 members! Welcome and thanks for joining, everyone! Please keep inviting and encouraging your friends to join! This has the potential to be HUGE! Let’s stand for America!!!!!!!”
At this rate it will take them 2740 years to get to 50 million.
[re=537604]JMP[/re]: Firefly and to a somewhat lesser extent Dollhouse were good shows. Teabaggers suck ass. So there is that too.
Penis McCockburns or 90210 is #417200. GO USA!
FartCrap McClain at boogers@aol.com is onboard.
I endorse your petition–I.T. Bagdaily.
[re=537615]Voyou Charmant[/re]: Me too. I was lame; Melikey Healthcare. Show us the names! Show us the names!
I signed as Hugh Jampton, funny maybe only to Goons fans, but I felt great pride.
41769: Josef Stalin signing in
Toleratin’ false names on a petition? Sound kinda ACORNy to me.
What’s going on? I stopped reading at “RedState/Malkin endorsed”; I’m sensitive to guano faucets this morn’.
Tiny McPenis just proudly signed[re=537620]slavojzizek[/re]: Brilliant!
Wow, they have no controls whatsoever on this freemarket petition. I just signed on again as Mr. “IT BURNS WHEN I PEE”.
I just signed on as “Wide Stance” from 97603 (horrible Klamath Falls, Oregon, fwiw) but now I don’t think they’re going to miss the reference… sigh. Republicans don’t even know their *own* cocksucking history.
If a petition has 1 million signatories, are we to assume that there were 300+ million Americans who refused to sign it?
Y’all want to see some great names to use:
http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-april-3-2008/britain-s-fallen-soldiers
I have some FB friends that have joined this group. I immediately deduct 30 IQ pts & figure ‘mehh… they are from OK so what can you expect.’ (Sorry Dust Bowl Blues!)
David Denby is feeding Wonkette tips now?
Bumblefuck Asspinchington will not be silenced! Contact him: goldenshowers@trannysurprise.com
If the mere thoughts of socialisms offend these bastards so much, why don’t they just opt out of everything socialisms? Why do they HAVE to use the things that socialisms provides like:
Roads
Sewers
Electrical Grid
Phone
Internets
Police
Fire
EMT
Laws
Courts
Public Service Jobs
Military
Pensions
Most if not all employee benefits
Etc
Since they wants Freedums so badly let them pay for it for themselves.
Baby Jeebus at 41904. I really need to get back to work.
D. “OUR white women” Broder is behind them 100%
Fred Fister hates NObamacare.
Red Ruffinsoar, 123Easy@aol.com, 99999 was this one.
These folks also think that the black dude was the bad guy in Blazing Saddles
I’m not even trying anymore:
First and Last Name: I’m just making dick jokes
Zip code: 69420
email: overandover@yourinternets.lulz
I’m finding such joy in the idea that someone might have to go and purge hundreds (thousands?) of dick jokes off of a totally worthless petition.
I P Onya has joined the fight.
Bored of the Rings has several nice names to pick from:
Dildo Bugger
Goodgulf Greyteeth
Moxie (and Pepsi) Dingleberry
Spam Gangrene
Tim Benzedrine
Hojo Hominigritts
and probably a lot more if I could be bothered to walk over to the bookshelf and open the damned thing up.
C. Thomas Howard Ballzack IV of 06902 (Greenwich, CT), upperclasstwit@iinheritedbillions.com, has done his part to keep the peasants sick.
Snowbilly Mooselini, @ SistaSaraIs@RlyStoopid.com from 99629 (Wasilla, AK) signed the petition, Sirs!
The sad thing is, this petition would probably cow a number of Democrats into changing their votes.
Ivan Goterdik registering one naturalized Norwegian signature for the only “social” work approved by the U.S. Constitution — Darwinism!
This is so easy, it’s going to be my entertainment today.
Sincerely,
Dildo McFuckkin
teabaggersdelight@screwyou.com
[re=537632]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Hey, wait a minute! I’ve been to Klamath Falls and you’re…exactly right. It’s horrible.
Regards,
Elmer Q TruckNutz
(EQT@hotmail.com)
Siemens alone just signed at least a jizmillion names.
[re=537652]tcb[/re]: Sorehead; Serutan; the nine Nozdruls; Arrowroot, son of Arrowshirt (aka Stomper); Gimlet, son of Groin, Legolam. When is Peter Jackson going to get off his dead ass and direct THAT movie? Or some slacker with minor flash animation skills and a free weekend?
I like how they bill themselves as the “Official Grassroots.” Glad they cleared up that little question of central authority!
Needs more Ladyboyjuice….
Hughjanus@jackmehoff.info is now a Proud Patriot!
“Phil Muhsak” (sig. 42190) will follow the fold and stray no more!
I went with Wie Neeb Ich reachable at itsover.youlost@suckit.com
Yay!! Never underestimate the power of magical thinking. It’s pretty much all they have left now.
C. Man Gulpin and Chu Mi Poo reporting for duty!
And yes, I realize that wasn’t subtle. Blow me.
hey, a facebook group was able to get Betty White the SNL gig, so, anything can happen.
I thought a dick joke would be a stretch for me, but Richard Cranium was sig #42302.
It happily accepts root@127.0.0.1 as an email. Do you think that will actually work or just add to a more rapid scrubbing?
Also, the TPP’s website designer really should be taken out to a field and pleasured anally with a mutant butternut squash. Blocks of text + Teabaggers who obviously don’t read = epic failure.
Oh, an official grassroots American movement? It must have taken forever to collect enough box-tops for the official seal.
1 million Facebook signatures versus 59,000 nuns = epic fail
This dude is my new hero…
freakishlyhung at suckmahdick@sorelosers.com is a patriot against tyranny.
Oh and as ever, T. R. Ucknuttz has joined the fight.
I seem to remember a Facebook group about impeaching Obama because his birth certificate wasn’t long enough. Or maybe it was his gift certificate. Anyway, I’m sure that group is going to rise up from the computer and….nah.
[re=537683]Papas got a brand new teabag[/re]: A Facebook group also managed to get Rage the UK Christmas #1 slot last year. I fear [re=537657]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re] is right, so I’m staying well clear.
It’s so cute to see these tardies learning how to use the Facebooks and the Tweeters, so precocious.
[re=537696]Mr Blifil[/re]: I don’t want to friend the guy to find out why. So… please do tell.
A potentially dangerous Request.Form value was detected from the client (ctl00$cphMain$txtName=”<a href=”redtube.com…”).
drat.
Phil McCrack, Dr. Clayton Forrester, and TV’s Frank checkin’ in at 42590, 42591, and 42592.
Apparently there’s nowhere for us to actually SEE the petition. Too bad, because it would be totally lulzworthy, like the “THANK YOU PREZNIT BUSH” petition last year. Or, better yet, the blog for Ashley “Backwards B” Todd’s #litf GOP college/field organizing group which was apparently invaded by /b/ and other retards who posted 10,000 Goatse photos on it.
OBVIOUSLY, the “Lizard People” have signed this petition from a Minnesota zip code.
I’m running out of characters from Preston Sturges movies (Ignatz Ratzkywatzky, Trudy Kochenlocher, John L. Sullivan, etc.)!
[re=537718]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Hey! Ashley Todd was framed! She couldn’t tell the truth b/c the ACORNS were holding her momma’s diabeetus medicashuns hostage!
Teabaggers will sign anything, apparently without reading it, to get a badge. I’m sure they are all busy unlocking the I’m the Mayor of Picketing This Abortion Clinic badges in Foursquare right now. And I’m sure those NRA registrations would drop off if you didn’t, for your $25 bucks, get a couple of window stickers, a badass hat (I have one, it’s cool), and a really not-socialist looking membership card.
But they really don’t pay much attention to what they have to do to earn a badge. A couple times a month I get spammed with a frantic call to action: Obama is going to take our guns unless I click a link and sign a petition.
It’s a link to a USA Today poll.
From 2007.
I swear this is true.
I’m going in as Dick Licker of 90210. I like the klassy zip codes. (That is an actual zip code, isn’t it?)
dicklicler@platosorgy.net
[re=537726]chaste everywhere[/re]:
I was going to be The Lady Eve Sidwich!
I don’t know you from Adam but I will give you the “job” of your choice!
[re=537716]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: C’mon the profile pic says it all…
Here are some run, real places and their zip codes:
plum island, ny 11957 (location of famous animal disease center and “origin” of Montauk Monster)
rikers island bronx ny 11370
Dix, Nebraska 69133
Embarrass, Minnesota 55732
Area 51, Nevada 89044
Pigtown, OH 44615
Pig, KY 42210
Hogtown, IN 47140
Waddle, PA 16870
Blank, MD 21773
Emelle, Alabama 35459 ( home of Nation’s largest toxic waste dump)
Nimrod, MN 56477
Nutter, NH 03785
Hicksville, NY 11801
Pixley, CA 93256
Mayberry, MO63932
Podunk, NY 14886
501(c)(4)s are those un-cool, political organizations that all of the 501(c)(3)s make fun of during their awesome smoke breaks/death panel deliberations.
Me, Jo King, just signed the bill. Such as.
Ulie Shoutyman hates reform like a motherfucker.
Cornhole Q. Blunderbuss is on board. YEEEEE HAWWWWW!!!
Well, Charles Manson has now signed it. Don’t ask me how I know. Helter Skelter.
Underpants Gnome is on board. His/her e-mail: step_2_is_missing@andsoisachromosome.net
[re=537661]V572625694[/re]: I think Elmer Q. Trucknutz should be the official mascot of Wonkette.
Polly Morphus signed! (#44003). Is there a lower form of political “activity” than a petition?
Going back to the glorious American Revolution, history tells us this has seldom been successful. An on-line petition is lower than a snail’s beergut.
P. I. Staker, signing in!
[re=537683]Papas got a brand new teabag[/re]: True, but people take Betty White seriously. This stuff, not so much.
Pukey Fullpants @44,687
Does this count as warblogging? Anyway, it beats work.
Signed,
Pickanninny Navellint (naturalized citizen from Bangalore, now residing in Redmond, WA)
apussecondcousin@quikiemart.us
Doctor Benway, M.D. is now a petitioner.
44684: Philip McCrack.
An oldie, but a goodie
Hugh Gene Ema just became a proud sign-or (or ee?)
John Smith tried to sign, but unfortunately he didn’t make it in time, as can be tragically seen by his name field and email address:
First and Last Name: John Sm-NO! S-stay awa…AaArg
Your Email Address: werecomingtogetyou@deathpanel.org
[re=537608]Buzz Feedback[/re]: Yeah they got wise after the last 25 times they launched something like this.
I state, at once with pride and reservation, that my little Facebook page, “Can this poodle wearing a tinfoil hat get more fans than Glenn Beck?“, has almost 3 times as many “fans” than the Tea Party Patriots.
Neener.
I signed it as “Marsha Mello”, which doesn’t sound as funny in print as it does being read over the loudspeaker at the airport.
[re=537840]eiresarah[/re]: Damn, I just enrolled Phil McKraken. Distant cousin, then.
[re=537739]nappyduggs[/re]: Hey, go ahead and take Lady E.S.! Also, does the “job” include benefits? (Not health insurance, obviously, but . . . )
I just set up a Twitter account for a great cause, patriots. I need 500 tweets in order to get Megan Fox to give me a bareback blow job. Yes we can . Yes we can. Yes we can.
Lee N. Trotsky is on board for freedom. Lock and Load. Or whatever it is they say.
Signed it as Greedy McFatty. Another great zip code: 26187- Pohick, WV
Di Innafire supports repealing this bill. You can contact her at di.innafire@myblackass.com
[re=537876]chaste everywhere[/re]:
Define “benefits.” I will not give you an STI, so that’s a benefit, right?
I signed as Sarah Palin, only I wrote it on my hand instead of the petition.
Jesus H. Christ, they can’t even spell “signer” – they’re looking for “signors” – so only Italian men can sign this damn thing?
Guan-Ho Fawcett also signed.
Frenchy L’internationale from Riker’s Island (thxs Eekahil!) loves REAL America!!11!!1
Glennbecks Leftnut (glenn@goatse.net) is #45991
Hugh E. Rection
bigdick@smoker.org
I tried “Obediah Snooks” since Col. Flashman used that one to sign the Reform Petition, with a 66666 zipcode, but all I got was a crashed system.
Abbie Normal, frankyputsontharitz@juno.com, is sig # 46487.
At this rate, they’ll have women’s suffrage repealing by the afternoon!
O. Blivious #46894 from 17506 (Blue Ball, PA).
Isn’t America wonderful?
I clicked on Repeal the Bill as :
elpinche@”Any uninsured teabaggers out there? According to your “principles”, you are not allowed to take part of this new law. So don’t bother filing the paper work, and die of diabetes , heart disease, and soul rot quietly (we got shit to fix in this country). Oh and skip the “life panel”, you won’t be needing that either”.fuckyouanddie.com, 78744
Barry & Shelly Obama, of zip code 20004 (Washington, D.C.) are “signors” number 47,197. I know, it’s not very imaginative. Only I can’t see the list of people who signed.
[re=537639]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Where was that teabagger call for shutting down all of the federal government except police, fire, and the military, again? I know it was floating around on this here wonkette a few days ago. It’s especially great because police and fire are, uh, not federal.
Also, if we reserve now, do we get a better tent at the FEMA/EPA death camp?
[re=537652]tcb[/re]: Don’t forget “hogsheads of hogsheads.” Classic!
[re=538064]Mad Brahms[/re]: Yesterday this idiot called Boss BlunderRush and said the right wing nutz should protest by calling their brokers and selling stock in companies that support ObamaCare – General Electric, for example, because it owns NBC.
Whiskey Tango Foxtwat?
The other one I love is “colleges” such as Hillsdale and Patrick Henry claiming to never take a penny of Federal funds – including student loans. Of course, they have no trouble accepting tax deductible donations, do they?
Bonesaw McGraw is REEEAAADDDYYYYYY…to repeal health care.
Signature 48525:
Jiminy Cricket
00666
nunya@damn.biz
I really wish they had a way of seeing all the signatures.
[re=537901]nappyduggs[/re]: That alone is the nap-happiest benefit I’ve been offered all week. Where do we “meet”?
Pete O’Fialle
Dirk Diggler
Dick Butkis
F.A. Tasse
Hope Less
Jay Reatard
Xenu Thetan
L. Ron Hubbard
Pa Kettle
P. Brain
Cannon Fodder
Dom Fokke
Dick Cheese
Sy Coe
Al Kaholick
Mike Hunt
Cree Tinhopp
Dick Tater
Stew Pid
Yul B. Sorry
Elmer Fudd
Ray Sist
Kaye Kaykaye
Whitey Cracker
Easel E. Ledd
Simple Jack
Jack Doff
John Holmes
Linda Lovelace
Jenna Jameson
Al Kydah
Jeffrey Dahmer
Ted Bundy
Gary Gilmore
David Berkowitz
John Wayne Gacy
Buck Kakke
Charles Manson
Josef Fritzl
Lennie Small
Fatty Arbuckle
Ben Hadd
Roscoe P. Analgimp from Melber, KY checking in.
Niel Onyernut; never@msn.com
Sign me up. This is the most socialistic, invasive legislation in our lifetime. Unfortunately it may just be the beginning.
If they get 1,000,000 signatures it will prove definitively that that damned pickle is more popular than Nickelback.
LIVE UPDATE!!1!!
60,422 Signature Count (LIVE)
60.4% of current goal.
MATHS IS HARD!
Ben Dover
[re=538847]eekahil[/re]: Eileen (Mrs. Ben) Dover. The family that petitions together, . . . does dishes together? I think it’s your turn, honey.
HEALTHCARE! The Germans opted for healthcare and government taking care of them, giving them EVERYTHING and they got HITLER! We got OBAMA, PELOSI AND ALL OF THE RADICAL COHORTS. Same with Stalin, Mao and several others throughout history. Get off it!! Get a JOB!! I know, you can’t find any that pays you what you’re worth? The entitlement mentality will break the country financially and morally. What’ll you do when the money, food, etc. stops coming? When the people who work (ah, bad word) stop making things and growing food?? NOTHING IS FREE! GOVERNMENT CAN’T GIVE YOU ANYTHING WITHOUT TAKING IT FROM SOMEONE WHO PRODUCES IT! A GOVERNMENT STRONG ENOUGH TO GIVE YOU EVERYTHING YOU WANT—–IS STRONG ENOUGH TO TAKE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE!!!
Healthcare, food, housing, etc., etc. is not a RIGHT—-you’re responsible for yourself! If we take all the money from the wealthy? What happens when they they run out?? I know, the GREAT and GOOD Government will provide!!
[re=537613]Bucky Katt[/re]: FOOL! YOU PAY FOR THEM (AND YOU WILL)
Join us in standing up against the Tea Party’s extremist tactics at
http://www.dontdrinkthetea.com
[re=538945]Silvershadows[/re]: Go away troll…
Thaddeus Q. Cockenstein…
Lotta Jizz, Crawford TX
Who wants the script that automatically populates this form and submits? Thinking we can speak for 500 gazillion people.
[re=538942]Silvershadows[/re]: And the working poor that earn too much to be covered by Medicaid and (god forbid) have a pre-existing condition should just continue to get fucked in the ass by exorbitant premiums– (that’s if they can even find a company who will cover them)? That’s not a handout, my friend. That’s your beloved capitalism and corporate greed run amok. I can’t believe people actually defend our healthcare system. In the words of your Dark Lord, go fuck yourself.
They don’t check petition signers for multiple signatures from the same IP address. Or even get you to confirm your email address. As a petition, it’s even more useless than the average one.
P.
Comments on this entry are closed.