News a new day for the internet Aaaaaand GOP.com Redirects To… By Jim Newell - March 22, 2010 - 1:42pm 102 SHARE Facebook Twitter Add to Flipboard Magazine. GOP.COM ANGRY! [GOP.com via VF Daily] Give Us Money: $ RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR Portal To Hell Opens In White House Lawn. Obama Never Had One Of Those. Ryan Zinke To Permit Uday And Qusay Trump To Murder Bear Cubs, Too Internet Morons Can’t Wait To See President Obama Get Impeached, Thrown Right Out Of Office He Does Not Hold 102 COMMENTS Fire Pelosi is more powerful than Ice Pelosi or Earth Pelosi. Everyone knows Fire is the strongest element. In other news, GOP keeps fucking that chicken. GOP.COM ANGRY! GOP.COM SMASH! What up with that? “What’s that funny smell? Somebody having a barbeque?” “Naw … that’s just the stench of somebody’s misogyny that’s been sitting around too long…” Money scam. Outrageous! I will not give one cent to the GOP if they’re going to dismiss my dreams of Speaker Bachmann right out of the gate. Only now are they realizing the true power of the Pelosi! She is a giant woman now. A monster woman. A goliath. A woman as Speaker! That’s not part of Jeebus plan for Amurrica. And a darkie in the White House. And a heathen Mormon cultist as majority leader! I want my country back! They’re just mad because a “gurl” (Nancy is really no gurl, but for argument’s sake) beat’em and how. Ha! Good luck with that, Repubs. Regular airings of Boner on CSPAN last night with “do you want this man as Speaker of the House” crawling underneath will bring out the Dems in droves. I cannot imagine that any Dem House member is really going to get beaten over that vote last night (if they stink at other things, well…). Rahm and the Prez will work hard for those members who voted YES and will do what they can to help those who voted no, if they want it. The GOP has been running against Pelosi for 10 years. What did it get them? Her as Speaker. [re=536780]memzilla[/re]: It’s The Incredible Sulk! Not a very flattering picture of Dante Pelosi. [re=536776]Landstander[/re]: Except for heart. You know you’d always be getting yourself into some impenetrable jail cell or something, and somehow earth guy is useless, so it falls to sissypants “heart” McIndian to charm a bird or something to get you the key. There is power in lameness! [re=536776]Landstander[/re]: But Fire Pelosi never uses her powers when it would actually be expedient to burn things. Instead, Wind Pelosi, Earth Pelosi and Water Pelosi steal her thunder, and the whenever she tries to use her powers, it makes things worse, so instead she ends up having to summon Captain Pelosi, by their powers combined. It’s all a massive f-you to Americans. Honestly, the only lamer one is Heart Pelosi. Spaghetti Incident! You’d think she’d started a war or something. So Boehner & Co bet the farm on defeating health care reform, which they said would sink Obama’s presidency, and they lost. Let the punishment begin! Attacking Nancy is good for fundraising, I’m sure. Still, no one thinks there’s really 40 gettable seats – at least who isn’t high or paid to act stupid. As a result, this whole raising of expectations is GREAT NEWS! FOR JOHN MCCAIN! Seriously, when 2011 rolls around and she only has a 20 seat majority (having shed the conservaDems who tried to use voting against healthcare as a fig leaf) what will the GOP say? GOP sorry, GOP lied, GOP full of shit? So, does the fire mean Nancy is toast? Why angry GOP so lame? I haz confuse. Does the countdown clock mean they think she’ll be voted out in 25 hours? I’d wager Fancy Nancy has a bigger set of balls than Boehner & all the 34 Dems who voted No combined. All hail one bad ass bitch! Speaker Pelosi does have some gorgeous pearls. I covet her pearls. [re=536784]The Huffington Pogue[/re]: Or Speaker Blackburn? Or Speaker Foxx? Am I right? Sexist pigs . . . Ooh, look, TMZ caught Sarah Palin in a bikini. Let’s all get that sparkly starburst feeling. [re=536779]WadISay[/re]: So that’s why I experience a burning sensation when I GOP. [re=536807]Terry[/re]: …her pearls of wisdom. *sigh* [re=536802]Berkeley Bear[/re]: They’re counting on the Obamacare Death Panels to visit every voter and scare them into voting Republican in every district. Or Zombie Marx (and not the funny one). That’s probably their only hope at this point. [re=536798]V572625694[/re]: These hacks are never, ever discredited, or held accountable for all their horseshit. Ever. Also. [re=536807]Terry[/re]: Who would have pictured Pelosi for being a pearl necklace fan? Maybe immuh little older than the average Wonketteire, but Nancy is really a pretty attractive gal for us older guys who have acquired an appreciation for such things. But yeah, Bachmann, from behind, smirking and high fiving Rahm at the same time, sure. [re=536783]chascates[/re]: Does anyone know, off the top of their head, how much you have to put back into the cause to be a non-profit? I just have a feeling that fleecing these idiot fucking tea-baggers would be a walk in the park, but I don’t really want to put too much back in – you know, to the cause. [re=536807]Terry[/re]: That $10k set she had on last night. Wow. The St John suits and great hair cut/color is one thing, but the jewelry…man alive. I wish she’d give Hillary some tips, but alas, no. [re=536806]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Cajones mas grande. She’s beyond badass – she’s badassssss$$ in the Van Peebles’ vernacular. Also, Idaho does not, I repeat “Not” want to fire Nancy Pelosi the most. Weird. [re=536812]Extemporanus[/re]: “I’ve got this yearning, burning, yearning feeling inside me” 3/22: THE RISE OF THE ORANGE BOEHNER. BEWARE ITS DEADLY VENOM!! [re=536776]Landstander[/re]: If they’re going for Pokemon tie-ins, wouldn’t the GOP prefer to cast the Pelosi that passed HCR as a dual-type Psychic/Dark? More sinister that way. Then again, that would make it trickier to exploit a weakness than it would be with plain-old-Fire Pelosi (just send in Water Cantor!), so I dunno. Nancy Pelosi must be really worried knowing that 7% of that half a million dollars is going to be put towards her defeat. Weird. $842,010 is an awfully random number to set as a fundraising target. You’d have though they would have picked $666,666.66 or something like that, since from this little photochopping effort by GOP.com it seems that Pelosi is obviously the Devil incarnate. [re=536785]sati demise[/re]: Attack of the 50 foot Pelosi? [re=536815]comicbookguy[/re]: <i<Or Zombie Marx (and not the funny one). Zeppo?! That’s the worst pic of her they could find? How lame, GOPers, she looks like a boxer posing after a KO. [re=536821]GoinGreen[/re]: None. Seriously. Being a non-profit just means not having any declared profit – doesn’t mean you actually have to behave as someone might expect. You have to declare an intent to operate as one of the several permissible categories of 501(c) entities that are tax exempt (PACS, charities, etc.) but actually making sure donations get used to further any given goal is at most a question of state fraud law. It’s like how a douchey Congressman can have a non-profit theoretically set up to give scholarships to children in his district, but use it as an excuse to put his kids on the board, go to golf outings and do anything but give out a scholarship. Can’t remember the name, but he just announced he’s not running for re-election to avoid the investigation getting too personal. Ha ha! So ineffectual! [re=536776]Landstander[/re]: No, while Fire Pelosi burns Wood Pelosi, Water Pelosi puts out Fire Pelosi. And then the later Sunburst Pelosi can beat all the others, but is ultra-rare so probably you have to buy a whole bunch of Battle Pelosis in order to get one. It’s all so clear now: Fire Lord Pelosi Water King Reid Air Monk Clinton Avatar Obama Appa = Biden Momo = Rahm The unfortunate cabbagemonger = John McCain [re=536824]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Pelosi and Her Bloody Gavel: http://blingee.com/blingee/view/109205185-NOBAMAS-DOGS [re=536842]El Pinche[/re]: Oh, the places she wanted to stuff that gavel last night…of course the would-be recipients have probably all paid to have that done to them already. She’d look pretty good as the Governor of California. [re=536786]V572625694[/re]: [re=536787]ManchuCandidate[/re]: It’s kind of refreshing that, between the shouts on Saturday and now this, the teabaggers have started openly stating their previously, (very) thinly-veiled racism, homophobia and sexism. No more plausible deniability for you, bigots! [re=536827]user-of-owls[/re]: “The men-o-pause when I walked into the room…the men-o-pause…” [re=536842]El Pinche[/re]: Wow, I would have thought unborn baby blood be a lot more viscous… I think her pearls are costume. And as long as I’m being shallow, here’s what the incomparable Tim Gunn said in the current Marie-Claire while answering an unrelated question: …she (Hillary) often looks like she’s wearing menswear. Why can’t more businesswomen and politicos emulate the divine Nancy Pelosi? [re=536826]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Apparently New York does? I mean, I know most of the Teabaggers’ not-so-secret overlords live there and all, but really? Haha. Next thing you know Nancy will write a book on staying thin. (Hint: push the plate away when you get full.) Then the haters will really go apeshit. [re=536838]Berkeley Bear[/re]: You don’t have to remember the names – just wiki Texas politicians and read the list – there heve been MANY of them here do that very same thing. Well, I’m off to get my web designer stoned so we can come up with a good teabagger cause! [re=536841]Moleman v2.5[/re]: The water tribe doesn’t have a king, but Reid does work as the ineffectual king of Ba-Sing-Say (the one with the tame bear). Rahm is either Zhuko (not sure if he’s good or evil most of the time) or Kitara’s near useless brother. Biden as Zhuko’s uncle, the befuddled ex-general. Ted Kennedy was a natural for Appa, but Steny Hoyer will do in a pinch. Cantor is momo, although far less endearing. And Boehner is the ugly-assed lizard that sees with its tongue and paralyzes anyone it zaps. I realize the imagery is wrong, but I’d go with Pelosi as Suki, badass female Kyushi warrior and part-time love interest of Kitara’s brother. The fire lord is basically a null set, since he pusses out in the end and no Republican has that much power right now (maybe Mittens?). Who’s Kitara, though? Michelle? And yes, I got way into Avatar – being stuck at home with kids will do that to you. They want her actually set on fire? Is that so she would be the same color as Boehner? Uh-oh…I think we broke it. Har har, Frummy has decided that (a) HCR was the GOP’s Waterloo, not Hopey’s; and (b) talk radio might actually be counterproductive for the Republican cause. Lady Pelosi’s gonna be cold bringing that hammer DOWN on GOP heads now. Ha ha, the clock is clearly a sign that now they’re in it for the quick score before America gets distracted by the next balloon boy, or octo-mom, or kidnapped blonde girl, or shooting spree, or extremely moderate policy proposal to fix one of our country’s slow-motion catastrophes that inspires mobs of retards to become Revolutionary war re-enactors. Where was I? Oh yeah, what a pleasant surprise to see that South Carolina is only rating in the 30s in this ridiculous scam. I saw Earth Wind and Fire Pelosi in 1982. They blew the roof off that mother! Only remotely possible way to defeat Pelosi in any form she adopts, howsoever earthy, windy, or fiery: http://kittenwar.com/kittens/178046/ Blue Boy (heh heh) might also have a shot. But sadly, Prepubelicans, to call you the party of losers would be shameless flattery. You are the party of the void, you are the silence that portendeth nothing, a vague memory of the worst-smelling fart in history, a series of minor minus-signs in the equation of existence. What possible reason have you now to pretend that you deserve to continue to drag your sorry-ass asses around for a few thousand more earthly rotations? Why not just die right away, in mock-heroic unison, and put us all out of your sub-evolutionary misery? Thank you for considering my proposal. Hold on guys, I remember this. Fire Pelosi is strong against Grass Pelosi and Ice Pelosi, but weak against Wind Pelosi and Water Pelosi. So, the GOP should choose a Squirtle as their starter. [re=536844]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Couldn’t believe it when she actually used that beast last night. That is one cudgel you don’t want to be on the wrong side of – and I’m not sure there’s a right side. [re=536838]Berkeley Bear[/re]: the best example is hannitys scholarship ‘charity’ that has paid aout about 3%…the rest went for parties, limo rental and whores, whiskey and blow. [re=536806]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I’ve given up the phrase “bigger than LBJ’s balls” for a more gender appropriate “bigger than Barbara Jordan’s ovaries.” Or shortened, “Man, that Pelosi’s got some BJOs, ain’t she?” In otherwords: “Don’t blame our political miscalculations! Blame the competence of our opposition!!” [re=536842]El Pinche[/re]: “All right legislators, let’s get legislating!” I clicked on http://gop.com/ and got nuthin. Is it supposed to be that way? [re=536838]Berkeley Bear[/re]: You don’t have to be a non-profit to be a fraud. Just as Sean Hannity (sorry for the Debbie Schussel) http://tinyurl.com/ycvsawp Release The Kraken! Those are some l337 graphics, GOP! [re=536821]GoinGreen[/re]: Speaking of scams: Sean Hannity’s ‘I Luv Me Some Soldiers’ is taking hits because of (via CrooksandLiars): “According to its 2006 tax returns, Freedom Alliance reported revenue of $10, 822, 785, but only $397,900–or a beyond-measly 3.68%–of that was given to the children of fallen troops as scholarships or as aid to severely injured soldiers.” Original story at Debbie Schlussel: “In February 2009, a well-known conservative writer sent me this, about a friend at FOX News: The guy went on to tell me about Hannity’s “Freedom Concerts,” which are staged across the country with the proceeds going to children of slain soldiers. Of course, as the guy tells it, there’d be a lot more money every concert to go to the cause if Hannity didn’t demand–and get–use of a Gulfstream 5 plane to fly him and his family/entourage to the concerts; a “fleet” (that’s the word the guy used) of either Cadillac or Lincoln SUVs for him and his family/entourage; and several suites at really expensive hotels for him and his family/entourage. The promoter apparently values Hannity’s star demands at well over $200,000 per event. The source says he heard that Oliver North pulled Hannity aside at one of the concerts and told him that this had to stop. But that may mean that, from now on, Hannity has to fly on a G4 instead of a G5, gets only a few luxury SUVs, and two or three suites.” Well, she wouldn’t be the first woman faced with the threat of losing her job for being excessively competent and accomplished. [re=536865]Cape Clod[/re]: you said it mate. Via ex-Editrix Juli, no less! [re=536820]Gorillionaire[/re]: “But yeah, Bachmann, from behind, smirking and high fiving Rahm at the same time, sure.” Ehhh, does the hatefuck really stand if (like Bachmann, Palin and Coulter) they’re faking it for fame and money? [re=536875]chascates[/re]: There is nothing that says Patriotic Amerrikun more than fleecing the gullible. Fire Pelosi takes +2 damage from cold-based weapons, right? [re=536875]chascates[/re]: Wow. A wingnut with sticky fingers. Quelle surprise! [re=536789]smellyal8r[/re]: “Rahm and the Prez will work hard for those members who voted YES…” And what do they plan to do to get the smell of death off poor old Harry Reid? And this my friends, is the closest any Republican responsible for this site has gotten to actually touching a woman…no wonder the misogyny boiled forward and they stuck in little flames as metaphors for their revulsion and recoiling fear. Seriously, I think it would be more aprapous to place Karl Rove or Limbaugh on this graphic seeing as how they’re both flamers….lil’ Lindsey would suffice, but he’s not wingnut enough, I guess. Nancy Pelosi is the firestarter! Rock Pelosi beats Scissors Pelosi. Scissors Pelosi beats Paper Pelosi. Paper Pelosi beats Rock Pelosi. We win every time. Or lose. Depends on how you look at it, I guess. btw, whatever happened to the Lizard tongued Pelosi gif. That would look really cool with the flames in the background. I’m happy the bill got passed, weak as it is and all, but until I see some war crimes trials, I’m not ready to join on the Pelosi lovefest bandwagon. From her stance, the fiery background, and the big numerals, I initially scanned this to be an ad for some casino somewhere – Roll Big, Just Like Madame Chairperson! Snake Eyes and Boxcars for Health Care Reform! [re=536891]Lets Go Vertigo[/re]: Yes, but she’s immune to weapons without a +2 or higher enchantment. She can also summon 2d4 Lesser Fire Congressmen, or a single Fire Chairman, three times per day. [re=536835]user-of-owls[/re]: Hey whatsamatta u? [re=536872]Joshua Norton[/re]: I thought Barney Frank was the Kraken? [re=536854]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: She turned Boehner into a newt! [re=536901]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Hope the stench of being an effective Senate leader is overpowered by the sweet rosy smell of Ensign’s real life bribery investigation (criminal and everything!) [re=536859]chaste everywhere[/re]: Damn you, I just spent 15 minutes on that site! Apparently the Republicans hate Pelosi so much because she actually gets the job done. This morning MSNBC is asking congressional historians if there’s ever been a more effective speaker than Nancy. Of course no one said Newt, and if they did they’d only say it with sarcasm and derision. Nancy annoys me with taking so much ideologically correct issues off the table but give the woman her due, she gets the job done. She’s the new LBJ only with much better boobs. If milquetoast man-bitch Harry Reid could pull his own weight this Democratic congress would be easily the most effective in modern times. Anyway, I still think Harry Feeb (see what I did there?) needs to once and for all make one of those old wingnuts, or better yet a cabal of them actually stand up and fillibuster bills, that 80% figure would certainly be down to 20% at best or else the respective states would be appointing other old pasty Reaganites to fill their shoes as one after another dies trying to stop progress. It would actually be worth it to see Demented or Bunning pass out while reading “The 5,000 Year Leap” by wingnut Cleon Skoussen during a fillibuster; we could begin a death pool and the wignuttery would cease as they go. Oh well, dreams and dreamers, guess I’ll just go back to my dream of Sofia Vergara in a string bikini asking me to rub lotion on her, or Michelle Obama showing me her physique…. [re=536928]JMP[/re]: She may be a badass with her vorpal gavel and bag of votes but she still needs to roll a saving throw against Senate douchebaggery. [re=536875]chascates[/re]: Well it appears the Catholic Church taught old Sean about more than grabbing his balls or butt secks in the rectory. Seriously, if anyone actually inspected wingnut charities, such as they exist we’d see each one of them is a just a sham for personal enrichment or free excess like the Mannity uses here. I mean, this is about as bad, but not quite as Pat Robertson using his charity operation for Rwandan genocide recovery as funding to ship equipment to his co-op diamond mine, co-opted with human horror Mbutu Sese Seko that is. [re=536943]slithytoves[/re]: Kudos on getting through to it! I get a blank screen with the word “Done” in the lower left-hand corner, and the symbolism of that is too corny for words. No, Nancy needs to be as big as Campbell Brown. Attention Michael Steele: You might want to figure out how to make your contributions map contributions per capita or $/electoral college vote or something before North and South Dakota permanently secede from the RNC for making them so blue. [re=536845]Fox n Fiends[/re]: That would be awesome. Hole. E. Shit. This literally looks like a bar-bet gone bad. HST warned ’em about mainlining that pineal-gland extract, but did they listen? Noooooooo. Yeah, betting the farm against social progress isn’t such a smooth move sometimes – who knew? GOP.com may as well redirect to the TIME CUBE guy at this point. “Republicans: Curb-Stomped By A 130-Pound Woman Who’s About To Turn 70.” can someone make a photoshop of Nancy As She-Ra with the gavel as her sword cause we need that now :) [re=536776]Landstander[/re]: Fire Pelosi may beat Grass Pelosi, but loses to Water Pelosi. This rock-paper-scissors system in our government was envisioned by the Founding Fathers, who called it “checks and balances”. Either my eyes are playing tricks, or they’ve gone and photoshopped the portrait of Nancy to make her look more crypt-keepery. [re=536798]V572625694[/re]: [re=536818]freakishlystrong[/re]: ::overheard speaker :: Senator Boehner, your Death Panel is ready… Attention, Senator Boehner, your Death Panel is ready… ::/overhead speaker :: [re=536856]President Beeblebrox[/re]: ♪♫♫ Bang Bang, Nancy’s steel gavel came down on Boehner’s baaaallllls-dedoodedoo-Bang Bang, Nancy’s steel gavel splashed the blood onto the walls…. Crush the Painted-Orange Maaaaannn… ♪♪♪♫ [re=537025]lulzmonger[/re]: But The GOOPer-keepers are trying to redirect to here, and make the content more cryptic and esoteric. [re=536809]Berkeley Bear[/re]: “Ooh, look, TMZ caught Sarah Palin in a bikini. Let’s all get that sparkly starburst feeling.” This, mate, is why I not only haz a touch of teh ghey, but why I will fight to keep it! Amazingly, fellatenancypelosi.com is still available. Anybody feel like setting up an imitation website with a link to her ActBlue page or whatever? Looks more like “Burn Pelosi at the stake” than “Fire Pelosi”. Comments are closed. Previous articleAnti-Immigrant Video Ruined By Common Street MimesNext articleGlenn Beck Is Upset On Twitter!