TEA PARTIERS  12:32 pm March 22, 2010

Liz Glover Finds Happiest Tea Partiers Ever (Who Are There ‘On a Whim’)

by Ken Layne

Here’s a welcome change from the usual mouth-breathing teabaggers farting up the Capitol: Happy youth, who just wandered over to the Hill to see what’s up, for the laffs! And our Liz Glover captured their merriment (and their souls) with her Soulcatcher Machine.

The young lady even knows that Liz Carpenter was an aide to Lyndon Johnson. Liz Carpenter just died, and your Wonkette didn’t even mention it. She was a funny writer in Texas.

Speaking of the LBJ administration, Stewart Udall died, too, and we didn’t mention that — and that’s just sad, because Stewart Udall did more for this nation’s Environment than probably any federal official since Teddy Roosevelt. “Highlights from his Cabinet career are The Wilderness Bill; The Wild and Scenic Rivers Act; the expansion of the National Park System to include four new national parks, six new national monuments, eight seashores and lakeshores, nine recreation areas, twenty historic sites, and fifty-six wildlife refuges; and the creation of The Land and Water Conservation Fund.” Jesus, all the stuff we missed because of the Teabagger Riots of March 2010.

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snideinplainsight March 22, 2010 at 12:39 pm

Hey, eds, can we make fun of George Will and his “Thermidor” column over in WashPost? I, for one, thought that a thermidor was an air conditioner, or something to keep cigars in. I found his column to be a wee bit out of touch.

memzilla March 22, 2010 at 12:40 pm

Great job, Liz — reporting on the organs of the Teabaggers should get you the Wurlitzer Prize!

Gopherit March 22, 2010 at 12:40 pm

God there are a lot of fucking Udalls….literally. Those mormons breed like bunnies.

Buzz Feedback March 22, 2010 at 12:43 pm

Late Night Shots field trip?

Snidely March 22, 2010 at 12:45 pm

Teabagger fan boy thought the “Star-Spangled Banner” lyric was: “Oolong may it wave.”

Ken Layne March 22, 2010 at 12:45 pm

[re=536686]Buzz Feedback[/re]: Weird, huh? It takes a Teabagger Rally of angry old fat-ass slobs to make LNS kids seem refreshing.

user-of-owls March 22, 2010 at 12:46 pm

A march in the thousands? Pshaw. Small beer. Wait until summer when fifty million (+!)descend on DC!! All they need is every last person in California (even the leaf blowers with sketchy documentation). Oh, wait…that leaves them short by, oh say, Illinois or Pennsylvania.

Also, anyone up to a little Facebook mischief?

I am proposing an ambitious, 50 million+ person march on DC this summer!


I created a Facebook group. Please join and invite all your friends!



Neilist March 22, 2010 at 12:47 pm

For the Record:

Although I continually am appalled by the lack of items of meaningful interest (i.e., firearms) in Ms. Glover’s videos, I, for one, would stand in line to “toast” her “buns” a la Freeper style.

More butter, anyone? Jam? Some cross-cut marmalade, perhaps?

SayItWithWookies March 22, 2010 at 12:48 pm

I don’t know that a teabagger rally is the best place for people watching — unless you’re a fan of hanging out in the Wall-Mart parking lot and just got homesick.

PabaBritannica March 22, 2010 at 12:49 pm

Those Udalls, they’re good folk. Why can’t the Romneys be good Mormons like them?

weejee March 22, 2010 at 12:50 pm

I worked for Stu’s bro Mo when ran for Prez in 1976. We tried to get the national campaign to make a full run in Illinois, but we couldn’t convince the DC staff cuz they had the scareds of Hiz Honor Mayor Dickie Daley. Carter did run, took a pisspot full of deli-gates and the rest is, so they say, history (fuck that makes me feel old). Oh well, some of the staff & leftovers went to start People for the American Way.

RoscoePColtraine March 22, 2010 at 12:55 pm

“…I’m not that politically active or engaged, to be honest with you…”

Could he be any fucking cuter?

Norbert March 22, 2010 at 12:55 pm

Well, there you have it. Not sure what, but there it is.

Ken Layne March 22, 2010 at 12:57 pm

[re=536699]weejee[/re]: Having lived in Arizona during my “middle school” years, I developed an actual fondness for both the Udalls and Barry Goldwater. Different politics, but good honest people. Thinking about Stewart Udall and Goldwater also reminds me that John McCain is a foul, opportunistic and morally vacant piece of shit. He’s an idiot, too.

nbawriter March 22, 2010 at 12:57 pm

Is Liz giving out loofah scrubs to Bill O’Reilly with that microphone cover?

bignutz2 March 22, 2010 at 12:58 pm

[re=536693]user-of-owls[/re]: They have 16 people so far. And he is aiming for 1/6 of the entire US population. Good luck with that.

Buzz Feedback March 22, 2010 at 1:01 pm

[re=536692]Ken Layne[/re]: Couldn’t even bring themselves to put a black windscreen on the faux mic. Nude and probably has crabs like the douche holding it.

Sancho March 22, 2010 at 1:01 pm

[re=536693]user-of-owls[/re]: 50 million? He’s ambitious, but not BIG ambitious. How about organzing 300 million Americans, all of whom protest by, say, pretty much waking up every morning in their respective cities and towns and going about their daily lives? Mmm, that’s good movement politics.

DeLand DeLakes March 22, 2010 at 1:04 pm

[re=536682]snideinplainsight[/re]: Well you see, now that the Maobama socialist revolution has occurred, we all have to stop using the lexicon of our former masters, the Romans, and revert to using “Thermidor” as a catch-all descriptor for every month, like they did in after the revolution in Le France. Did we mention the Death Panels will be by way of guillotine?

Cape Clod March 22, 2010 at 1:05 pm

[re=536693]user-of-owls[/re]: Oh, I’ll join. This should be fun.

Sleeves March 22, 2010 at 1:06 pm

Credit Stewart Udall for the Clean Water Restoration Act of 1966, amended 1972 as today’s Clean Water Act.

A great trustee and a potent civil servant…no higher civic honors.

Ducksworthy March 22, 2010 at 1:07 pm

[re=536706]Ken Layne[/re]: You know who else is foul, opportunistic and morally vacant?

user-of-owls March 22, 2010 at 1:09 pm

[re=536710]bignutz2[/re]: [re=536716]Cape Clod[/re]: Woo hoo! With the Cape on board, that’s 17! Only 49,999,999,983 to go!!

Bacchus March 22, 2010 at 1:09 pm

Liz Carpenter was a brilliant woman. You really should have a nice irreverent post about her. It’d tick off Denby and tickle her pink. I know for a fact she knew what Wonkette was up to and was a fan.

Prommie March 22, 2010 at 1:10 pm

Liz stole my soul, and heart, when first I saw her and her wonderful bow. She taught me something, something important that I never knew before; that if you wear a bow in your hair, and you are an irresistably adorable young female, you will look irresistably adorable.

GoinGreen March 22, 2010 at 1:10 pm

[re=536702]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I liked his whimsical use of the word “whim”. That, and his J-Lo glasses!

american mutt March 22, 2010 at 1:11 pm

they were just flirting with her.

user-of-owls March 22, 2010 at 1:11 pm

[re=536713]Sancho[/re]: That’s the spirit! Though the troops seem a little down right now.

“America took the killshot to the head from point blank range last night. The socialist cockroaches and earthworms are devouring the corpse of our freedoms.”

Maybe we better start slow, like say skipping the part about waking up. Just for now.

GoinGreen March 22, 2010 at 1:15 pm

[re=536693]user-of-owls[/re]: When we get “our America back”, can we do something about this fucking healthcare problem? I am having a hard time finding a doctor to prescribe me my goddamned vicodin!

Prommie March 22, 2010 at 1:16 pm

[re=536735]user-of-owls[/re]: Oh, the drama! The cliches, the self-importance and pomposity, truly this is the teabagger version of William Rivers Pitt.

RoscoePColtraine March 22, 2010 at 1:20 pm

[re=536730]GoinGreen[/re]: Move over, Levi Whatshisname…this guy doesn’t even have to take off his shirt. God, why do I have to like ‘em so fucking dumb?

weejee March 22, 2010 at 1:21 pm

[re=536706]Ken Layne[/re]: Goldwater was light years from where the current wingnuts are. This current crop of loons makes me nostalgic for Nixon. Their self-center brains are locked in the 7th grade (at best).

user-of-owls March 22, 2010 at 1:22 pm

[re=536745]Prommie[/re]: That rhetoric is very disturbing. I wish you’d have written something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.

Berkeley Bear March 22, 2010 at 1:29 pm

[re=536697]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Mrs. Thomas, is that you? You know the kid in NJ didn’t mean your husband just all “real” black people. You are welcome to come back.

OzoneTom March 22, 2010 at 1:40 pm

Washington Times loss means more time videograph-ing for Wonkette.

Hooray for Liz!

blader March 22, 2010 at 1:48 pm

shit, that uppity Liz chick is probably ivy league-educated or something worthless like that

blader March 22, 2010 at 1:49 pm

also, repeal the Wild and Scenic Rivers Act, too!!!!

AKAM80TheWolf March 22, 2010 at 1:52 pm


It’s the curse of our people. And the dumber they are, the easier it is to temporarily gay-recruit them with mind games and alcohol.

President Beeblebrox March 22, 2010 at 1:57 pm

Ruh, roh, the Aberzombies are out. Instead of eating your brain, they eat your D&G sunglasses.

birfday sex March 22, 2010 at 2:09 pm

I believe the IMDB title for this Oscar-winning documentary is: Aberzombies and Bitch: Out On a Whim

thehelveticascenario March 22, 2010 at 2:24 pm


Mr Blifil March 22, 2010 at 2:37 pm

I know this is part of the garage video uprising, but did you have to blow my right ear off to prove that you don’t give a fuck about normally accepted video editing standards?

LOLqat March 22, 2010 at 2:51 pm

LNSers? Maybe I’ve spent too much time drinking vodka-cranberries in the Castro, but I thought they were gays. Do straight boys even know the word “whim”?

Shaggypixel March 22, 2010 at 2:51 pm

[re=536713]Sancho[/re]: What the hell does he mean by 2 million last September? What I miss there? When were 2 million of these pests in one place at one time?

Wingnutia March 22, 2010 at 3:02 pm

Haha, Liz Glover is a peculiar one. Being a newer lover of all things Wonkette I had to dig into your bountiful archives to find out Liz once worked for you before infiltrating the Mooney Times…haha, kudo’s to you, Liz. Anyway, yes Tea Baggers apparently are still working their “we’re grass roots organizations” meme instead of just admitting they’re corporate operatives paid for by Dick Armey’s funds and man boobs milk. Methinks the old wingnut express is running out of go-juice culled from Ron Paul’s taint sweat as their “protests” just get smaller and smaller….

PerhapsSo March 22, 2010 at 3:05 pm

Yay, Udalls, says this former Tucsonan.

JeffBarea March 22, 2010 at 3:08 pm

[re=536702]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Um, naked in my bed would make him fucking cuter.

Jim89048 March 22, 2010 at 3:23 pm

[re=536792]blader[/re]: I hear that a lot around here. Our sole entry into the wild and scenic river hall of fame is the Amargosa, a mostly underground river that is above ground year-round in only one little canyon in California. If you can’t see it, it doesn’t really exist, right?

Sleeves March 22, 2010 at 3:56 pm

[re=536982]JeffBarea[/re]: But how long can he survive on [emphatick]that?

Sancho March 22, 2010 at 4:01 pm

[re=536937]Shaggypixel[/re]: Well you see, you can count the entire populace of DC, but that’s not going to get you to 2 million on its own. So he’s just lumping in Alexandria, Arlington, and (what the hey) let’s give him Bethesda too. That gets him to his magic number easy. What, you didn’t realize that each and every man, woman, and child in this area organized in protest against Obamacare? I didn’t either; now we know better.

zenferret March 22, 2010 at 6:35 pm

[re=536713]Sancho[/re]: I had a good movement this morning. Must have been the bran muffin yesterday.

Long Form Def Certificate March 23, 2010 at 12:57 am

So that’s what Paramour does on its days off.

Edsdesk March 23, 2010 at 4:18 pm

@Liz: Georgie Will has a thermidor in his attic. He stores his coveted sour grapes in it. If 1 in 4 teabaggers actually attend school, this should probably be noted as a ‘good thing’.

@Ken:My mom worked for Stu for many years. It saddens me to think all of his work is now fodder for McCane’s lobbyists who want nothing more than to erect neon boulevards and casinos.

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