A Children’s Treasury Of Terrifying Photos About Health Care!

by Sara K. Smith

Don't let the government get between me and my 19th century social theorists!
Did you know that your precious Death Panel legislation includes a mandate to resurrect the corpse of Karl Marx thrice yearly, or else face a maximum penalty of one percent of your income plus ten minutes in a dark room with John Boehner? Look at the President chortling as he zaps Marx to life! He probably didn’t even wash his hands, just put on those rubber gloves and set to zappin’, just like a Democrat.

Many people would pay money to see this very band!
“Edward” sends us this adorable snap of the time Michele Bachmann and John Boehner gay-married some nobodies and joined a Swedish band that reinterpreted scenes from the Napoleonic Wars. And verily that is how health care killed America.

What else have we got here? A “Wizard of Oz” Blingee of some sort, courtesy of “Rebecca.” Everybody knows that The Wizard of Oz was all about the Gold Standard, and we all know how Nancy Pelosi’s Obamacare bill will wreck our currency markets forever, because of … Socialism? In a lightning storm? First Abba, now Dorothy. Why is every joke image about health care written in mysterious Gay Code?

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queeraselvis v 2.0 March 22, 2010 at 10:24 am

Marsha and Michelle bumping uglies? Oh ewww. Though on the plus side, even in black and white you can still see Boner’s orangey hue.

FMA March 22, 2010 at 10:25 am

So what’s next, crazy people saying Barney Frank will be performing their colonoscopies?
Wait a minute…

natoslug March 22, 2010 at 10:28 am

Does this mean we finally get Death Panels? Fuck YEAH! I’m electing to have my very own special representative, Walt Minnick, be the first to test their efficacy.

Monsieur Grumpe March 22, 2010 at 10:29 am

Where can I buy a poster size version of that Frankenmarx picture?

Norbert March 22, 2010 at 10:29 am

Wow, with that first one I finally have some wallpaper worthy of my desktop.

Oblios Cap March 22, 2010 at 10:31 am


I’m thing Leiberman needs to be ahead of him in line.

PlanetWingnuta March 22, 2010 at 10:31 am

i have a lot of acquantices i would love to see facing a death panel about now…good thing for them there really isnt a report email line….

Marxist-Leninist Papist March 22, 2010 at 10:32 am

Zombie Marx does not need the voodoo magic of any bourgiose Africian witch docter. Please. As everyone knows, he need the daily sacrifice of pork meat to his ancestral secular Jewish temple house in Prussia. Can you revisionist “liberals” get anything right ?

norbizness March 22, 2010 at 10:33 am

I’m going to become a Communist so that I don’t decompose.

Buzz Feedback March 22, 2010 at 10:36 am

Marx looks like $hit these days.

JMP March 22, 2010 at 10:36 am

Wait, I thought the health care plan included death panels for the olds? Now instead they’re claiming it’s actually going to go to bringing back the dead; or at least long-dead atheist Jewish philosophers. Maybe Spinoza can be next?

Oh, and maybe someone could tell the wignuts what any college sophomore could, that Marx has some good ideas and is not the type of brutal killer that those who claimed to follow his ideals later became.

marley March 22, 2010 at 10:36 am

What was Marx mummified? That’s a commendable lack of decomposition going on there.

President Beeblebrox March 22, 2010 at 10:37 am

The Frankenmarx illustration looks like it was done by that weird Libertarian Obama/Amero guy…

weejee March 22, 2010 at 10:38 am

Does the glint in the Barry’s eyes while zapping kosher Marx mean he’s Sederistic?

Oblios Cap March 22, 2010 at 10:38 am


Good luck with that. I don’t think Lenin is holding up real well.

predilectrix March 22, 2010 at 10:40 am

The message I get from that top picture is that Obama looks McDreamy in scrubs.

Socialist hip replacement March 22, 2010 at 10:43 am

So Karl was Kenyan too?

BOOBIES! March 22, 2010 at 10:43 am

Barry can raise the dead? Wow, he’s just like Jesus.

Dolmance March 22, 2010 at 10:44 am

I can’t believe it passed. And yesterday at the moment it passed, a friend told me that scientists have observed wolves mating face to face. I think maybe this face to face thing is brand new – End Times. We’re fucked.

Cape Clod March 22, 2010 at 10:44 am

Personally, I’m just waiting for the Republican finger pointing to begin. Now that is going to be entertaining.

freakishlystrong March 22, 2010 at 10:47 am

I just had to walk out of my, (what passes for), office. All the wingtards were yelling about 17,000 more IRS agents to keep up with the stupid Democrats new Health care bill. I can’t argue, or listen to this bullshit anymore. Worst of it is; it’s my BOSS, who just comes in blowharding all the rw nonsense.
He left, so I’m back.

Mr Blifil March 22, 2010 at 10:47 am

It’s a fresh spring morning, rain in the offing, the season seems to promise limitless possibilities. Conservotards are sucking on their bunched up panties, soaked in bitter gall, Sascha and Malia have one more reason to love their dad, and Wonkett’s face is splashed with siemens again. Gonna be a good day.

SayItWithWookies March 22, 2010 at 10:47 am

The Waterloo one is cute — Bohner’s remark about that always reminds me that those poor slobs could never tell who was Napoleon and who was Wellington.

Naked Bunny with a Whip March 22, 2010 at 10:47 am

We’re fucked.

If we’re being fucked face-to-face by wolves, then I’m cool with it.

Way Cool Larry March 22, 2010 at 10:48 am

the top one is the best– it looks a bit like a David Dees piece:

He is used a lot at Rense.

slithytoves March 22, 2010 at 10:48 am

Can anyone confirm that it was Louie Gohmert (District 1 of Texas) who shouted “babykiller” last night?

Sleeves March 22, 2010 at 10:48 am

[re=536525]Oblios Cap[/re]: Let’s not be too cruel to the grandfather of bureaucracy. It’s so archaic.

Oui, très archaïque

Naked Bunny with a Whip March 22, 2010 at 10:49 am

@Cape Clod: It already started.

Johnny Zhivago March 22, 2010 at 10:53 am

Hey Wonkette, how about a Blingee Contest!!!!

ManchuCandidate March 22, 2010 at 10:53 am

“Must krush Kapitalism!”

Oh wait, that was zombie Lenin.

Johnny Zhivago March 22, 2010 at 10:54 am

[re=536533]freakishlystrong[/re]: It could be worse, it could be your mother in law.

PlanetWingnuta March 22, 2010 at 10:56 am

[re=536540]slithytoves[/re]: wouldnt surprise me if it was that short nut!

WadISay March 22, 2010 at 10:58 am

[re=536531]Cape Clod[/re]: About Wednesday the Repubs will conclude that their defense failed because their rhetoric wasn’t effective, and now they need to double down on the crazy. I mean, c’mon, where was Pol Pot’s killing fields, the Bataan Death March, the Tet Offensive? These guys weren’t trying.

norbizness March 22, 2010 at 10:59 am

The last time I sought a cougar, the University of Houston mascot gave me quite the mauling.

JamesMichaelCurley March 22, 2010 at 10:59 am

[re=536533]freakishlystrong[/re]: When my boss (a/k/a ‘The ol’ Bat) does that she mysteriously looses internet access for a few hours. Without her email, she soon ends up sitting there alone, shaking and drooling.

jus_wonderin March 22, 2010 at 11:03 am

I see your Karl Marx, and raise you a Robert Owen.

freakishlystrong March 22, 2010 at 11:04 am

[re=536545]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Good God, she doesn’t live with you does she? [re=536542]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: That made me smile, again.

Oldskool March 22, 2010 at 11:04 am

[re=536533]freakishlystrong[/re]: Casually mention when something needs to get done, don’t leave it up to white boys, send in a black man. Or a large-chested older woman.

JamesMichaelCurley March 22, 2010 at 11:06 am

I hate verizon!

Oblios Cap March 22, 2010 at 11:07 am

[re=536542]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]:

But wolves eat bunnies, don’t they?

Never mind.

JMP March 22, 2010 at 11:10 am

[re=536550]WadISay[/re]: Ah yes, like how McCain lost because he wasn’t right-wing enough, and didn’t spend enough time attacking Obama on meaningless bullshit like Ayers or the reverend. On some day, the Republicans may come to realize that embracing the crazy far-far-right is a losing process, and turn to being a bit reasonable; but it is not this day.

Sorry Reps, we’ve rammed it straight down your throats. Hope they’re sore!

el donaldo March 22, 2010 at 11:15 am

Frank L. Baum, the guy that wrote Wizard of Oz, always said it was a political allegory promoting socialism. No, I’m being serious.

Mr Blifil March 22, 2010 at 11:17 am

You can’t say The One hasn’t done his homework:

Marx’s interest in electricity also dates back at least to the 1850s. In July 1850 Marx observed that steam was going to be superseded by electricity as the source of energy for industrial technology. In May 1851 he discussed with Engels and Daniels the possibility of use of electricity in agriculture, in the light of an article published earlier in The Economist. The excerpts from Hospitalier’s book indicate a rekindling of his interests in the progress of theoretical and practical knowledge about electricity.

This was best covered in the chapter from Das Kapital entitled: Wenn Ein Schwartzer wird König Der Welt Und Dusche Uns mit Blitz!

imissopus March 22, 2010 at 11:22 am

[re=536533]freakishlystrong[/re]: Hooray! Jobs!

Naked Bunny with a Whip March 22, 2010 at 11:25 am

But wolves eat bunnies, don’t they?

Yes. In fact, I have some art I can post that shows…

Never mind.


One Yield Regular March 22, 2010 at 11:26 am

I’m confused. What’s Sasquatch doing in Karl Marx’s grave?

earnestcivilservant March 22, 2010 at 11:36 am

[re=536530]Dolmance[/re]: “And yesterday at the moment it passed, a friend told me that scientists have observed wolves mating face to face.”

Just what were you up to at the moment that it passed that would prompt such a conversation?

Lettuce March 22, 2010 at 11:38 am

Not sure if anyone has pointed this out yet, but that Obama/Marx illustration has the credit missing. It’s by a guy named “David Dees” who’s blatant racism doesn’t seem to bother folks who typically link to his work. His holocaust-denying illustrations attract attention from time to time, but I tend to prefer his “vaccines are a Jewish plot to kill the pure-bloods” conspiracies.

charlesdegoal March 22, 2010 at 11:42 am

[re=536566]Mr Blifil[/re]: As they used to say “Kommunismus ist Sovietmacht plus Elektrizität”

earnestcivilservant March 22, 2010 at 11:45 am

[re=536542]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: The Waterloo video, at the end of the Frum piece, is the very best part.

Hello Sunshine March 22, 2010 at 11:49 am

[re=536604]Lettuce[/re]: David Dees’ website is full of fun, especially the “political satire” section. Although after a while you do start to realise that he doesn’t know what satire is. Or politics.

Oblios Cap March 22, 2010 at 11:57 am

[re=536578]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]:

Artwork? I thought it would streaming video; something like Tales From The Yiffpile.

bynrdskynrd March 22, 2010 at 12:15 pm

Looks like someone has been capturing pics from the Weekly World News of the innanet…

comicbookguy March 22, 2010 at 12:16 pm

The wizard of oz pic is a take on their walk through the gauntlet yesterday. It’s only missing fat middle aged flying monkeys shouting racial slurs at them.

Snarkalicious March 22, 2010 at 12:19 pm

[re=536515]PlanetWingnuta[/re]: Sadly, that provision doesn’t kick in until the projected completion date of the nucular blast furnaces (can’t let granny die chilly) that will provide both power AND body disposal facilities the the FEMA camps. At that point, they can begin processing expedited requests. Until then, humanity will be forced into a state of half-life until the Dark (he haz teh blax) Overlord deems us fit to be slaughtered for his amusement.

PsycGirl March 22, 2010 at 12:23 pm

[re=536505]FMA[/re]: That sign got me thinking: Is it the case that we can choose which governmental official to perform the colonoscopy, and Barney Frank just isn’t that guy’s top choice?

doxastic March 22, 2010 at 12:32 pm

Words cannot express how much I love the first one. Delightful!

dijetlo March 22, 2010 at 12:32 pm

[re=536547]ko.isabel[/re]: Why would I want to bang a cougar since wolves are starting to have sex face to face?
I, for one, welcome our new wolf Overlords.

S.Luggo March 22, 2010 at 12:36 pm

Today, Manimals shall control our health care system:

PabaBritannica March 22, 2010 at 12:37 pm

[re=536538]Way Cool Larry[/re]: I’ve loved David Dees for awhile now. I love this one the most:

There is no Barack, only Zuul.

Naked Bunny with a Whip March 22, 2010 at 12:40 pm

@S.Luggo: Ooo, I hope he tests my reflexes.

natoslug March 22, 2010 at 12:59 pm

Okay, health care is done. Can we have immigration reform next week? Seriously, my favorite restaurant may go under if this doesn’t pass, thanks to INS screwing with the owner’s husband (she’s American, he’s Mexican, and INS thinks he shouldn’t be here, taking away the job of anyone else who might want to be her husband).

Magnus Maximus March 22, 2010 at 1:05 pm

Ha ha, OH SHIT, most awesomest picture ever!

Lascauxcaveman March 22, 2010 at 1:11 pm

[re=536614]earnestcivilservant[/re]: Seriously. That song was on the radio all the time when I was little kid and I really liked it. Had I known such a video of it existed, with its hilariously primitive lip-sync, I would have dedicated my life to them.

Berkeley Bear March 22, 2010 at 1:11 pm

[re=536540]slithytoves[/re]: TPM went to some hack from Cali who said it wasn’t him, it was a Texan (apparently the Texans sit behind the Calicans) which jibed with the reported accent and pointed at Louie “loses lunch constantly” Gohmert. He claims it wasn’t him, he doesn’t know who, but it was behind him. Eventually it will turn out to be a marxist-socialist-dem plant from Guam who was being complimentary/supporting the idea of baby-killing (at least in the Fox version). David Obey knows who it was since he was facing the crowd, but he’s not sharing (damn high-road).

Shorter response -probably, but Louie’s too much of a shitheel to admit it.

Tlmsd March 22, 2010 at 1:15 pm

[re=536533]freakishlystrong[/re]: just the oppsite here. Two wingnutz left the repubs and became indies. Huzzah!!!!

Johnny Zhivago March 22, 2010 at 1:16 pm

[re=536555]freakishlystrong[/re]: No, thank God…

GOPCrusher March 22, 2010 at 1:41 pm

[re=536655]comicbookguy[/re]: Or flinging poo.

Diamante March 22, 2010 at 1:54 pm

I want a poster of the big O’ resurrecting Marxie boy. A big huge subway poster. PLEASE.

Lionel Hutz Esq. March 22, 2010 at 3:13 pm

I understand digging up Marx. But why is Obama using the defibrillator on Frederick Douglass? Or is that Cornel West?

Health care is so confusing.

TGY March 22, 2010 at 3:13 pm

Karl Marx was a Wookie?

doloras March 22, 2010 at 3:19 pm

I’m impressed by the research. Dees took the trouble to include a picture of Marx’s actual grave in London, complete with the butt-ugly bust of him on top.

Wingnutia March 22, 2010 at 3:25 pm

Republicans are such silly brained little reactionaries. What’s funny is if Obama actually was channeling socialism his approval would be sky high right now; I for one would welcome the death panels. I always liked the way Sarah Palin dangled Trig and her parents out as test subjects but alas, the only death panels that exist are private insurance board rooms. Now I has the sad…hey, did anyone catch C-Span covering a really contentious debate over a “moment of silence for the vets” bill? Hahaha, I love house wingers, they’ll take any issue, no matter how far off topic to attack healthcare. And Bart Stupak being called a baby killer by some wingnut from Texas not named Louie Gohmert is priceless too…cheers, fuckfaces!

Cheney Guevara March 22, 2010 at 3:54 pm

Sorry but being locked in a dark room with John Boehner is an electromagnetic impossibility.

eclecticbrotha March 22, 2010 at 6:49 pm

OK, I like the FrankenMarx pic but to the untrained eye it looks like Doctor Obombay is tasering Santa Claus. Not that I’d mind or anything.

heathenish March 22, 2010 at 10:50 pm

BAWWWWHHHAAAAA!!! Socialist Health Care for ALLLLL!

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