Is This Tomorrow?

  • Health care reform shocker: American Indians are not subject to the Hitlerous insurance mandate. Why does Barack Obama not want Indians vaccinated against smallpox? [New York Times]
  • Still not clear on when you’ll be sent to the Death Panels? Read on. [Associated Press]
  • Hillary Clinton is going to tell AIPAC to stuff it, politely. [Haaretz]
  • When billionaires start running in political races, those races mysteriously begin to involve a lot more money. [Reuters]
  • Is the Bagram air base the new Guantanamo plus Abu Ghraib? [Los Angeles Times]
  • President Obama is personally footing the bill for the servicing of US Treasury debt, while the real president (Warren Buffett) enjoys more favorable bond terms. [Bloomberg]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith
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63 comments

  1. TJBeck

    Am I reading this right – basically no changes till 2014? Seriously? Won’t President Palin have somethin’ to say about this?

  2. Johnny Zhivago

    Sleazy repayment to Indians for providing Apache Code-Wisperers to pass instructions from Pelosi during the final moments of the critical debate.

  3. El Pinche

    Thanks NYT, why didn’t we see this summary BEFORE the bill passed. Now that we know WHATS ACTUALLY IN THE BILL, I HATE IT !!! I WANT MY COUNTRY BACK!!!

  4. MzNicky

    Am I the only one whose Wonkette liveblogging ended last night around 11:00 at the “Children’s Treasury” post? I kept refreshing and refreshing and wondering where everybody went. This a.m. is the first time I’ve seen the actual liveblogging threads from Boner on up. I missed the whole fucking thing!! WTF? Shall I report Comcast dot net to the Death Panels?!

    Seriously. I’m pissed. Happy about our new Socialism era, but pissed I missed the party. Anyone?

  5. Bearbloke

    [re=536448]MzNicky[/re]: All Wonketteers Are Equal, But Some Are More Equal Than Others… so, you weren’t invited to the party, but thanks for playing. Hail Maobama!

  6. Tundra Grifter

    It’s a beautiful Spring morning, the House has passed a Health Care Reform Bill, and we’re sitting here covered in Siemens. And we didn’t even get to take The Walk of Shame…

  7. gurukalehuru

    “Telling Israel the truth” is not going to really change things, Hills.
    “The rest of the world hates you because you’re racist pricks and war mongers. Here’s your $2 billion.”

  8. WadISay

    I’ve awoken in a socialist paradise, where each gives according to his ability to each according to his need. Only 5 weeks to the May Day parade!

    [re=536440]chowkster[/re]: Haha, Pegs will spend eternity in Hell listening to Ethel Merman chanting some of the erotic love poems she wrote to George Bush 2000-03.

  9. MzNicky

    [re=536453]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Well why didn’t somebody tell me!! Fuck all. I spent all day and half the goddam night enduring CSpan and had my scotch all on its rocks and everything. Fuck all of y’all. Not really.

    Oh well. Happy New Socialismistic Era everyone!, even to Wonkette, whom I still love even though I got disinvited from the greatest liveblogging night since Hopey Night 2008.

  10. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    @MzNicky: Don’t look at me. I was asleep (passed out) by then, dreaming of being sucked off by Oompa Loompas (John Boehner).

  11. Serolf Divad

    [re=536456]ella[/re]:

    My message:

    “Dear Rush,

    I’ve heard with great sadness that you’re leaving the country because the Demoncrats have managed to destroy the best health care system in the world. And you should know: a system that enables a guy to escape military service in Vietnam due to a pimple on his butt (as you did) simply has to be the greatest system in the world. So have as much fun as you can in Costa Rica, Rush. I’m sure you will. Just be sure to pack a whole suitcase of Oxycontin, though, because I’m not sure that stuff is so easy to get down there.”

  12. Potater

    [re=536440]chowkster[/re]: Methinks Madame was hitting the Julie Andrews a bit hard yon fortnight.

  13. Potater

    [re=536463]ko.isabel[/re]: I’m sure you’re just chock full of older gentlemen that would suit my fancy, because God only knows how much old people love “Web Sights.”

    Proudgrampa excluded, natch.

  14. Marxist-Leninist Papist

    [re=536461]gurukalehuru[/re]: Thinking that Obama wants “real change” when it comes to Israel giving Hills and Hopey a generous benifit of the doubt. It was our beloved Chairman that promised to support total Israeli takeover of Jerusaelum, something not even the Dick and Bush duo advocated. Thus the tragedy of Palestine carries on. an no one gives a dam.

    Anyway, I woke up this mourning, looked around and thought, wheres my worker’s paradise ? The postal workers must be on strike, those lovable comrade bastards.

  15. ManchuCandidate

    First some healthcare reform passes and now the Hilsbot is going to tell AIPAC to shove it.

    What the fuck?

    Is this some new paradise?

    *Sees line about billionaires entering political races*
    Oh wait. Yeah. Oh well.

  16. Cicada

    [re=536440]chowkster[/re]:
    Reading Dame Noonington’s 2004 smugness in 2010 is a cleansing tonic of schadenfreude. Ah yes, Peggy, thank goodness we got a second term of W. There will be no repercussions on the GOP for that, surely? Hee.

  17. JMP

    [re=536461]gurukalehuru[/re]: It still beats the old method of telling Israel to go ahead and kill as many Palestinians as they felt like, the US will have their back no matter what. That’s something.

    [re=536463]ko.isabel[/re]: Normally, I do not like the old ladies; but please, tell us if Pelosi is on your site because she deserves a congratulatory sexing.

  18. Marxist-Leninist Papist

    The sign that something has disturbed the force in Redtard universe: Their ominous chattering, the constant whispered chatter of doom.

  19. Prommie

    [re=536461]gurukalehuru[/re]: Belligerent desert-dwelling monotheist tribal cultures, ya seen one, ya seen them all.

  20. JMP

    [re=536456]ella[/re]: He promised us that he’d leave if it passed, though. A promise is a promise, Rush, so now that we’ve given you the reform it’s time to pull through and get out of here

  21. Marxist-Leninist Papist

    [re=536483]Prommie[/re]: Not so much monotheistic anymore. The Israeli population is one of the most atheistic people on earth. Irony of course ensues. “We are the chosen people of Go..well whatever we must be the chosen people somehow, so fuck you world ! Where’s my bulldozer ? There is some Cannenites that need a smiting”.

  22. Prommie

    [re=536476]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Aipac, ah yes, thats the Israeli spying operation that runs our foreign policy, isn’t it?

  23. qwerty42

    So now I am living in a nazi socialist muslim country? Does this mean we have sharia law administered by Chicago union thugs? And all the doctors are going to quit? Who will be running the death panels? So many questions.

  24. Prommie

    [re=536486]Marxist-Leninist Papist[/re]: Yes, but the god those atheists don’t believe in is Yaweh.

  25. glamourdammerung

    [re=536470]Serolf Divad[/re]: I would hate the be the anus of a boy in a Dominican child brothel right about now.

  26. DeLand DeLakes

    [re=536480]JMP[/re]: I, too, would take one for the team today. Speaker Pelosi, I am young, nubile, and I’ll throw in a lil’ happy ending if you let me lick that big gavel!

  27. bitchincamaro

    On the road to Middle-East peace, friends don’t let friends drive drunk. Netanyahoo just blew a 1.8.

  28. Marxist-Leninist Papist

    [re=536489]Prommie[/re]: May He bless and protect them forever, Selah and Amen.

  29. Marxist-Leninist Papist

    [re=536492]bitchincamaro[/re]: That’s nothing, Tommie Friedmann (and his mouth) have been driving at 1.8 while on meth ever since the USSR collapsed.

  30. Terry

    [re=536470]Serolf Divad[/re]:

    Oooh, I forgot that he swore to leave. Maybe we can start an effort to send him lots and lots of bon voyage cards.

    Hey, Rush, don’t let the screen door hit you on your ample arse on the way out.

  31. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=536438]TJBeck[/re]: Only the shitty blankets that are woven of broken threads and bitter, bitter tears. Just like the one that moronic Rep (whose name I can’t remember; you know, the doughy white guy) talked about last night.

  32. snideinplainsight

    Another sign of the apocalypse – a Ross Do-that column that I actually enjoyed reading (and a Poor Richard quote!)

  33. WadISay

    Our Wonkette seems to be recovering from its post-gasm of yesterday. C’mon guys, we all must strive to achieve the quotas of the new 5-year plan.

  34. Beanball

    Ostracism-(Εξωστρακισμός) (Greek: έξω-οστρακισμός – exo (out)-ostrakismos) was a procedure under the Athenian democracy in which any citizen could be expelled from the city-state of Athens for ten years. While some instances clearly expressed popular anger at the victim, ostracism was often used preemptively. It was used as a way of defusing major confrontations between rival politicians (by removing one of them from the scene), neutralizing someone thought to be a threat to the state, or exiling a potential tyrant. Crucially, ostracism had no relation to the processes of justice. There was no charge or defense, and the exile was not in fact a penalty; it was simply a command from the Athenian people that one of their number begone for ten years.

    [snip]

    The person nominated had ten days to leave the city — if he attempted to return, the penalty was death. — http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ostracism

    Sounds good to me.

  35. JMP

    [re=536486]Marxist-Leninist Papist[/re]: [re=536487]Prommie[/re]: Now, an awful lot of it has also been run by those who believe the Jews were chosen by god; that is, chosen to bring about the start of the apocalypse, during which they will die horribly but the good true Christians will be raptured and get to watch the rest of us suffering. Truly, it is a religion of love.

    [re=536488]qwerty42[/re]: Now that we’re a socialist country, when can we start getting paid for uselessly sitting around and doing nothing (that’s the way it works according to wignuts, anyway)?

  36. JMP

    [re=536499]WadISay[/re]: I would imagine that Jim and Ken are both massively hungover after their liveblogging, and just hope that Jim & Liz weren’t tracked down by any of the angry racist mouthbreathers they photoed.

    Meanwhile, Ken’s last late post still appears to be eated; and now I see SKS just had a new post go up even though the timestamp is an hour ago. Things always get weird when Siemens is in the server here.

  37. weejee

    [re=536500]Beanball[/re]: Are you nominating our favorite orangeman? And no, you sillies not Doug Marrone the coach of Syracuse, but Boner Boehner.

  38. Oldskool

    [re=536456]ella[/re]: Mine read: “Ta ta, Big Boy. We’ll miss you in a lousy neighbor kind of way. Oh, and stay off the beach. They’re partial to whales and for sure they’ll try to drag you back into the water. Wait a sec, can I recommend the beaches there? I hear they’re beautiful.”

  39. President Beeblebrox

    [re=536463]ko.isabel[/re]: Wait, wut? I thought cougars were older women. What’s an older guy called – pervert? Child molester?

  40. JMP

    [re=536502]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Nah, it’s just the guy quoting him that’s a self-declared moderate. Frum was on MSNBC a lot yesterday, and he was a conservative who accused all the Republicans in congress of being a bunch of morons who have helped the Democrats by pandering to the teabaggers.

  41. DeLand DeLakes

    [re=536527]JMP[/re]: Rethugs skewered themselves by paling around with violent, shouty racists? Preposterous!

  42. Mr Blifil

    [re=536502]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Never trust a vicious self-hating old queen. He imagines that he’s serving a function by pissing down on the little people from his ivory tower. If you don’t already regard him with extreme contempt, check out his recent-ish interview with Rachel Maddow. What’s more pathetic than the spectacle of a gay man who thinks it’s clever to conceal his nature by taking up with gay bashers? I’ll tell you what’s more pathetic. The spectacle of that person spending the rest of his life justifying why his original choice to embrace the gay bashers was the right one, and that the blame for it not working out so well resides entirely with the gay bashers. Offer him a pork injection and let’s see how moderate he acts in response.

  43. Prommie

    [re=536501]JMP[/re]: This thing you speak of, no work, with pay, it is called “disability,” and indeed, it is the highest ambition of most members of the working class. Myself, I am a member of the professional elite, of course, but lived for a time in a working class neighborhood, and I found out that the term “working class” is an oxymoron. I would venture forth each morning in my suit and tie, and see all of my working class neighbors tending their gardens or tinkering with their jalopies, and I would return after a long day of white-collaring, and they would be relaxing on the front steps with a beer. They all had enormously time consuming hobbies, such as hunting, and fishing, and were always coming and going on week-long hunting and fishing trips. All this, through the socialist miracle of “disability,” and the occasional extended vacation known as “workers comp.”

  44. ella

    Yet another reason I heart you guys: I knew I wouldn’t be the only one to think about Rush scoring Oxycontin in Costa Rica.

  45. JMP

    [re=536636]Prommie[/re]: Now you’re making disability sound almost pleasant. Hm, I don’t use the pinky finger on my left hand very much, except for typing As.

  46. GOPCrusher

    [re=536522]Terry[/re]: I was going to, but then I read the disclaimer stating that if I signed up to get his private e-mail address it would improve my chances of him reading my e-mail. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, so I’ll just wish him an Adios, Asshole from here.

Comments are closed.