SEXYTIME  5:24 pm March 21, 2010

Victory Party To-Nite, Obama Bringing Limo Full of Nurses/Hookers & Blow

by Ken Layne

'My ride's here.'
The Wonkette news-room is On Assignment, with Jim Newell and Liz Glover on Capitol Hill just cold getting drunk and taking videos and photographs. We will post these once we have them. Meanwhile, the House is about to vote on the Slaughterhouse Five rule, which requires every fifth Republican representative to “have an abortion,” on CSPAN.

David Gergen is getting all weepy on the CNN, remembering when he actually had a meaningful job in the Clinton administration instead of being some mush-mouth teevee commentator, and the actual vote in the House is now scheduled for what, 7PM?

Oh, and CSPAN is super-hilarious now as the Republicans march up to say the same lame sentence again and again, “I am opposed to this flawed health care bill,” except for Shit-Nut Michele Bachmann, who changed “flawed” to “DANGEROUS” and then her head popped clear off, spraying candy and doubloons from her corpse. She was a pinata all the time!

We will see you in an hour or three.

 
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{ 237 comments }

Dr. Spaceman March 21, 2010 at 5:29 pm

Next up, de-privatization of the airlines!
Then, mandatory handgun disarmament.
But first, sexxy-time sodomy!

Lucidamente March 21, 2010 at 5:31 pm

Wait, so Larry Sinclair be at the party?

Lucidamente March 21, 2010 at 5:31 pm

Wait, so Larry Sinclair will be at the party?

thatonegirlsays March 21, 2010 at 5:32 pm

I didn’t buy enough booze and Texas has fucking blue laws so I have to conserve my vodka until the vote actually starts. I should’ve quit watching C-SPAN a few hours ago.

wallythepug March 21, 2010 at 5:32 pm

If only! What probably spewed out of Bachmann was spoiled cabbage and cigarette butts.

hoosiermama March 21, 2010 at 5:32 pm

…and the actual vote in the House is now scheduled for what, 7PM?

Damn, the way these stupid fucks are lollygagging it’ll be more like 10-million o’clock.

hoosiermama March 21, 2010 at 5:34 pm

Woo-hoo! Jim and Liz on the scene! I feel like I’m a commenter on an actual news site, and stuff.

Lascauxcaveman March 21, 2010 at 5:36 pm

I was explaining the two sides of teh health insurance reform bill to my kids today, because one of them asked what I was chuckling about while surfing the net today. Also, because their momma is a swarthy Mexican, my kids sometimes have pinatas at their birthday parties.

I wonder if they’d get the joke if we had a Michelle Bachman pinata at the next swingin’ party?

No, probably not.

Cookie Guggelman March 21, 2010 at 5:36 pm

Hope my bag of Cape Cod tater chips lasts until 7.

Poochie March 21, 2010 at 5:37 pm

I confess to being FLAWED and DANGEROUS, too. But the flying spaghetti monster still loves me.

rocktonsammy March 21, 2010 at 5:37 pm

I’m going to the nigger-faggot party, good times, “ain’t we lucky we got em, good times.”

Smoke Filled Roommate March 21, 2010 at 5:38 pm

[re=535457]Lucidamente[/re]: Sinclair be at da party, yo.

predilectrix March 21, 2010 at 5:38 pm

That’s Amaricas Congress Pinata to you, young man.

Serolf Divad March 21, 2010 at 5:39 pm

Don’t forget nuns… he’s bringing pole-dancing nuns, too.

Clankie March 21, 2010 at 5:40 pm

Sweet Zombie Jesus, when does this end? I did enjoy the endless “flawed health care bill” nonsense, but it would have been better had the dems done the same thing saying “wicked awesome health care bill.”

weejee March 21, 2010 at 5:40 pm

I ask unanimous consent for Jim and Liz to revise and extend their remarks and photos until all this anti HRC batshit is a dim, dim, memory.

snott March 21, 2010 at 5:41 pm

Hilarious! C-Span is is pure comedy gold

Lucidamente March 21, 2010 at 5:41 pm

[re=535472]Serolf Divad[/re]: MMMMM, pole-dancing nuns. What’s that move they do called? Oh, right, the “Stupak.”

memzilla March 21, 2010 at 5:42 pm

I am in favor of any Congressional activity which gives Liz and Jim the mandated authority to charge beer and whuskey to teh Wonket corporate card.

thesheriffisnear March 21, 2010 at 5:43 pm

[re=535468]rocktonsammy[/re]: At least we know where da white women at!!!

Jim89048 March 21, 2010 at 5:43 pm

[re=535465]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: For someone who has been doubly-kneecapped, you sound remarkably chipper. Good drugs, no doubt.

Barry White Zombie March 21, 2010 at 5:44 pm

“Yeah my man hooked up the ounce of BC bud. You got the scotch and white wimmenz? Cool, see you tonight.”

King of the Dipshits March 21, 2010 at 5:45 pm

[re=535472]Serolf Divad[/re]: I think you are mistaken. The Pope is not a Pole anymore, he’s German.

doxastic March 21, 2010 at 5:46 pm

Now if Pitt can just get its shit together, this will have really been a banner day.

ella March 21, 2010 at 5:46 pm

7 PM?? What could there possibly be left for them to say?

memzilla March 21, 2010 at 5:46 pm

[re=535476]Lucidamente[/re]: “Hey you kids! Who left this burning bag of stupak on my front porch?!”

Monsieur Grumpe March 21, 2010 at 5:47 pm

[re=535459]thatonegirlsays[/re]:
We have the same problem in Minnesota. However I am prepared with a 6 pack of Bell’s Doppelbock.

http://www.bellsbeer.com/index.php?c=product_info&content=19

Cheers to all you fucking Socialist Commie Liberal Pinko Fags!

Marxist-Leninist Papist March 21, 2010 at 5:48 pm

You know, is it just me, or has C-Span become Fox news for progressive-wannabes ?

doloras March 21, 2010 at 5:50 pm

Great idea from Kostards: rickroll Republican sites with this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu1q17rUkVU

weejee March 21, 2010 at 5:50 pm

[re=535483]doxastic[/re]: Looks like the German pole-dancing nuns are getting behind, so-to-speak, the Jesuits from Xavier.

Zadig March 21, 2010 at 5:50 pm

[re=535462]hoosiermama[/re]: Holy shit, hoosiermama, I just noticed that your avatar is Tentai Senshi Motherfucking Sunred. I love you forever.

Lucidamente March 21, 2010 at 5:53 pm

[re=535486]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Consecrator Doppelbock Beer: isn’t that what Father Ignatius used to give eight-year old Bart Stupak right before they played that game, “sticking in the holy ghost.”?

Scandalabra March 21, 2010 at 5:54 pm

As a self-hating Castro girl, I never thought I’d say this but, “All Hail Saint Nancy Pelosi!!!!!”

Chuckie Jesus March 21, 2010 at 5:54 pm

I wonder if Keith Ellison makes up for Michelle Bachmann? Dear God That Probably Doesn’t Exist, I hope so.

BlueStateLibtard March 21, 2010 at 5:55 pm

It is the fall of Gondor! Or Sauron! Hobbits win!

Cookie Guggelman March 21, 2010 at 5:58 pm

[re=535487]Marxist-Leninist Papist[/re]: omg, there’s some batshit crazee callers.

hoosiermama March 21, 2010 at 5:58 pm

[re=535491]Zadig[/re]: Mi amore! I have found my soul mate on My Wonkette! Smooch!

Lucidamente March 21, 2010 at 5:59 pm

Speaking of drinking, do y’all think Mika Brzezinski and Peggy Noonan have gotten an early start on theirs so’s they’ll be good and liquored up for tomorrow’s Morning Joe?

Rosemaryrules March 21, 2010 at 6:00 pm

Some bat-shit Texas lady just called the c-span to inform us all that the President will “literally” call the doctors so they can kill us.

slinkimalinki March 21, 2010 at 6:00 pm

[re=535476]Lucidamente[/re]:
The Aristupaks!

doxastic March 21, 2010 at 6:01 pm

[re=535490]weejee[/re]: Must everything be a concession to Catholics today? I’m hoping the Jesuits, like their congressional kin, look scary but fade in the end…

Zadig March 21, 2010 at 6:02 pm

[re=535498]hoosiermama[/re]: brb, picking out curtains, finding out if General Vamp can babysit in about ten months time.

Blender March 21, 2010 at 6:02 pm

Haha, that twit from Politico gave himself away… “how long do WE have to protest? How long do WE have to stand outside Speaker Pelosi’s office??!?!?!?”

hoosiermama March 21, 2010 at 6:03 pm

Dammit, this was a bad day to stop drinking. Oh well, fuck it, I’ll start my preventative health care plan tomorrow.

Zadig March 21, 2010 at 6:03 pm

[re=535500]Lucidamente[/re]: Saying that Peggy Noonan has gotten an early start on drinking is like saying that you or I got an early start on blinking today. Is there a difference?

Rosemaryrules March 21, 2010 at 6:04 pm

[re=535466]Cookie Guggelman[/re]: Oh my god I love those.

Marxist-Leninist Papist March 21, 2010 at 6:05 pm

[re=535502]Rosemaryrules[/re]: Now a days we would could accept and tolerate this level of bat-shittery being hosted on CNN, but C-Span..

weejee March 21, 2010 at 6:06 pm

[re=535488]doloras[/re]: ABBA-kadabra they’ll all catch the gay.

DC Hates Me March 21, 2010 at 6:06 pm

[re=535502]Rosemaryrules[/re]: Yah, listening to the C-spans, all the Scare Monkeys are talking scared.

AnglRdr March 21, 2010 at 6:08 pm

[re=535502]Rosemaryrules[/re]: Thank god the preznit’s gonna do it. I don’t know about y’all, but I simply do not have time (or minutes on my cellphone plan) to be making all of those phone calls.

Lucidamente March 21, 2010 at 6:08 pm

The repugs are holding their own news conference right now: Stupak’s a pussy, not really anti-abortion, blah-blah, whine whine, hey, that’s a mighty nice wide stance ya got there, partner.

[re=535510]Zadig[/re]: You, sir, are correct.

memzilla March 21, 2010 at 6:09 pm

216! 221! 222! HAWT DAMN!

Clankie March 21, 2010 at 6:10 pm

So, for a split second, there was one repub yea vote on the procedural vote. Then it changed to a nay vote. Wha happened?

Lucidamente March 21, 2010 at 6:11 pm

[re=535513]Marxist-Leninist Papist[/re]: C-Span was the original home of wingnuts everywhere. Before there were the intertubes, basement-dwellers had only the ‘Span to listen to their crazy (the moderators really ought to enter the world series of poker, so straight are their faces).

Lascauxcaveman March 21, 2010 at 6:12 pm

[re=535480]Jim89048[/re]: Nah, the ski trip and the resulting amputation of the knees never happened. My kid got invited to a pool party, so she bailed on me. So I spent the day rounding up concrete piers and 2x10s for my summer deck project instead. Now it’s my back that’s destroyed. Thank got aspirin, motrin and gin really do the trick for me in that department.

Lucidamente March 21, 2010 at 6:14 pm

repug news conference: now it’s da ladies turn. Batshit Bachmann speaking, flanked by Jean Schmidt. Excuse me while I go have my eyeballs plucked out.

hoosiermama March 21, 2010 at 6:15 pm

[re=535520]Clankie[/re]: I saw that, too — I think I heard them just say that it was a rep. from Louisiana who switched to a nay.

Rosemaryrules March 21, 2010 at 6:15 pm

every time someone says “literally” we get to punch them in the nads. Or we could just do a shot. And the iraq.

samsuncle March 21, 2010 at 6:16 pm

I’m watching C-span now and if this is typical of how laws are made I think I would rather be watching someone make sausage.

Marxist-Leninist Papist March 21, 2010 at 6:17 pm

[re=535521]Lucidamente[/re]: Guess I just have never bothered exposing myself to the thing before this weekend; I am chronically allergic to my Yankee bourgeoisie democracy, particularly of the last couple of years of it, what with chimpy and his crew in office.

ella March 21, 2010 at 6:17 pm

Is it wrong to look at that photo and think Barry’s still a tasty morsel?

Texan Bulldoggette March 21, 2010 at 6:19 pm

[re=535518]Lucidamente[/re]: I like how they pretend they really liked Ole Bart until he went & pulled this crap. Any group that contains Michelle Bachmann, Mike Pence & Jean Schmidt should be oulawed or poop-bombed.

J. Robert Oppenheiner March 21, 2010 at 6:19 pm

Maybe I’m late to the party, but y’all ever read Nixon’s proposal for National Health Care? Maoist.

http://www.kaiserhealthnews.org/Stories/2009/September/03/nixon-proposal.aspx

Mr Blifil March 21, 2010 at 6:19 pm

I will be snorting cocaine from a platinum speculum dripping with abortificants. I will somehow attempt to keep my powder dry.

Texan Bulldoggette March 21, 2010 at 6:20 pm

[re=535531]ella[/re]: No ma’am…not wrong at all & now that he seems to have found a spine, he’s even yummier.

memzilla March 21, 2010 at 6:21 pm

216! YAY!

Hey you heartless reThuglican insurance company suckd***s, I gotcher “revise and extend” RYCHEER!

Rosemaryrules March 21, 2010 at 6:21 pm

[re=535531]ella[/re]: It’s right. It is oh so right.

hotdog March 21, 2010 at 6:21 pm

Stupak’s from Michigan, which is next to Canada, right? So this whole thing was about forcing his constituents to sneak across the border every time they want an abortion?

weejee March 21, 2010 at 6:22 pm

220 votes with 6:41 left

Lucidamente March 21, 2010 at 6:23 pm

[re=535534]J. Robert Oppenheiner[/re]: “I am now a Keynesian in economics” –Richard M. Nixon (New York Times, January 4, 1971)

Cookie Guggelman March 21, 2010 at 6:25 pm

[re=535531]ella[/re]: I’d party with it.

DustBowlBlues March 21, 2010 at 6:25 pm

Bart seems all excited to the star of the health care reform bill. I feel like shit, so I’ll be celebrating in my bed, with herbal tea laced with honey from my own hives. Oh, and the old man might just get lucky.

Cookie Guggelman March 21, 2010 at 6:28 pm

[re=535544]Lucidamente[/re]: Apart from Vietnam, Cambodia, Watergate and just being a generally evil motherfucker, Nixon wasn’t a bad preznit.

DustBowlBlues March 21, 2010 at 6:29 pm

[re=535459]thatonegirlsays[/re]: I’ve been on MSNBC all day. I went to their channel, expecting to see stories about “whores in lockup,” or one of their other standard weekend shows and BAM there was my pretend boy friend, David Shuster, saying “you’re welcome.” I was hooked. Except now it’s Ed Schulz–definitely not my pretend anything.

AnglRdr March 21, 2010 at 6:29 pm

[re=535535]Mr Blifil[/re]: Silica.

Also, this current vote is just a vote to start debate before the vote on the actual Senate bill. So buckle in, boys and girls, we got hours o’ fun ahead of us.

JeffBarea March 21, 2010 at 6:30 pm

YAY!!! I love a good party!!! We WONNNN!!!

You don’t read urban dictionary, apparently.

marley March 21, 2010 at 6:31 pm

What’s this Guam business?

Come here a minute March 21, 2010 at 6:31 pm

Has anybody noticed how much Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr kicks ass in the speaker’s chair?

J. Robert Oppenheiner March 21, 2010 at 6:32 pm

No, this thing going on isn’t the vote, it’s a vote on some rule or something. It’s a thing, not THE thing.

Lucidamente March 21, 2010 at 6:33 pm

[re=535547]Cookie Guggelman[/re]: True that. Don’t forget Chile.

DustBowlBlues March 21, 2010 at 6:34 pm

Fuck. My satellite dish is slow as molasses in the crappy weather. Is this the night the Emmanuel boys are featured on 60 Minutes?

weejee March 21, 2010 at 6:34 pm

Bart is like the usual collection of non-participant trolls appear in mass to take self-important bows at public works ribbon cuttings. They are oh so proud. But doesn’t that go before the fall?

thehelveticascenario March 21, 2010 at 6:34 pm

[re=535473]Clankie[/re]: Maybe we could have gotten Ted to say “wicked awesome”. Aw, I made myself feel bad. :(

memzilla March 21, 2010 at 6:36 pm

[re=535553]J. Robert Oppenheiner[/re]: It’s not *the* thing, but it’s the test of the thing, parliamentarianistically speaking.

Berkeley Bear March 21, 2010 at 6:37 pm

[re=535549]AnglRdr[/re]: True, but passing the rule is essentially like a cloture vote in the Senate – if you have the votes to set the debate, you have the votes to pass the bill. Now, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t drink hard and heavy when the final vote comes down, and that we shouldn’t all keep our fingers crossed for the time being, but its pretty damn huge.

President Beeblebrox March 21, 2010 at 6:37 pm

The CNNs told me: “6:28 p.m.: The House votes to move into general debate over the health care legislation. The vote is 224-206.
Debate is slated for two hours. The fact that the motion to debate passed is an indication that Democrats have enough votes to pass the legislation itself.”

Which means that there won’t be a vote until something like ten-millon o’clock tonight, since Republicans want to yell for three hours about ramming, cramming, pushing, and shoving things down various American orifices, while the Dems will, um, send for the hookers ‘n’ blow?

hotdog March 21, 2010 at 6:39 pm

[re=535547]Cookie Guggelman[/re]: Don’t forget the racism and anti-semitism.

sati demise March 21, 2010 at 6:39 pm

[re=535552]Come here a minute[/re]: yea, Jesse is showing how it is done. I would hit that, no prob.

ForTheTurnstiles March 21, 2010 at 6:40 pm

[re=535554]Lucidamente[/re]: the “other” September 11. Really a pivotal point in history, setting a precedent that made the 2003 invasion of Iraq seem plausible to the neocons (along with the 1953 extravaganza in Iran). I’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for Popular Unity and Allende.

DustBowlBlues March 21, 2010 at 6:41 pm

[re=535465]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: One of the wonkeratti just reminded me–are you the one with the new knees? How’s that going? More to the point, what kind of shit did they give you for pain?

Here’s piece of great advice when dealing with doctors–I did it years ago with my dentist and they get tight-jawed, but respond with a better prescription, all the same:

Dr. – —
Are you familiar with the New England Journal of Medicine study of how doctors under-medicate for pain?

If you’re not at least perc-olating, demand oxy-contin. You know how kids get candy and ice cream when they have to go to the doctor? Right? I consider drugs the candy for adults who have to go to surgery. You’ve earned legal narcotics.

Jukesgrrl March 21, 2010 at 6:42 pm

[re=535522]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Those damn kids and their opinions. But you don’t need to go so far as to ski. I blew my knee out stepping off a curb on the way to the theater. That passes for athletics in my book. Good luck with the deck. Every Amurrican should have one on which to pass the time, waiting for their trip to the death panel.

InsidiousTuna March 21, 2010 at 6:45 pm

God, this is painful for so many reasons. I need macaroni and cheese and scotch. Maybe Hoyer will be done by the time I get back.

Lionel Hutz Esq. March 21, 2010 at 6:47 pm

Just another instance of why Obama is such a bad president. If he had let everyone know that he was bringing hookers and blow, he would have gotten at least half of the Republicans to vote for Health Care.

sati demise March 21, 2010 at 6:48 pm

[re=535560]President Beeblebrox[/re]: golf clap. well played, sir.
so, of those 224, we need 216……Intrade is at 97% pass.

rocktonsammy March 21, 2010 at 6:49 pm

To bad Teddy isn’t here for this.

Marxist-Leninist Papist March 21, 2010 at 6:50 pm

[re=535564]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: And you know, its all very ironic that the U.S took out Allende because he was fairly moderate for a Marxist (no disrespect intended). I mean, he stopped his supporters from carrying out land reform for Pete’s Sakes. I mean, you would think that Uncle Sam would prefer the commies to play by the parliamentary rules, if he wanted his Captain America bull shit to be believed.

Looy March 21, 2010 at 6:50 pm

Will there be any nuns in the limo?

chowkster March 21, 2010 at 6:51 pm

I gotta say, I am beginning to like Steny Hoyer

hockeymom March 21, 2010 at 6:53 pm

[re=535548]DustBowlBlues[/re]: He’s my pretend cable-repair guy.

Lionel Hutz Esq. March 21, 2010 at 6:55 pm

Things are looking bad for the Republicans: FOX News is going with a panel that is 3:1 Conservative (and the 1 is Juan Williams, who is liberal only by FOX standards).

And all they are talking about is that there are still free abortions for all, no matter what anyone says.

chowkster March 21, 2010 at 6:57 pm

haha Hoyer is talking about ‘punk staffer’

Buzz Feedback March 21, 2010 at 6:57 pm

Entirely possible FDL may explode due to energy created by its own angst.

Cookie Guggelman March 21, 2010 at 6:58 pm

[re=535561]hotdog[/re]: Ah, yes, Nixon did love the Jews and the black man.

Cranky Little Camperette March 21, 2010 at 7:00 pm

Unanimous consent again?

foulmouthed mrscreant March 21, 2010 at 7:03 pm

Health care vote? I thought it was The fucking Catalina Wine Mixer!

DustBowlBlues March 21, 2010 at 7:03 pm

[re=535573]Marxist-Leninist Papist[/re]: I believe Chile was mostly about copper. They were going to nationalize it, and ITT wanted it cheap. Of course, I might have been entirely confused about that. But assuming the evil was on the part of a giant corporation is generally a good bet.

slithytoves March 21, 2010 at 7:05 pm

What’s that round button on the repub lapels? I’ve been wondering all day.

Pooperazzi March 21, 2010 at 7:06 pm

The real issues no longer interest me; I just want to inform the TeePees that they lost in 2008 and tonight, so get over it.

weejee March 21, 2010 at 7:06 pm

[re=535573]Marxist-Leninist Papist[/re]: Me thinks, the philosophic disconnects of the current GOPeers is worse than when Trickie Dick had ol’ Sal whacked. Setting aside that Nixon was the first Prez to be sufficiently anti-red to recognize 20% of the world’s population, the current bunch spin so fast you get intellectual whiplash. He’ll sometimes they almost, repeat almost, sound like the have caught the Trotskys and then snicker-snack out comes the vorpal blade and Janejoe Q. Public get maximally invasive political surgery they weren’t expecting.

thatonegirlsays March 21, 2010 at 7:07 pm

Just went to a bar in Houston full of Rodeo clowns (well, not actual clowns, but people who attended the Rodeo) and half the teevees were showing the healthcare debate. The looks on their faces? FUCKING PRICELESS.

weejee March 21, 2010 at 7:09 pm

[re=535584]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Yer correct, under the Nixonian cover was International Thieves and Thugs. They had better on-the-ground intelligence than the CIA.

Marxist-Leninist Papist March 21, 2010 at 7:11 pm

[re=535584]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Wouldn’t doubt that interpretation of the events; just am confused by the ways of American hegemony towards man. Trusting the logic of parliamentary democracy to undermine the integrity of a revolutionary movement seems a safer bet then backing a bunch of fasciod men in uniform. Luckily for South and Central Americia, they don’t put up with this garbage, because the Eye of the Yankee Northern Empire has is attention stretched by the Middle East these days, those lucky Arabs…

Holy Cow!! March 21, 2010 at 7:15 pm

I am having an abortion to celebrate!

doloras March 21, 2010 at 7:15 pm

[re=535590]Marxist-Leninist Papist[/re]: The important thing for American hegemony is that no-one can ever be seen to be defying The Empire and getting away with it. That goes for movements who win by the rules of bourgeois legality, just as much as revolutionary regimes or military coup-mongers. The important thing is putting The Fear into anyone else who might want to stray from Imperial oversight.

Nerdalicious March 21, 2010 at 7:15 pm

Yeah, Gergen is starting to look like droopy face Leiberman. Sads. Here are my top 10 fighters for this bill: Nancy Pelosi, Anthony Weiner, Alan Grayson, Sherrod Brown, Howard Dean, Joe Sestak, Steny Hoyer, Ed Schultz, Keith Olberman.

Marxist-Leninist Papist March 21, 2010 at 7:17 pm

MMM..my Lord of the Rings analogy makes me hunger to do battle with redneck orcs and Paulutard trolls. Particularly trolls. Where are they ? You would expect at least one to make an appearance on this special day.

DustBowlBlues March 21, 2010 at 7:17 pm

[re=535586]Pooperazzi[/re]: Me, too. What the fuck is the deal with those round buttons?

southern mark smith March 21, 2010 at 7:18 pm

[re=535585]slithytoves[/re]: Could it be this?

http://thinkprogress.org/2010/03/20/little-punk-staffer/

southern mark smith March 21, 2010 at 7:19 pm

[re=535550]JeffBarea[/re]: Yes, we do. But there’s nothing there.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jeff+barea

Nerdalicious March 21, 2010 at 7:19 pm

Oops, & Dennis Kuncinich ( I know he hates the bill & so do I, but it was the right thing to do)

DustBowlBlues March 21, 2010 at 7:20 pm

[re=535593]Nerdalicious[/re]: Rache? I agree about Pelosi. I can’t believe she kept the idiot Democrats together.

imissopus March 21, 2010 at 7:20 pm

[re=535569]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Only if they had been male hookers.

Zadig March 21, 2010 at 7:20 pm

[re=535578]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: You know, I’ve been thinking: Fox News and the Republican party will just pivot to the next issue and stop talking about HRC entirely by Wednesday, but the teabaggers actually live in the bullshit fantasy land that Beck et al have conjured up. How many wingtard brains will just completely break when the Death Panels never materialize?

I think most will simply forget what they were yelling about, guided gently to the next issue by the punditocracy. A lot will insist, decades down the line, that the FEMA death camps are OUT THERE, in the NIGHT. Some will just break the fuck down, maybe do a shooting. What I’m curious about is whether, years from now, a few will admit that they were ‘mistaken’ (being charitable, here).

I suspect they will number in the TENS, nationwide.

RoscoePColtraine March 21, 2010 at 7:20 pm

Looks like Obama has a boner in the photo. “Barry, is that a health care bill in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me fuck some republicans in the ass?”

Also, slaughterhouse five rule vis a vis republicans having abortions on teevee — fucking brilliant, Ken.

obfuscator March 21, 2010 at 7:21 pm

[re=535588]thatonegirlsays[/re]: i’m picturing a bar full of actual rodeo clowns watching the debate and it is amusing.

DustBowlBlues March 21, 2010 at 7:22 pm

[re=535599]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Oops. I meant Rachel.

slithytoves March 21, 2010 at 7:24 pm

[re=535596]southern mark smith[/re]: Don’t think so, they are dark buttons with some gray shiny something. What’s the point of wearing a button when you’re on teevee if no one knows what the fuck it is?

slithytoves March 21, 2010 at 7:25 pm

Also, some Dems have the button.

Cranky Little Camperette March 21, 2010 at 7:25 pm

[re=535601]Zadig[/re]: Anyone got the over/under on what the next Teabagger issue du jour’s gonna be?

Nerdalicious March 21, 2010 at 7:26 pm

This is a true story, me & my friend were at an outdoor cafe yesterday, & in walks Peggy Noonington ha ha. No, in wheels this old guy in a wheelchair with his leg all wrapped up in gauze, I suspect overweight, old, problems with leg, must have Type II Diabetes. He starts ranting loudly in a outdoor restaurant about the govt. takeover bullshit, right from the chalkboard of Glenn Beck craziness. So here is this hypocrite on Medicare, overweight, sucking up tax dollars with his fat ass and Type II diabetes from his crappy diet all his life and he is screaming in a public place about denying young people basic health care. I say this all the time: The olds, who have a couple seconds left on this planet want to leave us all dead, suffering, on a molton lava core.

Oldskool March 21, 2010 at 7:29 pm

Barry looks like he’s heading to a night on the town Wayne Brady-style. Kick some wingnut ass for me too, big guy.

Nerdalicious March 21, 2010 at 7:29 pm

Dust Bowl Blues:
Yes, & Racheal Maddow. I have so much respect for Pelosi, the women is amazing thru this entire fiasco. I love the gavel trot today. Spitting on people? Jeebus, Glenn Dick chalk board psychos.

JeffBarea March 21, 2010 at 7:33 pm

[re=535597]southern mark smith[/re]: Familiarize yourself with the concept of an Easter Egg. This time I will make it very easy http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=swarm+theory

President Beeblebrox March 21, 2010 at 7:33 pm

[re=535587]weejee[/re]: No less a Nixon-hater than Hunter Thompson went on record saying that Bush made Nixon look positively socialist. I mean, hell – Tricky Dick pushed through enough price control and environmental laws that today’s conservatives would claim that Satan himself invented.

Flanders March 21, 2010 at 7:36 pm

[re=535610]Nerdalicious[/re]: It wasn’t LascauxCaveman, was it? He had both knees removed today.

tootsieroll March 21, 2010 at 7:37 pm

[re=535588]thatonegirlsays[/re]: A fucking bar showing the HCR debate and not March Madness? That is fucking sadder than sad.

slithytoves March 21, 2010 at 7:42 pm

[re=535610]Nerdalicious[/re]: Nah, it ain’t simply the olds. I was at a rally yesterday and there were plenty of olds on the “people who have active brain cells” side.

Nerdalicious March 21, 2010 at 7:43 pm

Flanders:
Yeah, I saw the Caveman strutting across the Capitol with the gavel gang today. The teabaggers fucked him up. huh? I’d rather have my knees removed than spat on.

Zadig March 21, 2010 at 7:43 pm

[re=535609]Cranky Little Camperette[/re]: Jobs. They’re moaning about JOBS FIRST1! now, but wait until Barry proposes doing something about it. Then jobs will be the worst thing that ever happened to ‘Merka, and if you don’t quit your job in protest you’re a union stooge.

Nerdalicious March 21, 2010 at 7:44 pm

Slithytoves:
Yeah, true.

Monsieur Grumpe March 21, 2010 at 7:45 pm

[re=535585]slithytoves[/re]:
A self destruct button?

thatonegirlsays March 21, 2010 at 7:45 pm

[re=535603]obfuscator[/re]: That is almost as amusing as watching Tea Partiers look miserable[re=535624]tootsieroll[/re]: The teevees directly above the bar were showing the negro spirit game involving the bouncing of pig leather balls into hoops. But the teevees along the wall were showing the communist takeover of America.

tootsieroll March 21, 2010 at 7:45 pm

[re=535565]DustBowlBlues[/re]: “Are you familiar with the New England Journal of Medicine study of how doctors under-medicate for pain?”

I am. I’m a pharmacist at a major Boston teaching hospital. I remember when one of the JCHO surveys was all about how patient’s pain was being assessed and addressed.

Then they forgot about that to focus on whether or not we had all our performance evaluations done.

It is a travesty. And don’t even get me started on the whole Oxycontin crap. It’s a wonderful drug that benefits so many chronic pain sufferers, but because of the social stigma and people have to jump through flaming hoops to get it filled.

And my Nana died the morning they were finally going to pick up the morphine Rx the doctor finally relented on prescribing to make her comfortable. I curse that man to this day.

NYNYNY March 21, 2010 at 7:46 pm

[re=535595]DustBowlBlues[/re]: OMG, those round lapel pins are Heinekin bottle caps.

ps: I exhausted my COBRA too. And I exhausted the gentle woman wasserman-shultz too.

pps: that guy’s afraid of tentacles! Lulz

chascates March 21, 2010 at 7:47 pm

Passage of the bill will enable the loons to make real money off their hysteria. From World Nut Daily you can spend $9.99 to send a copy of the constitution to the President & Congress with the prewritten note of:

Your administration has been characterized by unconstitutional actions – from forcing citizens to buy health insurance, to penalizing people for their thoughts (hate crimes), to taxing the very air we breathe.

Still hoping for a mass exodus of these folks to Alaska.

Zadig March 21, 2010 at 7:48 pm

[re=535625]slithytoves[/re]: It’s the dumbs.

american mutt March 21, 2010 at 7:49 pm

watching these guys waste their time bitching is going to make it that much sweeter when it passes.

Way Cool Larry March 21, 2010 at 7:50 pm

such mixed feelings about this– the bill is pretty lame compared to what we could have done, but still it’s amazing we finally got past all the fucking rethug bullshit and are so close to serious history.

sanantonerose March 21, 2010 at 7:50 pm

Wally has a lispth. Is that a pre-existing condition or does he just get like that when he’s angry?

NYNYNY March 21, 2010 at 7:50 pm

Boener asks the republicans to behave like grown-ups if the bill passes. Of course, if it doesn’t pass, everyone is welcome to continue acting like whiny babies with poop diapers.

slithytoves March 21, 2010 at 7:51 pm

[re=535636]Zadig[/re]: Indeed.

slithytoves March 21, 2010 at 7:52 pm

Jesus Christ – David Sedaris is a republican?

sanantonerose March 21, 2010 at 7:53 pm

John Lewis is awesome. I’d watch cspan everyday if he were on hollering and imploring.

Sam Johnson, however, is all about freedom from…everything. He mentions caving. Why don’t you go back to living in one?

sanantonerose March 21, 2010 at 7:55 pm

Where are the Dems from Texas? Christ, we do have some, don’t we? I believe I’m represented by one. Charlie G, get the fuck up to the mic!

sanantonerose March 21, 2010 at 7:58 pm

OH thank god. Lloyd Doggett. Our bill is either too long, or too short. Too thick, or too thin. The Republicans are never satisfied because their answer to reform is never never never.

HEED THE GAVEL.

Anything like fear the reaper?

chowkster March 21, 2010 at 8:00 pm

[re=535644]sanantonerose[/re]: The Rep from Austin was there

slithytoves March 21, 2010 at 8:00 pm

[re=535644]sanantonerose[/re]: There you go – someone with a name that begins with two consonants.

AnglRdr March 21, 2010 at 8:00 pm

Oh yay, more Nunes lies.

He is very neat and carefully coiffed while comparing the US to the failed USSR.

MzNicky March 21, 2010 at 8:01 pm

[re=535531]ella[/re]: No.

Jim89048 March 21, 2010 at 8:01 pm

[re=535606]slithytoves[/re]: Going strictly on my own observation that they are all whores, my guess would be “Easy” button.

Oldskool March 21, 2010 at 8:02 pm

Damn, this debate was all about Russia? I think he was reading the talking points meant for the jobs bill.

chowkster March 21, 2010 at 8:04 pm

Is Sander Levin related to Carl Levin?

The Silver Fox March 21, 2010 at 8:05 pm

Nunes was cold goin’ nuts about socialism. For a guy whose district likely exists solely because of huge federal agriculture subsidies, he really should shut the fuck up.

Servo March 21, 2010 at 8:05 pm

[re=535640]NYNYNY[/re]:
Dogs don’t shut up when you tell them. Only when you throw a shoe do they understand “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”

BeWoot March 21, 2010 at 8:06 pm

Gotta love that Nunes shit. Communist dictatorship, indeed.

southern mark smith March 21, 2010 at 8:08 pm

[re=535606]slithytoves[/re]: Sorry, I didn’t see the buttons in question. But I thought Barney was pretty cool for making those.

And your point is well-taken. It must be so that they can stand on the 2nd-floor balcony of the Capitol and wear them for all the teabaggers four blocks away to see.

DangerousLiberal March 21, 2010 at 8:08 pm

Now its a thing called Ginny-Brown White or some awful thing, prattling about socialism. Is she the dumbest member of Congress, or did she come in 2nd?

user-of-owls March 21, 2010 at 8:09 pm

heh, heh…Mssr. Levin introduces a “young and energetic” Ron Kind. Maybe he hoped it would keep him awake. It’s sorta funny seeing Levin drone over bits of passionate oratory, like that silence between the explosions during a fireworks display.

weejee March 21, 2010 at 8:10 pm

The demtards are being accused of sending vets along with the oldes to death camps.

This last hour should be fun!!!!

southern mark smith March 21, 2010 at 8:11 pm

[re=535618]JeffBarea[/re]: Thanks.

First, you invoke Poe’s law, and now you want to school me on Swarm Theory. Are you wit us or agin us?

Cranky Little Camperette March 21, 2010 at 8:11 pm

[re=535658]BeWoot[/re]: Bachman/Nunes, 2012

Servo March 21, 2010 at 8:14 pm

I’m waiting for Jamie Farr to hit the gong.

Smoke Filled Roommate March 21, 2010 at 8:15 pm

[re=535585]slithytoves[/re]: I think they’re replica Reagan/Bush ’80 pins.

hoosiermama March 21, 2010 at 8:16 pm

[re=535664]weejee[/re]: And the rep. from NJ’s words were stricken from the rekkid. This has been a complete dramedy, “gavel to gavel.”

hockeymom March 21, 2010 at 8:17 pm

To whomever asked the question….FOX will be moving on federal pensions next week, as outrage du jour.

Cape Clod March 21, 2010 at 8:18 pm

Is Obama bring Bo along? To symbolically pee on Boener’s leg?

AnglRdr March 21, 2010 at 8:21 pm

[re=535660]DangerousLiberal[/re]: I don’t think she even comes in the top (bottom?) five of stupids.

BeWoot March 21, 2010 at 8:22 pm

[re=535660]DangerousLiberal[/re]: It’s a very crowded field. Photo finish doesn’t begin to describe the crowd jostling for that award.

weejee March 21, 2010 at 8:23 pm

[re=535666]Cranky Little Camperette[/re]: The mind melts!!!

Rosemaryrules March 21, 2010 at 8:23 pm

[re=535466]Cookie Guggelman[/re]: God I love those.

slithytoves March 21, 2010 at 8:25 pm

Davis has a silver bar over his button. Must be a lieutenant in the semi-secret society.

Hooray For Anything March 21, 2010 at 8:28 pm

I’m flipping through the channels waiting for live footage of Rush getting into his private jet to make his move to Costa Rica but, sadly, it’s just a bunch of yammering talking heads.

OzoneTom March 21, 2010 at 8:30 pm

So is there going to be a boom in non-aborted babies in 9 months?

Baby K. Smith II?

Oldskool March 21, 2010 at 8:32 pm

Billo is bitching up a storm about insurance companies. The apocalypse is officially here.

AKAM80TheWolf March 21, 2010 at 8:33 pm

Go Rob Andrews (D-NJ) This hot bitch represents ME!

tootsieroll March 21, 2010 at 8:35 pm

I keep waiting for some catastrophic interruption, because this isn’t really going to be allowed to happen right? Some wingnut is going to storm the rotunda shooting, or fly a plane into it, right?

Rosemaryrules March 21, 2010 at 8:38 pm

[re=535664]weejee[/re]: Don’t you get it? The man in charge is of a brown color so the whole world is going to shit. I’m so fucking tired of these assholes.

loquaciousmusic March 21, 2010 at 8:40 pm

Instead of watching C-SPAN, I’m watching Psychedelic Furs videos on YouTube and flipping between Wonkette and the New York Times. It’s much more civilized this way, I think.

MzNicky March 21, 2010 at 8:41 pm

I’ve got C-Span on mute and guessing which of these ding-dongs is R or D, based on physical appearance alone, before the caption comes up. So far I’m hittin’ it just about every time. Grouchy bulldog-ish jowl-flappers, R, every time. Guy with the bicycle lapel pin and bow tie, D, duh.

Rosemaryrules March 21, 2010 at 8:44 pm

[re=535689]OzoneTom[/re]: Hey Tom. I volunteer to be the first to have a gay abortion against my will during Lent. Also for the troops.

sati demise March 21, 2010 at 8:51 pm

[re=535698]tootsieroll[/re]: we all have PTS. I thought the same thing earlier

Clankie March 21, 2010 at 8:51 pm

Every conceivable definition of the word ‘blowhard’ is exemplified somewhere in these proceedings.

Smoke Filled Roommate March 21, 2010 at 8:51 pm

Yay! Raul Grijalva (D-AZ), yes AZ gets his one minute!

sanantonerose March 21, 2010 at 8:54 pm

In arguments about health chare with one of my conservative colleagues, he said “this country did just fine in the late 19th century.” Dr. Robert McElvaine is correct in calling these folks “regressives.” THE 19TH CENTURY, FOR FUCK’S SAKE?!?

Although I do enjoy the hats from the the time period.

Cranky Little Camperette March 21, 2010 at 8:56 pm

[re=535723]sanantonerose[/re]: On the plus side: Nice hats + opium prescribed for “female troubles.”

On the minus side: Arsenic and leeches also prescribed…

sanantonerose March 21, 2010 at 8:58 pm

My birthright is personal freedom? THEN WHERE MY ABORTIONS AT, TX REP. JEB HENSARLING?

Any constituents who vote for a man named “Jeb” deserve what they get. *staring in the general direction of Dallas, Athens*

sanantonerose March 21, 2010 at 9:00 pm

[re=535725]Cranky Little Camperette[/re]: PLUS the vibration machines doctors used to cure “hysteria.” Some were even steam-powered! Can you imagine?

The 19th century is starting to sound pretty good.

JeffBarea March 21, 2010 at 9:02 pm

[re=535665]southern mark smith[/re]: Um, I created an application of Swarm Intelligence to Political activity and named it generically “Swarm Theory – after the overarching theory.” I’ll figure out a more catchy name when the book comes out.

Right now I’m the leader of the Illuminati (run off to urban dictionary), that should answer your question or not.

*Jingles keys*

Cranky Little Camperette March 21, 2010 at 9:07 pm

[re=535729]sanantonerose[/re]: Steam power requires some form of heat source, which leads to all sort of Rube Goldberg-esque images.

AddHomonym March 21, 2010 at 9:15 pm

With Kucinich, Stupak, and Michael Moore, however reluctantly, coming around, unless anyone has heard from Chomsky, the entire giant mosh pit of the American left is now on board. VICTORY!

(Not counting Alexander Cockburn because WTF.)

I love you (^ March 21, 2010 at 9:16 pm

I’m just looking forward to the commemorative Blingee.

Servo March 21, 2010 at 9:16 pm

[re=535729]sanantonerose[/re]:
*chooga-chooga-chooga* They had to ride the horse home, too.

PabaBritannica March 21, 2010 at 9:18 pm

Mike Pence is mad at America. You have broken history. You broke it now you buy it. America, you must now buy America.

sanantonerose March 21, 2010 at 9:19 pm

[re=535736]Cranky Little Camperette[/re]: Like this? http://dashboards.tv/images/rube-goldberg.jpg

Here’s one that the patent office rejected in 1891.

sanantonerose March 21, 2010 at 9:22 pm

“Obama is the most abortion-loving President ever! Stand for freedom! I’m gonna go sit down now.” – Pence

PabaBritannica March 21, 2010 at 9:23 pm

Has anyone else mentioned how Paul Ryan looks like 1) A large 10 year old or 2) Eddie Munster?

Kathryn. March 21, 2010 at 9:25 pm

Hookers and blow? Typical liberal decadence. I’m celebrating healthcare reform by smoking a bowl and eating spaghetti, as our Founding Fathers intended.

sanantonerose March 21, 2010 at 9:30 pm

The America that is big enough to give you everything you want is also big enough to take it all away. So there. Thhhbbbbpppt.

thatonegirlsays March 21, 2010 at 9:32 pm

A Newsweek reporter just compared President Obama to the long distance runners of Kenya.

I am hoarse from laughter and screaming at my television and I only have 1 shot of vodka left. I need my communist health insurance soon, my liver and heart will be failing soon.

liz March 21, 2010 at 9:34 pm

ahhhhh

helenaHandbasket500 March 21, 2010 at 9:39 pm

[re=535763]thatonegirlsays[/re]:
hahaha! i was in the kitchen “refreshing” my vodka drinky when I heard that, but I thought they compared him to “The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner”.
Not sure which is more bizarre…

memzilla March 21, 2010 at 9:40 pm

[re=535763]thatonegirlsays[/re]: Only 1 shot of vodka left? You must ration your health care better.

sanantonerose March 21, 2010 at 9:41 pm

I’m pretty sure there is such a thing as Republican cancer.

memzilla March 21, 2010 at 9:43 pm

[re=535774]sanantonerose[/re]: Yes, and we’re watching 200 some-odd cells at work.

sanantonerose March 21, 2010 at 9:47 pm

Oh boy! Eric Cantor! His great grandfather Eddie was so much more entertaining.

PabaBritannica March 21, 2010 at 9:49 pm

Eric Cantor is the least believable angry man alive.

sanantonerose March 21, 2010 at 9:53 pm

Fuck this shit. I gotta go have some tomato soup, Kraft singles, and saltines.

How appropriate is it that I’m sick on National Health Care Reform Socialist Utopia day?

PabaBritannica March 21, 2010 at 9:54 pm

Get your points cleared first, curly. PARLIAMENTARY SUPER SLAM!

sanantonerose March 21, 2010 at 9:55 pm

Mr. Parliamentary Inquiry needs to go back to Kongress Skool.

queeraselvis v 2.0 March 21, 2010 at 9:59 pm

[re=535799]sanantonerose[/re]: HAHAHA. David Obey WIN.

thatonegirlsays March 21, 2010 at 10:02 pm

So after all the fat ass tea partiers have massive coronaries when this passes, they will be carted off to Stalingrad Communist Hospital for Socialists and receive health care.

PabaBritannica March 21, 2010 at 10:04 pm

I have “Der Kommissar” playing over John Boner right now. It’s a decent mix. Don’t turn around, the Commie Czar’s in town.

queeraselvis v 2.0 March 21, 2010 at 10:08 pm

Screamy disingenous orange motherfucker says what?

smellyal8r March 21, 2010 at 10:08 pm

Funny that a bunch of people who have “gold plated” insurance will stand up and tell us “tough luck” or “let’s start over”. John Boehner smokes for crissakes. If Eric Cantor had a pair, he’d have stood up and said, “btw, I renounce and reject my Congressional coverage”. Boehener got to go to the WH for a meeting with the Preznit on TV and says this wasn’t transparent. “Hell No”. They are the “Hell No” party. It’s great having David Obey in the chair too…

memzilla March 21, 2010 at 10:10 pm

Obey BitchSlaps Boehner FTW!

helenaHandbasket500 March 21, 2010 at 10:10 pm

David Obey SMACKDOWN!

queeraselvis v 2.0 March 21, 2010 at 10:12 pm

Gee, John. Maybe you oughta have a doctor see you about that cough. You know, the doctor that your constituents pay for?

queeraselvis v 2.0 March 21, 2010 at 10:14 pm

Return comedy to this institution? Oh, comity. Meh, potato, potahtoe.

imissopus March 21, 2010 at 10:16 pm

I dare say these standing O’s for Nancy are giving me chills.

I just turned it on, what did Obey say in his smackdown?

helenaHandbasket500 March 21, 2010 at 10:18 pm

[re=535864]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: thank you for clearing that up…i thought i was hallucinating from the chronic again!

helenaHandbasket500 March 21, 2010 at 10:20 pm

Boner was trying to demand a roll call. Obey gave him the “no” in no uncertain terms.

queeraselvis v 2.0 March 21, 2010 at 10:28 pm

Wow, Nancy. That was probably the most elegant “Fuck You” to Republicans I’ve heard, like, ever.

Rosemaryrules March 21, 2010 at 10:35 pm

[re=535667]Servo[/re]: My money’s on Nipsy Russell.

helenaHandbasket500 March 21, 2010 at 10:53 pm

There are 34 known Communists in Congress…..
errrr… I mean 34 Brave Democrats.

lulzmonger March 22, 2010 at 12:04 am

“What the fuck is the deal with those round buttons?”

1.PRESS BUTTON 2.ENJOY BACON

Smoke Filled Roommate March 22, 2010 at 12:31 am

[re=536270]lulzmonger[/re]: They are hand dryers!

southern mark smith March 22, 2010 at 1:10 am

[re=535732]JeffBarea[/re]: I’m ready–let’s go!

LONG LIVE MYTRON

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