GOOD FOR HIM  12:32 pm March 19, 2010

Anderson Cooper Loses All Of CNN’s Wealth On Jeopardy

by Jim Newell

Look at that sad face. That’s the face of a CNN anchor who just lost to Cheech Marin on Alex Trebek’s Canadian Trivia. Which is completely fine! Cheech Marin is smart, maybe! This isn’t nearly as bad as Wolf Blitzer’s last appearance. [Philadelphia Will Do]

 
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{ 40 comments }

widget09 March 19, 2010 at 12:35 pm

I don’t care how bad he did, he could still beat the snot out of Wolf Blitzer.

Buzz Feedback March 19, 2010 at 12:36 pm

Perhaps that chinless hump Erick Erickson can be the next CNN contestant.

bfstevie March 19, 2010 at 12:37 pm

Yeah, but did Cheech Martin do cleft palate surgery on a child buried under a pile of ruble in Haiti?

AxmxZ March 19, 2010 at 12:37 pm

Next time on Jeopardy, watch Carrot Top eviscerate Fareed Zakaria!

Seek March 19, 2010 at 12:37 pm

CNN needs a memo telling their talent that they actually are only hired for their looks. They do not need to prove to the viewing audience that they are nothing more than talking heads. Shut up and look pretty AC. It’s what you do.

Come here a minute March 19, 2010 at 12:41 pm

That’s exactly the same look as when Kathy Griffin said that thing about penises.

Raumfahrer March 19, 2010 at 12:43 pm

To be fair, AC didn’t actually do so poorly, and could have won if he had gotten the PATENTLY OBVIOUS final jeopardy question (quick everyone, which famous book from around the turn of the century has a tornado as a major plot point??)

pattycake March 19, 2010 at 12:43 pm

Even the Comics Curmudgeon could beat Coop & the Blitz.

Lascauxcaveman March 19, 2010 at 12:48 pm

I watched this last night, and I gotta say, trivia-knowledge-wise, the three that were on last night were head and shoulders way far above any group of celebrity Jeopardizers I’ve ever seen in the past. Cheech especially.

At times they seemed nearly as smart as some regular contestants. I was stunned, to say the least.

Also, Anderson Cooper’s charity was some AIDS thing; big surprise there, huh?

AxmxZ March 19, 2010 at 12:49 pm

[re=533903]Raumfahrer[/re]: Wizard of OZ?..

plowman March 19, 2010 at 12:50 pm

Another compelling argument to LEGALIZE IT!

Mr Blifil March 19, 2010 at 12:51 pm

I guess we’ve now all seen his “0″ face.

chaste everywhere March 19, 2010 at 12:51 pm

[re=533903]Raumfahrer[/re]: The novelization of “Twister”? (You didn’t say which century.)

Spike March 19, 2010 at 12:52 pm

Did Cheech give the money to NORML?

gjdodger March 19, 2010 at 12:52 pm

Rip the shirt. How cliche.

[re=533894]bfstevie[/re]: Figures the Russians would send money rather than food.

Prommie March 19, 2010 at 12:54 pm

[re=533903]Raumfahrer[/re]: Holy fuck, batman, and I thought all of teh gays were obsessed with the Wizard of Oz, how could he miss it?

I has some pretty schaden-y freuede, right now. If you are not the least ashamed of it, if you are actually very proud of it, is it still schadenfreude?

Raumfahrer March 19, 2010 at 12:54 pm

[re=533910]AxmxZ[/re]: That’s the one!

Raumfahrer March 19, 2010 at 12:55 pm

[re=533913]chaste everywhere[/re]: Point taken…I tend to forget about the fact that another century has turned recently. I tried to black out most of the first decade with alcohol :-)

Way Cool Larry March 19, 2010 at 12:56 pm

I never really got the impression AC was dumb– certainly not in the same way Wolf is.

[re=533897]Seek[/re]: Yeah, that Wolf Blitzer– he’s so dreamy! I could watch his beard all day long.

SayItWithWookies March 19, 2010 at 12:56 pm

They did a lot better once they got the horrible first category out of the way, which called for the contestants to identify what continent various locations were found on. Nobody got the Sonora Desert right (Cheech said Mexico), and they all were in the red for a while early on — it was a truly shameful display of geographical knowledge.

[re=533897]Seek[/re]: Anderson was not just hired for his looks — he was also hired because of his rich and famous mommy.

TGY March 19, 2010 at 12:57 pm

He needed to smoke more weed to beat Marin, obvs.

Snarkalicious March 19, 2010 at 12:58 pm

[re=533897]Seek[/re]: But Wolf Blitzer looks like a pedophile… I guess it was a name thing. Reminds of the time when I was bartending, and this dude who looked like a pedophile came in for a few drinks, but I let him stay, because it’s not polite to eject fools simply because they put you in mind of Law and Order SVU. I also covered his tab because his name was ‘Kojak Valentine’.

nappyduggs March 19, 2010 at 1:01 pm

Re: Anderson Cooper Loses All of CNN’s Wealth on Jeopardy

It is a sad commentary on the still tenuous state of the economy when a couple of Wolf Blitzer’s used make-up sponges, some Crayola-written transcripts from “Larry King Live[sic],” and a half-used bottle of “I’m Not Really a Waitress” left by Campbell Brown are considered “wealth.”

Gorillionaire March 19, 2010 at 1:03 pm

When Blitzer was on, the funny thing with him was that he didn’t even seem to be aware of how horrifically badly he was losing. He just kept the same dumbshit “pretend that I’m concentrating real hard” look on his face and kept chiming in with one stupid answer after another. Finally at the very end of the game he looked around and was like “sheesh, was this game rigged or something?” This is basically how his entire life will end.

fruitjunk March 19, 2010 at 1:06 pm

He eerily looks like Mr.Burns in that photo.

Extemporanus March 19, 2010 at 1:06 pm

[re=533921]SayItWithWookies[/re]: And much like mommy, his bottoms are tops.

SayItWithWookies March 19, 2010 at 1:08 pm

[re=533919]Raumfahrer[/re]: It was slightly more difficult than that — the question actually asked which author was inspired by seeing a small tornado in 1890, so the correct response (had any of the contestants given it) was L. Frank Baum. Nevertheless, it was a sad performance, even by the dumbed-down standards of celebrity Jeopardy.

Extemporanus March 19, 2010 at 1:18 pm

[re=533950]fruitjunk[/re]: That’s OK — he looks like Mr. Graves in this one.

Man, I really miss that show. Once they replaced him with Ahmad Rashād, it was all downhill from there.

WIDTAP March 19, 2010 at 1:21 pm

Anderson congratulated Cheech on his show, but spent most of the interview with Cheech excusing his own poor performance. Cheech sums up Anderson’s final comparison to other CNN personalities as “Damning himself (Anderson) with faint praise.”

Who would have guessed that a guy who had a successful stand-up comedian career would have such a quick mind?

Lascauxcaveman March 19, 2010 at 1:24 pm

[re=533953]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Actually the word they used was “cyclone” not tornado, and I think the use of the less popular word threw them off. My 10-year-old daughter blurted out “Wizard of Oz” before I got it, but since I chimed in with “Who was Baum,” I was declared the winner of all CNNs monies.

Raumfahrer March 19, 2010 at 1:28 pm

[re=533953]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Yes, true, it did require you to actually pick the author of the “Wizard of Oz”, but nobody even got to the Wizard of Oz in the first place. Cheech said Stephen King, for fucks sake.

sticky March 19, 2010 at 1:38 pm

In fairness this was Anderson Cooper’s second appearance and on the first appearance he won while mopping the floor with the other contestants.

Cheech was the fastest of the three in this show on the buzzer. Anderson was beating Tyler and doing OK, but Cheech’s score was swelling as he buzzed quick to pick up the really easy ones like the missing word in the the silent night lyric “tender and X”, who played conan the barbarian, and naming standard kitchen utensils. Those were pure speed, an idiot would know the answers. Anderson also managed not to do anything really silly like buzzing in twice on the same question like Tyler did or answering “Stephen King” as an author inspired by a cyclone in 1890 like Cheech.

sticky March 19, 2010 at 1:41 pm

[re=533991]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: I think kids actually have an advantage on that question since they are automatically going to be thinking of children’s literature.

mookworthjwilson March 19, 2010 at 1:59 pm

What I learned last night was damn, Aisha Tyler is hot…

OzoneTom March 19, 2010 at 2:06 pm

[re=533991]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: They may have messed up the question then — a cyclone and tornado are totally different things.

Botswana Meat Commission FC March 19, 2010 at 2:55 pm

Seriously Mookworth. She’s like 6 feet tall, hot as fuck, smart enough to be on Celeb Jeopardy and funny enough to be a standup comedian and actress. And she apparently enjoys playing Halo and brewing her own micro-brews. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aisha_Tyler)

She is obviously a SexBot3000 built by a team of scientists and later released into the wild.

blkblt March 19, 2010 at 2:59 pm

Anderson and Wolf should take a ride in the Cash Cab. Then they could shout out to Brianna Keiler, mmmmmmmmmmmmm Brianna Keiler :)

NJB March 19, 2010 at 4:02 pm

[re=533917]Prommie[/re]: I think my gay sistahs more obsessed with Judy Garland specifically.

Though, I gotta say, those ruby slippers really are pretty Lady Gaga.

Sleeves March 19, 2010 at 4:25 pm

[re=533917]Prommie[/re]: Yes, because schadenfreude is never what you expect.

( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll0ZXeNDUqw )

maggiegg82 March 19, 2010 at 9:02 pm

woooooot!!!I came acorss a great hot poop sandwichr- tell your friends

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