Have you heard that CNN hired the blog Red State to be its new political commentator, to keep up with Glenn Beck or whatever? It is true. And the blog Red State is super-double crazy, which is fine and all, but now it is advocating some kind of insane “The Joker vs. Batman” wave of constant vandalism and harassment and destruction, nationwide, 24 hours a day, if those Democrats who were elected to run the White House and the Senate and Congress try to enact any of that legislation they were elected by wide margins to pass. Says this Red State person who we surely hope is wearing a V For Vendetta plastic Guy Fawkes mask: “They fear the threat of physical pain.” Why does CNN advocate violence against American democracy?
There are several things that we can do here at RedState as protectors, but much of what has to be done now is with our other hat on, as a part of The People. So strap it on, folks. There are many things the People must do very quickly, and continue to do until this is over. The ball is about to start rolling.
First among them is to re-establish that most fundamental of relationships with our elected representatives. Fear.
Yes, strap it on, indeed! Bring the fear. Would either Gandhi or Glenn Beck do anything differently? What?
But not a lot is really speculated about what the People can do…or should do. I see no suggestions of civil disobedience, by open outrage or by stealth and skulduggery, i.e, what can we get away with? (A lot, you betcha) But everyone does agree, we should not take up arms, or even take to the streets with pitchforks. I agree as well. But neither can we, I argue, simply bide our time, or take the Gandhi-MLK Jr-Glenn Beck tack, by linking arms and peaceably protesting and getting in touch with our inner selves if this Slaughter Rule actually materializes. (Right now it is just a floating balloon.) For one, the other side, once secure in power, will be far more ruthless than anything Gandhi or Dr King faced. More importantly, as we’ve seen, after their initial impact, our Tea Party marches and protests and sit-in, while still necessary, did not serve to make them afraid for very long. We saw this after the summer recess. When things got hot out in the districts, they simply left the fief and returned to the central castle, barricading themselves in the manor house, content that we would not only just have to get over it, but we would also have to lump it.
Castles, pitchforks, hobbits, the usual. But what about setting off a fire alarm, or farting on members of Congress?
There are all sorts of things you can do inside his office, and never get caught. We’ve known people to set off alarms and sprinkler systems with cigarettes, then skedaddle. But you may get caught. One alarm may cause a commotion, but five in two weeks will really annoy a lot of people, all with Congressman X’s name on that card. Always leave a card.
(There are even a few flatulence tricks I learned from the Russians, but can’t seem to find any useful purpose for them here. If you do, let me know. I’m always for expanding my repertoire.)
But mostly, the plan is to swat at liberal girls with a newspaper:
I can take my trusty newspaper with me everywhere. I’ve been contacted by various Tea Party groups asking me to join and I say, “But I already come to meetings. I’m the one with the newspaper.” (Being anonymous is twice the fun, and in reading this, you’re beginning to see why.) I even got to use it once, at a rally, when a twerpy little Leftist got in my face a bit too close (both for comfort and for me not to get a good arms-length whack at her), but even a short chop stings. The nice things is, who’s going to run off crying to the cops that some mean old man hit me with a newspaper?
You showed her, nutcase! Just hope she’s not your “death nurse” once the Death Panel sends you to the FEMA rape camp for old Teabaggers, because she has the Power to let you die quickly, or drag it out for several months. And, hooray for CNN, the best political team on television! Everybody call CNN and congratulate them for hiring the Red State to make news more news-y! [Red State]