Hooray! Health Care Vote-Buying Finally Produces ‘Cleveland Steamer’

  today in corruption

This is what the NRCC has been sending to reporters today, to show how the corrupt Democratic leadership bought Dennis Kucinich’s vote: an invitation for Dennis’ wife, the Elfin Faerie Goddess Liz, to show up with Michelle Obama and famous Movie Star Scarlett Johansson at some vegetarian photo-op tomorrow. You’ve figured it out, NRCC! Pitch Andrew Breitbart! [Washington Independent]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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39 comments

  1. KilgoreTrout_XL

    Ok, I get it, Scarlett fondles Michelle’s ass while Kucinich’s hawt wife watches and the GOP is still thinking about healthcare on account of them all being gay.

  2. Radiotherapy

    Too many bong hits and raps on the knuckles from nuns. I don’t get it. Must have got lost in translation.

  3. yargisbargis

    RNC’s argument is as clear as day folks!

    It’s because of those vegan harpees that Kucinich has dropped manly meaty meals and become so thin and reedy and easily buffeted by the political winds….

  4. Magnus Maximus

    Man, Kucinich hooking up with that fine tall drink of water just ain’t right. It’d be like if Gimli scored with Galadriel.

  5. Mista Eko

    Because if there’s anything that really attractive women want, it’s to be photographed next to an even more attractive woman.

  6. SmutBoffin

    [re=532705]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: [re=532708]ManchuCandidate[/re]: [re=532722]Magnus Maximus[/re]: I think the second article by Paul Bedard is just a “Letter to Penthouse”.

    “I never thought it would happen to me at an organic co-op…”

  7. Starrigavan

    I’ll vote for health care when I get offered a Houston Hummer or a Baltimore Bang Bang! Until then my votes are still with the Lizard People.

  8. Gramps

    AoSHQ, Hot Aire, Malkin, Towne Hall,Levin, Hannity and the “round mound of drug addicted sound “ a begging on bended knee for their posters and listeners too… call the supposed fence sitting Democrats…!

    Apparently they don’t appreciate that those Democrats don’t give a “rat’s patoot” about their emails, phone calls and/or letters.

    If you ain’t part of their voting district they don’t give a randy damn…honey!

    They only care about their constituents’ that vote for them and since you guys and gurls don’t…

    Those bright, baby, blues,of yours…have just turned a soft, deep, dim bulb, brown… and that goes for the “round mound of drug addicted sound”, from Palm Beach, too…

    Yah just gotta luv it…!

  9. Jim89048

    At first I read that as Sue Johanson, and trust me, there ain’t enough dope on the face of the planet to make me want to hit that…

  10. WhatTheHeck

    Wait. Wait. The repubs have Bachmann and Palin to throw at something.

    Meanwhile…
    Oooh the Elfin Faerie Goddess Liz…

  11. geminisunmars

    Oh, Wendykat. . .

    [re=532748]Extemporanus[/re]: [re=532740]WadISay[/re]:
    [re=532707]SayItWithWookies[/re]: What would I do without you?

  12. Extemporanus

    [re=532705]KilgoreTrout_XL[/re]: [re=532714]yargisbargis[/re]: Midget + Ass + Salad = Ménage à Toss

  13. Blender

    A “backup” is not nearly as kinky as a “cleveland steamer,” unless they have a different definition from what I learned from watching “24″ with the Thomases.

  14. comicbookguy

    Suffice to say if I got backup from Scarlett Johansson I would change my vote on just about anything.

    (the safety word is “single-payer”)

  15. ShamWow

    [re=532745]wendykat123[/re]: Hey spambot whore – will I find anything as hot as a Michelle-Scarlett-Elizabeth threesome on your piece of shit dating site? If not, then die already

  16. Advocatus_Diaboli

    So, if I understand this correctly:

    1. Oppose wildly popular legislation.
    2. Expose unsubstantiated tenuous connection between support for legislation and wildcard legislator.
    3. ???
    4. Profit!

  17. WIDTAP

    So Michelle would never advocate vegetables unless it bought another vote?
    I haven’t see a conspiracy run these deep since Barbara Bush came out in favor of brussels sprouts.

  18. sati demise

    Those three frolicking in the White House organic vegetable garden will be the beginning of the end for Monsanto and CAFOs.

  19. Jumping Jim

    Dear Wendykat,
    Can I assume that Dennis Kucinich used your site to find the woman he loves?
    Best regards,
    Us Guys

  20. Saint Ronald the Divine

    Nancy and I once had a threesome with Rock Hudson, I recounted my role as deep snapper in “Knute Rockney” and the aptly named Rock,played quarterback. Nancy actually was just a cheerleader but got really bored and passed out following the demise of a fifth of Gordons. Those really were the days my friends.

  21. SayItWithWookies

    [re=532797]Jumping Jim[/re]: Who cares!!! My hobbit thinks the same with me. He- is three feet shorter than me, lol. We met online at a Middle-Earth interspecies dating site- K_e_e_b_l_e_r_M_i_n_g_l_e @ c//.o//.m a nice and free place for Elvish- Women and Dwarvish Men, or Orcish Women and Men from Manassas, to- interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or- tell your friends.

  22. Mad Brahms

    I love that the paper of record for the NRCC is the New York Times. Delicious, delicious irony.

  23. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    How the likes of Glen Beck must weep, knowing that Health Care Reformed passed just because Kucinich wanted to be on the FOX “Brain Room”‘s of forced names/Urban Dictionary entries. Or, was it, as [re=532731]SmutBoffin[/re] pointed out, maybe he just did it for the best Penthouse Forum Letter Ever.

    Who could have guessed that Dennis Kucinich’s vote would be the one that led this country into Socialism.

    [re=532774]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Win! We must make sure that Jim submits this to whatever Awards there are for best internet porn post. Wonkette can be so much more than a War Blog.

  24. lumpenprole

    F0ck her Dennis! Do it. If this is what the the commie-hitler world is handing your Elfin-ass on a plate, for the love Jeebus, LIVE YOUR DESTINY! The golf guy who isn’t old/white, never had it so good!

  25. lumpenprole

    I’ve always wanted to pull a wendykat123. I’m just too opinionated and crazy drunk to pretend to be a bot. Is it wrong?

  26. artpepper

    “GOP: Did Kucinich Flip on Health Care to Promote Vegetarian Eating?”

    Well, duh! And you know who else was a vegetarian? (Hint: Hitler!)

  27. GOPCrusher

    I’m confused. Why did they find it necessary to mention her red-headeness? Not only do they hate teh Blacks, but now they are showing their anti-ginger kids bias?

Comments are closed.