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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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139 comments

  1. arewethereyet

    I wanted to grab that asshole throwing the dollar bills and shove those bills up his ass. what pityfull “people” . we have lost our way.

  2. nappyduggs

    This will go down in history as the first St.Patrick’s Day wherein I puked from the effects of a fucking YouTube video as opposed to the pony keg of Guinness I sucked down my gullet.

  3. Monsieur Grumpe

    No doubt the money doling asshat wraps himself in a US flag while reading his bible. His mother must be so proud.

  4. Dumptruck

    ‘”This is how Germany took over Austria. It scares me to death,” said Marc Studley, 45, of Upper Arlington.’

    I’m going to go out on a limb and say that no, this is not how Germany took over Austria, and what the fuck does it have to do with health care?

  5. imissopus

    You stay classy, America!

    “Name one thing Obama has done.” — Well, he’s close to giving you a coronary, old man. I call that a fucking start.

  6. 4tehlulz

    >This is how Germany took over Austria. It scares me to death,” said Marc Studley, 45, of Upper Arlington.

    It’s true. The pictures of Hitler leading his Parkinson’s-ridden army into Vienna still sends a chill down my spine.

  7. Ducksworthy

    Hey GOP! You’ve created the deluded angry mob. Now you can campaign on it. (note: they’re all out there in the street. That’s all there is of them. The gun clutching angry racist fringe, welcome to your new, highly energized, brand identity. Oh wait, plus Mitch McConnell.

  8. ella

    I’ll bet those are the same Ohio wingnuts we saw being all “Shit, no, he’s a Muslin!” before the election.

    The blue eyeshadow brigade looks familiar anyway.

  9. snideinplainsight

    ”This is how Germany took over Austria. It scares me to death,” said Marc Studley, 45, of Upper Arlington.

    Does anyone actually know any history anymore? We could just, you know, google ‘Austria’ or something.

  10. Extemporanus

    [re=532379]arewethereyet[/re]: [re=532389]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Seriously. Only an over-indulged, chino-clad douchetard would blow so many bills on such a shitty-ass stripper.

  11. PopeyesPipe

    Notice that the “reasonable opinion” expressed by the female wingnut at video’s end was essentially a best-of of Republican talking points: “crammed down our throat,” “too long to read,” “of course we all agree on the need for reform,” etc.

  12. Extemporanus

    [re=532369]jetjaguar[/re]: I believe that’s actually referred to as a “dumper sticker”.

  13. ManchuCandidate

    I bet this won’t help the meme that Teabaggers are not only racist but major assholes to boot.

  14. Hooray For Anything

    [re=532390]Dumptruck[/re]: Hitler and the Nazis came to power in Germany by promising single-payer health care. Austria, however, only had some HMOs and insurance companies. When Hitler told Austrians that they could have single payer healthcare if they let him run Austria, the Austrians invited him in and gave him the keys to the country. Anschluss is actually German for “reconciliation.”

  15. Tommmcatt

    The old guy living next to me has Parkensons. Don’t let anybody fool you- it is some rough shit to go through, the wery definition of a “wasting disease”. Anybody that would mock it is stunningly ignorant.

  16. Our Hobo Senator

    I don’t know if penis cancer really exists, but if it does, please Jeebus, inflict it upon that asshole throwing the dollar bills.

  17. RubberSoul

    [re=532407]PopeyesPipe[/re]: That and her whole “no one knows what’s in the bill, yet I know it’s bad for America” thing. Just because she talks softer than a shout doesn’t necessarily make her point any more valid than your typlcal Joe Teabagger.

  18. JMP

    Hey, as goods libertarian, these dudes were right. After all, having Parkinson’s shows that the guy is weak and undeserving, and how dare he ask the government to help him out with their tax dollars instead of just crawling away and dying; if he’s not fit to serve the righteous corporate overlords, than he’s good for nothing.

  19. Escape Goat Nation

    “It’s being crammed down our throats”

    I see the Fox audience is being well represented.

  20. Flanders

    [re=532420]Tommmcatt[/re]: I couldn’t watch the video for a similar reason – a close family member with mid-late stage Parkinson’s. Terrible, horrible disease, in so many ways. Ingnorant people mock the early symptoms (shakes) with no understanding or comprehension of how the disease progresses.

  21. Extemporanus

    [re=532420]Tommmcatt[/re]: My grandmother died of complications related to Parkinson’s and the experimental treatment study she was enrolled in by her former lifelong employer, the US Army. It’s hard for me to remember a time when she wasn’t fighting like hell to hide her symptoms from her concerned, yet naïve grandkids.

    What I wouldn’t give to brain damage the fuck out of that motherfucker on her behalf…

  22. notreallyhelping

    “Honey? This is your mother. I think I just saw you on the TV throwing money at a man with Parkinson’s. Yes? Well, I’m just thinking you should find some other place to sleep tonight.”

  23. RoscoePColtraine

    A reading from the Gospel according to America:

    And then Jesus spake unto the lame man, saying, “get thee up, motherfucker, before I shove-est mine sandal up into thine ass,” and the lame man walked; and the crowd marvelled, for lo, Jesus was kind to this lame man.

  24. nappyduggs

    [re=532426]Our Hobo Senator[/re]:

    You don’t really believe that he has a penis, do you?

    Hey, yeah, wingnut guy. You don’t see anybody going around throwing money at your gelding brethren, do you?

  25. qwerty42

    [re=532435]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: solution to healthcare matters: we’re number 1, we’re number 1, we’re number 1! (keep chanting this until you get better or die).

  26. iantenna

    the “keep yr gubmint hands off my big mac” dude was joking, right? that was satire, yes? please?

  27. GeneralLerong

    So. An opportunity to rough someone up, wasted. And money to be picked up afterwards, too.
    Tsk.

  28. Ducksworthy

    Throwing money at the guy with Parkinson’s is classy. Also telling him, “if your looking for a hand out your in the wrong part of town. Here you have to work for everything you get.” Exactly what Jeebus would say.

  29. WIDTAP

    [re=532405]snideinplainsight[/re]: Sure they do. History is written there in black and white in their Texas schoolbooks.

  30. nappyduggs

    [re=532443]RoscoePColtraine[/re]:

    Great Scott, that may be the most sparkling thing I’ve lain eyes upon in a long while. I am hoisting one for you, as we speak.

  31. nappyduggs

    [re=532460]nappyduggs[/re]:

    Mmmm. Have “laid” eyes upon. Yes. Not drinking quickly enough.

  32. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=532449]iantenna[/re]: THIS. I thought I had misheard, but no. Of course my first thought was, “Dude, maybe the gubmint oughta tell you to lay off the Big Macs.”

  33. SayItWithWookies

    No wonder they’re against healthcare — who would they mock if everyone was healthy?

  34. Maus

    [re=532405]snideinplainsight[/re]: “Does anyone actually know any history anymore?”

    Renowned historical scholar Glenn Beck is all they need. Hell, he’s an expert at everything, just like his rolemodel. Less Limbaugh, more L Ron Hubbard.

  35. Monsieur Grumpe

    [re=532426]Our Hobo Senator[/re]:
    I’d settle for a case of syphilis and a letter from his insurance company stating that they won’t cover his affliction.

  36. Hooray For Anything

    What do conservatives have against people with Parkinson’s? First it was Rush making fun of Michael J Fox and now this? Is it because Jesus only cured lepers thereby making everything else fair game?

  37. 4tehlulz

    [re=532483]Jay G[/re]: For what it’s worth, chances are, these assholes don’t live in the district.

  38. Ducksworthy

    [re=532433]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: And Fux news viewers have had their throats thoroughly conditioned by having all manner of strange objects crammed down them.

  39. GIJoeIce

    Why is it that everybody who comes to DC has to buy an FBI or CIA hat like it’s the coolest thing ever? This guy came here because he honestly believes the government is trying to kill him, yet he can’t resist the badass CIA hat from that kitsch store in Union Station.

  40. Shaggypixel

    Once again, a group of individuals who would invariably deny the legitimacy of the science supporting the idea of biological evolution, practicing social Darwinism.

    Hopefully, someday, their fistulated overlord Rush can teach them about delicious, delicious irony. He is the fucking master.

  41. Dashboard_Buddha

    Now see…this is why I don’t go to rallies and such. I’m not a violent man and I haven’t been in a fight since I was a kid, but Whiteshirt’s behavior would sorely try my patience.

  42. FMA

    [re=532446]WIDTAP[/re]: See, the “mainstream” historians all say it was with “tanks” and
    “guns,” but we all know that the Nazis invaded Austria by passing health care reform using parliamentary procedures such as reconciliation because the Nazis were all about parliamentary procedure.

  43. RoscoePColtraine

    [re=532488]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Why would anyone wish such a horrbile thing on syphilis, for god’s sake? What has syphilis EVER DONE to deserve having to reside in such a vile, repugnant creature?

  44. ph7

    [re=532490]Hooray For Anything[/re]: For the religious conservative, it’s because disease is the outward manifestation of sin that a person has allowed in his life by straying from Jesus. For the fiscal conservative, it’s actually as presented in the video – your health care costs require a transfer of wealth.

  45. RoscoePColtraine

    [re=532498]Shaggypixel[/re]: I actually know a guy who talks about the story of Enoch, you know, the bible character who never tasted death because god whisked him away (at age 900 I believe) to heaven in a golden chariot, or somesuch? Yes. Well, my “friend” talks about Enoch, and I mean, really talks a blue streak. Then comes out with, “you know the reason I don’t believe in evolution, Roscoe? It’s because I don’t believe there’s enough evidence.” Evidence! Can’t swallow that evolution crap due to lack of evidence.

    This, people, is what we are dealing with. And we are thoroughly fucked.

  46. Helefink

    Can anybody possibly identify the bill-throwing asshole? I need to know who he is. He deserves more media recognition. Maybe he can go on Rush Limbaugh’s show and they can mock those with Parkinson’s together. They could even take it on the road opening for Glenn Beck’s fucking Christmas Sweater. But seriously, I want that guy’s name.

  47. mardam422

    It’s so hard to snark behavior like that. As mentioned above, I hope his Mother/Wife/Father with epilepsy doesn’t see that. Christ on a stick, I’m embarrassed from here.

  48. freakishlystrong

    [re=532519]Helefink[/re]: I’m with you. That poor, bumper-stickered baby had to be exposed to that hateful douchebag. I’m not violent, but had I witnessed that asshole throwing his filthy money at that poor guy, depriving him of all dignity, I probably would have at least rammed something down his throat.

  49. Escape Goat Nation

    Trust me, every right wing asshole with a radio show is looking for White shirt guy. He’ll be the next Joe the Plumber.

  50. Manos: Hands of Fate

    The worst part of all this shit is that three months after a bill is passed (yeah, I’m being hopeful) none of these people will remember what they were all pissed off about. They will stop talking, screaming about the issue totally. They will have moved on to something else to scream and yell about: guns, black helicopters, climate change etc. It will be like Y2K.

  51. Shaggypixel

    [re=532517]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Exactly. And yet I’m sure he has no problem with endorsing creation “science.”

    I keep chanting: “they are only 21% of the population!” as I rock back and forth sucking my thumb, my back up against the darkest corner of the room. Because holy shit they are 21% of the population!

  52. tootsieroll

    I watched that earlier via TPM. I was so thoroughly disgusted. I agree with Helefink, this man needs to be outed and shamed for the stupid prick he is.

  53. a_pink_poodle

    [re=532488]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:

    Well syphilis can be cured pretty easily with a few dollars of penicillin. However, in the late stages of syphilis, you’re as good as gone at that point.

  54. Dashboard_Buddha

    [re=532524]mardam422[/re]: Agreed…I’m ashamed to be an american again…just when I was getting over hiding my head during shrub’s reign of terror.

  55. doxastic

    [re=532431]american mutt[/re]: It’s an enthymeme, so we have to fill in some of the missing reasoning:

    Muhammad Ali has Parkinson’s
    Ali was a conscientious objector to the Vietnam War
    That was an act of Communist sedition
    Ergo, Parkinson’s is Communist.

    While, as Ali said, the Viet Cong never have called him ‘nigger,’ I’m sure some of these people have.

  56. One Yield Regular

    [re=532531]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: Not only that, they’ll also be first in line to access the bill’s provisions.

    At least I now understand, thanks to that very nice gentleman handing out money, that should health care reform NOT pass, all my medical bills are to be submitted directly to Teapartypatriots.org.

  57. BarackMyWorld

    [re=532498]Shaggypixel[/re]: He’s “on the cutting edge of societal evolution”, after all.

  58. Pithaughn

    [re=532499]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: He and his ilk are why I do go to rallies. I make it very clear that one or both of us is going to the hospital if they throw the first punch. Sadly, no takers yet. Although one young punk actually threw his cig stub at my feet. I thought I would provoke said first punch by carefully picking up the stub and carrying over to his side of the street and placing it in a trash can. Grand Junction Colorado.

  59. Berkeley Bear

    [re=532449]iantenna[/re]: Sadly, no. Dumbass doesn’t realize, of course, that the government’s hands (including USDA inspection, OSHA regulations and such) are the only reason e coli hasn’t destroyed McDonald’s completely, rather than shutting down a processing plant every so often.

  60. Hooray For Anything

    [re=532531]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: I think Financial Reform is next on the agenda so the Tea Baggers won’t have long to wait before being able to go out and protest the government takeover of Shearson Lehman and AIG. I’m sure the logic behind protesting it will be almost Sophoclean. Then, there’s immigration reform sometime in late spring/summer and, woo boy, won’t that be fun. The only thing Conservatives hate more than people with Parkinson Disease is brown people.

  61. Dashboard_Buddha

    [re=532556]Pithaughn[/re]: Hmmm, maybe I should start going. But, I’m old and fat so I’ll probably get my ass handed to me…plus I don’t have health insurance. Shit, maybe not.

  62. StoneAge

    The only way this video of a shirt-and-tie wearing Health Care protester throwing dollars at a man with Parkinson’s screaming, “No more handouts!” could encapsulates the debate any better is if the Parkinson’s sufferer was a Black Mexican.

  63. Beowoof

    For the dollar throwing idiot I would recall the misspent days of my hoodlum youth and kick his ass for him.

    Someone wished cancer of the penis on him. I would submit that is too kind. I would like to see him with a serious case of painful cancer of the asshole, right after he gets laid off and loses his health care insurance. Is that too harsh? Or is it a fair interpretation of karma.

  64. EdFlinstone

    Actually white shirt douche just reinforces my libtard beliefs, and I sure as shit know baby jeebus aint on their side.

  65. Ducksworthy

    [re=532549]BarackMyWorld[/re]: Also, it is worth noting that Yahoo is taking comments again you you don’t have to just read gibberish, you can add your own. No facts I meant facts. Like health care is going to 19.5% of GDP by 2017 (GAO) if nothing is done.

  66. Limeylizzie

    Well, Dylan Ratigan just had this clip on his show, so we may soon know who this complete fucking wanker is.

  67. BobTheBuilder

    You can picture Mr. Whiteshirt fitting in with a mocking, frenzied crowd at Golgotha 2,000 years ago – and with the silent, dignified Parkinson’s sufferer as hanging from a cross.

  68. foulmouthed mrscreant

    Sad, sad, sad, so fucking sad. That white shirted douche can go ahead fall into a ravine and rot away for all I care. To treat another human being like that is inexcusable and I hope his employer is a liberal and fires his ass after said douche posts this clip on his facebook page and brags. Then I hope he gets sick, spends all his savings on COBRA and ends up applying for Medicaid because he has no more money. Then Medicaid denies him because of too many assets and tells him to try again after getting rid of everything he owns. Yeah, that fuckhead brought out the best in me.

  69. mumblyjoe

    You know that whole “Republicans give more money to charity” meme? Well, it ends up, they do, but it’s primarily in the form of wadded up doller bills that they throw in the faces of people with Parkinson’s.

  70. June Cleaver 2.0

    Well let’s just hope the passing of healthcare will quiet these people down for a few weeks. Maybe they’ll just go home, licking their wounds and be quiet for awhile. Let us pray.

  71. Radiotherapy

    [re=532563]Hooray For Anything[/re]: I hope you don’t mind my brazen heist:

    Hitler and the Nazis came to power in Germany by promising capitalistic, free-market banking practices. Austria, however, had some regulatory oversite on their financial institutions. When Hitler told Austrians that they could have a free market economy if they let him run Austria, the Austrians invited him in and gave him the keys to the country. Anschluss is actually German for Graham-Leich Bliley.

  72. The Lucky Wife

    [re=532428]RubberSoul[/re]: True. My thoughts were “just because YOU have no idea what is in the bill doesn’t mean that the rest of us don’t.” To be fair, all of those in her group probably don’t know what’s in the bill, so assume that no one else knows what’s in it either. Her remark about the bill “putting small businesses out of work” shows her ignorance as well – the current system is closing small businesses. The saddest part is that she has no idea how ignorant she sounded with her inconsistencies, even if talking in a normal tone of voice rather than shouting.

  73. geminisunmars

    I found it revealing how slatheringly angry they became by the man sitting quietly in front of them with his sign. I don’t think he said a word (I couldn’t make myself watch it again to see if that were so, or if that was just the impression I got). Still, they were frothing, and the stiller the man was, the more spittle (and dollars) flew. Clearly their lizard brains felt profoundly attacked.

  74. The Lucky Wife

    As for the white-shirted teabagger (I refuse to call him an asshole, for that would insult assholes), “Karma’s a bitch”. Not original, but apt.

  75. The Station Manager

    [re=532725]NopantsMcGee[/re]: Oh my god, what fucking assholes. I got nothing; that just hurt my head.

  76. glamourdammerung

    Everyone is being really unfair to the teabaggers here. It takes a real man to threaten and assault the handicapped.

  77. AngryAtheist

    What an extra special group of retards…

    I especially despise the last person on the tape who attempted to sound reasonable while telling those who are dying to politely fuck off.

    The guillotine…she is hungry…is it time to feed her yet?

  78. Beowoof

    [re=532761]wendykat123[/re]: I do hope you lost your health insurance when he left. And I hope you get that cancer of the asshole I mentioned, from the guy in the white shirt who will throw money at you.

  79. foog

    [re=532725]NopantsMcGee[/re]: OK, I hate to admit it, but I laughed at this:

    “The dude has Parkinsons! He should shake it off and move on.”

    Now I am going to burn in hell forever and I don’t even know if that wingnut blogger even noticed what he had written.

  80. King of the Dipshits

    [re=532501]FMA[/re]: The Nazis pretty much invented tricky parliamentary procedures. I understand that in 1933 there was a fierce debate over whether they should use the top secret weapon “Reconciliation” or simply burn down the Reichstag. Thank god they decided to just burn the bitch down or we would all be speaking German right now.

  81. obfuscator

    the dollar bill throwing guy probably doesn’t care about hcr reform due to the fact that medical science hasn’t developed any effective course of treatment for cancer of the soul.

    that’s all the snark i can muster here, guys. this seriously just makes me so sad that i’m close to crying.

  82. DoktorZoom

    Seriously, could our Ohio Wonkette Irregulars please stay on top of this and find out who Whiteshirt Weasel is? This guy needs to have his name, address, and phone posted on /b/

  83. Darkness

    [re=532624]mumblyjoe[/re]: I assumed those statistics included the dollars tossed at their holy men to build ever bigger and uglier churches for themselves to stand around inside and be doubly assured of being holier than everyone else. Hell if charity for their own egos count, liberals should get to count “donations” to wineries toward stocking the cellar and upgraded battery packs for their priuses.

  84. wallythepug

    White Shirt Prick must hate that the Dems are running Ohio these days, and that Sherrod Brown is his senator. Oh, and penis cancer, also.

  85. DC Hates Me

    Another possibility is American Family Patriot Institute. A very very small teabag group. Another possiblity is some Air Force group. Best I can do.

  86. mumblyjoe

    [re=532849]Darkness[/re]: and relatedly, it also includes various griftish set-ups where people get told that if they pray really hard (and also give money to us!), then they’ll be paid back in riches beyond their wildest dreams. Sort of the opposite of “charitable” giving, by definition, but apparently, if you mention Jesus a few times, it counts as altruism, rather than a 419 scam.

  87. AnnieGetYourFun

    Hey, they found a lady at the end who was able to make all of the Fox talking points without visible spittle flying in every direction. You don’t see that very often.

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