important press conferences

Dennis Kucinich Looks So Excited To Vote Yes!

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After Barack Obama sat on Dennis Kucinich’s face and farted constantly for 72 hours, with Joe Biden adding in some noogies for good measure, Dennis has finally agreed to vote for his party’s major piece of legislation. He had to hold a press conference to announce this. Thanks Dennis! [YouTube]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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  • OzoneTom

    So that locks up the Keebler Kaucus!

  • Chernobyl Soup

    Photos of the hot mick wife on this green holiday please?

  • Fighting Bill

    Update: also on the plane was Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, who sat on Dennis Kucinich’s wife Elizabeth’s face and deposited a golden shower. That’s what did it.

  • slappypaddy

    that this decent and often clueless saint could be a congressman, much less a democratic congressman from the forsworn state of hydroxyl, is ample proof that the universe is stranger than we can explain. let us wander its labyrinth and marvel over its wonders. there goes one now: the ghostly image of a wise and generous people. just a dream, it seems.

  • TGY

    I see that Catholic nuns are also behind this, in a break with Catholic bishops. They are always nun the wiser.

  • Not_So_Much

    C’mon Jim — if you have to talk about wee Dennis, can’t you at least post a pic of his wife instead of him?

  • SmutBoffin

    He looks a little worn out from resisting coercion by Rahm E. for a week. That or from staying up late at night, boffing his hot Old Lady.

    Anyway, can’t he just sneak into the houses of uninsured old cobblers late at night and leave little gifts of pharmaceuticals with no co-pay?

  • freakishlystrong

    Man, the wingnuts are going to turn the crazy up to eleven. The next few days should be fun!

  • Hart88

    Jane Hamsher will now write a joint letter with Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck and Michele Malkin demanding Kucinich’s resignation.

  • JMP

    Oh, Dennis, when will you learn, you can’t escape them; they’ll always be after your Lucky Charms, and they’ll always get them in the end.

    [re=532296]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: That wouldn’t be appropriate. She’s a Limey, not a Mick.

  • Oblios Cap

    Dennis, you’re my favorite munchkin. Stay on the Yellow Brick Road!

  • snideinplainsight

    Yay Mrs. K!

    Over on RedState, they have a dog jumping out of an airplane. Over here, we have Wee Dennis. You be the judge.

  • Chernobyl Soup

    [re=532296]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: The Google says she’s English, not Irish. But while I’m pretending things about her I might as well pretend she’s Irish too.

  • Suds McKenzie

    “Dobby will have to punish himself most grievously for coming to see you, sir. Dobby will have to shut his ears in the oven door for this.”

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Rep. Dennis Kucinich, D-Ohio, pragmatic, bare knuckled political mover. And magic elf.

    And the the thing with the nuns doesn’t surprise me at all. From my years in the Catholic Church, I know they are the ones down on the street, doing the heavy lifting and dirty work of Catholic charity and missions of mercy. The bishops? Eh, not so much.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Dennis even dug up the Brown Suit of Acceptance of Unpleasant Compromises for this occasion — which is a signal to the three Ohioans who think he’s not quite lefty enough that he’ll keep trying.

  • populucious

    Consensus by tickle party…I think it could catch on!

  • bago

    Meh. Jim’s just happy because he doesn’t have to do an ALT tag on a youtube clip.

  • gjdodger

    [re=532308]JMP[/re]: We welcome our new six foot redheaded hot tongue-studded Overladies.

  • Oblios Cap


    Watch what you say about the nuns. You don’t to piss off their husband.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=532310]Oblios Cap[/re]: Lollipop Guild represent, yo!

    From now on you’ll be history, and we will glorify your name! You will be a bust in the Healthcare Hall of Fame!

  • SnarkNotFark

    I thought Fox News was trying to indicate a Homer Simpson-esque sound of defeat at realizing Kucinich is the tipping point, but then I realized (D-OH) meant Democrat from Ohio, not d’oh.

  • mumblyjoe

    Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He- is eight inches shorter than me, lol. We met online at an height gap dating site- E_l f_m_in_g l e @ c./o./m a nice and free place for Leggy- Women and Elfin Men, or Elfin Women and Leggy Men, to- interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or- tell your friends.

  • Limeylizzie

    [re=532296]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: She is English…not a Mick, we has the gingers as well.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=532308]JMP[/re]: [re=532314]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: But Dennis is half-Irish, so when he drunkenly assaults her with his wee dick later, would it then be appropriate?

    TWO-FOR-ONE TRUE FACT: Dennish Kucinich is the same age as Iggy Pop, and Iggy Pop is the same height as Dennis Kucinich’s wife.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=532339]Extemporanus[/re]: “Dennish”?!

    Heppy Shaint Paddy’s Gay everbobadahyy!!{1’/. da. loa21 ”0–ppp!!~!!!1

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=532334]mumblyjoe[/re]: Oh, you are good at this.

  • ManchuCandidate

    I think this HC reform is just a first step.

    Do you think that the shitballs known as the Healthcare Insurance industry was going to sit back and let “Single Payer” wipe them out? As soon as the rumbling began, everyone knew those fuckers were going to go all out to keep everything as is to keep their precious profits. And boy did they.

    No preznit before now could push anything like this through. Not even FDR.

    The best solution is Single Payer (believe me I know being from Canada City and all and having just endured major surgery and I still like my system) but it is unfortunately going to take small long steps that have to be fought every way because of the money involved and that certain relatively large percentage of your populace is incredibly retarded and dense.

    I think even the Kuch finally got that.

  • Come here a minute

    He may be a space alien, but a least he’s not Ralph Nader.

  • JMP

    [re=532353]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Well, FDR probably could have pushed a national health system through; remember that his attempt was thwarted by an inconvenient case of dying, then it was Truman who proved unable to complete the deal.

  • sezme

    [re=532317]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Actually, that’s David Byrne’s suit from Stop Making Sense. Strangely ironic here, considering that Kucinich has just started making sense.

  • Cicada

    [re=532306]Hart88[/re]: There were a couple of commenters over at TPM calling him, among other things, a “corporate whore”.

    Those folks are just an ideologically flipped version of the Freepers freaking out over Scott Brown voting for the jobs bill.

  • GOPCrusher

    [re=532545]Cicada[/re]: Corporate whore? Dennis’ll bust a cap in a foo’s ass for less than that!

  • BobTheBuilder

    Fox News knows that Kucinich’s vote is the nail in the coffin. They’ve even written a Homer Simpsonesque “D-oh!” on their screen blurb.

  • lochnessmonster

    Why do DCers feel compelled to call a press conference about every little thing? We’ll know his vote after they vote! Can anyone help my addled brain understand??? Or are they all vying for some congressional award like the academy awards???

  • steverino247

    [re=532335]Limeylizzie[/re]: That’s because both of you were visited by these guys back in the day:

  • Neilist

    Dennis Kucinich! You’ve SOLD OUT! You can beat this Jew over the head with a bag of sugar, or beat out that rhythm on a drum!

  • naveed

    Apparently the Chicago mafia actually means something. Take note Cleveland mobsters.