rumors on the internets

Internet More Hateful Than Ever, So Write Mean Things In The Comments!

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  • Why won’t Barack Obama let The Troops who liberated Haiti from Hugo Chavez’s earthquake machine fly the Stars and Stripes? [The Corner]
  • NASA discovered a delightful popcorn shrimp frolicking 600 feet below Antarctica. [The Daily Dish]
  • Here is some horrifying footage of Barbara Boxer’s cap and trade-powered Zeppelin carpet bombing the quiet streets of Malibu with taxes and unspeakable electric bills. [The Caucus]
  • After reading the entire Internet, The Simon Wiesenthal Center for Tolerance has concluded that 9/11 furry conspiracies are more popular (and hurtful) than ever. [AMERICAblog]
  • Ken Layne explains to some dandy “editor-in-chief of Reason magazine” that Ron Paul will not give him baskets of golden buttplugs for his savings. [True/Slant]

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

View all articles by Riley Waggaman


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • M Lite

    Well, we did occupy Haiti for almost 20 years in the inter war period. Maybe they’re sensitive about that? Why won’t President Obama teach them how truly exceptional we are and rub this in their face?

  • AbstinenceOnly Ed

    I like typing “cunt” because it makes my small dick feel bigger.

    And how teabaggers are so fat they can’t remember what their dicks looks like, so they strive to become living embodiments of genitalia and teabag the world!

  • bureaucrap

    I hate Big Brother! I hate Big Brother! I hate Big Brother!

    There, now it’s 21% more hateful.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    I don’t get it, NASA is too poor to look for life in space, so now they are looking for life under the ocean?? Next thing you know they will be discovering gum under the chairs in their cafeteria.

  • Extemporanus

    I knew I could trust Intern Riley to waggaman that “Boxer Balloon” ad.

    Everybody wave at your computer screen when it passes over Alamo Square in SF — you can see me in the window of my apartment waving right back at you!

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    Wow, when AMERICAblog first started up years ago, the regulars were well-spoken, humorous, and erudite. Looks like it’s been taken over by mouthbreathing libtards in recent years. Glad I didn’t hang around to see the senility set in, and instead came to where all the smart and sexy people are: Wonkette!

    (Gimme my $5, Riley.)

  • SayItWithWookies

    That Boxer Blimp video is eight minutes long?! I have a new respect for Fred Davis — he might not have a winning candidate, but at least he’ll have his own mini-Pixar after her race flames out in ignominious fashion.

  • V572625694

    [re=531841]M Lite[/re]: Haha, the “interwar period.” Thank goodness we don’t have any more of those. All war all the time! USA, fuck yeah!

  • give us a bob

    Boo Barbara Boxer, first woman to chair the Environment and Public Works Committee. Boo.

    Although, the electrified Boxer-Blimp, calling for me to live off-world, is kinda terrifying in a Philip K. Dick sort of way.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    So, the Simon Wiesenthal Center for Tolerance has declared that the Internet is naughty? Yea, well FUCK THAT SHIT.

  • Mr Blifil

    Was that a shrimp or Andrew Sullivan’s “little friend?”

  • Escape Goat Nation

    Dear concerned Americans:
    Glenn Beck needs your important questions for his show tonight.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Thank God Erick, son of Erick is going on CNN. CNN was letting too many facts get in the way of most of their broadcasts.

  • M Lite

    Good point V…and, really, I thought the blimp ad had a very Monty Python sensibility…

  • DC Hates Me

    [re=531852]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Yes, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration are fishing for jobs on Earth – because of butthurt space fail.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Hey, given that Haiti is cursed by the Devil, isn’t it smart of Obama to not draw his attention to us?

  • S.Luggo

    Hobo beans and sub-artic shrimps. Ah, that’s the life.

  • S.Luggo

    If we hoist the Stars and Stripes, it could give those unfortunate people that false impression that we will stay for years and years. We did that flag raising shit in Iraq and look what happened.

  • NYC prof

    At least NASA is still allowed to go fishing…

  • sati demise

    Hateful? just read Sarah Palins screed on Obamanation screwing up USA foreign policy.

    oh yea, this is mean. so mean it was probably written by Billy Kristol herself.

  • schvitzatura

    I believe that the issue of Andy McCarthy’s personal douchebaggedness, including his collaboration with putz-y, snark-hating lame-os at NRO, should have been disqualifying…

  • friendlyskies

    [re=531841]M Lite[/re]: Good lord, do these people ever visit the rest of the Americas? I mean, and leave their opulent, gated resorts filled with obsequious underpaid staff? McCarthy can’t understand how flying the US flag in Haiti, which would do absolutely nothing to help our mission there at all, would give Hugo and the Bolivarians rhetorical ammunition. Fucking A, that’s a special kind of stupid. Next this guy will write an article about how terrible it is that our female embassy staff in the Middle East don’t wear minidresses and pushup bras.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=531885]M Lite[/re]: I just got around to watching it (okay, watching half of it) and wow, what a tedious load of nonsense. At about 3:26 I gave up, just as the narrator was going to introduce Fiorina. Obviously he was deeply in love with his portrayal of Boxer — but really, waiting three and a half minutes to even start mentioning his own candidate’s name and dwelling meticulously on her opponent instead? I take back any inkling of worthwhile cynicism I may have attributed to Fred Davis, that tendentious idiot torn by Freudian desires for a woman who doesn’t destroy perfectly good corporations for a living.

  • gurukalehuru

    correction to Andrew Sullivan story: socialist Europa.
    re: Simon Wiesenthal “dangerous 9/11 conspiracy theories.” In what way does it endanger Simon Wiesenthal, the state of Israel or anyone else for me to suggest that Vice President Dick Cheney, the head of security for the World Trade Center Complex Marvin (the president’s little brother)Bush and building owner Larry Silverstein conspired to have the buildings knocked down, knowing full well that their good friend Rupert Murdoch would report the events in a way favorable to them and that Marvin’s brother George would reap enormous political benefit, Cheney’s old buddies at Halliburton would get billions of dollars in contracts and Larry Silverstein would get a cool $5 billion for that real estate he was otherwise losing money on?

  • disgustedcitizen

    Republican are poopy heads! There is that mean enough?

  • loupgarous

    Gee, crack a history book and learn that when the US Marines ran Haiti it had roads, public schools, a police force that actually enforced the law (the Garde Haitien, set up by legendary Marine Gen. Smedley Butler), and a working phone system.

    I know, the humanity, the humanity, how dare we impose our ideas about civilization on the Haitians…

    The guy who smarted off about the Haitians holding post-colonial grudges against the American flag is probably also active in spreading the rumor that the Israeli MASH unit which saved so many lives of quake victims is really down there to harvest human organs from dead Haitians.